Even when I really wanted to speed all through the freeway and to my house, much like I usually did, I followed through with Dakota’s request to drive carefully. The only thing that distracted me from really putting my car to the ultimate test was my companion.
Thankfully, we made it home without a problem. However, I decided that I’d have to get my speed fix later on, when I was alone even if I risked another ticket or worse.
Unlocking the front door to my house, I stepped to the side and gestured for Dakota to go in ahead of me. He obliged, strolling in casually, glancing around the living room as he took in my living space.
“This is nice,” he commented.
When he walked into my house, he seemed a little uncomfortable, but tried to pretend as if he was okay. Though I noted his tense posture, I refrained from commenting about it.
“Thanks. I decorated it myself.”
He bobbed his head up and down. “Yeah, I can definitely see that.”
“Can you really?” I turned to close and lock the door.
“It has your touch.” He gestured around the room.
I was curious over what he meant so I asked, “How do you know it’s my touch?”
He smiled sheepishly. “Pretty, elegant, and with a certain edge to it.”
I glance around the room. He could really see all that in the décor?
“You really have an eye for observation, huh?”
He laughed. “You could say that.” He shrugged. “Sometimes you can guess how a person is like by what you see in their home.”
“Yet, you couldn’t tell I have a led foot,” I pointed out.
“Well…do you really want me to tell you what I was thinking?” He stepped closer to me. “Yesterday?”
My eyebrows arched. “When you first saw my car?”
He nodded.
“Sure, go ahead.”
He shook his head. “I was thinking that you probably enjoy showing off in it,” he started. “It’s a nice, fancy car, and with you behind the wheel, it almost looks as if you were made for each other.”
It was funny he said that because when my father took me car shopping earlier in the year, I had fallen in love with that car the moment my eyes spotted it across the dealership. I had been so adamant about buying it that I’d refused to look at any others. At that point in time I’d felt as if the car had been made for me.
I grabbed a lock of my hair and twirled my finger around it. “You’re right you know. I do like to show off in it. How do you think I’ve gotten so many speeding tickets?”
He bobbed his head up and down. “That’s what I thought.”
“But there’s a lot more to be said about me,” I added.
“There’s a lot I can’t read about you,” he remarked. “I’ll admit to that.”
That simple statement really sparked my curiosity. What exactly did he want to know? What was he so curious about?
I mean, sure, I was intrigued by him. There was a lot about his personality I wanted to decipher. In a way, he was like this giant jigsaw puzzle I looked forward to putting together.
“You’re trying to read me right now, aren’t you?”
He fixed his glasses again, sliding them up his nose with his index finger. “It’s just that I’ve been wondering what you’re going to get out of all this.”
I smiled. Dakota was perhaps as intrigued by me as I was by him. “A good kick. That’s all,” I said, not bothering to elaborate further. “Follow me.”
Sashaying toward the hallway, I only glanced back once to see if Dakota was following me and when I noted that he was, I continued on to the kitchen where I opened the refrigerator to take a quick inventory of what was inside.
Because Audrey and Delilah usually took care of all the cooking, I had no clue what was left or what we had in terms of food. But since I really wanted to cook a nice meal for my guest, I carefully planned a menu with what I could see.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Dakota’s voice interrupted my careful planning.
I looked back and smiled. “Just sit and relax.” I pointed to the dining table. “This won’t take long.”
He nodded, pulled out an empty chair, and sat facing me. “So, what are you cooking?”
Turning my attention back to the fridge, I started collected the ingredients I needed.
“Tuscan pasta with tomato-basil cream,” I replied. “I hope you like Italian.”
He chuckled softly. “I’ve never tried that dish, but it sounds delicious.”
“And it tastes delicious. Just wait until you try it.” Setting the ingredients on the countertop, I sauntered over to the counter across from the stove, open a top cabinet, and removed a box of croutons I planned to add to the salad later on.
Next, I went in search for the pots and pans I would need in order to prepare the food, which were hanging from a rack just above the center island in the middle of the room. Taking several down, I rinsed them, and then placed them on top of the stove.
“Have you, by any chance, heard from Margaret?” I asked as I set the pasta to cook.
“No. Why?” His voice grew solemn all of a sudden.
I didn’t turn around to look at him. I didn’t want to see the discomfort I could already sense. “Because Kirk was here this morning.”
As I poured Alfredo sauce into a medium saucepan, I waited for him to say something, but it took him a while to respond.
“What did he want?”
I wanted to lie in order to get my way. I wanted to say that Kirk had only stopped by to gloat over his new conquest so that I could further entice him into going along with my plan, but I found that I could not. The words refused to come out.
Instead of lying, I said, “He was just upset because apparently, the rumor of us seeing each other has already spread.” Which was not a lie at all. Kirk had dropped by for that reason; I just happened to omit the part where he’d mentioned that Margaret meant nothing to him out of my response. I felt that if I were to mention this, Dakota would go and seek Margaret out, and being the selfish brat that I’d was I didn’t want him to do that.
“That was fast,” Dakota remarked.
“Well, you don’t know Michaela. She’s great and all, but the girl can’t keep a secret even if her life depended on it.” I shook my head.
“So, it’s official? According to your friends, we have something going on?”
“By tomorrow everyone else will assume the same. But how far is it from the truth?” Pouring wine into a sauce jar, I shook it thoroughly before covering it. “We do have something going on. Even if it’s not what people think.” Stirring the wine mixture into the saucepan, I then added the chopped tomatoes and 1/2 cup chopped basil, before setting it to cook over medium-low heat.
“You have a point,” he said. “What is it that we agreed on last night?”
I quickly set out to prepare a nice salad to go with our pasta.
“Well, considering that Margaret strikes me as the kind of girl that loves attention, and she’s probably assuming that no matter how big her mistake is, if she changes her mind you’ll take her back, I suggested we pretend that we’re dating,” I quickly filled him in. “What better way to get back at our cheating exes than by spending time together.”
“And you think that’ll work?” He sounded skeptical, as if he the idea was ludicrous. To be honest it probably was, but I was pretty confident of what I could accomplish.
“I know Kirk like the back of my hand. If there is one thing he’ll hate more than anything, that would be seeing me with you.” And I knew that for a fact.
“I’m not sure about Margaret.”
Deep down I knew Dakota was hoping for things to work one way or another. I don’t know why but I could almost sense just how deep his feelings for this girl were. Regardless of how much she’d hurt him, he still loved her. Five years was a long time and it was obvious he’d been completely committed to her. Up until she ruined things of course.
I wasn’t sure why or if he’d agree with me, but maybe he wanted to prove to himself that she did care for him on some deep level.
“Trust me; she’s bound to realize how stupid she is in no time at all.”
I expected for Dakota to come to her defense or to take offense because I called her stupid, but he didn’t.
Once the salad was ready, I added the croutons, and then walked over to the table where I set the bowl on top. Ambling back toward the stove, I grabbed the saucepan’s handle and removed the sauce from the heat, before tossing it over the pasta. Topping it evenly with 1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese; I turned off the stove and hurried back to the table where I placed the pasta filled bowl.
Dakota eyed it appreciatively.
“That really smells amazing,” he said.
“Thanks.” I started for the fridge again. “Do you prefer wine or regular orange juice?”
“After last night, I think I’ll stick to just juice.”
I laughed. “That’s probably a good idea.”
After placing a gallon of orange juice on the table, I grabbed a couple of plates, glasses, and silverware and turned to face the table. I stumbled a bit as one of the glasses slipped and I struggled to keep it from falling on the floor and smashing into many tiny pieces.
Dakota hurried out of his chair and toward me.
“Wait, let me help you.” He took the plates and glasses from me. “I can help set up the table, you know.”
My lips curved up at the ends. “Sorry, I didn’t want to ask considering you just got off work and all.”
“I’m tired, but I’m used to work. I’ve worked all my life. Besides, helping set the table won’t kill me.” He smiled. “Sit, I’ll do this.”
I sat down as he set the table and then filled my dish with pasta before doing the same with his.
“Thanks.” Picking up the fork, I quickly plopped some food into my mouth to taste it, hoping it tasted as good as it looked and smelled. It did.
Dakota filled his mouth with food and groaned appreciatively as he chewed, which I took as a sign that he found the meal as appealing as I did.
“That is pretty damn good,” he commented once he was done chewing and swallowing. “Did your grandmother really teach you how to cook?”
I nodded. “She did.” Taking a moment to eat another mouthful of food, I topped it off with a sip of juice before adding, “When I was growing up, I used to spend my summer vacations in France with my grandmother. She owned and Italian restaurant and let’s just say I spent a lot of time in the kitchen, watching her cook and teach her recipes to me.”
“You’re French?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No. My grandmother moved to France when I was twelve. It was always her dream to live in France and when she finally had enough money to leave she did. But I spent every summer vacation with her.”
Dakota stared at me in what seemed like surprise. “She was a good teacher?”
I grinned. “The best. She was incredibly patient.”
“So, how was it?” he asked as he reached for the glass of orange juice.
“What?”
“Summers in France?” He took a sip of juice before setting the glass back down on the table.
I picked at my food. The memories of those wonderful days by Grammy’s side now but a recollection of the happiest days of my life.
“I loved it there. I loved spending time with Grammy,” I replied with my heart in my hand almost. “Those were some of the happiest memories I have of my childhood.”
“You’re not going back to visit her?” He took another bite of pasta.
I shook my head. “My grandmother passed away five years ago.”
He swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”
I smiled, but even when I couldn’t see my face I knew the gesture did not meet my eyes. “That’s all right.”
Probably sensing the sadness that had taken over me, Dakota opted for changing the subject. “So, how many dishes did you learn how to cook?”
“A lot more than I can count,” I replied. “It was something I used to enjoy.”
He paused, the fork half way to his mouth. “Used to?”
I shrugged. “Well, I stopped doing a lot of things I enjoyed after a while.”
Though I detected he wanted to ask me why, he stopped short of doing so, which I was grateful for. I’d opened myself too much and that made me slightly uncomfortable. One was not supposed to be so comfortable around the person I’d planned to use to make my cheating ex-boyfriend jealous.
“Can I ask you something?” Dakota looked straight at me.
“Yeah, go ahead.” I brought a mouthful of salad to my mouth, chewed, and swallowed as I waited for him to talk.
“You mentioned that Kirk stopped by earlier today, right?”
“He did.” I had no idea what was in his mind, but it was obvious he was working through something.
“Well, if he’s upset over the supposed rumors, haven’t you already gotten what you wanted?” He’d stopped eating and his entire focus was on me.
“What do you mean?”
“You wanted to get back at him. If he’s upset about us, then isn’t that what you were going for?” he asked.
“Oh, I haven’t even begun to torture that jerk,” I stated. “But I think the most important question here is, what do you want Dakota?”
He averted his gaze and stared down at his half empty plate. Sighing heavily, he leaned against the backrest of the chair and finally looked up at me again.
“This is hard for me,” he replied, which was not much of a reply at all.
“Why?”
“I’m not used to playing these teenage games. And this is what this comes across to me.”
“A game?”
“An immature game.”
I couldn’t agree more, but spending time with him was no longer a means to something. I was actually looking forward to knowing more about him.
“I can see why’d you think that, but we were the ones that were played. We’d be getting back at them without actually becoming involved with each other. You don’t have to worry about involving feelings.”
“Feelings are already involved,” he said and I immediately knew what he meant.
“Well, do you still love her?” I pried.
“Love isn’t something that dies overnight,” he said, confirming what I already suspected.
It was my belief that given the right circumstances love could wither and die as quickly as bolt of lightning. Since confirming Kirk’s betrayal, I had been running purely on anger. Hurt had not had time to set fully in and I would not allow it to.
I’d developed a nice defense system that allowed for me to be practically immune to hurt. It was the only way I could fight off pain. The only way I could continue on without dwelling on the past.
“This might be hard for you to understand, but for the past five years Margaret has been everything to me.” He continued, “I have done my best to make her happy, given the best of me to ensure she had no reason to do what she did. She’s the only girl I’ve ever fallen in love with and even though it might seem I’m okay, I’m really not.”
I tried my best to hide the irritation gripping my insides. Hard for me to understand? If he only knew how much exactly I had come to lose over the years. How much I’d been hurt and betrayed. Kirk wasn’t the first person to betray me in the worst possible way.
“Why do you think I wouldn’t understand losing those you love? I have loved too, you know.” And had lost more than I would ever bring myself to forget.
He raised his chin. “You don’t seem remotely upset over losing Kirk. It seems to me you’re acting only out of jealousy, because he cheated on you with someone you would consider beneath you.”
Shocked, I could only sit there and stare at him.
“You said yourself you don’t want him back, so what’s the point of all of this?” He gestured to the half empty plate in front of him. “What’s keeping you from getting on with your life and forgetting he delivered a low blow?”
Hot, scorching rage bubbled up inside of me. He was right about a lot of things, but what pissed me off was that he was assuming too much about me. He knew nothing about me. Nothing at all.
“Look.” I glared at him. “I cooked because I wanted to do something nice for you. There was no hidden intention behind it.” I scampered to my feet, abruptly pushing the chair back as I rose. “You may be good at reading people, but you don’t know anything about me. I am not jealous of Margaret; I have no reason to be. I can get any guy I want.” It did cross my mind that I was just stuffing my close-to-bursting ego, but at that moment I did not care. I was too pissed off to care. “She can have him for all I care. I only wanted to hurt Kirk the same way he hurt me, but it’s not like I can’t move on if I don’t get back at him. Besides, I have my reasons do to what I want and I certainly don’t have to explain myself to you.”
I grabbed for my plate, fully intending to storm toward the kitchen sink with it, but Dakota’s hand snaked out from underneath the table and grabbed a hold of mine, keeping me from moving.
“Did I say I wasn’t going to help you?” he said, his fingers tightly wrapped around my wrist. “Don’t be so defensive.”
“You gave me reason to be defensive.” I glared at him. “What’s with the lecture?” I spat. “You’re getting something out of this too.”
“Sit down.” He released my hand and leaned back again.
Sit down? What, he’s ordering me around now?
Nevertheless, I sat back down on my chair, still glaring.
“You have quite a temper on you,” he commented as he began to eat the rest of his meal as if he’d never riled me up.
“And you are too honest,” I retorted. “It’s annoying. How you can read people that is.”
He spared a glance in my direction. “I can’t read you,” he said. “At least not completely.”
I scoffed. “Weren’t you just pointing out how desperate I am to get payback?” I bit back sarcastically. “You read that quite well.”
Every word oozed sarcasm, but he ignored it all.
He shrugged. “Only because it’s so obvious.”
My mouth dropped open. He was really pushing his luck with me.
“But I also know you’re hiding something.”
I could have sworn my heart stopped beating. “What?”
“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but people like you always have some ulterior motive to do what they do.”
“People like me? What is that supposed to mean exactly?” I began to think that maybe Dakota was a whole lot smarter than I’d pegged him to be. Maybe I’d chosen a partner fully capable of beating me at my own game. That thought scared me.
“People accustomed to getting what they want when they want it, like you, usually have to feel superior to others to compensate for something that’s missing from their lives.”
By damn if he didn’t deserve a noble prize for his ability to read deep into my dark soul.
“I will have you know there is nothing missing from my life,” I lied. “If I chose to get payback, it is because I refuse to be played for a fool. You may be smart, but you’re totally misreading me, Dakota.”
He kept his gaze on me, staring into my eyes as if wishing he could break down the barriers between us and know my deepest, saddest secrets.
“You lie so well I almost believe you,” he responded at last.
“How could you possibly know if I’m lying or not?”
“Because I have had a rough time too. I’ve had to put on a brave face just to get through too. You’re not the only one.”
I pushed my plate aside, already full with the conversation. I folded my arms over my chest and frowned. Watching him closely, I took a sip of juice while I waited for him to continue.
“You know, it almost sounds as if you’re psychoanalyzing me.” I placed the now empty glass of juice on the table and turned my attention back to him.
He smiled. “I’m not.”
“Do you want to dissect my soul and find out what I’m hiding?” I leaned forward in the chair, placing both elbows on top of the table as I gaped at him. “Is that it?”
Fixing his glasses, he released a puff of air before saying, “We all have secrets.”
It was not a valid response. At least not one that clarified what he truly wanted, but I left it at that. Though I was not sure if he was telling me that he, too, had secrets, or simply that he was not judging me, I opted for changing the subject instead.
“So you want to just let destiny take charge and forget we ever met up with the intention of getting something out of our ex’s betrayal?” I asked.
“That would probably be the wise thing to do.”
I nodded. “Of course, but you’re not going to do it.”
He would agree and we both knew it. He needed answers as much as I needed to get back at Kirk. We were in this together.
“We’ll just have to see where things go from here on out.”
He gazed at me for a few minutes without saying a word, and I in turn, gazed back, taking in his Native American features in admiration. Dakota was handsome in his own way. Probably not as striking as the kind of guy that usually caught my eye, but he was not far behind. He was also polite, easy to talk to, and definitely interesting. In other words, he was nothing like I’d imagined him to be. He was everything I had ignored in a guy before—everything I had convinced myself was unattractive in a man.
Now I wasn’t so sure anymore.
Maybe, just maybe, I had chosen the wrong type of guy all along. Maybe I was better suited for a guy who didn’t spend hours caring for his appearance, but for a guy who was a little more sensitive and was more of a decent human being.
“I guess we do,” I replied with a smile.