I WAS AS SURPRISED as everyone else when I heard the police had arrested James and Russell for my husband’s murder. You knew the kind of element they were part of, and of course I was aware of the fact that James had this crush on me. But in my wildest dreams I never believed his jealousy of Larry would lead him to murder. In his perverted brain I guess he actually believed that if Larry were out of the way he’d be able to have me for himself.
Naturally the minute the police had their hands on the boys, they started pointing their fingers at me, saying it was all my idea. I should have guessed they’d do that. The part that shocks me is how the police accepted their assertions as credible. When any idiot could see these boys were troublemakers from the word go.
You’d think it was enough that my husband was brutally murdered, and I had to camp out at my parents’ house like some homeless person, not even able to get my own clothes or my toothbrush. You’d think people would leave you alone after that, or just try and give you a little moral support. Not charge you with being an accomplice to murder.
As for the girl. Lydia. I never mentioned this before, because she’s already got enough problems without adding the embarrassment of this. I mean, I said how she was hung up on James and all. But as a matter of fact, I think the sickness went even deeper for her. I gradually came to understand, from spending time with her, that she had a sexual obsession with me, over and beyond what she felt for him.
Not ever having known someone of that orientation before, it took me a long time to understand. But there was this one day we were at the mall together, when she insisted we go into this store together, Victoria’s Secret, where they sell kinky lingerie. It isn’t exactly the kind of place you bring a woman friend who’s your mentor and big-sister-type friend.
She said she needed to buy some underwear. So she picked out this pair of panties. Red, as I recall. And then later I discovered she’d purchased a present for me there too. A garter belt. She asked me if I’d please put it on sometime, and show her. I just pretended I didn’t understand what she was talking about. But then she tried to kiss me and touch me. After that I decided I simply couldn’t be around her. I don’t have anything against people of that persuasion. It’s just not my cup of tea.
So I told her that. And naturally this made her angry and bitter. So angry she hatched this scheme to try and ruin my life. Which when you get down to it, is pretty pathetic. But then, that’s what pathetic people do, whose own lives are empty and hopeless. They try to go and mess up someone else’s, that isn’t. That guy who shot John Lennon, he’s a perfect example. He thought he’d get to be a big shot himself, just by destroying somebody important. Same thing with Lydia.