I’M NOT WORRIED about myself. I know the truth will eventually be heard, and I’ll be able to put this ridiculous chapter of my life behind me. I’m a fighter. But how do you explain a thing like this to your dog? Nobody ever thinks about people’s pets in a situation like this, but dogs have feelings too. Can you imagine how traumatic it was for Walter, when I was being held in jail? If you want to talk about a crime, I’ll tell you one: Animals have no rights in this country.
I have to do something about my hair. The roots are growing in. It looks unbelievably gross. I mean I’m a natural blonde and all, but I help it along. And now with all this business, I haven’t been able to do a thing with it. I’ve got to pick myself up some L’Oreal.
Looks aren’t everything. But let’s be realistic. When you meet someone, and she’s covered with acne or she weighs three hundred pounds or something, do you feel the same about her as when you meet someone that takes care of herself, and has a pleasant appearance? There’s a saying my mother passed on to my sister and me. “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” I’ll always remember that. I’ve been meaning to cross-stitch it on a sampler or a pillow or something. It’s one of those things that really gets you thinking, you know?
With me for instance. Quite frankly, I know one of the things I have going for me is my appearance. When people see a photograph of a nice looking person in the paper, they’re naturally going to think to themselves, Wait a second. She doesn’t look like the type to get into this kind of trouble. She looks like somebody we’d like to have living next door. I mean, why would a person that has everything going for them do something like they accuse me of? It just wouldn’t make sense.
Of course, there’s always that other element. The bitter ones.
The ones with the acne and the three hundred extra pounds themselves, that always wanted to be a cheerleader or attain some other kind of goal like that, but they never managed to. There used to be girls like that at my high school, and again at college. The kind that’s so jealous, you know they keep hoping you’ll get a pimple or something. Maybe those people are happy now. Which is another reason why it’s important that I continue to look my best, and not let myself go in any way. Just to maintain my dignity.
I’ve got to pick some things out to wear at the trial. I’m a perfect size six, there’s never any need to try anything on, as long as it’s a good-quality label. A couple of little suits, simple yet elegant. Did you see Diane Sawyer’s interview with Maria Maples? I love that kind of shirt she was wearing. And some little gold earrings, to pick up the highlights in my hair. Once I attend to my roots.
Some people say they’re sure to make a movie about this. If so, I’d like to see Julia Roberts play me. Or that actress that just got married to Tom Cruise in real life—I can’t think of her name. I can picture Harrison Ford as my lawyer. Or Mel Gibson. I was thinking they could have Billy Joel do the sound track. I don’t think he’s ever done a movie sound track before, so he’d probably love it.
I’ve started writing a book about this. Just the other day I came up with a good title. Chance of Showers. It would be kind of a play on words, you know, about my being a weather reporter and all. I’d take the profits from my book and establish a fund in Larry’s name for aspiring communications students at Sanders College. My alma mater.
You’ve got to think like that. Keep accentuating the positive. I believe there’s something to be gained from every experience in life. In this case, maybe it’s going to establish my career. Although of course this wasn’t how I’d planned on doing it.
But let’s be honest. Once the trial begins, I’ll be on display in a way. Now I know how people like Madonna and Princess Diana feel. You’ve got to look your best every second. That one moment when you wrinkle your nose or get a piece of spinach stuck on your front teeth or something, you know that’s the moment someone’s going to snap your picture. So you just have to be prepared every second. My video journalism teacher taught me that.
If I were the prosecuting attorney now, I’d get Lydia on a diet. Not that they’d have any luck. I know, because I tried to help her lose some weight myself, and got nowhere. And of course, the assistant prosecutor is not exactly skin and bones herself. Which to me is a sign of a person that simply doesn’t have their life under control. I mean, whose side would you rather be on?