Krishnamurti: If I am a serious man, I want to find out why there are so many conscious as well as unconscious fears. I ask myself why there is this fear, what is the central factor of it? I am trying to show how to investigate. My mind says, I know I am afraid—I am afraid of water, darkness; I am afraid of some person; I am afraid, having told a lie, of being discovered; I want to be tall, beautiful, and I am not, so I am afraid. I am investigating. So I have many fears. I know there are deep fears that I have not even looked at, and there are superficial fears. Now I want to find out about both the hidden and open fears. I want to find out how they exist, how they come into being, what the root of them is.
Now how does one find out? I am going step-by-step into this. How does one find out? I can only find out if the mind sees that to live in fear is not only neurotic, but very, very destructive. The mind must see first that it is neurotic and that therefore neurotic activity will go on and be destructive. And see that a mind that is frightened is never honest, that a mind that is frightened will invent any experience, anything to hold on to. So I must first see clearly and wholly that as long as there is fear there must be misery.
Now, do you see that? That is the first requisite. That is the first truth: As long as there is fear there is darkness, and whatever I do in that darkness is still darkness, is still confusion. Do I see that very clearly, wholly, not partially?
Questioner: One accepts it.
K: There is no acceptance, sir. Do you accept that you live in darkness? All right, accept it and live in it. Wherever you go you are carrying the darkness, so live in the darkness. Be satisfied with it.
Q: There is a higher state.
K: A higher state of darkness?
Q: From darkness to light.
K: You see, again this contradiction. Darkness to light is a contradiction. No sir, please. I am trying to investigate, and you are trying to prevent my showing it to you.
Q: It is analysis.
K: It is not through analysis. Please sir, do listen to what the poor chap has to say. He says, I know, I am aware, I am conscious, that I have many fears, hidden and superficial, physical and psychological. And I know also that as long as I live within that area there must be confusion. And do what I will I cannot clear that confusion until there is freedom from fear. That is obvious. Now that is very clear. Then I say to myself, I see the truth that as long as there is fear I must live in darkness—I may call it light, think I’ll go beyond it, but I still carry on that fear.
Now the next step—not analysis, observation only—is the mind capable of examining? Is my mind capable of examination, observation? Let’s stick to observation. Realizing that as long as fear exists there must be darkness, is my mind capable of observing what that fear is, and the depth of that fear? Now, what does it mean to observe? Can I observe the whole movement of fear, or only part of it? Can the mind observe the whole nature, structure, function, and movement of fear, the whole of it, not just bits of it? By the whole, I mean not wanting to go beyond fear, because then I have a direction, I have a motive. Where there is a motive, there is a direction, so I cannot possibly see the whole. And I cannot possibly observe the whole if there is any kind of desire to go beyond, or to rationalize.
Can I observe without any movement of thought? Do listen to this. If I observe fear through the movement of thought, then it is partial, it is obscured, it is not clear. So can I observe this fear, all of it, without the movement of thought? Don’t jump. We are just observing. We are not analysing, we are just observing this extraordinarily complicated map of fear. If you have any direction when you look at the map of fear, you are only looking at it partially. That’s clear. When you want to go beyond fear, you are not looking at the map. So can you look at the map of fear without any movement of thought? Don’t answer, take time.
That means, can thought end when I am observing? When the mind is observing can thought be silent? Then you will ask me, how is thought to be silent. Right? That’s a wrong question. My concern now is to observe, and that observation is prevented when there is any movement, or flutter, of thought, any wave of thought. So my attention—please listen to this—my attention is given totally to the map and therefore thought doesn’t enter into it. When I am looking at you completely, nothing outside exists. You understand?
So can I look at this map of fear without a wave of thought?