CHAPTER 16
The phone was ringing when I burst into my apartment. The minute I heard it, I hoped it was Zoe, telling me not to be embarrassed because she isn’t a very good bowler, either. Telling me to come back and get my notebook that I had forgotten to pick up. Telling me that Nick was a jerk and I was just the kind of guy she truly admired.
“It’s for you,” Emily said, handing me the phone. “And it’s a girl.”
Yes! It was Zoe! No other girl ever calls me.
“Hi, Zoe,” I said.
“Uh . . . Hank?” said the voice on the other end of the phone. “Sorry to disappoint you, but it’s me, Mr. Rock.”
I looked over at Emily, and she was holding her sides, laughing. Wait until I was off the phone. I was going to get her good. I was going to tell Dad on her the minute he came out of . . . out of wherever he was.
“Mr. Rock,” I said into the phone. “I’m sorry. My sister said you were a girl.”
“Well, your sister needs to take a science lesson,” Mr. Rock laughed.
Emily was still laughing when she walked back to the dining room table where Robert was holding Katherine and trying to feed her one of the parsnip and squash squares they had baked. I figured those stinky squares were probably why our entire apartment smelled like the inside of a rotten-vegetable bin. Katherine hissed at Robert every time he tried to shove an iguana treat near her snout.
“Do you want to talk to me or to my dad?” I asked Mr. Rock. Most of the time, if a teacher calls our house, they’re calling to tell my parents that I messed up on something. So I just figured he was calling for my dad.
“Actually, it’s you I’d like to speak with,” Mr. Rock said. “I was wondering if you had made a decision on whether to continue with Reading Gym.”
“Reading Gym seems like fun, Mr. Rock. Really and truly it does. But I promised Frankie and Ashley that I’d stick with Tae Kwon Do.”
“Are you sure about this decision, Hank?”
“See, I promised Frankie I’d be his sparring partner. He’s counting on me.”
“As I said to you in school, Hank, although I highly recommend the Reading Gym, in the end it’s your choice. If you’re sure of your decision, I’ll go ahead and assign a new partner to Zoe. See you tomorrow, Hank.”
“Wait! Mr. Rock! Did you say I was going to be Zoe’s partner?”
“Yes. She requested you.”
“As in ‘I’d like to work with Hank.’”
“Exactly.”
“She really said that?”
“Yes.”
“Mr. Rock, could you hold on a minute, please?”
I covered up the phone and started to pace. Emily and Robert both stopped their parsnip-squash feeding frenzy and stared at me. Even Katherine took a break from her hissing and focused her bulgy, beady eyes on me. Our dog, Cheerio, ran back and forth with me, staying right in between my legs so that I nearly tripped on him with every step I took.
Everyone, human, reptile, and cute little four-legged furry guy, was feeling my dilemma.
“Tae Kwon Do versus Reading Gym,” I whispered out loud, pacing back and forth.
“If you ask me, reading is pretty important,” Emily said.
Then she did a weird thing. She came over to me and put her hand on my shoulder, in a nice, friendly kind of way. “Plus, you seem to really like Zoe. And it seems like she did request you.”
Was this Emily the Annoying being Emily the Helpful?
Robert came over to me and put his scrawny little hand on my other shoulder. Man, this was getting too weird.
“Love is what makes the world go round, Hank,” he said, looking all gaga-eyed at Emily. Then he got hold of himself and turned back into Super Nerd. “Love and orbital force, of course.”
Cheerio looked up at me and yipped. I don’t speak dog, but I think I saw him smiling with his bottom teeth. Could he be nodding yes?
I put the phone up to my ear.
“Okay, Mr. Rock. I’m in.”
“In what, Hank? I need you to commit.”
“Get out the trampoline and fire up the pummel horse, I’m going to Reading Gym.”
“That’s a good decision, Hank. You’re a smart kid. See you tomorrow.”
He hung up, and suddenly, there I was, with Emily’s hand on one shoulder and Robert’s on the other. That was unacceptable.
“Okay, guys, the love fest is over,” I said. “Besides, Katherine is hissing for you.”
The junior science brigade went back to their parsnip party and Cheerio rolled over for a belly scratch. I think he was proud of me, too. Either that, or his belly just itched.
“By the way, Emily, don’t discuss this with Dad,” I said as I scratched Cheerio.
“Why not? I’m sure he’d rather you learn to read than learn to fight.”
“I have my reasons,” I said.
“Okay,” Emily said. “But this will cost you. You make my bed all week.”
“That’s ridiculous. No deal.”
“Dad!” Emily called out. “Hank has something to tell you.”
A second later, my dad stuck his head out of the kitchen.
“What is it, Hank?” he asked.
Emily looked over at me and smiled.
“Okay, deal,” I said.
“Hank just wanted to tell you that we both think Katherine really likes you,” she said.
“That’s good,” my dad said. “Tell Katherine I like her, too. Now can I go back to my crossword?”
“Sure,” said Emily. “Thanks, Dad.”
Even though I had Emily’s word to keep it a secret, I couldn’t really feel comfortable with my decision until I told Frankie and Ashley that I was dropping out of martial arts. I decided to do it right away, like plunging into a freezing ocean all at once, rather than edging yourself in one inch at a time.
I took the elevator to the basement, where we have our clubhouse in the storeroom next to the laundry. Frankie and Ashley had said they’d be down there practicing some Tae Kwon Do.
I tiptoed by the laundry room, trying my best to avoid running into whatever adult was in there. I find that when adults are folding towels, they get very talkative and like to tell you about how far they walked to school when they were growing up and what their mom used to cook for their special birthday dinners. I don’t know what it is about warm towels. They just bring out memories, I guess.
I thought I was safely past the laundry room door when our neighbor, Mrs. Fink, stuck her head out into the hall. She was in her fluffy pink bathrobe and her fluffy pink matching slippers. That might sound like a weird thing to be wearing at four-thirty in the afternoon, but I understood it. It was a cold February day and personally, I think it’s really fun on a cold day to bundle up in warm pajamas and hang out in a toasty place, which the laundry room certainly was.
“Hank!” she said. “Come in and say hi while I finish folding the towels.”
“Gee, Mrs. Fink, I’d really like to, but Frankie and Ashley are waiting for me and it’s kind of an emergency.”
“Nothing wrong, I hope?”
“Oh, no, it’s not a something’s-wrong kind of emergency, more of a we-have-to-talk kind of emergency.”
“You go on your way, then, darling. And stop by my apartment later for a piece of my apple-cinnamon sugar cake. I remember my mother always made it for my special birthday dinners . . .”
What’d I tell you? It’s the warm towels.
As I headed down the hall, I wondered if someday when I was folding towels and ran into a kid, I’d tell him about how my mom always made me tofu scramble with dandelion greens on special days. Somehow, it didn’t jump out at you like apple-cinnamon sugar cake.
When I walked into the clubhouse, Frankie was sprawled on the big flowered couch, and Ashley was crumpled up in a ball on the floor. They were both wearing their gis.
“This looks more like Tae Kwon Don’t than Tai Kwon Do,” I said.
They both cracked up. At least, Frankie did and I was pretty sure Ashley did because I could see her ponytail shaking as it rested on her back.
Sure, you guys are laughing now, but wait until I fink out on you. Will you be laughing then?
“I’m beat,” Frankie said. “Practicing these moves is hard work. You wait and see.”
Ashley spoke from her curled-up ball. “My arms are sore, my legs are sore, my feet are sore, even my forehead is sore.”
“That’s because Ashweena’s no match for me,” Frankie said. “I need you, Zip, to be a real partner.”
Okay, Hank. You’re on. Open your mouth and let it fly.
“So about that partner thing,” I said. “I think I’m deciding . . . no . . . I’ve for sure decided that I’m not going to do the Tae Kwon Do class. I’m taking Reading Gym instead.”
Ashley uncurled herself from the ball and looked at Frankie. He looked at me, and then back at her. It was very quiet in the clubhouse.
“I know you guys are disappointed,” I said, talking really fast, “but it’s just that I stink at reading and Mr. Rock says that I need practice or . . .”
“Zip,” Frankie said. “Stop.”
“Not another word,” Ashley agreed.
Wow, Hank, they must be really mad at you to not even let you explain.
“I think it’s cool that you’re getting reading help,” Frankie said.
“And I think it’s cool that you found Zoe to share the class with,” Ashley said.
“So you guys aren’t mad at me?” I said softly.
“Not even a little,” Ashley answered.
Frankie gave me a thumbs-up sign. “You got to do what you got to do, Zip.”
“One more thing,” I added. “I’m not telling my dad about the switch. You know how upset he gets when he thinks I need special help. So as far as he knows, we’re all doing Tae Kwon Do together.”
“My lips are sealed,” Frankie said, pretending to zip up his lips.
“Your secret is my secret,” Ashley agreed.
Suddenly, I felt like the luckiest guy in the world. I mean, think of it. I had two best friends who understood me and really and truly wanted what was best for me. I had a hat-wearing drum-playing girl who requested me as her reading partner. I had two matching socks and a new Mets sweatshirt. And I had knocked down a bowling pin without pulling my arm out of its socket.
I sat down with Frankie and Ashley and told them all about my meeting with Zoe. I told them all the things I said to McKelty, and they were so proud of my quick wit, although Frankie did give me a lecture about using an orange swirly ball in public. We laughed until our stomachs hurt.
After a while, Mrs. Fink stuck her head in and gave us all big slices of her apple-cinnamon sugar cake.
Some days just work out perfectly.