CHAPTER 23
I’m telling you, Ashley Wong was dynamite in the ring.
She whizzed around Joelle at lightning speed, spinning and twirling and leaping in the air like a gazelle. (To be honest, I’m not totally sure what a gazelle is, but I’m pretty sure it’s some kind of leaping animal.) I don’t know where she learned those moves, but Ashley had an impressive front kick, a pretty good side kick, a jumping strike, a forward strike, and a reverse strike. In thirty seconds, she must have touched Joelle’s hogu five times.
Joelle was not happy at all. She just stood there in the ring, clutching her hogu to her body with her pretty pink fingernails.
From the sidelines, Nick McKelty was shouting, “Move, Joelle! Let her have it!”
But Joelle didn’t even so much as pick up a foot until she hollered, “I quit!” and stomped out of the ring.
Ashley was smiling like someone in a toothpaste commercial when the match was over. Zoe and I both wanted to stand up and cheer for her, but Principal Love had strictly forbidden it. Instead, I just gave her a huge thumbs-up and Zoe blew her a kiss. You have to admit, that was a pretty cute thing to do.
“This was an excellent display of Tae Kwon Do,” Principal Love said to Ashley. “You show great promise when it comes to promising to become a very promising martial arts type person.”
“Thanks,” Ashley said. “I think.”
“Next we will have a men’s match,” Principal Love said. “Will Frankie Townsend and Nick McKelty please come forward?”
Frankie got up and quietly took his place in the center of the ring. Frankie is very humble about his athletic skills. You never hear him bragging about how great he is. He just gets the job done. Nick McKelty is totally the opposite. All he does is brag, with not much to back it up. As Papa Pete says, he’s all Flash and no Gordon.
As McKelty walked into the ring, he pumped his fists above his head, and took bows as if there were a real crowd cheering for him.
Hey, Nick, I wanted to shout. This isn’t the World Wrestling Federation.
“Let’s hear it for the champ,” he said as he jogged up alongside Frankie. “I’m going to crush you, Townsend.”
Principal Love wasn’t impressed.
“Did you hear my introduction about Tae Kwon Do?” he asked Nick. “We are not here to defeat the enemy, but to defend ourselves.”
“Bring it on,” McKelty said. “I’m totally ready, or as you like to say, I’m totally junbi.”
“Mrs. Crock will help you boys assemble your protective gear,” Principal Love said. He reached into his pocket to pull out a small scorecard and a pencil.
“That cousin of yours is really something,” I whispered to Zoe while Frankie was getting ready.
“I know he can be irritating,” Zoe said, “but inside, he’s just a big softie.”
Actually, I didn’t agree with her at all. I think that inside, Nick McKelty is a big bully. But one of the nice things about Zoe is that she has something good to say about everyone, so I decided not to argue with her about McKelty’s insides.
Mrs. Crock was having a hard time with Nick’s hogu. She had to adjust the straps to make room for his tree trunk of a body.
“Stop wiggling around, Nick,” she said. “And keep your arms still, please.”
Principal Love and the other kids were busy straightening up the floor mats from the first match. As I watched McKelty getting ready, I thought I saw him take something out of his gi pocket and stuff it into his mouth. It looked like a chocolate Ding Dong.
What was he doing eating a Ding Dong at a moment like this? Could he be that hungry? No, not possible.
I decided that I had seen wrong.
“Are you junbi, gentlemen?” Principal Love asked when Mrs. Crock had finished with McKelty’s hogu.
“Yes, sensei,” Frankie said. He bowed his head toward Nick, like you’re supposed to do in the martial arts, to honor your opponent. McKelty didn’t bow, which was so typical of him.
Principal Love blew the whistle, three short blasts, and both guys went into action.
Their styles couldn’t have been more opposite. Frankie was all speed and grace, like a quarterback. McKelty was all power and force, like a linebacker.
It was actually a pretty good match. Frankie jumped in the air and did a spinning kick, touching McKelty’s hogu with the tip of his toes.
Go, Frankie!
“One point for Townsend,” Principal Love said, taking out his pencil to mark the scorecard.
Frankie started to do another spin but McKelty intercepted it by sticking his chunky arm into Frankie’s path. His arm just happened to land on Frankie’s hogu.
“One point for McKelty,” Principal Love said, marking his scorecard.
When he saw that sticking his arm out was working, McKelty did it again. This time, Frankie blocked it. Then he spun around in the air, turned his back on McKelty, and delivered an awesome reverse kick, landing his foot dead center on McKelty’s chest.
“Another point for Townsend,” Principal Love said, looking down at the scorecard he was holding in his hand. It looked like his pencil point broke, and he reached into his gi pocket for another pencil. Zoe looked over at Ashley and they gave each other a big smile. They were both enjoying the match.
That’s how, in the split second when no one was looking, I saw something that no one else in the gym saw.
McKelty got right in Frankie’s face and opened his mouth really wide, showing his tongue covered with goopy, half-chewed chocolate Ding Dong. Frankie couldn’t believe what he was seeing. It was completely unexpected. I mean, who does that kind of thing during a martial arts competition?
For a second, Frankie just stood there, staring into McKelty’s yucky mouth.
It was only a second, but one that McKelty used to his advantage. He reached out and threw a strike at Frankie’s hogu, and when Frankie spun around to block it, McKelty stuck his foot out and tripped him.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Frankie flew into the air, then landed with a thud on the mat. He was down!
“Two points for McKelty,” Principal Love said, looking up from his scorecard. “One for the touch, one for the fall. That’s three points to one. Match to McKelty.”
I was on my feet in no time.
“Hey, that’s not fair!” I hollered.
“Mr. Zipzer,” Principal Love said, “I appreciate your loyalty to your friend, but as you can see, Mr. McKelty just scored one point for the strike and one point for the takedown, bringing his score to a match-winning three.”
“But McKelty tricked him!” I said.
“He didn’t do anything,” Zoe whispered to me.
“Are you making an accusation, Mr. Zipzer?” Principal Love asked.
“You bet I am! McKelty made Frankie look at his chocolaty disgusting Ding-Donged-up tongue!”
“Hank,” Zoe said. “What are you talking about?”
“Check it out for yourself,” I said. “Go ahead, McKelty. Show them what’s in your mouth.”
“Nothing,” McKelty said. “I got nothing in my mouth. Where would I get a Ding Dong here in the gym, anyway?”
McKelty opened his mouth. I couldn’t believe it. He had swallowed the whole chocolaty mess, and now there was no sign of it.
“But I saw you pop in that Ding Dong,” I said. “Didn’t anyone else see that?”
No one answered, but I could see Zoe looking at me like I had lost my mind.
“I saw it,” Frankie said.
“Of course, you’ll say anything,” McKelty said to him, “just to win.”
That did it for me. Frankie Townsend was no cheater.
“There’s got to be a wrapper in there,” I said, pointing to McKelty’s gi pocket. McKelty reached down and turned his pockets inside out. There was nothing in there.
“What about in his backpack?”
“Mr. Zipzer,” Principal Love said. “I’m going to have to demand that you sit down. Mr. McKelty won the match fair and square. Besides, as I said before, this is not about winning and losing. This is about discipline, and you are showing a tremendous lack of discipline.”
“And you’re behaving like a real jerk,” Zoe whispered to me.
“It’s not fair,” I repeated.
“Since you persist with this line of accusation, I’m afraid I have to ask you to leave the gym right now,” Principal Love said.
“You cheated,” I said to McKelty.
“You’re a sore loser,” McKelty answered.
Frankie wasn’t saying anything. I think he knew that arguing would just make him look like a sore loser, too.
“Fine,” I said. “I’m leaving. Come on, Zoe. Let’s go.”
I got up to go, but Zoe didn’t.
“Come on, Zoe. Let’s go back to Reading Gym. Aren’t you coming?”
“No, Hank. I’m not,” she said.
It was then I noticed that Zoe had tears in her eyes.