Asher lost everything in one day—his sisters, his mom and dad, his farm, his home. His whole life burnt to the ground. He hadn’t spoken a word in three days now. Worse, he wouldn’t even look at me.
I didn’t know what to do. I stumbled around the small basement, trying to give him space that didn’t exist. Dad didn’t want any of us leaving the safe room—not even to let Duke out. He’d have to take care of his business on his own and paw at the door when he was ready to come back in.
I followed Dad to the door as he snuck out for his daily assessment of the grounds. From the crack in the door, I could just make out the huge gaping hole on the second floor of our home. I hadn’t been outside to see more of the damage. The angels now made daily visits, flying just over the top of the roof. Night was even worst. The constant flutter of ginormous wings consumed my days and plagued my nightmares.
Ash sat at the table, chewing on a strip of beef jerky. He donned the same blank mask he’d been wearing since the day he came back from his destroyed home three days ago.
Guilt swirled in my belly, tossing and turning like a ship on a stormy sea. I couldn’t let him keep suffering alone.
With Dad outside and Mom in the bathroom, we’d have some semblance of privacy. Now was my chance. I marched over and sat beside him, yanking the jerky out of his hand. “You need to talk to me, Ash. Please. I’m here for you.” I fixed my gaze to his, refusing to let him squirm away.
He shook his head and raked his hand over his weary face. “I can’t.”
“I know this is horrible. No—I don’t know. I have no idea what you’re going through because you won’t let me in. I can’t imagine how awful this must be for you but shutting me out isn’t the answer.”
“You don’t get it,” he muttered.
“Don’t get what?” I scooted closer, pleased I’d made some sort of progress.
“I should’ve been there.” He paused and swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bouncing wildly. “I would’ve been there if it hadn’t been for you.”
My neck snapped back as if he’d actually slapped me. All the air evaporated from my lungs as I absorbed the look of hatred in his eyes. The day of the attack flitted through my mind like a movie reel. I’d stopped him from going home. He had stayed to play another game of Monopoly with me.
“Ash—” My throat felt like it was coated in sawdust.
He raised his hand and shook his head again. “Just don’t.”
“You blame me for not being there with them?”
He clenched his fists at his sides, and I waited with baited breath for him to punch the table or the nearest inanimate object. Hopefully not me. “I should’ve been there,” he gritted out through his teeth.
“You would’ve been dead!” I leapt out of my seat, glaring down at him. How could he be so stupid?
“Maybe I should’ve been!” He pounded his fist against the makeshift table, and it toppled over with a crash. “They were my family. As messed up as things were sometimes, they were all I had. I should’ve been there.”
“No…” Tears streamed down my face now, and there was no stopping them. “You still have me and my parents. We need you, Ash. I’m so sorry you lost everything, but please… If I’d lost you too, I wouldn’t have survived.”
He just kept shaking his head, refusing to meet my eyes.
I threaded my fingers through my hair, pulling at the ends. An unladylike grunt bubbled to the surface. How had this happened? How was our world being ravaged by vampires and angels? How was my best friend mad at me because he didn’t die?
“Ash, please.” I knelt down in front of him, squeezing his clenched fists.
He diverted his gaze out the window, and a deep crack etched across my heart.
“I’m so sorry, Ash.”
The bathroom door creaked open and I jumped up to my feet, wiping the tears from my cheeks. Mom stepped out without giving either of us a second glance. She tightened the tie of her bathrobe and slipped back onto the cot. My mom no longer existed—we’d only been left with her empty shell.
I convinced myself it was better that way. Maybe she couldn’t feel what the rest of us had to endure and selfishly, it would hurt less when I lost her. Because somehow I knew I would. I’d lose all of them.
And I was right.