| |
1
FOR THE REST OF July, my nights were filled with Suzy, and I became more and more uncomfortable about the fact that I would never be able to bring her back to my place. By the end of the month, she was dropping excessive hints and I decided I had to develop some kind of a plan to salvage the relationship. It was coincidentally also around that time that I started wondering what I should do to wrap up the relationship at the end of the summer.
I had been naive and caught up in the idea that I was back in the time of my childhood, so I think I forgot that I wasn’t a child and I wasn’t dating a child. I had pursued the relationship like a summer fling that would naturally end with tears and a parting “Let’s try to stay in touch during the school year.” The odds of her agreeing to go our separate ways at the conclusion of camp seemed slimmer by the day.
You know what? I’ll get to that part of my story a little later. It’s complicated to tell and it’s hard for me but it is important. I want to keep this thing in some kind of order though, and that means telling you about the daytimes in July in which I focused on Danny and his quest for young love. After all, I was burning the candle of time at both ends and you should hear about both of them. So okay, back to the camp.
One day a week or so after Independence Day, I saw Peter the groundskeeper (still don’t know the right term for that job) playing with his son in the soccer field after the camp day ended. I’d seen him many times by that point, which is not surprising considering the guy lived there. I had avoided any interaction with him because of the conversation between the two of us in 2013. I was afraid that if he knew me in 1993 I might trigger recognition when I met him again in twenty years. Our conversation had been so important in my deciding to travel back to begin with and I didn’t want to risk that. I still just didn’t really understand how it all worked.
On that day, though, I got caught watching Peter and Charlie playing and the little boy waved at me. His father waved too. What could I do? I walked over to them.
“How’s it going,” Peter asked.
“Fine, thanks.” I stuck out my hand. “Justin Bieber.”
He laughed. It was familiar, but not as raspy as the laugh I’d heard from him not all the long before. “Yeah, man, I know who you are. Got all the ladies in the kitchen all excited about you. They are jealous as hell that you’re with Suzy Bailey.”
We shook hands and I laughed in return. “My reputation precedes me. Nice.”
“What are you doing hanging around at this hour?” he asked.
“What can I say, I like it here.”
“Fair enough, my man. I like it here too, as you might have guessed. This here’s Charlie. Hey, Charlie, say hi to Justin.”
The young man waved again and I did the same. I decided to take a gamble. “Is Charlie your only kid, Peter?”
I expected him to wince or something, but he didn’t react too strongly. Whatever pain was lodged so deeply in his heart in 2013 hadn’t really taken root yet.
“Nah, I’ve got a girl a good bit older than Charlie. Her name’s Jane. She’s off CIT’ing at sleepaway camp down in Maryland. Got herself some kind of scholarship thing.”
“She must be pretty smart.”
“Oh yeah, she is. Hell of a lot smarter than her old man. Takes after her mom.” On that, I saw the flash of emotional pain I’d anticipated.
“Your wife? Is she—“
“Dead,” he said. He pointed at Charlie who had gone back to kicking a ball. “Right after Charlie turned two.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Ah, man, that’s life, right?”
“So Jane, she reminds you of her mom?”
He nodded. “Oh sure, in so many ways.” He paused. “I’m embarrassed to say it but I think I pull away from her a little bit because it’s too painful to feel that reminder.”
I had known when I spoke to the older Peter that there was more behind his distance from his daughter than not seeing eye-to-eye. It took traveling decades back in time to learn the truth.
“I think, if you don’t mind my saying, that you can’t let that get in the way.” I expected him to get angry but he didn’t. Just looked sad. I continued. “I think your daughter needs her dad and in time you’ll probably come to cherish the reminder of your wife. Then again, it’s none of my business.”
“No,” he said, “no, you’re right. I’ll try to keep that in mind. Anyhow, I should get back to the little guy. Nice meeting you, Justin.”
We parted, leaving me wondering if I’d helped anything at all.
2
With that awkward handshake in the second week of camp, I committed myself to finding Danny a girlfriend. I knew enough about kids to understand that it was more complicated than my general advice to “broaden one’s horizons.” True, there were definitely great girls that he wasn’t paying any attention to, but some of them might not meet the standards of Danny’s friends. Kids couldn’t help but give in to that shit. Teenaged couples throughout history loved to flip the bird at their disapproving parents and do whatever they want, but if friends frowned on the relationship it just wasn’t going to happen.
I didn’t think I could get Danny new friends, not within the confines of Shady Pines, anyway. He already got along well enough with everybody for a shy kid. So that meant I had to find him a girl who wasn’t incredibly popular, who didn’t already have her head overinflated by the attention of every guy of the proper age and a few of improper age. And she had to be pretty enough that Danny’s friends would give a casual thumbs up. Shallow and shitty, I know, but this is how kids operated then, and I’m pretty sure it’s how they will operate for the rest of eternity. I may be able to change time itself but basic human nature, especially that of the youngest humans, is beyond even my reaches.
I used my one class a week with the eleven and twelve year old girls as well as some of my limited free time to take stock of the contenders. It felt like a creepy thing to do, and it probably was. What could I say? “The pre-teen isn’t for me, officer, it’s for my younger version!” Fortunately, I was familiar with all these girls and it wasn’t long before I found the perfect option. Her name was Jamie. She was actually thirteen, so I’m not quite sure how she got into the bunk. She was very tall, with long curly hair, and though she was pretty she was incredibly uncomfortable about her appearance. It’s something I picked up on easily, but I knew Danny had never noticed.
“Uncomfortable?” he asked when I presented my findings to him while sitting on the outdoor drama stage one afternoon. “Jamie’s not uncomfortable.”
“Danny, man, I’m telling you she’s completely awkward. She probably thinks she looks like a big goof compared to the other little girls.”
He frowned. “I don’t know. Let’s say I believe you. How does that help me?”
The relaxed tone he used made me smile. I had never been that comfortable with adults at his age... I mean, when I was him. I was proud of him and thrilled with myself that he had a rapport with me. It seemed to me that something had changed in his behavior. I had crossed the chasm that no adult had been able to previously, or perhaps nobody had ever tried hard enough. Danny’s confidence was blossoming and I was excited for him and pleased with my accomplishment.
“It helps you,” I said, “because once you understand that a girl is as insecure as you, once you really get that into your head, you won’t see her as someone so intimidating that your tongue gets into knots around her. Make sense?”
“Yeah, sure. So what do you want me to do?”
“Talk to her.”
His face wrinkled with concern. I hated that I had once been like that. There were still parts of that personality inside me and it frustrated me to no end. “Talk to her alone?” he asked.
“Good question. I think try to make some conversation in a group setting. Just talk to all the girls but focus on her... but don’t stare at her! That’s just creepy.”
“Focus, but don’t stare. Got it.”
“Right. Just focus a little. Don’t want to seem like you’re too interested. She should think you’re just as likely to be interested in her friends. And she will think that because she’s—”
“Insecure. Right.” He scratched his head. “Do I really have to play all these games?”
“You don’t have to but it’s the only way I know. Sucks, doesn’t it?”
“Yup.”
“But the good news is that if you listen to me you will up your game tremendously.”
“My game?”
I laughed. “Your game...your way with women. You know? Anyhow, I’m not going to guarantee you’ll win Jamie over but you never know what other girls you might be impressing along the way.”
“But, how do I talk to her?”
This led to a ten minute lecture where I tried to explain flirting, that psychotic language shared between horny men and women that involves walking the fine line between teasing and insulting. Took me a long time to get that right as I grew up, but now here I was jumping the gun for myself by several years.
“Does any of that make sense?” I asked.
“It’s a lot to think about,” he said, “but I guess I’ve got it.”
“So... you’ll give this thing a shot? You’ll talk to Jamie?”
He shrugged. “Yeah,” he said with a small smile. “Why not?”