Chapter 15

 

I woke up early, as usual, and listened to the sounds of the African plains coming to life. Birds sang their early morning chorus, and in the distance I could hear elephants trumpeting in the new day.

Our first Christmas Day in Kenya. Another Christmas without Mum.

I stared at her photo, thinking about how she’d always left a stocking outside my door with little knick-knacky presents in it. Hair clips, nuts, socks, a book, a satsuma. I still thought about her every day and talked to her constantly in my head. I wondered what she’d think of me now. I’d thought I was doing something worthwhile with Asha, but I still had the ability to ruin everything and mess up people’s lives. They weren’t little things, either; inconsequential mistakes that didn’t hurt anyone. When I stuffed up, I did it in style. Mum’s death just proved that, and now people cancelling their holidays with the reserve after that horrible story had run just confirmed it.

I rolled onto my side and stared through the window, not wanting to get out of bed. Maybe I could just stay here all day with the covers pulled over my head. Would anyone even notice? It wasn’t like I was much good for anything, was I?

Dad knocked on my door a while later. ‘Happy Christmas, sweetheart. I’ve brought you some tea.’ He opened the door, his eyebrows pinching together when he saw my face. Putting the mug down on the bedside table, he sat on the bed next to me. ‘Come on, get up. Asha needs feeding.’

‘I still miss her,’ I said, staring at the steam coming off the mug.

He reached out and squeezed my shoulder. ‘Me, too. Every day. But it’s important to think about all the time we did have together. Some people don’t even get that. Just because she’s not here anymore, doesn’t mean she’s not with you. She’s in our hearts, and nothing and no one can change that. She’d be really proud of you, you know.’

I snorted. ‘How do you work that out?’

‘Since we got here, I’ve seen you blossoming for the first time since the accident. Whether you believe it or not, I can tell you that you’ve grown into a strong young lady.’

I gave him a disbelieving look.

‘You’ve had a rough time of it. We both have. There will always be setbacks and knocks in life, you can’t control that, and you can’t be responsible for everything that happens. I don’t know many sixteen-year-olds who are doing what you’re doing with such passion.’ He smiled softly and stood up. ‘Yes, it’s Christmas Day, and it’s not the same without your mum, but Asha still needs feeding and walking, I’ve still got animals to care for, and you still have to get out of bed. Life has to go on.’

Groaning, I sat up and drank my tea as Dad left me to get dressed.

When I went outside to Asha’s enclosure, she was hiding in one of the thickets, and I knew she was about to ambush me, which was something she’d started doing on a regular basis.

I opened the door and stepped inside, pretending I hadn’t seen her bum and tail sticking out of the other side of the bush as I walked slowly past. I knew when she was about to pounce because her tail always twitched slightly.

I could feel her eyes on me and watched her rear end closely. When her tail twitched, I jumped out of reach, laughing.

She didn’t let me get one over on her, though, deciding to launch herself onto me with excitement. She didn’t know her own strength anymore and knocked me to the ground. Within seconds we were rolling about, playing, and I felt my mood lift slightly. Her trusting nature and energetic personality had the ability to make everything seem brighter. Maybe Dad was right. Maybe Mum would’ve been proud of me.

I grabbed her tail and gave it a gentle tug, quickly moving my hand away before she could swat me with her paw. It kept her entertained for hours, and eventually, when we were both worn out, I said, ‘I bet you want your breakfast, don’t you?’ I sat up, covered in dust, and hugged her towards me. She licked my arm in reply.

Zach walked up to the enclosure with a smile on his face. ‘Happy Christmas.’

I mustered up a feeble smile. ‘Happy Christmas.’

‘And how are you two girls doing?’

‘OK, I suppose.’

‘I thought we could give Asha a Christmas present,’ he said, holding up a small gazelle carcass.

I pulled a face at it. I still hated giving her carcasses.

‘You’re so lazy that you don’t run fast enough to give her any challenge to catch her dinner, so we need to attach it to the Land Rover and get her to chase it.’ He grinned.

I narrowed my eyes at him. ‘I’m not lazy!’

‘Well, prove it, then. Stop playing around and let’s do some real work with her.’

I stood up, dusted myself off, and then slipped out of the door before Asha could follow me. If she saw the carcass she’d be scoffing it down before we had the chance to teach her anything.

While Zach lifted the dead animal onto a tarpaulin on the back of the Land Rover, I went inside to fetch some drinks and put them in a cool box. When the carcass was carefully wrapped up, I let Asha out and got into the passenger seat. She jumped in on top of me, but she was now so big that I ended up squirming out of the way and was perched on a tiny edge of it while she had the rest, sitting up like a queen of the manor, watching the world pass by with interest.

We drove for half an hour, and as we pulled round a corner of thick bush a huge bull elephant stood in the middle of the track, his looming body blocking the way.

Zach skidded to a halt.

The elephant stared at us menacingly, flapping his ears and swinging his trunk.

I felt Asha’s muscles tense in the seat next to me.

‘Shit.’ Zach put the Land Rover in reverse. ‘That’s Mr Grumpy and he’s in musth, which means he’s looking to mate. They’ve got so much testosterone flying through their body, they’re unpredictable and dangerous. They’ve only got one thing on their minds, and that’s the females.’ He slowly eased the Land Rover backwards. ‘He’s pretty grumpy at the best of times, which is why we called him that, but he’ll be even worse now. I don’t want to move too suddenly, it might set him off.’

I kept my eyes on the bull as the Land Rover rolled back. Mr Grumpy lowered his head, lifted up a front leg, and barrelled forwards.

My stomach rose to my throat. ‘He’s charging us!’

Zach pushed the accelerator harder and the Land Rover lurched backwards.

Mr Grumpy’s huge, hulking body stopped suddenly and he raised his trunk in the air with an angry trumpeting sound.

‘It’s a mock charge.’ Zach swung the Land Rover around.’ He just wants us out of his way so he can find the females.’

Mr Grumpy swayed backwards, as if giving himself enough room to charge forward again.

‘Well get out of the way, then!’ I cried.

‘I’m trying!’ Zach floored the Land Rover in the direction we’d just come, and I stared at Mr Grumpy over my shoulder.

My hand flew to my chest. ‘He’s stopped, thank God. He’s just watching us now.’

Zach shook his head. ‘If he’d really wanted to charge us, we’d just be like a little Tonka Toy in this thing.’ He exhaled a huge breath of relief.

‘That was really close!’

‘You could’ve fired a warning shot in the air as I was driving,’ Zach said.

‘Well, why didn’t you tell me?’

‘I’m not always going to be around to tell you everything. Sometimes out here you’re going to have to learn to use your initiative. Anyway, I was too busy driving.’ He grinned as the relief hit us.

‘I think it’s kind of romantic that he’s prepared to do anything to get a girlfriend,’ I said.

‘Yeah, as long as he doesn’t kill us in the process.’ Zach raised an eyebrow and drove on until we headed down a dirt track in between long grasses and had to stop to let a large African rock python slither across the path, going leisurely about its day. Out of the long grasses a cheetah poked its head out and looked at us.

‘That’s Kimani,’ Zach said quietly. ‘She was found by some farmers as an orphan and re-wilded by the Cheetah Conservation Organization and released here a couple of years ago. She loves coming up to the Land Rovers, and she’s a real favourite with the guests.’

We watched as she began to approach the Land Rover then stopped when she spotted Asha.

Asha watched her warily, eyes alert, fidgeting in the seat and trying to work out whether to be scared, jump out and play, or go on the defensive.

‘It’s OK, Asha.’ I held her collar firmly as she struggled to clamber over me and escape through the open window.

Kimani stared warily at Asha, her body frozen.

‘Amazing, isn’t she?’ Zach nodded at Kimani. ‘If Asha wasn’t here, she’d be rubbing herself against the Land Rover, and sometimes she even jumps up on the bonnet.’

Asha made a low sound in her throat, struggling to get away from my tight grip on her collar.

Kimani bolted back into the grass.

‘That will be you one day, Asha.’ I kissed the top of her head. ‘Living out here all the time, patrolling your kingdom.’

We eventually parked at a secluded spot and Zach jumped out and tied the gazelle to the tow bar with a thick piece of rope. ‘OK, let her out now,’ he called. ‘Make sure she sees the meat and then hop back in and I’ll take off.’

Asha was already dying to get out. Her head bobbed up and down and she made excited mewing sounds. Her ears flicked, taking in all the sounds of the bush. As soon as I opened my door she jumped down and looked around her, head upturned, opening her mouth to scent the air.

‘Look, Asha.’ I walked to the back of the Land Rover and she spotted her dinner. Immediately, she went for it, and I ran around and jumped in the passenger seat. ‘Go,’ I yelled.

Zach drove off as I twisted in the seat to watch Asha. She stared at us with big, worried amber eyes, like we were leaving her there forever.

‘Come on, Asha, chase it!’ I called out the window.

That was the encouragement she needed and she was off, chasing the kill like she’d never been fed.

‘It’s working. She’s chasing it.’ I grinned at Zach, who was busy staring in front of him, trying to avoid too many bumps in the track.

‘I’ve got to get this on film next time,’ he breathed with excitement. ‘This is fantastic. If we get her used to chasing her food, she should be able to chase live prey.’

As I watched her sprint closer to the gazelle, her hunting instinct must’ve taken over and she pounced on top of it, claws dug in for dear life, riding on top of the carcass.

‘Stop!’ I told Zach breathlessly. ‘She’s got it.’

He screeched to a halt.

Panting away, Asha had the dead animal by the throat in a choke hold. After a few minutes, she lifted her head up and looked at me through the rear window, as if to say, Did I do good?

‘That was amazing.’ I threw my arms around Zach’s neck, caught up in the spirit of celebration. ‘She did it. I can’t believe it. She did it. Did you see how she got it round the throat? I think she’s going to be a natural hunter.’

He pulled back to arm’s length and grinned back. ‘I bet you don’t get a Christmas present like that every day, eh?’

‘Thank you,’ I sang happily, turning round again to watch Asha feeding with relish, making low mumbling sounds as she ate.

‘Are you coming up to the kitchen for Christmas dinner later?’ Zach asked me. ‘I’ve got a present for you.’

‘Where did you get a present from out here? It’s not exactly Oxford Street.’ I smiled, feeling a little excited.

A present? For me? We were in the middle of the African bush. What on earth could he have got me? And it wasn’t like I’d been thinking about presents, either. I just wanted to forget it was Christmas, but that was pretty hard to do because Richard and Jenna had gone overboard at the lodge, decorating a huge tree and playing Christmas carols for the guests who were staying during the festive period.

He tapped his nose and raised his eyebrow. ‘You’ll have to come to dinner and you’ll find out.’

‘But I can’t go over there. Richard and Jenna must hate me after that article in the paper.’ I’d been keeping an even lower profile than usual since Rebecca’s horrible story broke, and I hadn’t been up to the lodge in the last few weeks, afraid of what they would think of me.

‘They don’t hate you. It’s not your fault that Rebecca manipulated what you said. And anyway, Kilingi has a good enough reputation to bounce back. Bookings are up for next year now.’

‘I don’t know,’ I said, my thoughts drifting back to Mum. ‘I don’t feel up to a party.’

‘It’s not a party. It’s just a group of friends and co-workers eating lunch. No big deal.’ He shrugged. ‘And the present will be worth it.’ He bumped his shoulder against mine.

‘OK,’ I agreed reluctantly.

 

****

 

Later that afternoon I showered and changed into a black sundress. If we were going to have Christmas dinner, I thought I may as well try and get dressed in something other than my usual shorts and T-shirt. As I met Dad in the hall emerging from his bedroom, my breath caught in my throat. It didn’t feel right celebrating. For one thing, Mum wasn’t with us, and for another, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Jenna and Richard wouldn’t really want me there. Not that they’d ever been anything less than warm and friendly to me, but how could they not blame me for that article, despite what Zach said?

But when I saw my sadness reflected on Dad’s face, I realised I had to go for him. He’d been working so hard, and even though he always put on a brave face for me, I knew he was still missing Mum deeply. He should be surrounded by his friends and what was left of his family without having to worry about how I was feeling.

He took hold of my hand and squeezed it. ‘Ready?’

I nodded.

We slipped in the back door of the kitchen and some of the rangers and anti-poaching patrols were already there, enjoying a cold beer. Everyone called out Christmas greetings as Chef prepared steaming pots of vegetables, and the smell of roasting turkey made my stomach rumble.

Jenna enveloped me in a big hug. ‘Lovely to see you, Jazz.’

‘I’m really sorry about that—’ I started, but she cut me off with a wave of her hand.

‘Now, don’t you go worrying about that. We know it wasn’t your fault. And anyway,’ she raised an eyebrow, ‘what goes around, comes around. That Rebecca Swanson will get her comeuppance one day.’ She let me go and kissed Dad on the cheek.

‘Where’s Bobo?’ I asked.

‘She’s having a nap. She’s been pigging out on bananas all day.’ She chuckled.

‘Happy Christmas.’ Richard handed Dad a bottle of beer, which he took and chinked the glass against Richard’s half empty one.

‘Want a beer?’ Richard said to me.

‘I think she’s old enough for a couple.’ Dad winked at me. ‘It is Christmas, after all.’

‘Be right back,’ Richard said.

I wandered away from everyone, over to Chef. ‘It smells lovely. Can I do anything to help?’

He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the edges. ‘It’s roast leopard.’ He cackled at the joke he thought was funny.

I poked him on the arm. ‘Hey, that’s not funny.’

‘I thought it was.’ He shrugged with his huge permanent grin plastered all over his face. ‘Can you pass me those bowls? I’m about to serve everything up. Then I have to do it all again later for the guests. I never want to see another sprout in my life!’ He shook his head good-naturedly and drained a pan of sprouts. ‘Maybe the guests will like roast leopard,’ he muttered.

I gave him a fake glare and helped dish up the vegetables and carry them to the long table as Zach appeared, freshly showered and shaven and dressed in faded jeans and a white shirt that set off his bronzed skin and jet black hair.

As he glanced at me and smiled, my insides tingled. Maybe it was the effects of the beer.

We all helped ourselves to food and I sat back, chewing slowly and watching everyone chat in an easy conversation, remembering the time I’d eaten here when we first arrived and had gone running out. So much had happened since then, and even though I still desperately wished Mum was sitting here with us, I was actually starting to feel glad to be in that steamy kitchen, watching them all enjoying being with each other.

‘OK, I’ve got a big announcement to make.’ Richard looked round the table. ‘We’ve finally got the go ahead for the rhino release.’

‘Really? When?’ Dad looked up, all ears.

‘I’m not sure yet, but I’ll let you know as soon as all the details get finalised.’

‘What’s this?’ I asked Dad

Dad rested his knife and fork on his plate. ‘There are some black rhino in a game reserve in South Africa that are being relocated here for a breeding programme. There are only around three and a half thousand black rhino left in the world now. In the sixties there were seventy thousand.’ He shook his head sadly. ‘We’re hoping this programme can help to increase the numbers.’

‘Three and a half thousand?’ I balked at the low numbers. The more time I spent here, the more I realised how sad it was what humans were capable of doing to wild animals.

‘Thousands of rhinos have been killed, and subspecies have been hunted to extinction.’ Richard shook his head. ‘At least one rhino is killed every day in Africa by poachers, and the numbers are increasing every year.’

‘The breeding programme is the best Christmas present I could’ve asked for, and I think that calls for a toast, don’t you?’ Dad tapped his spoon against his beer bottle and held it up in the air. ‘To the rhino breeding programme.’

We all held our bottles in the air.

After dinner, I helped Jenna and Chef clear the tables and load up the industrial-sized dishwasher. I turned around to find Zach behind me.

‘How about I give you your Christmas present now.’ He held out a gift about the size of a book, wrapped up in decorative paper.

‘Is it a book?’ I took it. ‘I need a new one. I have to make do with whatever the guests leave behind.’

His eyes glinted with mischief. ‘Open it and find out.’

I unwrapped the paper. It was a photograph in a wooden frame of Asha and me that he must’ve taken when I wasn’t looking. I was sitting on a mound of rocks, facing away from the camera, and Asha sat in front of me as I stroked her neck. It was so heartfelt and simple. A million times better than a new pair of shoes or the latest mobile phone that I would’ve wanted in a previous life.

‘It’s amazing. I love it. It’s the best present I think I’ve ever had. Thanks so much.’ I smiled.

He glanced above me and pointed up. ‘You’re standing under the mistletoe.’

I felt that warm tingling sensation as his eyes settled on my lips, and this time I knew it wasn’t the beer. Was he really thinking of kissing me?

I stared into his topaz eyes, trying to read his thoughts. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted it so badly.

‘When are you going to see Kira next?’ Richard shouted to Zach from the other side of the room.

Zach turned his head and said, ‘Tomorrow. I need to wish her Happy Christmas.’

‘Good.’ Richard nodded. ‘I’ve got some medical supplies to take to Mumbi Reserve. You can drop them off at the same time.’

When Zach turned back to me my stomach lurched. He had Kira, and I knew the only reason he would ever try to kiss me would be out of pity. That was the last thing I wanted.

I mumbled something about going to check on Asha, so he wouldn’t see the disappointment etched on my face, and slipped out of the door, leaving them all to their celebrations. I got Asha out of her enclosure and played with her for a while before lying in the hammock, my thoughts filled with pictures of Zach and Kira kissing that I couldn’t get out of my head. Asha lay at my feet, playing with a rubber ball. If it bounced away from her, she’d stalk it, belly skimming the ground, like it might run away. It was amazing how from such an early age she knew to do it instinctively. Then she’d pounce on it and act surprised all over again when it rolled out of her reach and she couldn’t chew on it.

The ball rolled off down the steps. She got up to follow it and stopped abruptly, her hackles going up and her ears pricked and alert.

‘What’s the matter, Asha?’ I rolled out of the hammock and walked towards her, hoping Zach hadn’t come to check on me. What if he’d seen from my face how much I’d wanted to kiss him? How desperate and sad would that be?

I saw a dark-haired man in a khaki shirt and shorts outside, peering into Asha’s enclosure from different angles.

I watched him for a while to see what he was doing before I pressed the flat palm of my hand to Asha’s face, which was my sign to get her to stay where she was. I didn’t have my hat nearby to try and shield my face, but at that moment, I didn’t care. He looked pretty suspicious to me. There was no reason for him to be anywhere near her enclosure.

I walked down the steps. ‘I’m sorry, but the guests aren’t allowed back here.’ I said, hoping he wasn’t another reporter sniffing around.

He turned to me with a smile that seemed more smarmy than happy. His eyes briefly widened at the sight of me, but he recovered quickly, the smile never dropping from his face. ‘I heard you had a leopard here that you’ve been training.’

I stared at him. ‘Are you staying at the lodge?’

‘Yes.’ He looked around him. ‘My first visit here. Lovely place, this, isn’t it?’

‘You’ll have to go back to the lodge, I’m afraid.’ I crossed my arms. ‘We don’t allow guests in this part of the reserve.’

‘How is the leopard?’ He raised a questioning eyebrow.

I didn’t answer.

‘I’ve got a client who is crying out for a well-trained leopard for his circus. They’re willing to offer you a very substantial sum of money for it.’

My cheeks flushed with anger. ‘She will never be sold to a circus, or a zoo,’ I spat. ‘Now please leave.’

‘I think you’d better do as she says.’ Zach had appeared behind me, his usually calm voice was edged with anger. ‘We have no animals for sale here.’

The man gave me another sickly smile. ‘Everything is for sale, if the price is right.’

‘I’ll escort you back to the lodge.’ Zach gave him a look that said he’d better follow him.

I watched them leave and went back to Asha, stroking her in reassurance that everything was OK.

Zach returned a little later with a thunderous look on his face. ‘I can’t believe the nerve of that guy. He booked into the lodge on the pretence of being a guest, but he was really just some scout for a circus. We’ve told him to leave.’

I hugged Asha protectively. ‘He probably read that newspaper article and found out about her.’ I mentally kicked myself for the millionth time. ‘It did more harm than good.’ I couldn’t disguise the slight edge to my voice. If Zach hadn’t talked me into doing it, none of the aftermath would’ve happened. But then he’d thought he was doing the right thing. So did I at the time.

‘Are you sure he’s going? He gave me the creeps.’

‘He’s packing up right now and he’ll be escorted off the reserve.’

I tried to shake off the uneasy feeling.