We completed our shift. The squads who replaced us went out on patrol and ambush, and Karl, who after a shift usually closes his eyes and falls asleep, instead drank two cups of tea and shared a few incidents from his life. He began:
“I am more accustomed to autumn and winter than to seasons of light. We communists begin activity in the fall. In spring and summer we would hide in cellars and study political doctrine and propaganda. During those months, we would pay close attention to the commissars, make maps, and plan operations.
“With all due respect to theory, we wanted action, contact with great things, and real rivals. In other words: confrontation. Young people—seventeen, eighteen—who join the Party are trained to be single-minded and violent: to break down gates and doors, to rip out window bars. Violence not only strengthens the hands; it also makes you a hero. Well-bred young people, nice people to talk to, are turned overnight into a gang. We were convinced that everything we did was for the common good. The past and present were unimportant; what was important was the future. Rabbis and merchants are enemies of mankind, and whoever abuses them brings salvation to the world.
“We would attack religious institutions, tear charity boxes from the wall, set Torah scrolls on fire. We hated religious Jews: the way they stood, what they wore, how they talked. There was nothing about them we didn’t hate. Small wonder that we eagerly burned synagogues, religious courts, and ritual baths. But most of all we loved to interrogate rabbis, religious judges, and Talmud teachers.
“At night we would break into a rabbi’s house and inform him we were from the Department of Education and Culture of the Communist Party and had come to investigate how he teaches and preaches his defunct religion. The questions were listed in a notebook. The first question was, ‘What do you teach, and to whom?’
“ ‘I teach what my ancestors taught me. I add nothing and subtract nothing,’ the rabbi would answer right away.
“The second question was, ‘You undoubtedly know that your teaching corrupts the soul of the young people?’
“ ‘God’s Torah is pure.’ The rabbi would cling to that verse.
“ ‘You don’t know that times have changed?’
“ ‘Changed?’ The rabbi would be puzzled. ‘Changed for the better?’
“ ‘Science has advanced, thinking is broader, but your teachings stand in the way of progress and cause injury to mankind. You must stop at once, or our department will deal with you the way you deserve.’
“Some of the rabbis were undeterred by any threat. They would stand their ground and confuse the young investigators. Of course, there were also weak rabbis who quickly capitulated to the investigators’ threats. They were ready to plead guilty as charged, to sign documents, just to be left alone. Those we hated even more.
“One night we bullied a blind rabbi. The investigator demanded that he stop teaching the young. When he heard the demand, his eyelids fluttered and a kindly smile crossed his lips. ‘I’m not hearing you well, for surely a fellow Jew would never say such a thing to me.’
“ ‘I repeat the demand of the Party to immediately halt the teaching of Talmud,’ the young investigator said, leaving no room for doubt.
“ ‘Good God, what harm have I done to deserve such language? My dear boy, you surely mean well, but to my ears this sounds very harsh.’
“ ‘The demands of the Party are always for the common good.’
“ ‘If so, then thank God, I have done nothing wrong.’
“ ‘But the study of Torah is a crime, a crime against humanity.’
“As he heard the investigator’s explicit words, the blind old man’s face froze, but he quickly recovered and said, ‘You are surely speaking ironically.’
“ ‘What do you mean?’ The young interrogator flinched.
“ ‘You are surely saying the opposite of what you mean.’
“ ‘I do not mean the opposite. I am speaking in simple, direct language. You must stop this teaching immediately. And if you don’t, the Party will know how to deal with you.’
“ ‘Good God!’ The old man looked imploringly toward heaven.
“ ‘Leave God alone and do as you are ordered,’ continued the young, arrogant investigator.
“ ‘What is my sin, God Almighty?’
“ ‘You know your sins; there is no need to recite them again.’
“The old man pressed his hands to his forehead and said, ‘I thank you for your words and your warnings. You are a loyal messenger, it seems. From now on I declare a fast, a ban on food and on speech. God willing, I will hear only good and worthy things.’
“ ‘You are not just blind,’ the young investigator said with disgust.
“The rabbi’s expression changed to one of incredulity. ‘My blind eyes have been open for many years. Your sin will not be forgiven.’
“The interrogator continued to berate the rabbi, whose forehead furrowed in disbelief. The interrogator finally gave up, arose with contempt, and left the room. I followed him.
“I conducted investigations on my own and witnessed many others. Where we got the gall and arrogance to browbeat elderly rabbis in the middle of the night, I don’t know. Yes, the commissars prepared us for these interrogations. Their policy was never to take pity on benighted people. Anyone who takes pity on them harms the beating heart of the Party. They hold captive many people who must be redeemed. There was magic in the words ‘captive’ and ‘redemption.’ ”
“And you weren’t afraid?” asked one of the listeners.
“No. We were certain that we were doing what was good and right.”
“Who were the commissars?”
“Jewish university students.”
“And who were the investigators?”
“Young Jews from the gymnasium.”
Karl’s face grew still, and for a moment it seemed that he was asking his listeners not to bother him with more questions. But there were a few more queries that embarrassed him.
“That’s how it was,” Karl concluded. You couldn’t tell if he was referring to the sin that was hard to forgive, or if he was perhaps confessing to all charges in an indictment that he himself had composed.
Nearly every night, images and incidents that had been buried in our hearts come forth. I sometimes think that Kamil is distressed by these revelations, which take the place of the study of the texts.