Tony

 

 

 

 

“SAIL” WAS PLAYING, by Awolnation. I lay on my bed, arms folded behind my head, and studied the ceiling. I’d been doing this for the past forty-five minutes. And it’d gotten me nowhere. Just like last night, when I’d done the same…for hours. Brilliant.

Lisa…Sam…Lisa…Sam…

I loved one. And I couldn’t get the other out of my head.

Nothing made sense.

“Ah, fuck it,” I growled and sat up. It was time to get to Charlie’s. Maybe working my shift this afternoon would help me stop thinking about the girls currently turning my life upside down.

I pulled my T-shirt off and draped it over the back of my desk chair. On weekends, Charlie wanted me to wear black trousers and a white shirt, but during the week, he didn’t care. Skimming through the tees in my wardrobe, I remembered the collision with Sam after AVE today. She had given me my hoodie back.

I’d wanted to grab her hand then and make her stay—make her listen to me. Apologize. But the truth was I wouldn’t even have known what to say. She’d been right with all the crap she’d thrown at my head yesterday. She’d read me better than I knew myself.

From the plastic bag on my desk, I pulled out the black hoodie she’d worn in the woods last weekend. Although the damn thing could have served her as a mini-dress, Sam had looked adorable in it. Hot. Black was her color. Not because it matched her crazy hair but because it complemented her beautiful brown eyes. Eyes that had turned soft every time she’d looked at me over the past few days.

I lifted the sweatshirt to my face and took a deep breath. The scent of the detergent reminded me of how she’d smelled when I’d carried her to my bed. Closing my eyes, I clasped the fabric tighter, burying my face in it.

I missed her.

Liz was there for me, always. She was Hunter’s girlfriend now, but whenever I needed someone, she was the first to come and listen to my shit. We still hung out a lot, the three of us—went to movies, got caught up in video game battles, went to the beach, and met at her place every Wednesday night to watch Vikings together. I saw her at school, and sometimes even at soccer. I loved having her near me. But when she wasn’t there, I didn’t think about her. There was simply no need to. I knew I would see her again the next day, or the next.

With Sam, it was totally different. I inhaled every minute with her, and when she wasn’t around, my longing for her grew even stronger. There was nothing that could stop me from thinking about her.

Why couldn’t I have told her this yesterday when she’d called me out on my lie to Liz? She would have liked to hear it. Maybe it would have made more sense to her than it made to me right now. Because frankly, it confused the hell out of me. I knew it was possible to love two women at the same time. But I wondered if this really applied to me. It didn’t feel like I was in love with both girls. Only with one of them.

I glanced at my wristwatch. Shit. I was running late. Quickly, I pulled on the sweatshirt, reveling in the familiar scent for another second, then I rushed to put on my sneakers and tucked my cell phone and keys into the pockets. Something in there felt strange. I stopped dead, looking down at myself, as I pulled my stuff out again, tossed it on the bed, and slipped my hands into the pockets once more.

What the fuck? There were countless shreds of paper inside.

What had Sam put in there? I took out a handful, studying the shreds, trying to understand what it was. Pencil lines were on some pieces, others were totally blank.

I fished out the rest of the bits and heaped them on my desk, pushing them around, turning some over. After a few moments, I caught one with my initial on it—my brand for my drawings.

My heart gave a twinge as I finally realized what Sam had given back with the hoodie.