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‘I need to have a glass in my hand; without it, I feel lost.’
When you’re no longer drinking you’ll find you have more time on your hands – it’s a natural consequence of being sober. Combine this with raised levels of energy and a hunger to do more, and you have a recipe for true success and happiness. When I quit drinking I couldn’t believe how much more capacity I had to get out and do things.
Once you’ve cut alcohol out of your life your brain and body will recalibrate and this can take a bit of time. Many people experience a feeling of happiness after a few weeks without drinking; this is called the ‘pink cloud’ phase and feels almost euphoric. When this happened to me I couldn’t believe I was smiling and laughing naturally for the first time in over two decades. (Just a word of warning: keep your guard up because you can have the odd overcast day in the midst of the pink clouds – Chapter 21 covers this in more detail).
However, once you’ve moved past this delightful phase you can find the absence of booze leaves a void. For instance, my routine had been to drink red wine in front of the television every evening after my daughter had gone to bed, and after I quit, I still wanted to watch my box sets accompanied by an ‘adult’ drink in a grown-up glass. After considering the options and doing some research, I found there was a huge selection of new and exciting adult drinks for me to explore and taste.
I don’t like to call these drinks ‘alcohol-free’ because they’re not pretending to be an alcoholic drink; rather, they’re botanical drinks that you can mix with tonic water (my favourite) or a mixer of your choice. I also love to add a slice of lime and ice. Some of the ones I’ve tried and loved are: Seedlip, Caleno, Ceders, Borrago, and Silk Tree. I update my blog with the latest drinks, so if you’re keen to explore this tasty new world you can read my reviews.
You may also like to check out alcohol-free beers and wines, some of which are amazing. However, for some people they can act as a trigger so please do what feels right for you. I found alcohol-free red wine was not for me as it just seemed too much like the real thing.
Using these botanical drinks as a simple way of replacing alcoholic drinks has worked incredibly well for me and for many members of the Be Sober group. It may work for you too, because you feel like you’re drinking something special; in fact, most of the people I speak to don’t even notice the fact that the drink isn’t alcoholic.
So although this is how I filled the void in my evening routine, quitting drinking also meant I had a lot more time on my hands and another gap to fill. After all, I used to spend several hours drinking every day, so when I added up that time over a month it was a lot of empty hours I was faced with. With all my new energy and motivation pulsing through me, I filled the gap by getting out into the big wide world to explore hobbies. This meant I was able to spend time on the things I truly enjoyed; I even started drawing and writing again, which I hadn’t done for years.
One of my initiatives was to join a fitness boot-camp, where I made loads of new friends (those friendships are so much more authentic when they aren’t built on a foundation of drinking). I started going to a Pilates class, and spent more time running, walking in the woods, reading books, and going to gigs and sporting events. I also watched just about every film that came out at the cinema.
How did I start? It was my old friend ‘writing things down’ again. I made a list in my journal of all the activities I wanted to do, from the simple through to the crazy ones that I may never get around to (white water rafting just seems too dangerous). If making a list seems like a good idea to you, go ahead and get your journal and pen it out. I even stuck a list of mine on the fridge and have been ticking off the things I’ve accomplished.
The point is, do what you enjoy with the extra energy you’ve released. Don’t sit around getting bored or wasting time thinking about drinking – step out and love it. Take the time to think about the activities you’d like to do now you have more time and energy; use your hunger to participate in the world and get stuck in.
If you need some ideas about what to do, there are hundreds of activities you can get involved in. Below are a few suggestions:
● plan a trip to upcoming concerts, gigs and shows;
● learn an instrument;
● learn to speak a language;
● explore art and crafts-based hobbies;
● join a fitness group;
● join a yoga or Pilates class;
● take up swimming;
● take up cooking classes;
● spend time walking or cycling in the great outdoors, or
● volunteer with a local group or charity and start helping people.
‘60 days alcohol-free! Feeling great these days and I’ve learned a lot, been indulging in some new hobbies and used the money I would have spent on alcohol to instead have a week away in Denmark. And the best part is, I’ve barely thought about drinking at all! I think this new lease of life is my new addiction now.’
Facebook group post by Matt