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‘Vacations and drinking go hand in hand. I won’t enjoy a holiday without alcohol.’
It goes without saying that sober holidays can feel like a challenge. Vacations are seen as a time to let your hair down and relax, and of course, you probably associate that with drinking. In fact, you might see it as an opportunity to drink way more than you would normally do at home. I often see holiday-makers quaffing beer and wine before midday – even at breakfast time, which is something I imagine they would never do if they weren’t abroad. I was never a big daytime drinker even when I was on holiday, but I made up for it as soon as the sun went down.
When I look back at the holidays I went on before I stopped drinking, I’m met with a stark reminder of how alcohol was in charge of my life. Before a trip away I’d worry that I might not be able to get my hands on my beloved red wine as soon as I arrived, so I’d search on Google to ensure there were shops nearby to stock up. When my teenage daughter and I travelled to Tokyo on a trip of a lifetime, for instance, the first thing I did after I’d dumped our luggage in the apartment was to head out and find a shop. I thought that as long as I disguised the trip as being part of our initial reconnaissance of the area, I wasn’t a bad dad.
If I feared the shops might let me down, I’d stash alcohol in my suitcase as a backup plan; I didn’t care for customs rules and regulations, because alcohol came first. I even remember having my suitcase searched by some stern looking security guards at Dubai airport. They weren’t impressed when they pulled out a box of red wine, although they did let me keep it! This summed up my addiction; I was more worried about not having my daily wine fix than I was about being arrested.
In those days, I could never have believed a holiday would be more fun without alcohol involved, but once I experienced the joy of time with my family when I was fully present and engaged, it was a revelation to me and I never looked back. Now, the joy of spending time with my daughter and not needing to work out how I’m going to have a drink is wonderful. I’m not watching the clock or ending fun times early to uncork my wine; I’m totally absorbed in the moment and loving every minute.
If you’ve stopped drinking and have a holiday coming up, you need to plan ahead and approach it with the right mindset. You don’t want to feel like you’re missing out because you aren’t drinking; instead, you should feel like you don’t want a drink because alcohol is irrelevant to your life. You’ll have a good time without needing to drink, trust me on this. Given how much of this book you’ve read, there’s every chance you’re feeling strong enough to enjoy a holiday sober and I’m certain you’ll have a much better time without booze.
I know I’ve mentioned mindset a few times throughout this book, but this repetition is intentional because changing your mindset really is the key to finding peace in a life without alcohol. So I make no apology for reminding you of this and pushing you to do the work to change your beliefs from feeling like you can’t have a drink to feeling like you don’t want one. When you feel like this, it becomes so much easier and you’ll find holidays to be the best they’ve ever been.
Practical tips for sober holidays
Below are the main challenges I’ve found on vacation, along with my advice on how to deal with them.
You’re offered after-dinner free drinks and shots in restaurants. A polite ‘no thanks’ does the trick. If you feel you need an excuse then ‘I’m on medication so I can’t drink’ works in most cases. Although I’ve always preferred to be honest and tell people that I don’t drink because it does nothing for me, sometimes it can be easier to make up a reason.
Your travel companions are drinking. You need to be clear and tell them you aren’t drinking ahead of the holiday. Set boundaries and expectations, and if they’re true friends they’ll support you.
Everyone everywhere is drinking. Good for them, but you’re not and you should be proud of being different. Embrace the sober life and enjoy your freedom. The absence of holiday hangovers is wonderful – you can get up at sunrise and walk along the beach while everyone else is sleeping off their sore heads or regretting their behaviour from the night before. Make the most of the new opportunities sobriety gives you.
Lack of decent alcohol-free drinks. Depending on your destination you’ll probably find that most European countries and the USA have a good supply of alcohol-free beer, juices, tonics, and mixers. I found the Caribbean and Asia to be lacking in decent alternative drinks, although after a few days of searching in Barbados, I found one called Kola Tonic which tasted amazing when mixed with ginger ale. This is stocked all over the Caribbean. Try to see your holiday as an opportunity to explore new and exciting drinks; there are some incredible alcohol-free alternatives if you take the time to search. Make it part of your adventure.
You keep thinking about drinking instead of enjoying yourself. Forget it – you don’t drink now, so there’s nothing to think about. You made the firm decision to quit, so move on. Just let the thoughts pass, surf any urges, and get on with enjoying your holiday. You don’t need alcohol in your life and it certainly won’t make you have a better holiday. If the thoughts don’t pass quickly or keep coming back, spend some time meditating or take a walk to disrupt them. They’ll fade away before you know it.
‘I’m currently on holiday in Greece, and it’s my first ever all-inclusive holiday. As I’ve been alcohol-free for just over seven months now, I thought that I would find it easy, but seriously I’m not!! How can this be after seven months? Yesterday, I told myself I could just have a beer, it wouldn’t hurt, would it? After all, I am on holiday!! Next, I sought approval from my wife (who still drinks), and at first she suggested that I didn’t have one, but then when I told her I’d just stick to beer, and maybe an odd cocktail, but no wine (my old poison), she told me she’d leave it up to me and it was my choice. Next, I sought approval from my daughter, who was fine with me having whatever I wanted. So, there I was all geared up as I wandered up to the bar to get my wife a Tequila Sunrise and myself a beer. But on the bar was a jug of lemon and lime infused water. I stopped and thought how refreshing it looked. I then told myself why not just have a glass of that water for now, then after that, if I still fancied a beer, go back and get one. So that’s what I did! As I lay on the sun lounger drinking my water, I still felt like having a beer, but after my “near miss”, I told myself something that a lot of people use in this group... JUST FOR TODAY.’
Facebook group post by Graham, UK
‘Halfway through my sober solo holiday in Greece and I’m smashing it!!! Feel so healthy and relaxed. I never dreamed I could enjoy a holiday without alcohol. Funny thing is now, I can’t imagine drinking it!
Facebook group post by Alison, USA
On my first alcohol-free holiday as an adult. Normally by now, I would be itching to go to the surf club across the road for a bottle of wine with dinner (roll home and have a second) but instead, I am chilling on the balcony with an alcohol-free beer while hubby has gone to pick up a takeaway, and after dinner it is board games with the kids. Some might say boring... I say perfect.’
Facebook group post by Sara, Australia