IT WAS BROAD DAYLIGHT when Mr. Jones, with a quite dreadful black eye, came to release me; and it was much later before the entire staff of the Zoo managed to rescue our poor Aggie. And it was then that I learned the truth, that Babe was not Babe at all, but the new elephant, and that it had taken a fancy to Aggie and was most unwilling to let her go.
Our reunion in that office of the Zoo was touching, and it was not long before we reached Tish’s apartment. It is easy to imagine our horror when we found that she was not there. Instead, a red-eyed Hannah said that Charlie Sands was out searching for her, and there was only Paula, gazing out the window and rather drooping.
She brightened when she saw us, but stiffened when she caught sight of Mr. Jones, and gave him a dreadful look.
“Well!” she said. “And where do you come in on this?”
“I’ve been in on it all night. And if you think it’s been easy, look at me.”
“I am looking,” she said nastily. “The only thing I see to admire is that eye.”
“If that’s the way you feel—”
“That’s exactly the way I feel, Bill Lawrence,” she said coldly.
Then at last we knew the truth, and the shocking deception that had been practiced on us. But he did not appear at all ashamed. He merely gave Paula a long look.
“All right,” he said. “All right. Since that’s your state of mind, I know where I can go. And get a job too. A jail’s a darned good place to write, and during the small hours of this morning I did a bit of work. However—”
He then prepared to depart, but she leaped at him and caught his arm.
“Write what?” she demanded.
He pulled some yellow paper from his pocket and glanced at it.
“It’s called ‘The Mouse,’ he said, “and maybe the Gazette won’t eat it up, photographs and all! It begins as follows—”
She snatched at the paper, but he held it away from her.
“Bill!” she said. “You wouldn’t! You wouldn’t spoil everything. You wouldn’t let me down like this, would you?”
“Wouldn’t I?” he said, with a bitter laugh. “Listen, my girl. You thought it was damned funny when that moose got me in a tree, didn’t you? It was a laugh, wasn’t it? It was a good laugh when I lost my job too.”
“Bill, I never laughed at that.”
“Didn’t you?” he said coldly. “Well, laugh this off. I’ve got the story of my life here. To get it I have committed felonious entry, barratry and mayhem, been chased by a new elephant at the Zoo, hit by a fellow with a fist like a ham, and spent two hours in a jail cell. I’m not selling.”
Well, I must say I was surprised at her: instead of being angry, she went to him and stroked the sleeve of his coat, looking up at him with a little smile.
“If you’re not selling, Bill, maybe you’re trading,” she said. “I’m sorry, Bill. I’ve missed you.”
To our amazement he grabbed her and shook her violently. Then he simply put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.
“Of course I’m trading, darling,” he said. “What the devil do you think I did it for?”
I must say they seemed entirely to have forgotten us until Aggie sneezed. They looked a bit sheepish then, but when I told them we had no mouse Paula looked rather vague.
“Mouse?” she said. “Oh, yes, I’d forgotten. Well, it doesn’t really matter. We can get one somewhere.”
Aggie went at once to bed, the hay in the elephant cage having greatly increased her hay fever; but I remained on watch in a frenzy of anxiety. The thought of our dear Tish alone somewhere and in trouble was more than I could bear; and when the telephone rang I rushed to it.
It was only Mr. Beilstein to inquire how the night had gone. When he heard my voice he said, “And did you get a nice little mouse, Miss Lizzie?”
“We got an elephant,” I said tartly.
“An elephant? In my cellar?”
But I hung up. I felt that I could bear no more. …
It was fully noon before Charlie Sands located Tish. She was in a room at the local hospital in the psychopathic ward, and as I have said, tied to the bed. The doctor in charge took him in and observed that it was a very sad case.
“You take women of a certain age,” he said, “and you often get a psychosis of this nature. Man becomes the animal in pursuit, in this case an elephant, and—”
Charlie Sands pushed him aside and confronted Tish, who merely closed her eyes.
“What does this mean?” was his opening speech, in a stern voice. “Open your eyes and look at me. What about an elephant?”
“Aggie’s on it,” she said. “I’ve told them that but they won’t believe me.”
“You see,” said the doctor. “She’s been saying that ever since she was brought here. Trying to escape too, so she had to be restrained.”
But Charlie Sands was not listening. He got a chair and sat down by the bed, and I believe he asked for a glass of water.
“All right,” he said. “Aggie’s on an elephant somewhere, but you’re here. Why? And how?”
“I was merely trying to get some peanuts. That’s all.”
“What for?”
And then Tish became her old self.
“Don’t be a fool,” she said sharply. “For the elephant, of course.”
He looked so strange that a nurse brought him some aromatic ammonia. He waved it away, however, as Tish spoke again.
“I had just captured a good mouse,” she said, “but the policeman threw it away.”
“A mouse!” said the doctor. “Now that’s new. She has mentioned a fire hydrant—symbolic, of course—and, curiously enough, a baked ham. But a mouse—that’s strange.”
“You don’t know her,” said Charlie Sands bitterly. “It’s not strange. It’s quite normal. Ask her for a steel rivet and she’d go after the Brooklyn Bridge.” He then stood up and gazed down at Tish. “I have a theory,” he said, “that if I could leave you here life would be a long, sweet song. Dull perhaps, but quiet. However—” He drew a long breath. “You’d better tell me where this elephant is. Aggie may be tired of it.” …
It was some hours later that our dear Tish returned home, and it was only after Charlie Sands had had a glass or two of our blackberry cordial that he at last heard the full story of the night.
“I see,” he said finally. “Of course, it is all quite easy, once you understand. Merely theft, assault and battery, destruction of property, attacking a policeman, and so on.” He then poured himself another glass of the cordial and finally grinned.
“It must have been quite a night for Bill,” he said. “Well, he’s a stronger man than I am.”
He seemed relieved when he heard that Paula had got the story and burned it. But he shook his head.
“That’s love,” he said, “and heaven defend me from it.”
It was then that Hannah came in, holding a Mason jar, and there was a live mouse in it! She had found it in the pantry that morning.
I believe that they had the head mounted later on, and that Bill Lawrence, who had been reinstated, made the presentation speech. I believe also that the old man, as they call the managing editor, took the hint and even smiled, and that the mouse hangs in his office today. But only yesterday Tish, coming home from the market, dropped her basket and food of all sorts rolled over the pavement.
She was picking up what she could when Officer O’Brien came by. He stopped and gave her a hard look.
“I see you’ve had a good day,” he said, and walked on.