With a sigh, Kiera leaned back in the wooden rocking chair while little Mattie made smacking noises as she fed. Her baby’s warm skin against hers was the most perfect feeling in the whole world. Thank God they had a safe place to go after the first compound had been shut down. How was it only a week ago?
The living room she sat in, like the rest of the new compound, was built into a limestone cave system.
The entire structure was an engineering feat. Turned out, Mateo had a hand in the creation of this second Morpheus Squad base as well.
She’d always wondered what he had been working on in Atlanta, staying up late those many nights. His computer screen had been full of blueprints and schematics, and when she’d asked, he always told her, “A little side project.”
According to Hunt, Mateo had hit send several months ago, and the rest was history, as the skillfully honed walls of the structure attested.
Some side project. She looked out a window set perfectly into solid rock and took in the vivid green foliage, still glinting with morning dew.
Kiera pulled the quilt around Mattie. A nearby unit emitted cozy heat that warmed the stone enough to make the dwelling comfortable on chilly days.
The property was located deep in forested mountains around Jefferson, North Carolina, several hours north of the first compound.
No need to use radar-blocking material. The solid rock above them provided perfect cover. The new compound contained several bedrooms and private living areas, as well as the ubiquitous strategy room, complete with a kitchen, dining area, and group work area.
Stumpy had all of his computer equipment set up, exactly the way he wanted it. He would have the security cameras and motion detectors operational within the next few days. Still upset about the security breach at the first compound, he labored for hours to ensure the system would be impervious to a breach this time around.
The small clinic area had been restocked to Doc’s specifications. He was in his element, organizing all the labeled supplies into neat bins on shelves. With a few modifications, the large exam room could convert into an operating room suite or a hospital bay for several patients.
God willing, they’d never see any casualties. Her heart skidded a few beats. The team hadn’t heard from Pele in over twenty-four hours, and Beau’s men had been spotted near Reagan’s workplace. Trust Pele, the guys said. He’s a professional. Easier said than done. Kiera couldn’t wait for the nightmare with Beau to end.
She looked down at her daughter’s sweet face. How long had it been since Mattie’s birth? Kiera ticked off her fingers. Six days.
Doc had examined Mattie every day, measuring her weight and length and checking her heart and lungs. He monitored for jaundice or other complications of being born a few weeks early. For her part, Mattie ignored the fact that she was slightly preterm and thrived with the attention and love.
Speaking of attention, Kiera cringed as she adjusted a piece of pink frill erupting out of Mattie’s pink onesie. Gonzo made a show of reluctantly volunteering again when it came time to shop for baby clothes. From the looks of it, the guy had cleared out every pink piece of zero- to six-month clothing from the local big box store.
The guys were wrapping up work developing the interior of the structure. Even though they had to focus on getting the compound functional, it was obvious by their conversations that they wanted to return to their original mission: take down Fallen Comrades, destroy Beau Lequire, and unearth the government and foreign dealings.
The comment Lequire had made about his father having access to the development of a cure for the Morpheus Virus? Maybe there was a chance of normal lives for the guys.
She stroked her daughter’s soft cheek and silky strawberry-blonde hair. Doc had run numerous tests. No evidence at all of any problems due to the Morpheus Virus.
Mateo and Brady would have loved to see Mattie. A catch hit Kiera right in the chest, and she rolled her head to the side. She hadn’t had time to mourn the loss of her brother or her mission partner.
She shifted Mattie to suckle at the other breast and tucked the quilt back around her.
There was unfinished business between Kiera and Jake. But if the future comprised of only Mattie and her against the world, then so be it.
She could find a job in accounting. Once things settled down with Fallen Comrades and exposing Beau Lequire, she could move back to Chattanooga where her father lived, or disappear into a small town and create a life there.
She sighed, a dull pain in her chest.
Mattie fell asleep, and Kiera dabbed a bit of milk from her daughter’s mouth and then pulled her own shirt closed. Rolling her eyes at Mattie’s pink disaster of an outfit, Kiera wrapped her in the pink satin-trimmed receiving blanket. With flowers on it, no less. Tucking the swaddled form into her arms, she pushed the chair into a slow rocking motion while gazing out the window.
The sound of a small waterfall cascading next to the cave dwelling provided a peaceful background noise. The stream gave them fresh drinking water. Better yet, the guys said they’d have hydroelectric power in a week.
It wasn’t home, but it felt good.
Each of the Morpheus Squad guys kept checking in on Kiera and Mattie. Incessantly. It was as though Mattie had inherited a bunch of overprotective, brawny uncles. Even Rodeo, who clearly had misgivings about small babies and laboring women, stopped by regularly, mumbled a few words, and left.
Not all of the guys came by.
A bubble of pressure grew in her chest, and she tamped it down, hard.
After the delivery, Jake stayed at her side until she and Mattie were completely safe within the new compound.
He had run. Again.
No. She had no right to criticize. He’d put his life on the line to save her and Mattie.
Her head rested on the back of the chair.
A door opened behind her. A whiff of aftershave and hickory wafted past.
No way. Her heart skipped a beat.
“Hi.” Jake stopped a few feet away from her. He had circles under his serious gray eyes.
“You’re back.” She tried to keep her voice neutral. God knew, he’d far exceeded any obligations when he had risked his life and freedom for her.
“I—yeah.” He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. Despite the cooler temperatures here in the cave house, he still wore a t-shirt, his massive arm muscles bulging from beneath the fabric. And his chest holster. Of course.
He stood next to her and stared. A muscle jumped along his clean-shaven jaw, though his gaze softened when he looked at Mattie. He ran a single finger over her fuzzy reddish-blonde hair. There was a peacefulness to his expression that Kiera had never seen before.
Swallowing, she studied his hard features. “How are you doing?”
“I should ask you the same thing.” A flash of sadness drew his brows down again. “Yeah. Every day is better.”
Damn his closed expression. “Are you sure?” she said.
“Kier—”
“What’s on your mind, Jake?” She no longer had the patience to dance around hard topics.
“Nothing.” He shifted from one foot to another.
Sleep-deprived and grumpy wasn’t the best way for her to have this conversation, but she needed to cut him a little slack until she understood his explanation. “Try again.”
His shoulders slumped. “Well. My house is gone.”
“Gone?” Her jaw dropped.
“Burned to the ground.”
“Oh, God, I’m sorry.” Nasty shame flooded her. Of course, he needed time to take care of his property.
“It’ll be okay. I have other funds available to rebuild. But I was thinking that I might stay here for now.”
Something fluttered in her chest, like a piece of her was trying to take flight. “Here?”
The muscles in his arms tightened. “Yeah. Seems I’ve officially rejoined Morpheus Squad.”
They both stared out at the early spring day as she rocked Mattie.
He blew out a deep breath. “I, um. Put Mateo—his remains—to rest.”
“Really?”
“Least I could do. He sacrificed his life so you could escape and Mattie would live.”
“Wow.” She swallowed. “Thank you. I know he’s looking down and appreciates what you did.”
“Maybe. He supported and helped you after Brady died. Putting him to rest gave me a chance to say some things to him.” He shuffled his feet.
Another period of silence filled the room.
Time for her to buck up and make things … not necessarily better, but at least not bad. “Jake. About the other day, before… When I accused you of letting your past control you. I never had a chance to apologize.”
“You were completely right.”
She pitched her voice low so as not to disturb Mattie. “No. You’re a good person. You’re not defined by your parents, your past, or by things out of your control.”
Shaking his head, he said, “But how I’ve responded to those things. That’s what I could control. I’m ashamed of the mistakes I’ve made. I’m not proud of what I said before … Lequire took you.” He blew out a big breath. “What I said was wrong. You’ve never put pressure on me. Never. The problem was with my insecurities.”
Her eyes burned. “You’ve never owed me anything, Jake. Ever.”
Leaning forward, he pulled his hands out of the pockets and clenched them. “But I wanted to owe you something.” His rumbling voice made something twist deep inside her.
When she opened her mouth to reply, he held up his hand.
“Let me finish. I made mistakes with you years ago, and there’s not a day gone by when I haven’t regretted them.” He stared out the window. “You know why I went into the military so long ago? It was to get away from you.”
When her jaw dropped, he winced.
“That came out all wrong. What I mean was, I ran away from you.”
Tucking hair behind an ear, she said, “Sounds much better.”
“Shit.” He cringed. “Let me try again. Years ago, you were everything good in my world. When I thought you were pregnant back then, I was shaken to the core. I knew I had to take care of you but had zero confidence that I could pull off the job, given the crappy role models I had growing up. When it turned out you weren’t pregnant, I was relieved not to have to fail you.”
“So you joined the Army, ran to the opposite side of the Earth, and volunteered for a dangerous mission? Hell of a crisis of confidence.” She rubbed her neck.
He shot her a wry grimace. “You’re right. But by then, keeping myself free of entanglements had become second nature. Then later, I got a woman pregnant and married her because I wanted to do the right thing.” He tapped his toe on the floor.
“You didn’t cause the miscarriage. Her sadness wasn’t your fault.”
“In a way, her issues were partly my doing. I could have been there more for her. More supportive. Open up about my feelings and intentions from the start. But like before, I ran. I checked out of the relationship.” Shifting from foot to foot he said, “Don’t you get it? When the chips are down, I run.”
“You didn’t run this time. Not in the back of the vehicle when Mattie arrived.”
“Mostly because of your death grip on me.”
“Poor super soldier.”
Thank goodness for the tiny lift of his mouth.
“I ran afterward.”
True. Although he technically did it to gain closure. “You came back.”
He knelt in front of her. “Listen, I’m sorry I doubted you. I’m sorry I doubted myself. My misjudging of your character put you in danger.”
“We’ve both made mistakes.”
His hand drifted over Mattie’s head again. “Yeah, but your mistake is a hell of a lot cuter.”
“It’s our mistake.” She sniffed. “And she’s not a mistake.”
“You’re right.”
For a minute, he simply watched Mattie until Kiera’s breath caught.
Finally, he said, “Look, I don’t have any right to ask this.” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Do you think two people can start over again?”
Her pulse jumped. “I think it’s possible.”
A hint of a smile lit up his handsome features.
“Because I’d love to get a crack at being a dad to Mattie and a long-term partner for you. If you’re willing to take a chance on a defective guy without any solid future who has some serious hang-ups. If so, then I’d love to be that guy.” He groaned and dropped his forehead onto his palm. “Not good.”
His effort melted her heart.
His voice was muffled. “This shit never does come out right.”
“Jake?”
“Yeah?” He lifted his head, but there was no smile.
“Let’s try.”
“Let’s try what?”
“The together thing.” She reached for his hand. “We’ll take baby steps. All three of us.”
“Yeah?”
“I love you, Jake. I always have.”
He stared at her like she’d grown a second head. Then he laughed and tugged her hand to his cheek, kissing the palm. Blissful sparks shot through her fingertips.
“Kiera, I have loved you since the day we met, all those years ago. You’re an amazing woman.”
“You’re just saying that because I cranked out a six-pounder in the back of a moving vehicle.”
“Well, it’s one reason. I’ll tell you the other thousand or so reasons over the next however many years.”
When he leaned over the chair and kissed her, the tenderness in his touch made her heart catch once more. He stroked her cheek and neck, and then leaned his forehead against hers.
Between them, Mattie’s quiet breathing filled the space.
He eased back, still holding Kiera’s free hand between his two large palms. “As long as I have you and Mattie, that’s all I need.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“I love you, Kiera McNeill. Not because of the baby, but because of you. I will protect and love you and Mattie with everything I’ve got.”
Her eyes burned with happy tears. “I love you.”
As they leaned in for a long kiss, Kiera sighed.
Jake.
After all these years, she had found her safe haven and home.
The End