Chapter Twelve

"Tact teaches you when to be silent."

~Benjamin Disraeli

 

Woo-hoo, a day off! I flew down the stairs and into the kitchen. No classes to teach, no performing, no big work outs, just a day of fun!

"You seem excited," Anali said.

"The boys and I are going out for the day." I scooped some yogurt into a bowl, adding granola and sliced banana.

"The boys?" Gavin asked putting down some work papers.

"Kayin, Shin, Sasha, and Taliesin." Who did he think I meant?

"Oh, what's Miu doing today?" Anali asked.

"She's going out with the girls who do the contortion act, some girls’ day out thing."

"And you're going out with the boys?" I stared at Gavin with my mouth open and spoon halfway to my mouth—a movie perfect shocked look.

"Um, I don't wear make-up. I have enough clothes. And the only jewelry I wear is my mom's." I held up a hand showing the night sky ring.

Gavin reached up and touched his fire pendant which was hidden under his shirt. "Well, what are you and the boys doing that is so much better?"

Anything else. "Well, I need to get some post cards, and I want to go through the open air market."

"Sapphire," Anali began. "What money do you spend? You never ask me or Gavin for money."

I stared at them for moment as my mouth was full. They had a lot of questions this morning, which didn't bode well. "Why would I ask you for money? I get paid for the circus work."

"Well you don't get paid a lot," Gavin said.

Not a lot in Gavin's world of the rich and famous. "So, I save half and spend the rest. I don't buy a lot of stuff—food every once in a while and gifts for people." I shrugged.

"Well, we think you should get an allowance," Anali said.

"Oh, okay. Well, that would be nice." Like I would turn down money. "What are the rules?"

"Well, you already keep your space clean and help with chores without being asked. So as long as you keep helping out that will be enough." Gavin looked to Anali. She nodded. Okay, this was her idea. Why? He pulled out his wallet. "Here you go."

I took the money - a hundred dollars, was he kidding? "This is a lot. How long is this for?"

"The week."

"No, Gavin," Anali crossed her arms her brow furrowing around her red bindi. "That is for the month, so you have enough to buy the extra things you want."

"Oh, cool." I'd have to change it into pesos, easy enough.

"I also want to give you this." Gavin handed me a gold credit card.

I twisted it amused by how it sparkled in the light. "What is this for?"

"Emergencies."

What do they define as an emergency? Did they expect me to go all teen movie girl and charge up a storm to teach me about responsibility?

"When you ran away and went with Alanna, I didn't know if you had money on you. What if your phone had gotten lost or broken and you couldn't get help? So at the beginning of every month you'll get allowance, and I want you to keep the card on you in case we get separated," Gavin explained.

"Okay," I shoved the money and card in my messenger bag.

"If you need more money, let me know," Gavin said. Anali huffed. I guess they didn't agree on this point. "Depending on what you need the money for, I may give it to you."

"Okay, but I'm sure this will be more than enough."

"You will need to do extra chores to earn extra money," Anali said.

"Sure." That's fair, and I wanted to avoid the argument I felt building.

"No, you don't have to do more work," Gavin said to me. His pale green eyes focused on Anali. "I have more than enough. In fact, you have more than enough." Gavin turned to me. "You inherited all your parent's money and property. It's in trust, but I could help you get an allowance from that, too."

"Gavin, can we talk privately for a moment please?" Anali held the door open. Gavin's jaw clenched as he walked into the hallway.

I watched the door swing shut. Now what I supposed to do?

"Gavin, we talked about this. There is nothing wrong with working to get what you want."

"I know that, but she already works hard. And I gave in to a hundred dollars a month instead of a week like I wanted."

I heard footstep and hoped they would go somewhere else, I didn't want to hear this argument.

"Gavin, we don't want to spoil her. Sapphire isn't used to this kind of money. If you shower her with things, how will she learn the value of hard work, or money well earned?"

"Are you saying I don't know those things?" Gavin asked.

They didn't argue often, most of the time just playful bickering about something silly. Their sharp anger hit my shields. Could I stop the argument? What if I gave the money back? Or offered to do more chores? Would that help? Maybe if I let Gavin sneak me money when Anali wasn't looking, then made sure to save it so when she found out—which she would—I could show that I was responsible? I threw away the rest of my breakfast. I wasn't going to be able to eat any more.

"Gavin, you've had things easy, but you also saw what your parents did to earn the money. And even then, while it could be stressful, your family businesses have been established for generations, it would take work to destroy them."

"I work hard. I do what I need to and show up for practice and performances on time."

"Please, the circus is playing to you, not real work."

My stomach churned. I didn't want to be here. My breath sped up, and I tried to stay quiet and small. I picked up my bag, tiptoed to the door, and pushed it open.

"Sapphire, you're leaving?" Gavin asked.

"Yes, to meet up with the guys?" I said. It sounded a lot like a question.

"I would like to know where you're planning on going and when you plan on being back."

"Sure, of course. Um, we're going to go to the market, and then the Casa Historica de Tucuman. I think the plan is to come back after lunch for a siesta. Is that okay?"

Gavin nodded. "That's fine, call me of you're going to be later than one."

"Yes, absolutely." I forced myself to walk down the hallway when I wanted to run. Kayin and Taliesin stood on the stairs. Taliesin arched a white eyebrow.

Kayin grabbed my arm and lead me out of the house. "Are you okay?"

His deep voice wrapped around me, as did his arms, letting me know I was safe. I shook my head. Tears ran down my cheeks.

"Don't worry, Sapphire, adults fight sometimes." Taliesin pulled out his phone, his thumb skimming across the screen.

"I guess." But what if they broke up? What if it was all my fault? I mean Gavin is attached to me because of knowing me as a baby and I'm his dead sister’s kid. But to Anali, maybe I'm just baggage that came with Gavin? She's always nice to me, but maybe it wasn't working. Maybe loving a child that's not yours isn't possible.

"Ready?" Shin asked as he came out his house, Sasha following behind him. "What happened?"

"Gavin and Anali are arguing," Kayin said.

"About me, they're arguing about me," I whispered.

Sasha grunted. "I hate that. Worst fight my parents got into I was nine years and wanted to join soccer team at school. Mama was going to sign me up, but Papa forbade it. Mama wanted me to be kid. Papa said I was to be ballet dancer. If I got hurt playing soccer, it could ruin life."

Wow, this fight wasn't that bad. "What happened?"

Sasha's gray eyes hardened. "Papa won, he always wins."

Shin bumped his shoulder into Sasha's. "My mom always wins. I think it's because she starts screeching in Korean and my dad gives in."

Shin began talking in a high pitched rapid voice and switching between his hands on his hips and wagging a finger at us. I laughed and shifted so I stood next to Kayin instead of hiding against his chest.

"Come on, let's go," Taliesin said. "Kayin and I missed breakfast."

"Do you want to eat something first?" Shin asked.

"No, they're fighting in the kitchen." Kayin draped his arm over my shoulders I relaxed, feeling safe with my big brother. "We can get some fruit and pastries at the market."

"Sounds good to me." Shin rubbed his belly, his yellow tee shirt bunching under his hand.

"Pig," said Sasha. "You already ate."

Shin shrugged and began to walk down the flower-lined street.

Open air markets are better than a mall any day! They have live music, bags of spices, piles of fruits and vegetables, people calling out showing off their hand-made clothes, jewelry and freshly cooked treats. Munching on warm apple empanadas, we browsed the stalls.

Kayin's dark brown eyes lingered on dolls and toys.

"Kayin, how many siblings do you have?" I asked, handing him my empanada. This had gone on long enough. Things might never be okay with his family, but I was damn well going to try.

"Two little sisters, and one brother. Why?"

I ran my hands over the dolls. Their soft cloth bodies came in a range of browns from pale tan to chocolate brown. Each wore a fancy party dress and their black yarn hair done in braids. "I'm going to get this one for Shante." I held up a doll in a pink dress. "Which ones should we get for your sisters?"

Kayin sighed. "I don't know where to send them or if my mom would even let the girls have them."

"Well, we're going to try. Wouldn't you feel better if you tried?"

Kayin's eyes became shiny with tears which he blinked away. "Yes. Yes, I would. Anashe liked blue, Chidiwa orange."

I picked out two dark skinned dolls and handed the grandmotherly woman some money. She wrapped them in brown paper to keep them safe, at least I assume that was the goal with the gentle way she patted the wrapped packages. I held them and looked around the market. "My bag isn't big enough, we need a basket."

"Over there." Taliesin pointed to the end of the row where a man holding up woven shopping baskets called out to people.

"Perfect." I was on a mission. Anali and Gavin would sort themselves out. Kayin needed my help. I bought two deep baskets woven from flexible grass. Who knew grass could be so strong?

"Now we need gifts for the rest of your family."

"I should get something for my family too," Shin said. "It's been a while since I sent anything home."

"I would like to get something for Shante," Taliesin said. "She spends so much time with my mom it would be rude to ignore her."

I smiled. "What about you, Sasha? Anyone you need to shop for?"

He tilted his head forward, and his golden blond hair streaked with red covered his eyes. "Da, I could get something for parents, and I have cousins I'm close to. It would be nice to have presents in time to ship home for Hanukkah."

"When does it start?" I suck as a friend. I should know something this important.

"In six weeks."

"Do you need anything for it?" Kayin asked.

"I need menorah and candles, but should be easy. Is large Jewish community in Argentina," Sasha said.

I pulled a small notepad out of my bag and began writing everything down. I like lists—they help me pretend my world is neat and tidy when in truth it’s different levels of chaos.

We came back from the market with baskets and bags full of presents. For the first time, the white door glowing against the pale blue house didn't look cheery or inviting. What would I find inside? Gavin and Anali still arguing? How bad had the argument become? Had they decided I was the problem? Did they not want me around anymore?

"Go on," Taliesin said poking me in the back.

I walked up the steps and opened the front door. The house was silent. Is this good or bad?

"Let's sort everything in the living room," Shin said, pointing to the cream and mint green room.

Gavin walked in the house to find the glossy wood floor covered in brown paper, string, toys, jewelry, alpaca wool shawls, candles and other treasures. "I thought you were going to the market, not bringing it home." Gavin smiled, but I could still feel his sadness.

"We were home before one," I blurted out. Good, Sapphire, let's show everyone how uncomfortable you are. Very nice, very smooth.

"Is it after one?" Gavin checked his watch and shook his head. "What's all this?"

"Well," began Shin. "We have Christmas presents, some Hanukkah presents, birthday presents, just because presents, and since I’m Buddhist, mine are kindness presents."

"It looks like you got enough that your shopping should be done. I think finishing holiday shopping in October will set a new world record."

"Gavin, do you know where we can send gifts to Kayin's family?" I asked.

Gavin tilted his head to the side. "We could send it to the lodge. I remember people picking up mail from there right?"

"You were there?" I didn't know this. Why hadn't anyone told me?

"Yes. Anali stayed in New York, and I went down and met up with a group of others." Gavin turned to Kayin. "We hoped to stay until your dad got back, but there were Sons of Belial close by."

"Your dad didn't know about the changes before you left? I thought you were thrown out of the village?"

Kayin nodded. "I was, by my mom and some of the other women. My father was leading a film crew on a safari."

"Why didn't you try to explain?" I asked Gavin. Didn't he know how hurt Kayin was?

"I tried. I did. But once they saw that my hair matched the red curls Kayin woke up with, they began throwing rocks and shouting about evil spirits." Gavin knelt on the floor next to us. "Kayin, I know your dad went to college right?"

Kayin picked up the doll in the blue dress. "Yes, after I was born, that's why there is such a big gap between me and my sister."

"Your dad will listen to you. I'll write him a letter, too. We'll do our best to fix this." Gavin touched the blue doll. "I'm sure your sisters will love these. Do you need a box? There's a UPS store not far from here; I can go and get some."

"We do need boxes. I'll come with you." I put my pile of presents into two baskets, tucking Gavin's knife with the stone inlay handle and a turquoise shawl and several pairs of earrings for Anali at the bottom.

"Okay." Gavin shrugged.

I didn't have anything important to talk about, but if he and Anali came to some big decision I wanted to be told without everyone else around.

"Did you have a fun day?" Gavin asked as we stepped out onto the side walk.

"Yes, we had a ton of fun. I didn't know a lot about their families, and now after helping find the 'perfect' gift for each of them I feel like I know them better."

"That's cool." Gavin tucked his hand in the pockets of his jeans.

My stomach fluttered as I decided how badly I wanted to know what was going on. "What did you do today?"

"Michael and I went to a pub and played darts." Gavin chuckled and shook his head. "Don't ever bet that man while playing darts. I lost fifty bucks!"

"I'll keep that in mind, but I don't think I've ever played darts."

"It's fun, we could go there later and play."

"They won't let me into a bar," I said.

"Pubs are different—they serve food. I saw some kids in there," Gavin said. While we walked, I hoped Gavin would say something about the fight earlier. Maybe there was nothing to say. Did kids ask their parents about their fights? Or did they wait to see if anything would affect them? There were tons of books on how to parent, but what about on how to be a child?

"Here we go," Gavin said, opening the glass door for me.

The small store looked almost exactly like the one I went to in San Francisco. Flat boxes, large envelopes, bubble wrap, and tape lined one wall. I went over and began picking out boxes for everyone.

"Do you need bubble wrap?"

We didn't 'need' it, but it could help, and it was fun. "Yes, and tape."

Gavin got some of each. "I'll grab a packet of address labels too."

"Thanks. Okay, I'm ready." The flat boxes weren't heavy but awkward, my arms weren't long enough to balance them.

Gavin smiled. "I'll carry the boxes home."

We walked home in uncomfortable silence. What should I do, if anything?

Sometimes we want to know something desperately. We catch a piece of a conversation. See a paper half covered by another on a desk. Watch two people arguing. And we want to know the rest. What does the letter say? Who started that conversation? How did the argument end? But it isn't any of our business. Before you ask someone a personal question, especially about something you were not a part of, think for a moment. If your safety or immediate future isn't affected, then keep your questions to yourself. The person might willingly talk to you later if they don't feel like you have pushed or violated their privacy. Or they might not. But tact and knowing when to be quiet is always a good thing.

Should I keep quiet? Did I have the right to ask about their argument? They were arguing about me, so wasn't I involved? Or was I? Was this an adult issue? We all had very little privacy as it was and Gavin and Anali deserved to have theirs. If they needed me to know something they would tell me, right? This sounded reasonable, too bad my curiosity bounced inside of me like a super ball.