I sat at the bar at Liadura Lodge with a pit in my stomach as I waited for Jon to arrive. Natembo had radioed him to let him know what had happened. He was going to take Gidean to the hospital, and I had decided to stay at Liadura for the night so as not to have to drive back to Susuwe or Katima. Jon said he had one more stop and then he’d be on his way over. I knew Craig wouldn’t want me to see him, particularly as vulnerable as I was, but I didn’t care. I was tired of the distance. I could be in his presence and not reveal anything. It was risky, but I needed the company, now more than ever.
As I sat there, Nigel suddenly appeared in the back doorway thoroughly soaked—as if he had just climbed out of the river. He was taken aback by my presence. “Oh, wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
As rattled as I was, I tried to seem calm and was relieved to see him. I looked him up and down. “Have a run-in with a hippo?”
“Something like that. Damn game guards and their drinking. Can’t trust them to steer a boat.”
“Seriously, what happened?”
“Bloody long story.” He wiped some mud off his face with a bar towel. “Nothing is ever how it seems, I can tell you that.” Nigel quickly changed the subject. “What brings you here? Another fallout with an elephant?”
“How did you know?”
“Really, hey? What happened?”
“I was with the rangers in the induna’s field.” I fought with whether to blurt out a blow-by-blow account of what happened or just brush it off. I tightened and got up. “I’m actually feeling pretty devastated right now. Would you mind if we didn’t talk about it?” I didn’t really mean what I was saying, but just seeing Nigel and interacting as little as we did gave me enough strength to do the right thing. I was going to stay strong, and keep my distance. If Jon showed up, I’d turn him away.
Nigel put his hands on my shoulders. “Hey, are you all right? I’m a bloody mess or I’d give you a big hug right now.”
I put a hand up. “No, really, I’m fine. Just shaken up.”
He turned me back to him. “From an elephant?”
I nodded, tearing up, thinking that I was ordered to keep my distance from Jon, but I was not asked to do the same for Nigel. And I wasn’t as strong as I had wanted to be in that moment. “Wounded.”
“Christ.” Nigel took my hand and sat down. “Is it still out there?”
I shook my head. “We got it.”
Nigel squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry. You probably don’t like seeing an elephant die.”
I pulled my hand away and hugged my shoulders. “Does anyone?” I realized that I was an emotional roller coaster and needed to be careful.
Nigel shrugged. “A hunter, I suppose.”
Something about his answer seemed smug and I hardened further. “And poachers, I suppose,” I blurted out sarcastically.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Nigel grabbed my shoulders and crouched down to look me directly in the eye. “Catherine, I didn’t mean it that way.” He searched my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Speaking of poachers, how’s the job at Hippo working out?”
Nigel took his hands away, went behind the bar, and opened a beer. He tipped it toward me but I shook my head. He took a sip. “Haven’t seen anything yet.”
I looked at him incredulously.
“What? The guy is never there, and I have to sit there listening to Alvares drone on about the good old days of Luanda’s ivory carving heyday. It’s bloody exhausting.”
“I hadn’t taken you to be so apathetic.” I knew I was feeling jumpy and defensive and it was time to leave. “I’m sorry, Nigel. I didn’t mean that. Been a long day. I’m going to turn in.”
“You’re not upset with me, are you?”
I shook my head. “No, just frustrated at how slowly things move around here. How many more elephants have to die before this whole thing is exposed?”
“I feel your pain, believe me.”
“Thanks, Nigel. That helps. Good night.”
I walked back to my room and waited much of the night for Jon to arrive so that I could turn him away, but he never showed up. I wanted to believe that he’d have a very good explanation for not showing up. I wanted to believe that he was on a bust with the rangers and couldn’t make it. Meanwhile, I was hoping that Craig would have sorted things out with Jon by now. I wanted the air between us cleared. I wanted to tell him about that night on the airstrip—that it was me who had taken the photos of Geldenhuis. But we’d have to submit the photographer’s name to the court in a few days, so he was going to find out, whether we turned out to be friends or enemies.