Jon lay on a cot that Natembo had brought over from their barracks and put on my porch. His leg was bandaged and raised. I sat on the edge of the cot, allowing Jon to comfort me. Although I’d felt responsible for another person’s death on two occasions before, this was the first time I had actually killed someone. With Nigel in prison, my mind was free to process the last few days, and Geldenhuis’s death weighed heavily on my mind.
“Catherine, you did the right thing.”
“I never thought I’d get to a place where I’d believe that killing someone could ever be considered the right thing.”
He gently held up my fallen face. “Listen to me.” He smiled. “Kill or be killed—that’s the rule of this land. He would have taken both of us out. You know that.”
“I told you, I’m not good at killing.”
“Well, you’re racking up quite a reputation now with two of the hardest things to nail, a wounded elephant and a cunning smuggler.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
He winced and dropped his hands, squeezing his thigh.
“Are you all right?” I squeezed my hand over his.
Jon gasped. “Just another cramp. It’ll pass.”
“More tea?”
“Cheers, thanks.” He exhaled noisily. “That would be great.”
I went inside and made some tea and came back out to the porch with a tray of tea and a brand of ginger cookies I had seen on his shelf.
Jon saw the cookies and smiled. “It doesn’t make it any easier to pull the trigger, I know.”
“I just don’t get it. He was a doctor. What drove him?”
“He was a flawed human first, doctor second. And from the seamy underbelly, a criminal is always born. I’ve seen it again and again in the Caprivi. It’s the nature of the beast.”
“Well, I’m focusing on Dr. Geldenhuis because I’m in denial about Nigel. I just can’t believe I missed every clue he gave me. I feel so stupid—so betrayed.”
“One learns the language of disguise pretty quickly around here, but with Nigel, not soon enough.”
“You knew, didn’t you?” I searched his eyes. “It was that night when he asked about Chastity, wasn’t it?”
“The two of them had been having an affair.”
“Really?” I couldn’t help remembering Nigel’s crass words in prison about local women.
“Seeing her involvement connected the two in my mind.”
“But you kept spending time with him?”
“Keep your enemies close, Catherine, you should know that adage by now.”
“How safe is the Katima prison?” Nigel had succeeded in getting under my skin, despite Craig trying to talk me down after my visit yesterday. “He was completely certain he’d be in Hong Kong by the weekend.”
“We’re not taking any chances. He’ll be transferred to Windhoek tomorrow. Shame you unseeded his retirement package. He’ll have no reason to want to return.”
“You mean an Angolan-diamond retirement?”
Jon nodded and held my hand out, admiring it. “But let’s not spoil the mood.”
I could tell that he noticed my ring was gone. I had taken it off in the night for some reason, another bad dream, probably. I had returned it to the basket on my nightstand, and when I reached for it in the morning, it didn’t feel right to put it back on. I held the closed basket in my hands and put it back without opening it. I was surprised he’d noticed so quickly.
“Something’s different.” He caressed my hand and looked up at me quizzically. “Missing.”
I pulled my hand away, embarrassed, not ready to talk about the feelings that prompted me to leave it off. I hadn’t expected to have to explain myself so quickly, so I took the easy way out. “I guess my ghost has moved on.”
“What haunts you is yourself, you know. Not a ghost.” He drew a circle around my ring finger and searched my expression. “Who am I kidding?” He looked away. “I don’t know a bloody thing about harnessing the wind.”
I hesitated. “Jon, I can finally look forward to something for the right reasons again. You gave me that.”
He looked at me with hopeful eyes. “So you’ll stay?”
I looked out at the empty floodplain. “What’s going to make the difference? Seems like there are always going to be poachers.”
“There will always be villains. But I’m not sure there will always be land. I vote for a policy that ensures the blighters have a home.”
We watched as a large herd of buffalo emerged onto the floodplain.
Jon played with my ring finger. “Do you think about him often?” he asked.
“I did—I do. Well, actually I’ve been thinking about my dad a lot these days.”
“Is he still among the living?”
“Very much so.”
Jon looked out at the buffalo. “Must be a fine upstanding citizen, producing a jewel such as yourself.” He hesitated, as if he was afraid to broach a new subject. “You know, Catherine, we could sure use a census pilot around here.”
I stared out at the buffalo and thought about Nandi and the women farmers who were desperate for a solution to their plight. Maybe I could help them keep elephants away from the farms. That thought gave me hope. I could stay here to help the elephants and the farmers. That gave me license to explore a relationship with Jon.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Jon said thoughtfully. “Staying for me isn’t enough, is it?”
I smiled. “Maybe I could also fly for the Red Cross.”
“Who would have thought I’d fall for a bloody martyr.”
“Why don’t we start with that date that you promised me?”
“Once I’m mobile, how about a trip down the Zambezi?” His eyes lit up. “In the meantime, I could start the Sated Rabbit right here. Hmm? Catherine? What do you think?” His mind started churning. “I would open with my mushroom stroganoff recipe, sautéed with a bit of butter and cream, oh, and maybe a sprig of rosemary….”
I laughed as I put my arms around him. We kissed, uncertain of our destiny, but with an absolute commitment to the present.