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I woke up warm. So warm and safe that I didn’t want to leave it and so snuggled in deeper, letting out a sigh of contentment. I could get used to this warmth.
There was a deep chuckle, and the warmth that I was currently trying to bury myself into shook. I snapped my eyes open and sat up in bed, blinking down at a sleepy looking Seth. A shirtless, sleepy Seth. Christ, that was a different kind of shock.
Once I realized that, yeah, I was sleeping next to Seth, I glanced around the room, confused. This was definitely not where I fell asleep. I looked down at my apparent bed partner.
“Good morning,” he said in a thick voice.
I jumped slightly as I looked into his sleepy, honey-brown eyes. They were especially light, popping against his black skin. “Good morning,” I whispered. “How did I get in here?”
“You crawled in about an hour ago.”
I raised an eyebrow, trying to still get my brain working properly. It felt muddled.
Seth chuckled.
“Why would I?”
He shrugged. “You seemed like you needed comfort. You crawled in and curled right up against me. After what happened last night, I figured you needed it. And I didn’t mind. You can sleep with me whenever you want.”
Seth’s gaze was straightforward and settled as he flashed me a sad smile. I looked away, his intensity doing weird things with my body. Unfortunately, the direction it took me was to his chest, and it took me a moment to tear my eyes away from his bare, muscular chest that I knew was hard and warm since I had plastered myself to him before I woke up. There was even a black dusting of hair that traveled down his navel, disappearing into his pajama pants. Needing safer ground to look at, I went back to his face.
He was almost too serious to look at. “I’m always here for you, Cadence,” he whispered, his hand reaching up and tracing my cheek with his fingertips.
All the emotions he’d made me feel since meeting him rolled through me. The way he made me tingle and laugh and feel safe. The way he was there for me, always checking on me. His concern. I leaned forward and kissed him softly, tentatively, so he could pull back if he didn’t want it. The emotions had been overwhelming, the need too much for me to hold back.
His hand gripped my waist, and he rolled me so I was on top of him. Seth let out a deep rumble that came from his chest as he pulled me close and deepened the kiss.
He wanted it too.
That thought confused me but quickly fled my mind with every other thought as he nipped my lip. I parted my lips, and he slipped his tongue inside, dancing with mine in a slow, sensual movement.
Holy shit. My first kiss and already we were French kissing. I liked it. I liked it very much, even if I felt clumsy at it.
We finally pulled away, breathing heavily. My lips tingled as I looked down at him, blinking, speechless. His eyes were dark with passion, his hands gripping my ass. I could feel how much he really wanted me.
Me.
The girl with the fucked-up past and crazy mother.
Me.
The girl who didn’t trust anyone and would rather push them away than talk to them.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“I’m confused.”
“About?”
I took Seth in. He was so calm, his hard body relaxed as he held me against him as if we did this every day. And I liked it. This position. This intimacy. I liked it very much. That scared me for a different reason.
“You. The kiss. I like you. A lot. Your friendship is important to me, and I don’t want to do something to ruin that.”
“It doesn’t have to be ruined. Friends can kiss too.”
I snorted. “I don’t do friends with benefits, mister.”
Seth’s chuckle sent warmth pooling low in my stomach as my skin heated. “Not necessarily that either.”
I frowned, thinking about his response. “Then why else would we kiss?”
Seth seemed to ponder something for a moment, his hand running up and down my arm. “Sometimes, people need answers, and the only way to find out is to just do it. Kissing can fall in that category.”
Raising an eyebrow, I asked, “And what exactly do you think I wanted to find out?”
“More like what has been building up inside of you?” he tossed back my way, never looking away.
I almost squirmed, but then remembered what position I was in. Squirming probably wasn’t a good idea.
“Do you want to know a secret? Not even all the guys know about it, only Toby.”
“That I don’t believe,” I said. “You all know everything about each other.”
Seth snorted. “That is pretty true, isn’t it?” He frowned slightly. “And you don’t know anything about us.”
I looked away, not wanting to get into that.
Seth must have picked up on my reluctance because he backtracked, “Something to discuss later, then. Still want to know the secret between Toby and me?”
“Yes.”
Seth grinned. “We made out once.”
“What?” My eyes widened as my voice squeaked.
Seth seemed so nonchalant about it. “He was curious and came to me about it. It was a couple years ago. So we made out, and I helped him figure his shit out.”
“Which was what?” I asked.
“I think his words were something like, ‘If I like dudes, you’d be at the top of the list.’ He wanted to know if guys did it for him.”
I leaned closer to Seth, waiting for him to finally tell me the results.
“Safe to say, he is not.”
“And you?” I asked.
Seth chuckled. “I’m not either. But I want you to know that no matter what that kiss means to you, I’ll go with it. If you kissed me because you were just overwhelmed with my morning sexiness, I’ll accept that. If you did it because you wanted to know if there was attraction between us, okay.” He leaned closer and lowered his voice. “And if you liked it and want to do it again, I’m here.”
I shivered from his voice, my lower stomach feeling all bubbly. “What if I never want anything to do with that again?” I asked.
“Then I back off and we remain friends. I like you, Cadence. A lot.” Seth finally glanced away, and his cheeks darkened. I realized he was becoming shy. His grip on me tightened briefly as he blew out a breath. “I’m not a stranger to relationships. I’ve been in a couple. And I have an amazing role model who taught me how important communication is.” He looked at me again. “So I’ll say this. I’ll be sad if you never want anything to do with me. I’ll be really sad if you decide we can’t even be friends over a kiss. If you want it to mean nothing, then it means nothing, and while I won’t forget it, I also won’t let it hang between the two of us. Just like I don’t let my makeout session with Toby hang between the two of us.”
“It’s that easy?” I whispered.
“It can be, if you want it to be.”
“What if I can’t put it behind me?” I asked. “What if I don’t want anything to do with you anymore?”
“Then I’ll nurse my broken heart and miss you.”
“It wouldn’t just be you disappearing from my life, though. Right?” I talked slowly, trying to get a full picture of the reality lying before me.
“I’d be lying if I said you’re wrong.”
Surprisingly, that hurt to think about. That if my relationship with Seth soured, so would my relationship with the others. I’d be all alone again, and right after I learned what it meant to have people around me.
It was simple. If I let this kiss push Seth and me apart, I’d not only lose him, I’d lose all the others too. And if I didn’t let it do anything? What would that mean? That we were something? I never thought of dating before. Frankly, it scared the crap out of me. Didn’t that mean I had to be vulnerable around them? That I had to open up to them and tell them all my secrets? I couldn’t do that.
“Cadence, you don’t have to think this hard.” Seth grabbed my hand and squeezed it, drawing my attention back to him and out of my whirling thoughts. “You have a big heart. You try to hide it, but I see it. You adore Calvin. You care for all those children you sang for at the charity event.” He chuckled. “You accepted Toby without ever batting an eye. Toby has a big personality, and he can be difficult to handle, but you accepted him as is without finding him annoying.”
“I—”
“I don’t plan to let you go. I have no intention of pushing you away. I already told you, that kiss can be what you want it to be, and it doesn’t have to be anything bad. I want you around more. The guys want you around more.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Even Bryan?”
“Bryan has a stubborn personality, but it’s only spurred on by his huge heart and instinct to make sure we’re okay. And while I haven’t talked to him about it, I know he cares about you too, in his own way.”
I snorted.
“We want you with us, Cadence. It’s okay if that confuses you. Take your time to think about it. Think about what you want from us, if we’re worthy of being your friends. I can say this, you are worth it, and we already consider you a friend of ours. That won’t change.”
“I can’t figure out if you’re asking me out or if you want to be my friend,” I admitted.
Seth chuckled, a smile stretching all the way across his face. “Both, but I’m okay with accepting only friendship for now. Don’t want to overwhelm you.”
The only response I could give him was a nod.
“Good. Now get ready. I’ll go to your house with you in case the asshole is still there and then you can go to school. You should be able to be there in time for lunch.”
“Thank you, Seth.”
He leaned up, pulling me into him, and gave me a peck on the cheek. “Anytime. I mean it, Cadence. You need me, I’m there.”
I crawled out of bed and went to the guest room I should have woken up in. I found some clean clothes and threw on the smallest pants and shirt I could find, though they were still too large for me. The entire time, I felt a little numb, unsure of what to even think at that moment.
Seth was already waiting for me when I came down the stairs.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Not really. I mean, he was in my house. What if he came back last night and is waiting for me? What if he comes back later on?”
“Cadence,” Seth said, grabbing my face, each hand on a cheek. He made me look up at him. “If you want, you can stay here until you’re comfortable going back home. The police are staying to guard your house to make sure he doesn’t come back, but if you don’t feel safe, stay here. Do you want to do that? I won’t let that asshole get to you.”
I sighed, my shoulders slumping with relief. “I would like that.”
“Then while we’re there, pack a bag, and I’ll bring it back here. I’m not working today. I called in.”
“You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Too late. So after school, come back here.”
“Thank you, Seth.”
He leaned over and kissed my forehead. I was quickly loving those sweet innocent kisses. “You’re welcome. Now let’s go.”
