Dear E.J. Whose Last Name I Forget:
You probably forgot me, too, but you and I went to middle school together. Then, about five years later, you and I also both worked at the local Kash n’ Karry grocery store. One day in the break room you used the word “dreamt.”
I said, “ ‘Dreamt’ isn’t a word. It’s ‘dreamed.’ ”
You said, “No. ‘Dreamt’ is a word.”
I said, “Nuh-uh. It’s ‘dreamed.’ ”
You said, “No. ‘Dreamt’ is okay, too.”
I said, “Nuh-uh. It’s ‘dreamed.’ It’s ‘dreamed.’ It’s ‘dreamed.’ You’re wrong.”
At that point I think you turned your chair 180 degrees and struck up a conversation with the coffeemaker.
I know that was a long time ago, but I’m writing to apologize and to confess something: Even while I was saying all that stuff about “dreamed,” I knew I might be wrong. I didn’t really know if “dreamt” was a word or not. I just had a feeling that if I said, “You’re wrong” over and over, eventually I’d win and you’d see that I could have been one of the cool kids in middle school all along.
Looking back, I still can’t figure out why the “dreamed”/ “dreamt” thing seemed so important. It probably had something to do with the fact that when we were in middle school you dated Brenda B. even though my mom and I both agreed that I was prettier. (Actually my mom never met Brenda. But I know her taste and I’m pretty sure I could have had her vote.)
Anyway, I thought you’d like to know that about eighteen years later I finally looked up the word “dreamt.” Turns out you were right. “Dreamt” is okay. My book says that British people often prefer “dreamt” and Americans prefer “dreamed,” but they’re both right. Sorry.
While I was in there (in the book, that is), I figured I might as well look up some other stuff I’ve been wondering about ever since our Kash n’ Karry days. So I looked up “sneaked” and “snuck.” I always thought that I understood this one, but now I see I was wrong here, too. Some people say “snuck” is okay, but most think it should be “sneaked.”
Another one I looked up was “preventive” and “preventative.” Turns out that the first one is right, the second one’s considered not too smart. So I bet I used it at some point. Same for “cohabit.” The extra syllable I put in sometimes, “cohabitate,” is wrong. And same for “orient” versus “orientate”—the shorter one’s better, at least in American English.
And since I just used the word “since,” I should probably admit that the word “since” put me in my place recently, too. I always thought that “since” was only for time periods. So I thought “since last week ” was okay, but “since you’re going to be at the store anyway” was wrong and should be changed to “because you’re going to be at the store anyway.” I’m not sure how that idea got in my head, either. “Since” really is okay in place of “because,” even though sometimes “because” is definitely better.
Anyway, if you’d have known me better during middle school, you might have noticed that I wasn’t around during high school. I kind of dropped out, and, long story short, by the time we were working together at Kash n’ Karry I was already planning on going back to school and already getting all college-headed or something. Yeah, something like that.
So I just wanted you to know that the whole “dreamt”/ “dreamed” thing made me realize I didn’t want to be the kind of jerk who gets into arguments about stuff even though I know I have no idea what I’m talking about. Well, actually it took about ten years for me to just start to realize that. I spent a lot of years walking around all puffed up over how people would say “spit” when they should have said “spat.” (Same for another word that rhymes with spit that I’m afraid I’ll get in trouble if I say here.) But eventually the whole lesson from the stupid “dreamed”/“dreamt” fight sunk in. So if you find out about this book, don’t tell people that I was once as hard-headed and ignorant as the people I’m ragging on and calling grammar snobs, k?
Thanks.
Stay as cool as you are.
June