15 January. A new term in a new year – a golden opportunity to get a peer’s heir – a worthy theological student – or to change entirely! But Oxford really is intoxicating.
26 April. Today was an important day. I went to tea with Rupert Gleadow in George Steer’s sitting room – it was littered with books and we had tea off a table covered with a skin – on his sofa were lovely leopard skins. We ate a large tea and talked much. We got on amazingly well – Rupert was far more human than I’d thought. It surprised me when he put his hand on mine – and when he asked me to kiss him I was even more amazed but I refused! Went to the Union in the evening too sleepy to realise the brilliance of Philip Guedalla’s speech.
28 April. Was in the Bodleian with Mary Sharp – coming out at lunchtime we met Rupert at the corner of Catte St. Neither of us knew quite what to say – a bad sign – or good. In the afternoon I had a letter from him in green ink, which cheered me up, as I was in the middle of a foul Sidney–Spenser essay. I saw him just before tea and he came back into St Hilda’s with me. After tea I returned to the Bod. – tried to finish my essay – but naturally I was thinking about Rupert the whole time.
29 April I met Rupert at Carfax at 10.15. We went into Stewart’s and had coffee – then we wandered down the Banbury Road and thereabouts in the pouring rain. When we were thoroughly wet we went to 47 and drank some sherry. I remember putting my arms round him and loving him, because he was very wet and shivering and looked at me so sweetly.
2 June. My 19th birthday. I worked – or rather tried to – in the Bod. till 12, when Rupert came for me. He was wearing his purple subfusc coat. We went out to Elliston’s and he bought me a heavenly scarf. Royal blue and orange. We went into St Hilda’s, sat on a seat, and because of the ever-present and watchful eyes, behaved very well. Dinner at Stewart’s with Miles and Rupert. Then Frankenstein at the Super – Miles laughed so I couldn’t be terrified. I loved stealing surreptitious glances at Rupert’s profile – and was very thrilled by him.
5 June. A fine morning – I went with Rupert up to Boars Hill – we went into a wood and sheltered from the showers under trees. He was very Theocritean and loving. I got a wee bit sick of it – but tried to please him as I was determined to treat him as kindly as possible as he’d Schools on the 9th.
7 June. In the evening we had a last do before Schools – Miles came too and it was great fun. Dinner at Stewart’s plus liqueurs, then The Case of the Frightened Lady at the Super. I felt sad but happy saying goodbye to Rupert. Sad because I thought I wasn’t going to see him for ages – so I thought – happy because I liked him so much.
13 June. I had a note from Rupert and Miles asking me to go to the flicks. I dashed to Carfax at 7.30 and we went to Goodnight Vienna at the Queener. It was lovely, and somehow appropriate. We sat at the back in the corner and I had two arms around me for the first time in my history. The flick was over at 10, so we stopped at the coffee stall by Cowley Place on our way back. We drank to each other in chocolate Horlicks.
15 June. In the afternoon went on the river with Rupert and Miles. We had tea at the Cherwell tea gardens. Much semi-nakedness to be seen on the river. We landed at a bank and Rupert dropped his watch in the water. He had to undress and fish for it – but didn’t get it.
16 June. Had my report in the morning, and a letter from R. on Air Squadron paper. The former amused me much – keen, etc. – I seem to give rather a good impression of myself! In the afternoon it was Rupert and Miles’Viva. In the evening I met R. at the corner of the Turl and he told me the joyous news that they’d both got Firsts, and gave me a letter which he was bringing, written in all different coloured inks and pencils. I was overjoyed!
19 June. In the morning Sharp and I went to the University sermon – Dr Alington. It was somewhat dull I thought and full of blaa and waffle. We prayed for Trinity a good deal – as he came from there. Went on the river in the afternoon. I found it thoroughly depressing, as it was crowded with townspeople, all of whom seemed to have gramophone records of ‘Ain’t it grand to be blooming well dead’.
20 June. Rupert and I drank chocolate at the Queener – and went on to 47. Oh blessed George Steer and his lovely leopard skins – I hope he gets a First! This kind of a Private Lives love scene was far better in reality than in anticipation. A somewhat hurried meal at Elliston’s – for at 2.15 we were taking George Steer and Geoffrey Grimwood to Ramsden in R.’s car. Both men are very typical of the House – particularly G.G. – in voice and dress. R. and I were very staid and sober. After we’d dropped them we drove on all over the place – Great Tew – Charlbury, where we had tea at a pub. Then we went back into Oxford plus the two Christ Church men and met Miles at 47. After drinking sherry we went to Stewart’s and the Super. I just got in for 10 o’clock.
21 June. Rupert came for me and we wandered about talking in broken English. We went into Trinity and Rupert telephoned Prof. Griffith. He kissed me in the telephone box, having heard that a man was progged for a similar offence!
22 June. We dined at Stewart’s (upstairs) and I felt in a v. sentimental, sad mood – mainly because the radio (or whatever it is) played ‘Auf Wiedersehen’. Then we went to 47 – finished up George Steer’s port. We all behaved rather appallingly and I was escorted back to St Hilda’s by 10. I felt very lonely as all my friends had gone down – and I was sleeping in my new room – which seemed very large and infested with moths!
23 June. Rupert and I went to buy some things for lunch – as we intended to take it with us on the river. We then took Miles up to Boars Hill as he had to see Prof. Griffith. Rupert and I went to a pub to get some gin and then waited for Miles in the car. There it was that Rupert said to me Marvell’s ‘To his Coy Mistress’ and ‘Definition of Love’. And I had never heard them before. The more one talks with him the more one realises that he really is brilliant – in all sorts of ways. Then on to the river, from the Cherwell Arms, where we drove in the car. Getting into the punt I half fell in – and Miles got his trousers entirely wet trying to rescue me. We had an amusing time getting dry. I lay on my tummy in the middle of the punt – Rupert punted and Miles sat at the other end with his trousers on the end of a paddle. I rushed back to St Hilda’s and changed, then we met at 131 Iffley Road and decided to dine out of Oxford. We went to the Spreadeagle at Thame – Lovely! Before dinner we wandered about in the charming garden – the flowers seem to grow at random but it is very well planned. Then we ate a marvellous dinner – at which everything ordinary (i.e. fish) tasted extraordinarily good. We finished with yellow Chartreuse – Rupert laughed at me because it made me cough.
24 June. Rupert and Miles came and we went off for lunch. In Stewart’s they played ‘Wien du Stadt meiner Träume’ – I heard it for the first time there. At the station I held Miles’ and Rupert’s hands tightly and gazed into their blue and brown eyes respectively. Then we said goodbye and I settled down to a sober journey home. A marvellous ending to a marvellous term.
July. The Long Vacation. Oswestry. At first I was bored but gradually settled down – letters from Rupert and Miles helped things considerably. On 8 July I went to Huyton for the weekend – it was fun seeing people again – but tiring having to look and be somewhat sophisticated and there was rather a lot of chapel. On 19 July Rupert sent me The Weekend Book most charmingly inscribed – and a long letter – one of the nicest I’ve ever had from him. He has bought an aeroplane.
15 September. On this day Rupert came. I went to meet him at 3.23, wearing a summer frock and a yellow jersey (it was a hot day) – feeling very excited. He arrived in his white shorts and not as disreputable as he said he’d be. I was pleased to find him about 20 times nicer looking than his photo.
16 September. We walked up to Llynclys Hill, and when up by Jacob’s Ladder found a convenient resting place and had our lunch there. Rupert had some beer (which I tasted) and I had Dry Ginger. We walked up again to the hill and made ourselves comfortable in the sun. We lay half asleep with our faces close to each other for a long time. We laughed out of sheer happiness. Had supper alone, which was lovely, we were both feeling excited and happy. Went to the flicks and saw Marie Dressier in Emma.
17 September. Went out to Pant on the 2 bus and up on to the hill. Seeing me run down a hill Rupert gave me the name Atalanta. I think we managed to behave fairly well thro’ supper, but I was still feeling ridiculous, and drank some beer out of a cup.
21 September. We talked a lot – or rather Rupert did and I listened – about his father and Trinity and lots of things. Before we went out he had made the suggestion that we should go to bed – we had much fun and a fight over that. It was a very cold evening and I felt very tired, but we went down Weston Lane and looked at the stars. I said that the happiness one got out of love was worth any unhappiness it might (and generally does) bring. I can’t remember what Rupert said but he wasn’t so sure about it not having had the experience I suppose.
22 September. I helped Rupert to pack – he went in a hat and looked about 17! I would have loved to go to the Lakes with him and Miles. It was seriously rather awful parting from him, we’d had such a heavenly week together. I’d never imagined it would be so good. I actually wept a bit!
9 October. Met Rupert in New College Lane at 12, and went back with him to his digs. Then we met Miles in Stewart’s and had lunch. A happy reunion – it was marvellous.
13 October. Went to the Bod. On the way back met Rupert in dark suit and white tie – he persuaded me to have lunch at the Randolph with his mother and brother Edmund. I was, of course, terrified, but my fur coat gave me some confidence! Mrs G. is very nice and talkative, not like Rupert in any way. Edmund is vaguely like him – uglier – but he has ‘personal magnetism’. We trailed into the Sheldonian where I explained various things such as the Proctor’s Walk. Miles was also having his degree – he and Rupert were the handsomest men there, as far as I could see. Then, when the ceremony was over, and we had admired their white fur, we adjourned to Fullers for tea. Edmund was funny and kept putting things into my hand (sugar, pennies) when I stretched it out in my characteristic way.
15 October. Today I must always remember I suppose. I went to tea with Rupert (and ate a pretty colossal one) – and he with all his charm, eloquence and masculine wiles, persuaded.… [Here several pages have been torn out.]
23 October. I went to see Rupert in the morning and stayed to lunch. We had a delightfully domesticated time over the fire and nearly went to sleep – then we had to go just before tea, as he was having it with Professor Myres. I went and had tea with my female friends, and went to St Mary’s in the evening.
3 November. Rupert called for me and we went for a long and energetic walk it being such a fine afternoon. I was hatless and Atalantesque in blue.
5 November. Guy Fawkes day. In the evening we ventured out – first we went along to Norham Gardens to call for some Bradfordians. (I was with Mary Sharp and Dorothy Pedley.) We took a bus and it nosed its way thro’ the Corn – which was very crowded. We took many buses and then plucked up courage to walk down the Broad where it met the Corn. We saw a lot of drunks though – one being carried in the Broad – shouting ‘Blast you, you bloody fools – you’re busting my braces!’ – also (when we had ventured into the Corn by Woolworth’s) one who called me Charlotte – two propping themselves up in the middle of the road. Nothing thrilling happened – people rushed about in crowds – everyone followed but it always seemed to be a false alarm. Very few fireworks were thrown. We were back by 11.10.