10. Excuses, excuses …

You might not think of yourself as a storyteller, but I bet if there was something you didn’t want to do you would be able to come up with a good story about why you couldn’t do it. This type of story is called an ‘excuse’ and most of us are really good at making them up when we need to.

An excuse may be true or completely made up. Having an element of truth in your excuse helps to make it sound more believable.

I have written quite a few stories that include or feature Andy coming up with ridiculously elaborate excuses. These include ‘Go to bed!’, ‘I am a robot’ and ‘A really, really good excuse’.

In ‘Go to bed!’—a story told completely in verse with footnotes—Andy comes up with every excuse he can possibly think of to avoid having to go to bed.

 

 

In the story ‘A really, really good excuse’, Andy’s excuse for being late for school is so elaborate that he has to sketch it out on the board to explain it fully. Andy’s excuse is a ridiculous tale involving …

tight underpants,

 

attempted burglary,

 

being locked in a prison cell,

 

a notorious criminal,

 

a daring jail break,

 

an invitation to join an international crime ring,

 

an underpants-expanding machine,

 

a trial and then a police escort to school.

Just Shocking!

Unfortunately, it takes Andy so long to deliver his excuse that by the time he has finished, so has school and everybody has gone home, including the teacher.

In ‘I am a robot’, Andy tries to get out of doing household chores by pretending he is a robot.

Just Shocking!

TRY THIS

Making up excuses

Choose one of the following items and write down ten excuses for why you are not able to do it.

• Go to bed

• Go to school

• Tidy your room

• Do your homework

• Finish this activity

… OR THIS

Conversation

Imagine somebody has just asked you to do one of the things on the list above. Write a conversation between the two of you in which you come up with every possible excuse for why you can’t possibly do that thing. At the same time, have the other person come up with a solution for each of your excuses. Be as serious—or as silly—as you like. (Note: the following example is at the sillier end of the scale!)

ME: I can’t sweep the floor.

ADULT: Why not?

ME: My leg is broken.

ADULT: Here, use this crutch!

ME: Gee, thanks … but I have to go to school.

ADULT: No you don’t.

ME: Why not?

ADULT: Because it’s Saturday.