Phoebe needed to promise Jocasta a handful of times that she would not harm herself before her friend believed that she could be trusted to be left alone.
‘It sounds odd but after the excitement and celebrations of Armistice Day, I think it dawned on me that Archie really would not be coming home,’ Phoebe said apologetically.
‘But he still might.’
Phoebe heard the doubt in her friend’s voice. ‘It’s kind of you to say so, but I think we both know that the chances of that happening now are low.’ She wanted to change the subject. She was fed up with focusing on herself and her stupidity that nearly cost her friend’s life. ‘I can’t believe I’ve been here almost a year now and that it will soon be Christmas, can you?’
Jocasta shook her head. ‘No. Another Christmas, but this time the country is at peace. With all that’s happened, we still have a lot to be thankful for, don’t you think?’
Phoebe did. ‘I’m so ashamed about what I did, Jocasta. Truly.’
Jocasta took Phoebe’s hand in hers. ‘Don’t be. I’ve been where you were then, and it’s a dark place. I’m just relieved I found you in time to stop you. Let’s forget about it now and concentrate on our futures, shall we?’
Phoebe wasn’t sure she wanted to think about her future just yet, but nodded. If Jocasta could keep going, then the very least she could do was to try to do the same.
‘I thought I’d take a walk into the village,’ Phoebe said, needing to get out of the house and take some exercise. ‘May I fetch anything for you while I’m out?’
‘Would you like me to come with you?’
Phoebe saw the uncertainty in her friend’s face. ‘No. You stay here with Bryony where it’s warm. I promise you I’ll be fine. I have no intention of repeating my silliness, so there’s no need to worry about me. I really do wish to take a walk into the village.’
‘Then I’ll give you a small list of items that I need to restock the cupboard. If you don’t mind watching Bryony for a moment, I’ll go and fetch it.’
Bryony gave a frustrated yell.
Phoebe looked to see the cause and saw that one of the building blocks she was playing with was out of her reach. ‘You fetch your list,’ she told Jocasta. ‘I’ll help this little one.’
Phoebe bent down to retrieve a green building block from under the coffee table that they had pushed to the side so that Bryony could play. She placed it in Bryony’s outstretched hands and ruffled her wavy hair. ‘There you go.’ She watched the little girl play and wondered what she might be when she grew up. ‘You could build houses, with all the practice you’ve had stacking those,’ she smiled. ‘Or maybe even…’ The thought stuck in her head. She had been going to suggest that maybe Bryony could design houses. Be an architect. She swallowed the lump at the back of her throat. Dear Archie. She hated to think of all the things he would now never do, like getting married and having a family. It was all too cruel.
‘Right, then,’ Jocasta said, entering the room and interrupting her thoughts. She handed Phoebe the basket and a list. ‘You’ll find my ration book and my purse in there as well.’
Phoebe lifted the purse from the basket and handed it to Jocasta. ‘I’ll pay for this.’ She raised her hand to stop Jocasta arguing. ‘I need a few things for myself, and I’m sure it’s my turn to pay for the food.’
‘No, it isn’t.’ Jocasta scowled at her.
‘It is. I have my wages from when I was working, and as you and Geoffrey won’t allow me to give you anything for my keep, the very least I can do is help with the food I’m eating and a few other small bits and pieces.’ She frowned. ‘I’m not buying those things if you don’t let me pay for them,’ she said, waving the list in her hand.
‘Fine. If you insist.’
Phoebe stood. ‘I’ll see you both later, then.’
She left the room and moments later was walking down the lane towards the village. There was a fresh breeze and she heard someone cough behind her. Recalling stories about the feared three-day fever that many of the soldiers seemed to have brought back with them from France, Phoebe hurried on a little, wanting to distance herself from the person behind her in case they had it. She had read news reports that some people who had seemed perfectly healthy at breakfast time were dead before supper. The thought frightened her.
How odd to be scared of an illness so soon after attempting to take her own life. Her actions didn’t make much sense, but then nothing seemed to anymore. She thought back to Celia’s last letter, telling her that her work at King’s College Hospital was keeping her busy and for Phoebe not to consider travelling to London, or anywhere else on crowded transport, if she could possibly help it.
Phoebe felt the familiar clenching of her heart and pushed herself to walk a little faster.
* * *
Returning from the shop, she breathed in the salty air and attempted to focus on a robin that she spotted perched on a camellia bush growing next to the front wall of a cottage she was nearing.
She reached the end of the lane and turned left to walk the final hundred or so yards, seeing a man stopping with his hand on the garden gate at Jocasta’s. He was wearing a hat and when he removed it and raked his fingers through his hair, she thought it was Archie. Stunned, she stared at him. Was her tormented mind playing tricks on her again?
‘Archie?’ she whispered, unable to give volume to her voice. She began to run towards the house, desperate to reach him. He knocked on the front door as she pulled back the low metal gate, just as Jocasta opened the front door and cried out.
‘Archie?’ Jocasta’s face drained of colour and Phoebe saw her clutch at the doorframe.
Phoebe’s heart plummeted as she saw him up close. She knew this wasn’t the man she loved. ‘Louis,’ she said quietly as she walked up the pathway to join them.
He turned to her. ‘Hello, Phoebe.’
She looked into his sad eyes and felt guilty. ‘Louis.’
Jocasta looked as if she was about to pass out.
‘It’s not Archie, Jocasta,’ Phoebe whispered, putting her arm around her friend’s shoulders.
‘I’m Louis,’ he said gently. ‘Archie’s twin brother.’
‘Let’s go inside,’ Phoebe said, leading her friend into the house without waiting for her to answer.
‘Why are you here? Has something happened?’ Phoebe noticed how pale and exhausted he looked.
‘Phoebe?’ Jocasta said, holding something out towards her. ‘This telegram came for you a little earlier. Maybe it has something to do with your visit?’ she said, glancing at Louis before ushering him into the living room.
‘Aren’t you going to open it?’ Jocasta whispered, waving for Phoebe to follow her to the kitchen.
‘Do you mind if I leave you to make the tea alone?’ Phoebe said, wanting to know why Louis had rushed to see her.
‘Of course not.’
She left her friend busying herself with the kettle and hurried to join Louis, ripping open the telegram as she entered the room.
‘It’s from Celia,’ she said, one hand resting on her chest as she read her sister’s words. Phoebe could hardly believe her eyes:
Phoebe Stop Come immediately Stop Archie alive at King’s College Hosp Stop Very sick but alive Stop Love Celia
‘Oh my God, Louis!’
‘That’s what I came here to tell you! I received notice from the War Office.’
Phoebe nodded and let out a sob before going to Louis and taking him in her arms, both crying on each other’s shoulders.
‘What’s happened?’ Jocasta asked.
‘Phoebe has had an enormous shock.’
‘A good one,’ Phoebe said to Jocasta when her friend misunderstood and covered her mouth with her hand. ‘Archie’s alive, Jocasta. That telegram was from my sister and Louis came to tell me he’d received word as well.’
‘I’m so happy for you both,’ Jocasta said, bursting into tears. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying.’
‘Because you’re happy!’ Phoebe said, still unable to completely take in the news she had just heard.
Louis swallowed and then, clearing his throat, wiped one eye with his fingers. ‘I can’t believe how lucky we are to have him back, Phoebe.’
‘Neither can I,’ she whispered. Phoebe cried out and jumped to her feet. ‘We must go to him immediately.’ Before either of them argued, Phoebe ran out of the room and up the stairs.
She needed to think. If Archie was in London then she needed to pack spare clothes to wear. She would stay with him for as long as it took for him to recover, as she had no intention of returning to Cornwall without him. Or leaving him ever again.
She grabbed her valise, and after hurriedly packing a spare skirt, top, underclothes and stockings, Phoebe took her wash bag and rammed it in on top. She was about to close the bag when she realised she had forgotten Archie’s notebook. She had no idea if he still had the one he carried back to France with him and didn’t want him to be without one. Relieved she hadn’t forgotten it, Phoebe quickly opened her bedside drawer and took it out, pushing it down one side of her valise before running back downstairs to join the others.
‘Come along, Louis we must go.’
‘I know for a fact that you have at least an hour before the next train going in that direction leaves the station,’ Jocasta said calmly. ‘So there’s no need to race out of here. Drink your tea, you’ll be glad of it in a few hours’ time.’ She looked at Louis. ‘I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but you look exhausted. Would you eat a sandwich if I made one for you?’
He thought for a moment and then nodded. ‘I would. Thank you.’ He caught Phoebe’s eye. ‘Mrs Chambers is right,’ he said. ‘We may as well wait here instead of out in the cold on a station platform.’
‘I suppose that does make sense,’ Phoebe said, wishing the train was due to leave earlier. The journey was going to be long and arduous, she knew that much already, having travelled on that journey with Archie once before.
‘I’ll make it now.’ Jocasta stroked Phoebe’s shoulder, staring at her thoughtfully.
‘What’s wrong?’ Phoebe saw her friend battling with herself, trying to make up her mind about something. ‘Tell me.’
Jocasta looked away and groaned before looking Phoebe in the eye once more. ‘I know you’re desperate to see Archie. Of course you are. But I’m concerned about you going into a hospital in London.’
Phoebe frowned. ‘It’s where he is, Jocasta.’ She began to suspect why her friend was concerned. ‘You’re worried about this flu virus, aren’t you?’
Jocasta nodded. ‘I am, and I know that if it was my darling Ronnie in that hospital bed I’d also be rushing to him, but I’m frightened you’ll be exposing yourself to this dreadful sickness.’
Phoebe rested a hand on her friend’s shoulder. ‘I understand your fears and would probably be warning you off if you were the one about to go to London, but I’d rather take the risk of being infected and at least seeing Archie again, than …’ she hesitated, unable for a moment to put her fears into words, ‘than risk the chance of him succumbing to an infection or something else. We don’t know what his injuries are, but I’ve worked with enough patients to know that it’s sometimes the ones you don’t expect to die who do.’
Jocasta gave her a sad smile. ‘I understand, but I had to say something.’
‘I know you did, and I appreciate you caring about me. Truly, I do.’
Jocasta sniffed. ‘Right then, I’d better make those sandwiches.’
Phoebe watched her friend leave the room and wished she wasn’t leaving Jocasta so unexpectedly. Hearing about Archie must have shaken Jocasta and probably made her think of Ronnie, and the knowledge that this could never happen to her.
‘I can’t believe he’s alive,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘My darling Archie is alive and I’m going to see him.’
‘We both are,’ Louis said.
She needed to know more about Archie’s situation. ‘Do we know how badly injured he is?’
‘He’s in a bad way, I believe, but that’s all I know.’
‘You’ll need to wrap up warm,’ Jocasta shouted from the kitchen.
‘We are,’ Phoebe replied, desperate to get going.
Jocasta returned and handed Louis the sandwiches, tied in greaseproof paper held together with string. ‘Promise you’ll send me a telegram as soon as you’ve seen him,’ she said, taking hold of Phoebe’s shoulders.
‘I will.’
‘And remember you can both come back here any time and for as long as you wish.’
‘I know. Thank you,’ Phoebe said, unable to help the tears she felt running down her cheeks.
Jocasta wiped them away with her thumbs, then kissed Phoebe’s cheek and pulled her tight. ‘I’m going to miss you so much. But my tears are happy tears. I’m so happy one of us is getting our happy ending.’
Phoebe hoped Jocasta was right. Surely fate wouldn’t be so cruel as to bring him back to her, only to snatch him away again?
‘Come along,’ Louis said, catching Phoebe’s eye. ‘We’d better get going, otherwise the pair of you will upset each other.’
As they walked to the station, Phoebe replayed Jocasta’s words over in her head. She had got her Archie back, and whatever state he was in, she would love him just as much as she did before he was injured. What she was frightened about was how he would react to whatever injuries he had sustained.
‘He’ll be fine,’ Louis said, sensing her thoughts. ‘Whatever’s happened to my brother, you and I love him more than enough to ensure that he can cope with it.’
Phoebe only hoped Louis was right.