| |
Eden paced the room because she didn’t know what else to do, even after a whole night of thinking and worrying. Sera was napping and the only person she could call was her mother after of course, calling Lisa to chew her out.
“You told him where to find me?” Eden went into her bedroom, so she could loudly hiss the words at her friend without waking the baby.
“Who?” Lisa sounded genuinely confused.
“Jacob,” Eden stated flatly. “He found my house and now he knows about Sera.”
“Oh no, no. Not from me,” Lisa said. “Me and Jordan haven’t spoken in months, you know, bad breakup and all that.”
“He was supposed to be in some blissful marriage in Japan,” Eden said helplessly. “Now, he’s telling me his mother died and he just found out what she said to me. Then I denied that Seraphine was his...”
“Eden!” Lisa laughed. “That baby could be his clone with light brown skin. She literally has his eyes.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Eden muttered. “Now what do I do?”
“What does he want to do?” Lisa asked. “Does he want partial custody?”
“We didn’t discuss any of that,” Eden answered feeling helpless. “If he’s back, he’s in Texas, and I’m not moving back...”
“You got some logistics to work out.” Lisa sighed. “Is he gone... did he say if he was coming back?”
“You are asking questions I have no answers for,” Eden admitted. “I have to call my mom and let know her know, so she can smooth the way with my dad.”
“Oh yeah, Dad Kinsley was not pleased about the missing baby daddy,” Lisa said. “Maybe letting your dad kick his butt will put some sense in his head.”
“I just wanted a quiet first Christmas with my baby,” Eden moaned. “Sorry I jumped down your throat. Now I need to call my mother and get her over here.”
“That is not going to be a hard task.” Lisa laughed. “Your mom would move in to be with Sera if she could.”
Eden smiled. “Yeah, I know, it’s like I don’t exist. I will keep you updated.”
“I know you will, talk soon,” Lisa said. “Sending love and kisses to her highness for me.”
Next, was calling her mother and when Lee Kinsley retuned to the house, Eden related the whole story, even the parts she never told her mother. Eden watched her mother’s face as she spoke, looking for signs of anger or disappointment.
Instead, when Eden was finished talking, the older woman sat for a few minutes digesting the information. She was always the calm one. “Well, that is a lot isn’t it?” her mother said.
“Yeah it is... what do you think Dad will do?” Eden asked.
“Retired police officer, his baby girl who gave him a grandchild he dotes on, then the father of said baby comes back,” Lee mused gently. “I’ll keep an eye on his guns.”
“Mom, seriously!” Eden said dismayed.
Lee Kinsley laughed. “Your father as has a temper, especially when someone messes with his baby girl. Do you still have feelings for this Jacob?”
“Seeing him again, brought it all back, especially...” Eden shook her head and sat down. “I had settled myself into thinking he was married, there was just me and Sera to worry about.”
“And now he’s back and you don’t know what to feel,” her mother said knowingly.
“Mom, he looked at her like she was perfection and I could only think about the months she’d missed...they’d missed together.” Eden sighed helplessly.
“And you are in there somewhere,” her mother spoke as she came and sat next to Eden. “Sweetheart, if you still love him, why can’t you give this another try?”
Eden gave a sad laugh. “I tried that once and got the rug pulled out from under me. Yes, his mother lied, but God knows what other family or secrets he has hidden in the woodworks. It’s not just me that can be hurt right now, its Sera.”
“You can’t deny Sera knowing her father,” Lee Kinsley pointed out. “That wouldn’t be fair either.”
“I know mom.” Eden heard the tinkle of her phone and picked it from the coffee table. It was a number she didn’t recognize but the Texas area code made it clear who it was.
She pressed the connect button and put it on speaker, “Hello Jacob.”
“Hi, I um wanted to know if I could come by this evening to see Sera and you,” Jacob said hesitantly. “I want to run some plans by you and see what you think.”
Eden looked over at her mother who nodded a bit too eagerly. She finally answered, “Yes, that would be good. Um, my parents will be here is that okay?”
“I would like to meet them, yes,” Jacob said without skipping a beat.
“Does seven sound okay?” Eden asked. “Sera is usually down by eight, she’s not sleeping through the night yet, so I’m up about one...” Eden cut her words off knowing she was babbling.
“Seven is perfect, I’ll see you then,” Jacob replied. “Thank you for this.”
“See you in a bit,” Eden answered not knowing what else to say.
“He sounds charming,” her mother spoke up after she disconnected the call. “I guess I should start cooking something, I mean he does know you can’t cook.”
“Yes mom, he did all the cooking, he’s amazing at it,” Eden answered while wringing her hands. “Mom, I’m terrified of this.”
“I know you are,” her mother said comfortingly. “Some of the worst jumps are the ones we can’t see through the darkness and fear to take. But when we do, it’s beautiful and the best ride of our lives. Besides, he should be worried about your father now, as he’s the one who has to be won over tonight.”
“Oh god,” Eden muttered.
The baby woke up in her bassinet with a soft wail because she got up cranky until she figured out where she was.
She went quiet and Eden’s mother was by the bassinet in an instant. “I think this one needs a new diaper,” Lee Kinsley said. “She’s making a poopy face.”
“I’ll handle it because you said you’re making dinner.” Eden walked over to the portable crib and grimaced. “Oh yeah, come on pudding baby, let’s go get cleaned up for your dad who is coming to visit.”
“Exciting, exciting!” Her mother cheered happily walking into the kitchen.
“Glad someone is happy,” Eden muttered.
Her mother had the house smelling like homemade biscuits in no time and called Eden’s father as well. By the time he showed up and Eden opened the door, she couldn’t tell if he was happy, sad or indifferent.
Steve Kinsley had a serious face, a cop face that revealed nothing. Yet, when he saw the baby in Eden’s arms, his face visibly softened when he stepped across the threshold into the house. “There’s my peanut, the sweetest peanut in the world,” he crooned taking the baby.
“Hi Dad, your daughter is here too,” Eden said with a smile.
“I see you, this one smells like baby, and is much more appealing,” he teased a smile pulling his lips upward and he used a free hand to pull her into a side hug. “Hey, baby girl.”
“That’s better.” Eden took a minute to press her nose into his chest and feel the same security she felt as a little girl growing up. He always smelled like his aftershave lotion, peppermint and sometimes a cigar or a hint of whiskey. This time, she caught the hint of his cigar which meant he’d gone out with his retired buddies earlier that afternoon. “Mom’s going to smell that cigar, Dad,” Eden said in a low voice.
“Not if I have new baby smell all over me,” He actually did smile this time, broad and rare for the man she called father.
“Using your granddaughter as a cover,” Eden teased shaking her head.
Her father sat down with the baby and commented mildly, “I hear we’re having a guest for dinner.”
Eden glanced at him. “And how do you feel about that?”
He shrugged. “We shall see.”
“Dad, no threats subversive or not, he didn’t know about Sera and I stopped all contact after his mother—”
“Your mom filled me in on the phone, while we were golfing,” Steve Kinsley answered. “Took down my average.”
“Dad, seriously.” Eden shook her head and laughed. “At least, you’re not threatening to kill him.”
“That is still on the table, I’m just not mentioning it.” Sera grabbed her grandfather’s finger and tried to put in in her mouth. “You need to get some waffles for her to chew on, the cold and the texture will sooth those gums instead of her trying to eat my fingers.”
“Is that healthy, I mean won’t a chuck come off?” Eden asked worriedly. “I have teething rings I can put in the fridge.”
“Nah, by the time it defrosts, you’ll see anyway.” He lifted her baby high. “Tell your mama it worked on her just fine. She didn’t need any fancy-schmancy teething rings.”
“Crazy man.” Eden kissed the top of his head.
Her mother came out of the kitchen while wiping her hands. “Okay, we have dinner ready, a lovely seared roast, mashed potatoes, and sautéed asparagus. There is a triple chocolate cake cooling and I’ll do a chocolate ganache with cherries in about ten minutes.”
“How come he gets the good chocolate cake and we’ve never met him?” Her father demanded to know.
“We are making a good impression, Dear.” Her mother pressed a kiss on her father’s lips. “And you promised to be nice.”
“I made no such declaration,” he stated firmly. “I said I would be polite.”
Promptly at seven, her doorbell rang.
Eden smoothed her hands down the front of her jeans to get rid of the clammy nervous dampness. She opened the door.
Jacob stood in the doorway, looking as delicious as ever. His hair seemed a bit longer, which she hadn’t noticed that before.
Maybe it was because she was too busy being terrified that he wanted to take her baby.
His eyes were kind, excited and so much more emotions swirled in their dark depths. Jacob wore a dark suit jacket over a blue button-down shirt, black slacks that matched his coat. and in his hands, he held flowers and an assortment of boxes.
“Hi Jacob,” Eden said looking up at him. “Come on in.”
“Thank you,” he answered politely. Jacob entered the living room that felt much smaller with him in it.
Eden had almost forgotten how much of a presence he was by stature and his personality. He was able to make her feel like she was the most priceless piece of art in the world. But that glass house had been shattered instantly after talking to his mother.
“These are my parents, Steve and Lee Kinsley,” Eden said hating the formality.
“Nice to meet you both.” Jacob extended a hand after trying to juggle the packages and flowers then shook first her mothers and then father’s hand. “Sorry I went a little overboard.”
“There is no such thing, let me help you.” Her mother smiled and took some of the packages.
“These are for you Eden.” Jacob handed her the flowers.
She looked down at the bloom of roses and lilies. “They are very beautiful, thank you, I’ll go put these in water.”
Lee Kinsley plucked the bouquet of flowers from her daughter’s hand. “I can do that and get dinner on the table. You go open the packages Jacob brought... Is it okay if I call you by your first name?”
“Have a seat,” Eden encouraged.
“Yes of course,” Jacob answered. “Mrs. Kinsley, you may call me whatever you wish. You both are the grandparents of my daughter.”
“So, tell me Jacob,” his father said casually. “I don’t see how a man goes to Japan and doesn’t even try to find the woman he was in love with. Sounds to me, you had the means and just gave up.”
“Dad wow, no...” Eden began.
“I can answer this.” Jacob looked at her directly. “I feel you should all know what happened since then. I did in fact search for her, Sir. But your daughter meant not to be found and I didn’t know about her family being in Arizona. It was my intent to hire an investigator but in Japan, I hit the ground running for our tech company and then my mother got ill. To try to appease her, I tried to be the son she wanted me to be. I even gave in and met the girl she wanted me to marry and her family. That did not go well, because I couldn’t stop thinking about Eden and after my mother died, I actively began to look for her.”
“Did you wait for your mother to die, so she wouldn’t still disapprove of Eden?” Her father asked bluntly.
Eden felt her heart drop even more at her father’s direct question.
“No sir,” Jacob answered. “In our culture, as the oldest and the only son, it was my duty to see to her until she passed. To honor tradition and her, I became that person and made sure the rest of her life was one of peace. Then I dealt with mine.” He focused on Sera who was busy trying to get her grandfather’s watch with tiny uncoordinated fingers. “If I had known Sir, it wouldn’t have been a question. I would’ve been here for Eden and my daughter. It breaks me to know I missed watching her grow in her mother’s belly and her birth. But now, I’m here and I will not be leaving again.”
“Jacob, don’t say that,” Eden pleaded. “Things happen in life and I’m not dropping my life or my work to chase behind you.”
“I have no intention of asking you to leave,” he answered. “This is part of why I wanted to see you today. I have made arrangements to move to Arizona. Work will be done remotely, and travel will happen if or when necessary.”
“You can’t uproot your whole life, Jacob.” Eden couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“And yet, I have,” he answered mildly. “There is nothing in Texas to hold me there. You and my child are in Arizona and here is where I will be. I know you don’t trust me right now Eden, but we will get to that place again. So many walls were brought up between us but yet, I found you. This beautiful baby you blessed us with.... I’m still amazed. I’ve been called a businessman, tech genius and now, the most honorable is father. Now, it’s time for us and you will see, I mean to earn your love again.”
“Well, that was a mighty speech,” her father said after silence reigned for a few moments. “I look forward to seeing if you will actually stand by your words.”
“I intend to sir,” Jacob said with certainty.
Eden felt shaky after his speech. It was something she didn’t know how to deal with. “What’s all these boxes?” she asked as her mother placed the flowers in a crystal vase.
“Some are traditional gifts that would be given in japan, some of the others I just went shopping and picked out cute little girl things,” Jacob admitted. “This gold envelope should go first.”
Eden opened the gold envelope with elegant calligraphy on the outside. Inside was a check with more zeros than would ever be in her bank account. “I can’t and won’t take your money,” Eden said feeling as if this was some kind of payoff for the last year.
“In Japanese culture, it is one of the traditional customs to offer the new family money to bless the birth of their child,” Jacob said. “Part can be kept for family needs and then the parents will share half of what was given to gift another.”
“So, what do I do with twenty thousand dollars?” Eden asked.
Steve Kinsley coughed. “Whoa!”
“You can place half in a trust for Sera and donate the rest to charity?” he said hopefully.
Eden nodded stiffly. “That sounds good.”
“Do you want to hold your daughter?” her father asked Jacob. “You keep looking at her like you want to reach out and take her.”
“I do,” Jacob admitted with a smile. “Just a little bit worried about if her grandpa may throw a punch.”
Steve Kinsley laughed. “Take your daughter, son.”
Jacob lifted the baby into his arms and a sigh of contentment escaped him.
Eden watched how he interacted with the baby, showing her toys and clothes from the boxes that Eden opened. Some of them were totally cute and made her smile, like onsies and socks rolled up to look like sushi. Another was a traditional tea set for Sera’s first meal. Jacob explained that is was his from his birth that he was now passing on to his daughter.
Dinner was more casual, with her parents asking questions and Jacob filling them in about his life and other happenings. All the while, she was acutely aware of the man that sat across her table while their baby slept in her bassinet.
After dessert when Jacob and her mother were done comparing recipes and spices. With warm goodbyes her parents then went home.
She was acutely aware of being alone with him and Eden didn’t know what should happen next.
He was now on the floor watching Sera while she enjoyed tummy time before her bath.
Eden sat on the sofa across from him and leaned on her elbows to watch their interaction.
Jacob laughed when she made a drool bubble and kicked her little legs. “She is absolutely amazing,” he said. “Was it an easy birth?”
“Easy like birthing a watermelon.” Eden laughed. “This chunk monster here was almost nine pounds. I could be to blame for the excessive toasted sandwiches I ate.”
“Cravings?” Jacob asked.
“Like a fiend, with fried onions and pickles on everything.” Eden laughed. “Not just pickle slices but fried pickle slices.”
“I have never had a fried pickle,” he commented. “Heard about the trend, never had a chance to taste one.”
Eden shook her head. “And you lived in Texas.”
The baby let out a wail of unhappiness that turned their attention back to her. The comfortable feeling to be laughing and talking with him made Eden more nervous that she was easily falling back into loving him and wanting him. Lord, she hoped she’d locked those emotions away and they could just co-parent. “Time for her bath and bottle before bed.” Eden moved to pick Sera up.
“Do you still breastfeed?” Jacob asked.
Why did that question maker her warm in all the right—wrong places? “I do but she has bottles as well, she is six months old and I’ll be weening her off the breast completely soon,” Eden managed to say. “Bottles at night helps her sleep better.”
He cleared his throat. “That’s good.”
“It won’t take long to bathe her. Do you want to wait and give her the bottle?” Eden asked hesitantly.
“That would be amazing.” Jacob stood. “Do you need me to do anything?”
Eden smiled. “No, we pretty much have a routine down.”
“One, without me,” Jacob said knowingly. “I missed six months of watching her figure out what daytime and nighttime is. Finally figuring out whose faces belong to whom...”
“We’ll be out in about thirty minutes,” Eden said quickly and walked down the hall. Her emotions were in flux and she needed to put some space between them. Now Jacob was back in her life, so would he want to take the baby for half the day or overnight? Eden started to panic because she definitely wasn’t ready to leave her baby with anyone overnight, not even her parents could convince her to let them watch her, so she could take a breath for twenty-four hours.
She talked herself calm while bathing the Sera and sang the bathtub songs that they made up while watching her baby smile. It made Eden’s heart ache sweetly, the love that filled her when Sera looked at her with such love and trust. She couldn’t deny Jacob that, it wouldn’t be fair for him or their daughter.
Dressed in her little yellow duckie pajamas and smelling of her bath wash and baby powder. Eden took the baby back out to her father.
Jacob had taken off his coat and was sitting on her sofa waiting for them return.
“She likes the rocker recliner,” Eden said handing him the baby. “I’ll get her bottle ready for you.”
In the kitchen, she could hear him talking to be the baby in English and in Japanese. Eden was sure the words of love translated the same in both languages. With the warm bottle in hand, she went back out to Jacob and their daughter. “Put this burp cloth on your shoulder and this bib under her neck. She tries to guzzle down her milk and she leaks from the corners because she’s a greedy pudding baby. The other one is for when you burp her, so she doesn’t spit up on your good clothes.”
Jacob took the bottle with a husky laugh. “She can do whatever she pleases, I am okay with it.”
“See, now you can’t be spoiling her,” Eden said sitting close by. “Then mom is the bad cop and dad is the good cop. When she grows up, she will know how to play us against each other.”
“How could you not spoil her, look at her?” Jacob teased. “I understand the good daddy bad mommy scenario.” He watched the baby drink her bottle.
Eden noted how Sera’s eyes were fixed on her father.
He started to sing to the baby in Japanese, a soft lullaby that combined with the milk and the gentle rock of the recliner. The baby’s eyes grew heavy and with the bottle empty, Jacob wiped her mouth gently.
“Now put her up over your shoulder,” Eden instructed in a low voice. “Pat her back lightly until she burps and then we can put her down. You’ll have to put her down, if I take her, she’ll wake up.”
“Like this?” Jacob asked tentatively while tapping her small back.
Eden nodded.
Soon, they were rewarded with a burp that made Jacob grin like he’d just won the lottery. He got up gently.
She led him down the hall to the nursery and watched him carefully put her on her back in the crib. Eden put on the nightlight that made starts on the ceiling and left the door cracked before they went back down the hall.
“Was it difficult?” Jacob asked and then elaborated, “After having her I mean and being on your own.”
“I had my mom to help but for the first few weeks, she cried then I couldn’t figure out what she wanted, so I cried.” Eden smiled ruefully. “Sleep deprivation and feeling like you were failing didn’t go well, but we got through that and now, we run like a well-oiled machine.”
At the front door, Jacob turned to her. “Why didn’t you tell me? Reach out to me, Eden I would’ve come.” His voice intense.
“And leave your ailing mother?” Eden shook her head. “I don’t need that on my conscience.”
He grabbed her shoulders and whispered fiercely, “We would’ve worked it out. You should’ve told me, the pregnancy, my mother’s deception, all of it.”
“I can’t apologize for running,” Eden said defiantly. “We really didn’t know each other, a few weeks of sex and dreams...”
“Our dreams,” Jacob said huskily. “Together.”
“Don’t Jacob,” she whispered feeling tears threaten to slip from her eyes.
“Don’t what? Love you, want you, need you in my life like the next breath I draw into my lungs?” Jacob asked. “Because that won’t ever happen.” He didn’t wait for an answer, instead Jacob took her lips in a kiss.
The kiss brought every touch, every caress right back into her mind. That bullshit box she locked them away in didn’t do a thing and it all crashed over her in waves. He speared his tongue into her mouth and her knees went weak. Being molded against his body and feeling completely decimated by his kiss, Eden felt her reserve weakening and she knew she had to pull away.
She put her hand on his chest and pushed him away. “You should go.”
“You don’t want me to,” Jacob said.
Eden looked at him and repeated the words, “You should leave...please.”
Jacob sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “I love you Eden and I won’t ever stop saying that. I hope you’ll see the time we didn’t spend together was stolen from us. I want to build a life with our daughter and you. I won’t give up, my moon, don’t expect me to.” With those words, he slipped out the door closing it behind him.
Eden lifted a trembling hand to her lips. She replayed his words in her head as she locked up and wondered if because of her actions, the stolen time was because of her.