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“How?” Jacob asked incredulously of the baby who lay staring at him on the changing table. “How does this come out of you and all you get is milk? It’s like a level three bio-hazard down here, Princess.”
She smiled around chewing her hand as if she understood his words, like she was behaving and not kicking her legs, so he could change her.
He wrinkled his nose and made funny faces at her, making small giggles escape her. Lifting her into his arms after he was done, Jacob bounced her. He called Jay on his cell and put it on speaker as he took the baby back to the living room.
“Hey Jacob, how’s it going?” Jay answered.
In the background, Jacob could hear the sound of the hospital, including someone being called on the intercom. “I need to know if my baby is broken,” Jacob said bluntly.
Jay’s voice turned instantly amused as he asked, “How so?”
“Her diapers, I mean are they supposed to be this...” He didn’t know a word to fill in there.
“...Pungent?” Jay questioned.
“That... that’s the word,” Jacob agreed.
“What did she have to eat?” Jay asked.
“Milk and strained peas,” he answered easily.
“Then there you are, I mean with just milk, it’s pretty bad,” Jay explained. “You add peas and it mutates.”
“It gets better right? I mean as she eats more solid foods?” Jacob asked hopefully.
Jay’s laugh echoed through the phone. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that, buddy. Gotta go, good luck and Godspeed.”
Jacob looked at the phone for a moment before hitting the red button. “I could learn to dislike him.” He gazed down at Sera. “See? We got through that pretty okay,” he told his daughter conversationally, focusing on the baby in his arms. “We may need to discuss with your mom what those peas do to your tummy.”
It was after one and he’d been there since seven am when Eden had rushed out of the house with half a bagel in her mouth, and a satchel type briefcase. She’d worn a dark red pants suit with matching heels. Her hair was up and she also wore glasses which he never saw before and assumed when they were together, she’d worn contacts. Either way‒ when she’d handed him the baby, picked up her coffee cup and went out the door‒ Jacob thought it was sexy as hell. Then every time he had a moment to think, it was about taking the pant suit off her slowly and leaving her glasses on.
While he thought that watching a six-month-old would be easy, it certainly was not. Figuring out what each cry meant or when she didn’t want to be put into her bouncer, meant he was bouncing and shushing her all day. A grocery delivery he ordered on his phone almost woke her at around eleven when she napped, and Jacob rushed the door like it was a bomb threat to keep everything silent.
There was Korean barbeque pulled pork in Eden’s crock pot and he would make rice and a vegetable side on the next round of sleepy time. It would be easy to add a little broth to each and steam them back to warm when she got home. He was enjoying being at stay-at-home dad for the day and was thinking about a home office at his own house, so he could spend more time with Sera. But it was best not to make plans without Eden because upturning her life was not what he wanted to do.
By the time Eden came home it was after seven and the baby was already bathed and dressed for bed.
“God, I’m sorry,” Eden apologized as soon as she came through the door. “The case took a turn, and my boss needed some research done—”
Jacob put a finger to his lips to shush her while he gently rocked the baby on his chest by the Christmas tree. He’d turned on the lights and decorations, finding that something he flicked on played a song made up of just tiny bells. Sera seemed intrigued as she had her evening bottle and then he rocked her as she slowly began to fall asleep looking up at him and the lights that flickered in pattern around the house.
“It’s okay,” Jacob said in a low voice. “We got in handled. When I put her down, I’ll grab you some dinner from the kitchen.”
“Dinner?” Eden said the word like it was foreign to her.
He smiled and nodded. “Yes, I made you food.”
“Like actual dinner I didn’t order to be delivered or my mom didn’t make?” she questioned again.
Jacob couldn’t help but grin. “I made Korean barbeque pulled pork, basmati rice and green beans steamed with a little sweet and spicy chill sauce.”
Eden put her bag in the empty high back chair. “I don’t think I had any of that in this house.”
“You didn’t.” Jacob moved with the now sleeping Sera and kissed Eden’s temple. “Kiss our daughter good night and get yourself a glass of wine. I’ll be back.” He could feel her eyes on him as he went down the hallway to the baby’s room and by the time he came back, the red coat was off, and Eden was opening a bottle of wine. The white silk shirt and the full bow at the neck emphasized her bosom even with its demure look. But he knew the fire that was within her, the passion that could burn him down to his soul. He wanted to feel that again, to have her hot and wet beneath him, begging for more.
“Jacob,” Eden said his name gently.
He was brought back to the present. “Um yeah, sorry about that.”
“You seemed to be deep in thought, was it a hard day watching Sera?” Eden asked.
“No, I loved every minute of it,” Jacob answered. “Let me get you some dinner.”
“You’re eating with me, right?” she asked.
He glanced at her. “If you want me to?”
She gave him a nod.
“Then dinner it is.” He fixed them both plates and set them on the table, then refilled her wine while getting himself a glass. He pulled out her chair, so she could sit before joining her and Eden picked up the fork. With her first bite, he watched her close her eyes in pleasure.
“Mmm, can I say I missed your cooking,” Eden said with a laugh.
“I hope that’s not the only thing you missed.” His voice was a low timber.
“No, it was not.” Her smile turned shy and she looked down at her plate before deftly changing the subject, “So, tell me about today, what did you and Sera do?”
Jacob proceeded to fill her in on their day, including the diaper and his call to his doctor friend to make sure Sera was okay.
That set Eden to laughing until tears leaked from her eyes. “You called a doctor about a dirty diaper?”
“It’s sounds silly now, but it was not pretty when I saw it,” Jacob defended. “I don’t think she should have peas until she’s about five.”
Eden laughed again until she got the hiccups and had to take a sip of wine. “Oh, thank you for that, I think I hurt something laughing.”
“Glad I could amuse you,” he said dryly.
She put her hand on his. “Don’t worry, my first week as a mother was not easy. When I was discharged from the hospital, I wouldn’t go because I was terrified of not having the nurse’s help. I came home and breastfed... boy that was a lot until my mom bought me nipple cream.”
“Nipple cream?” he questioned.
“Your nipples hurt and can crack from those little gums sucking on them multiple times a day,” Eden explained. “The cream helps soothe it in between feeding so the skin and areola stays nice and supple for the baby.”
Her explanation was like a sucker punch to his groin thinking about her standing in front of the mirror rubbing a soft lotion on her nipples...
“Jacob?”
“Hmm?”
“You drifted away again,”
Jacob met her gaze. “I forgot what we were talking about.”
She smiled. “Nipple cream.”
“Oh, yeah...” He cleared his throat. “Thanks for explaining that to me.”
“The food is delicious thank you,” Eden said. “I probably would have had a bowl of cereal before bed.” She took another bite.
“Eden, it doesn’t have to be that way,” Jacob’s reminded her.
He saw the look of panic on her face and didn’t say anything else. She needed time. Instead, Jacob stood, feeling like he had worn out his welcome and grabbed his coat. “I’ll let you eat and relax,” he said huskily. “There should be enough for leftovers.”
“You don’t have to leave,” she said standing.
“Yeah, I do,” he answered. “When I’m around you, I want to ask for things that you’re not ready for. I want to hold you so damn bad, it aches and let’s not talk about what would happen if I kissed you. I need to go before I can’t stop myself.”
“Sunday then, for the mall and pictures?” Eden asked.
“Next week probably. I have to some work to catch up on and I need see to the house,” Jacob said. “I will call and check in tomorrow and if you need anything, just call.”
Eden nodded. “I’ll do that, thanks for watching her today and for dinner.”
He smiled around the ache in his heart. “You never have to thank me for being with my daughter or caring for you. Goodnight, Eden.”
Jacob slipped out of the door while she stood by the dining room table watching him with worried soft chocolate brown eyes. There was no way Jacob could reassure her when he didn’t even know where they were going. He had to remind himself, it’d been less than a week since he’d found her. His own impatience could be his own downfall if he wasn’t careful.
* * * *
For the next week, the routine was that Jacob came over to see them and he didn’t push or press.
Sometimes, Eden wished he would and wondered if they were falling into a kind of friendship that co-parenting brought. She tried to picture him with someone else and Sera going to see them in the huge house he’d bought. They had yet to be invited over but the thought made her grit her teeth. You are so contradictory, she chided herself. You asked for time, he gave you time and now you’re obsessing about if someone else comes into his life. Choose one! Sometimes her subconscious could be a real bitch, even though it was an honest assessment of herself.
Last Christmas, she was pregnant and waddling around the mall grumbling as her mother shopped. Only salted caramel gelato kept her involved enough to a very annoyed Lee Kinsley as she finished her shopping. This year, her mother’s invitation to go Christmas shopping was met with more enthusiasm because now, Sera was here. Watching her look at all the lights and decorations made Eden happy. This was her baby’s first Christmas and it should be a special one.
“Christmas dinner will be at our house again, expect your Aunt Sheryll to be full of questions,” her mother commented as the pushed Sera in her stroller through the Christmas and Candle shop. She picked one up to sniff before looking at Eden. “Jacob is of course, invited.”
“I don’t know if he’s going to accept the invite,” Eden admitted. “We are kinda up in the air on everything.”
“I think the both of you are perfectly clear on little miss here, but the relationship thing is what you need to work on.” Lee Kinsley picked up a snow globe. “We should get this for her room, a little taste of snow.”
“Mom, her room is filled with trinkets already,” Eden said.
“Her grandpa wants her to have this, so I’m buying it.” Her mom was already putting the item in the basket across her arm.
“He’s not even here!” Eden said in exasperation and shrugged in defeat. “Why do I argue with you?”
The matriarch of the Kinsley family smiled serenely. “I don’t know why either, an example of this is for you to get off this stubborn streak of presumed hurt and have a relationship with the father of your child.”
“Presumed... Mom, I was hurt,” she defended. “His mother said awful things.”
“But you chose to believe her and not talk to the man you are obviously in love with,” Eden’s parental figure pointed out.
“Thanks for taking my side,” Eden grumbled.
“Oh, I am.” Her mother handed the cashier the money for her purchases. “But “I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that you’re right. The man obviously loves you enough to search for you and yet, when he found you and Sera, he didn’t turn tail and run away. It’s not just about the baby sweetheart, anyone can look in Jacob’s face and see his love... except for you. Unless you don’t want to see it.”
“I do,” Eden said helplessly while they pushed the stroller out of the store. “But what if—”
“What if, what if,” her mother scoffed cutting off her words. “What if the sky fell, what if giraffes could tie their necks in a knot? You’ve always been your worst enemy, Eden. You overthink things and look for the worst before you’ve even had a chance to see the best.”
Eden had no idea how to counter that statement because there was no answer that could combat the truth her mother put forward.
Together, they finished their holiday shopping then went back out to the sunny bright Phoenix day and to the car. The drive to the house went quickly enough, but it was when they turned on to her street that Eden got the biggest surprise.
There was snow in her entire front yard, with kids and parents alike looking on in awe at the snow machine truck, making said snow. Then some were actually in her front yard playing in said snow. A snowman featured a red and white scarf with matching hat, carrot nose, coal eyes, and a smile. Along with blowup candy canes and penguins all in happy poses, there was happy music about a winter wonderland.
At the center of all this wintery chaos was Jacob.
“Seems like the man loves you enough to bring you snow. Maybe you should give him a second chance,” her mom noted with a smile.
They parked on the street because her driveway was filled with snow. Eden got out, took the baby’s car seat off the base, and walked over to Jacob.
A knit hat covered his head and he had on gloves while making snowballs to throw at some of the children.
“When this melts it’s going to be a mess,” Eden said amused.
“Not in this dry heat thing that Arizona has going on,” Jacob answered with a grin.
“We get frost warnings sometimes,” she protested.
“There’s a bag by the door,” Jacob said. “It has gloves and all kinds of stuff for you and Sera. Let’s give our daughter her first snowy holiday.”
“Okay.” Eden heard the happiness in her own voice.
She found the little snow outfit for Sera with tiny mittens that were too cute for words and a knit hat with butterfly pom-poms. Her mother donned gloves and a hat as well and with Jacobs’s encouragement, kids from the neighborhood scrambled to go home and change into something warmer, so they could play in the snow. Something never seen in Phoenix.
The afternoon in her neighborhood took on a whole different vibe. Eden took pictures of Sera being held in the snow by her daddy and her reactions to the cold flakes. By the time the snow began to get slushy, the entire neighborhood seemed to be exhausted but happy.
“This was wonderful,” her mother said with a laugh. “I need to go home and tell your father about the snow day in Phoenix. This was all quite fun, Jacob thank you.”
“Well, my two favorite ladies deserved to have a winter wonderland, even if just for a day,” Jacob answered.
“It would have been so much better if you said three,” Lee Kinsley said. “I am on your side after all.”
Jacob smiled and kissed her cheek. “You too, Mrs. Kinsley.”
“Lee...” She patted his cheek then directed her attention to her granddaughter. “Bye, my sweet girl.”
“Say bye-bye, Grandma.” Eden helped the baby wave a chubby hand.
After kissing Sera goodbye, Lee Kinsley directed a raised eyebrow in the direction of her daughter and the look...that meant just as much as if she’d said the words.
They watched her drive away before Eden focused on the man next to her while holding a very tired little girl. “Oh, she needs a nap,” she said. “Let’s get her inside. We can put all this damp stuff in the laundry room. I’ll get it cleaned up later.”
“On it,” Jacob said. “Point me in the direction I need to go.”
“All the way down the hall to the left,” she replied. “I’ll get the little one fed.”
Eden was settled in the recliner and Sara was at her breast with a soft blanket discreetly allowing her to breastfeed.
Jacob came back into the living room and halted. “Should I go to the kitchen or wait in the car until you’re done?”
Eden grinned. “I’m feeding her, not taking playboy pictures. Sit down weirdo.”
“Excuse me but I’ve never been around a lactating mother before,” Jacob defended. “There’s not much of a handbook on any of this.”
“There are parenting books,” she pointed out. “They talk about stuff like this.”
“Which one should I get?” Jacob asked.
Eden chuckled. “I’m kidding, there are so many books with so many variations on how people think children should be raised, your head would explode.”
He met her gaze looking very much concerned. “Then what do I do?
“Love her, like you do now,” Eden said gently.
Jacob hesitated before speaking, “I wanted to invite you to my house tomorrow, to see the house and the room I set up for Sera.”
His words made it all too clear that eventually, she would have to make some kind of firm decision. If they didn’t work out, Sera would be spending time away from her and the thought made Eden’s heart break. While her arm tightened protectively around her child and a panicked ‘no’ threatened to escape her lips. She looked at Jacob’s hopeful expression and couldn’t deny him. He loved Sera just as much as she did. “We would like that,” Eden answered finally. “It would have to be after work though, tomorrow is Monday.”
“How about I pick her up and take her to the house tomorrow, you can come there when you get off work,’ Jacob suggested.
“Don’t you have your own work?” Eden asked.
“I do, but it’s something I can work around,” Jacob answered. “I can do it while the world sleeps, it makes no difference. Spending the day with my daughter matters most.”
“Okay, but it’s going to be early,” she warned.
“Seven, I know.” He smiled.
“She’s asleep, let me put her down and I’ll be back.” Eden buttoned her shirt before lifting the baby in her arms and taking her to the nursery down the hall.
Back in the living room, the sun setting was casting shadows across the space. Eden turned on the Christmas strung lights along with the tree and their multicolored twinkling gave her home an even cozier feel. She was acutely aware of the man in her living room watching the sunset from the large bay window.
He turned when the lights went on and his gaze travelled from her head down to her feet.
Not even a touch, but it was like a caress, watching his eyes trace her body. Her feet moved towards him on their own accord propelled by some part of her mind that knew what she wanted and wouldn’t voice.
Jacob’s long stride met her in the middle of the room and their lips met in a kiss that said what her lips couldn’t. Jacob pulled her to him holding her tight until she was pressed against his chest. His lips were hard, demanding entry and Eden opened her mouth with a soft moan.
A sense of satisfaction filled her...this was where she was meant to be, in his arms. The heat flamed between them, hot and wild from the need that had been unsatisfied for so long. She felt him moving her backward until he was sitting on the sofa and she straddled his lap. The kiss never broke but in fact got hotter because Eden could feel his hardness through his jeans.
He groaned as he tore his mouth away. “I have to touch you, Eden. I’m aching to just feel you against me.”
“Yes,” she gasped, not thinking but just going by instinct
He unbuttoned her shirt and the clasp to her front closing bra was released before he pressed his face between the valley of her breasts.
God knows how he got her leggings and underwear off, nor did she care. Being half naked and exposed to him only heightened her need until Eden was trembling. Her upper half was on the sofa with him over her, devouring her lips. Their lower half was connected, and Jacob pushed her legs apart with eager hands.
She was already slick and wet, as he found her clit between the soft folds of flesh. Eden arched as a shudder rolled through her body and she wanted more.
His gaze remained on her, watching her face while he touched her.
Eden’s lips parted with a soft cry when she felt his fingers buried deep within her sex. Yes! The thought rushed through her head and her hips rose against his fingers.
A low groan escaped Jacob, and he kissed her savagely while he used his fingers to fuck her. Eden was so aroused she didn’t think it was possible‒ being so close to him for that last few weeks and not be able to touch him‒ had taken its toll. All she could think about was them being connected intimately and pushing each other to completion.
Jacob stopped kissing her to issue the soft demand, “I want you to come.”
“God, I want to,” Eden gasped out.
“Then let me take you higher.” Jacob laved at the hard tip of her nipple, sucked it lightly, and her head fell back in delight. “I can feel you clenching around my fingers, don’t hold back, give me what I want.”
“Ah, yes, don’t stop, don’t stop,” Eden panted past caring about inhibitions, while Jacob built her to the peak with a hard pressing beat. Closing her eyes, she gave herself over to her orgasm almost seeing the light multicolored lights behind closed lids. “Yes, yes, yes...” Her head arched into the cushions of the sofa as her body bucked against his hand. The waves washed over her until only a dull heat was left.
“Oh my god,” she said weakly before sitting up to kiss him hungrily. “You’re still dressed, I want you inside me.”
“No.” Jacob lifted himself up easily and left her on the sofa while he stood.
She could see the outline of his erection, yet he moved away. “What why?” Eden asked, confusion mixing with the last sensations of her orgasm.
He gave her a dark look filled with desire. “Because we always fall into it, the heat of the moment and while it’s good, it’s nothing stable.”
“I don’t know what you want from me,” she said sitting up, closing the front of her bra.
“I want it all, your love, your body,” he explained. “But I want us as a family, our daughter to see us both every night before we go to bed. I want to hold you in my arms and know that I’ll wake up next to you. I don’t want to fuck you then pull on my damn pants and walk out the door. It’s all or nothing right now, Eden. I deserve it and you know that you want it too.”
“I do, but I’m terrified,” Eden admitted. “It took everything in me to put the pieces of my life and heart together since Texas. If I lost you again, it would break me and I don’t know if I can take that risk.”
Jacob leaned over and kissed her gently. “I know but until you make a choice for or against us, this can’t happen. It will complicate things all the more. I’m going to head home. I’ll be here at seven to pick up Sera.”
Eden nodded not knowing what else to say. “Goodnight.”
“Lock up behind me,” he said gently before he closed the door.
It took a minute before Eden moved and pulled on her leggings to go over and lock up the door. She checked on a still sleeping Sera and caressed the baby’s hair before she went into her own room.
Even in the midst of his own need, Jacob had the presence of mind to know having sex at this point wouldn’t help but perhaps hamper the journey they were on. It made her love him all the more.