Actions taken may have a significant effect on other characters. Some objects affect everyone in the vicinity. Consider when making a choice not only the ramifications for yourself, but for the rest of the game.
—The Haunted Place Player Guide
The next morning, Shannon and I met Gwen bright and early, as directed, wearing workout clothes and sandals. Since most exercise classes wanted some type of shoe, I assumed we were about to engage in some sort of pre-bridal yoga. So I stopped dead in my tracks when I spotted the sign in the window behind Gwen.
Shannon saw it at the same time I did. “Unleash your inner diva?”
Suddenly, I had a very bad feeling about this. The woman on the poster wore sky-high heels, the tiniest shorts I’d ever seen, a bra, and a feather boa. She didn’t look like she was about to engage in any sort of fitness routine. This poster looked a lot less like “Let’s have a fun day celebrating Gwen and Cody” and a lot more like “Project Get Holly Laid,” which wasn’t why I’d decided to start dating again. I mean, sure, sex would be nice, but that wasn’t the point of regaining my confidence.
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Gwen said. “It’s a fitness class. We’re going to learn to spin and twirl and get in touch with our inner confidence. We should leave here feeling like a million bucks.”
“Is that a million bucks in dollar bills?” Shannon asked.
I snorted. The woman in the picture did look like a stripper. Which was fine, except I didn’t need to learn how to be one, too.
“Ha-ha,” Gwen said. “Yes, they teach fitness with a pole. But we’ll be fully clothed, and there’s no audience.”
“I suppose it could be fun,” Shannon said doubtfully.
If either of them noticed my silence, they didn’t comment.
“I swear you’ll love it,” Gwen said. “And, hey, you never know, Holly might learn some sexy moves to try out on all those lucky guys she’s meeting online.”
After the Poker’s comment about preferring women who spent more time on themselves, I couldn’t handle any “Holly needs to be sexier” comments. Hearing how not-sexy everyone found me didn’t help my self-esteem. Adding in the frustration of not clicking with any of the guys online, no sparks with Marc, and Nathan chasing away Alejandro, I was done. My feet ground to a halt. As much as I loved Gwen, I simply couldn’t go in there.
“I’m sorry, but no,” I said. “I know it’s your weekend, Gwen, but I’m not up for this. It’s not my thing.”
“You don’t know if it’s your thing until you try it,” Shannon pointed out. “It might be fun. And even if it blows, at least we’ll all hate it together.”
“You won’t hate it!” Gwen insisted. “Have you hated the other things you’re doing to get out of your shell?”
“Well….” I didn’t want to say yes. I mean, flirting with Nathan was fun. I liked hanging out with Marc. My other dates so far had been disasters, and that was the primary thing I’d tried. It might be time to do something else outside of my comfort zone. But this?
“I want to do a girls’ day out to celebrate my wedding. Shots or a club aren’t the way to go, not for me. And, okay, sure, I could have set up a spa day, but those are expensive. I didn’t want you to have to spend a lot and can’t afford to pay for all of us, even if I thought you’d take my money.”
“You’re right, I wouldn’t,” I said.
“What are you so afraid of?” Shannon asked.
I hesitated, not wanting to reveal the truth. I was afraid everyone would see my “moves” and realize I had no sex appeal whatsoever. Afraid I’d feel even more inadequate and awkward after the class than before. Afraid it would take the fragile tendrils of self-confidence I’d managed to rebuild and crush them to bits.
At the same time, Gwen would be pissed if I didn’t go in, and I still wanted the three of us to have a great day together. She tended to get angry quickly and cool off just as fast, but as a friend, I preferred not to unnecessarily upset her.
Gwen turned to Shannon. “Can you give us a minute?”
“Sure.” She went inside to sign in and make sure we didn’t lose our reservation, while Gwen pulled me over to a bench placed beside the doors so we wouldn’t be in the way. Part of me felt like a jerk for messing up the fun day she’d had planned, but I’d spent so much time doing things I didn’t want to do and containing my true feelings. The effort exhausted me.
“You know I only push because I love you, right?” she asked. “You do your best to act positive, but you forget how well we know you. You’re not happy.”
I tried to paste a smile on my face, but it failed. “You’re right, I’m not. But I’ll be okay.”
“Of course you will. But as your BFF, it’s my job to refuse to allow you to sit around and mope forever. Like how you and Shannon wouldn’t let me write Cody off as another gamer who only wanted to get laid. We wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for you two.”
“I doubt that. You would have figured it out eventually.” She raised her eyebrows at me, and I giggled. “I mean, it might have taken a really, really loooooong time….”
“See? I owe you. It’s not about finding a guy. We both know life isn’t about being in a relationship. But you need something that will make you happy, and I want to help.”
“Seeing Lucas get sent to jail at the end of his trial will make me happy,” I said. “Getting off probation and starting my career. Finding my own place to live so I’m not mooching off your dad.”
“I know,” she said. “I get it. But you can’t do those things yet. Do you want to spend the next several months being miserable and lonely?”
When she put it like that, the answer was obvious. “No, I don’t.”
“Excellent!” She clapped her hands several times. “Then let’s have some fun.”
“Okay, I’ll do it.”
With great trepidation, I entered the room. It looked like any other open fitness room, similar to where I’d done Zumba back when I could afford a gym membership. The primary difference was that mirrors lined three of the walls, not just the front. And that metal poles stood every six or seven feet, connecting floor to very high ceiling.
The woman on the poster strode to the front of the room. “¡Buenos dias! I’m Yasmine, and I’m your instructor for Finding Your Inner Diva. I’m not a stripper, but it’s cool if you are. When I’m not teaching here, I work as a bartender. In my free time, I’m going to school to get my MBA. Pole has given me the confidence to pursue the things I want in life, and I hope you can say the same. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?”
Unbidden, an image swam before my eyes. I didn’t have the courage to go for the one thing I wanted most. What would Gwen say if this worked, and I told her she was the one who gave me the push I needed to take a chance on dating her father?
Gwen’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “I want a long and happy marriage, unlike my parents.”
Shannon said, “I want to venture out on my own and create a successful game business. To show the guys I work with that a woman can make games as well as they can.”
Everyone turned to me. Wiping my palms on the back of my pants, I chewed my lip for a moment before responding. “I…I want to stop feeling trapped by circumstances beyond my control.”
“Worthy goals, all of them,” Yasmine said. “By the time I’m done with the three of you, you’ll be ready to take over the world.”
* * * *
As promised, the class turned out to be a huge amount of fun. By the end, I was glad I’d let Gwen talk me into it, and I apologized profusely for doubting her intentions. She didn’t say another word about me dating or hooking up or anything, and the three of us had a blast. By the end, I decided to find a place offering similar classes in Boston…just as soon as I found some spare pennies to rub together.
After class, we spent the afternoon lounging by the pool, just the three of us, until it was time to get ready for the rehearsal dinner. The resort planned and executed the entire wedding, so there wasn’t much to “rehearse” in the traditional sense. Gwen and Cody had already gone to look at where their ceremony would be held, we checked the weather report for rain clouds, and that was it. In the morning, the wedding planner assigned by the resort would meet with everyone and tell us where to stand, when to walk, etc.
Since we didn’t need to spend a lot of time going over readings or song choices, Gwen and Cody invited the bridal party to dinner at one of the resort restaurants. It wasn’t covered by the all-inclusive package, and therefore wouldn’t have been within my budget, but Cody’s parents offered to pay for everyone. They said the groom’s family traditionally paid for the rehearsal dinner, so it was only right for them to cover this meal.
Shannon and I arrived early. I wouldn’t mind so much being stuck next to Cody’s drunk uncle, but after a day spent not thinking about He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Lusted-After, the last thing I needed was to wind up seated beside him for an entire two-hour meal.
Thankfully, Cody’s sister Tessa arrived at the same time we did. The three of us went to the bar for pre-dinner drinks.
“How’s Preston?” I asked Tessa. She’d brought her one-and-a-half-year-old to the resort, but she’d also wisely brought a sitter to help. We hadn’t seen much of them, probably because Tessa didn’t bring her child to pole-dancing classes or the adults-only pool with a swim-up bar.
“Great! He loves the kiddie pool. Cody and I spent about three hours over there earlier so the sitter could have the afternoon off.”
“It’s great that he helps so much.”
She nodded. “Even though I fought him at the time, I’m lucky he moved to Boston. And look how it worked out for him! He and Gwen will probably be having their own babies soon.”
Shannon laughed. “Don’t let Gwen hear you say that.”
“She doesn’t want kids?”
“It’s not that,” I said. “But she’s not ready, especially with just coming to terms with her relationship with her mother and not being married yet. Plus, her blog is taking off. She may not want to take maternity leave right when she’s starting to land some big sponsors.”
“Fair enough. The whole thing with her mom was tough. Luckily, she has an amazing parent and role model in her father.”
The last person I wanted to talk about was Nathan, so I made a noise that sounded sort of like an agreement and sipped my drink.
“Maybe we should change the subject.” Shannon nodded to the door. “Here they come.”
Behind me, Gwen entered with Cody and Nathan on either arm. My heart skipped a beat, noting how his dark green shirt complemented his coloring. Did absence make the heart grow fonder so fast? I’d only been avoiding him for about twenty-four hours. Not even enough time for him to have noticed. And yet, I couldn’t deny the way the room brightened when he appeared.
The three of us joined the group and headed for the dining room. Tyler showed up while we were still figuring out the seating, so I maneuvered a spot between him and Tessa, with Shannon on Tyler’s other side. Gwen wasn’t the only one who could meddle in her friends’ private lives. Once Shannon got to know Tyler better, she might develop an attraction for him. Nathan sat on the other side of Gwen and Cody, far enough away for me to nod hello and then pretend I couldn’t hear him over the din of the restaurant.
Once the rest of the family members arrived, I didn’t have to pretend. Tessa told me all about Preston’s development while Tyler and Shannon talked game design on the other side of me. He loved The Haunted Place and had a lot of ideas for her next game.
By the time everyone finished eating, I’d almost forgotten that Nathan sat less than ten feet away from me. I stayed for the toasts, then slipped away to the ladies’ room, figuring everyone would be gone by the time I got back.
Instead, I found Nathan lounging on the wall outside the exit. My traitorous heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. “Hey. Waiting for someone?”
“Yeah. You.” He fell into step beside me. “Is everything okay?”
No.
“Sure. Why?” I asked.
“I don’t know. You seem different. I haven’t seen you all day, and then you barely said hello. I thought you were still mad about yesterday.”
Mad that you chased Alejandro away? No. Mad that you didn’t kiss me and declare your love for me? Yes.
“Why would I be mad? You thought you were helping. Besides, that guy was leaving today and lives three thousand miles away. It’s not like we were going to start a passionate love affair.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to snatch them back. Nathan was the last person in the world I wanted to discuss my love life—or lack thereof—with. But he didn’t seem the slightest bit fazed.
Expression inscrutable, he said, “Okay, good. I really am sorry.”
“I know. Thanks.”
“Are you coming to the after-party?” he asked.
“After-party” might be a bit of an overstatement, but we’d reserved a table near one of the outdoor bars where everyone could drink and hang out. My normal cautious self might have passed, considering the half dozen or so drinks I’d already consumed over the course of the day, but I barely felt a buzz. One drink per hour, watered down by the resort, wasn’t enough to impair my judgment. Besides, after tapping my inner diva, I couldn’t wait to shove Old Holly aside and let the Flirt out to play. “Definitely. You?”
“Looking forward to it. Especially now that I know you’re not mad at me.”
I beamed up at him. “How could anyone possibly be mad at her knight in shining armor?”
“I hear it’s easy,” he said. “Gwen may have some tips.”
Turning the corner, we arrived at the tables where the rest of the wedding party already milled around. A waiter would eventually come take our order, but I didn’t want to wait. Bolting straight for the bar, I ordered two shots of tequila. Ordinarily, I didn’t love tequila, but when in Rome…or Mexico, as it were.
Maybe it was the alcohol talking, or the class, or whatever, but my conversation with Nathan sparked a wild rush of emotions that needed to be tamed. I wanted to throw myself into his arms, confess my crush, and let him reject me so I could move on. I wanted him to ask me to dance so I could press my body against his and feel his strong arms around me again.
At the same time, I wanted to avoid him so I could finally focus on finding something real. It was easy to focus on the one man I could never be with, because then I wouldn’t risk getting hurt again. A harmless crush might sting a little, but he could never cheat on me, never cause me all the pain Lucas had. Not getting attached to anyone else made everything easier. I wanted…everything to fade away, for just a few hours.
So when the bartender brought my shots, I tossed them both back and ordered a margarita. And when a guy at the bar gave me a big smile and said hi, I flipped my hair and introduced myself.