The first sensation that broke into Aubrey’s consciousness made him think he’d drowned his marriage sorrows in far too much cheap ale.
He brought a hand to his pounding head with a groan.
“He’s up.”
The shout brought forth another groan.
Aubrey lifted first one eyelid then the other to scowl at his friend Jasper. Of course it would be Jasper. Who else would have encouraged him to imbibe past his tolerance?
“How do you feel?” Jasper asked, thankfully in a softer tone.
“Like I should have left whatever ale house you dragged me to some drinks before.”
Instead of the laugh Aubrey had half tensed against, Jasper’s brows drew together as he frowned.
“You seem no worse for the wear, curse you.”
Again no laughter. Not even a hint of humor graced Jasper’s expression as he asked, “You have no memory of the events?”
“Is that so unexpected? Stop hovering over me,” Aubrey snapped, despite the pain it triggered.
“I’ve sat vigil for half a day and all of a night, except when Daphne took a turn so I could be rested if you needed me. Until you woke, the doctor could not assure me you’d survive.”
“Well, I’m awake, aren’t I?” Even as he gave his testy response, Jasper’s words filtered through the pain to raise questions that triggered their own answers.
“Barbara!” Though the cry caused a spike through his head, Aubrey struggled to rise, memory returning in a crash of images and fears.
Jasper pressed him to the mattress. “You need to rest. The doctor said —”
“I don’t care what the doctor said.” Aubrey tried to fight the hold and found the effort more than he’d expected. “I won’t lie here and rest with Barbara still lost. I need to find her. I need to know she returned safely. Get off me, you oaf.”
His words had no effect, but he dragged the strength to fight Jasper’s hold from the very depths of his being. “I must know what happened to her.”
The energy vanished, leaving his body aching and his head swelled to five times its size from the weight of it. He sank back to the mattress with a groan, but marshaled his strength for another try. His pain-muddled brain decided if he could only throw Jasper off, he’d be free to go find the answers he sought since his friend seemed determined to ignore his demands.
“What’s this?” an older man said as he shoved through the doorway.
Aubrey spared the newcomer only a quick glance as he surged upward, using Jasper’s distraction to win free. He rolled to the edge only to find himself incapable of stopping the movement.
The floor came up to slam into his bruised body without even the brace of his arms to cushion it.
“Restrain him.”
Hands seized him, more than just the two Jasper possessed, and Aubrey started to struggle in earnest. Having won this much, he would not surrender it without a fight.
“Barbara. I have to find Barbara,” he gasped out, as much to remind himself as to tell the others.
They showed no more sign of listening than Jasper had. He was lifted back to the mattress and held there by Willem and two others of the servants, his efforts undone.
Aubrey glared at the one who’d orchestrated his failure, the unfamiliar face too serene for what he’d cost Aubrey. “I could have bested Jasper. Let me up. You can’t hold me here.” He thrashed from side to side, but these men showed no signs of slacking, and each movement sent jolts of pain through his battered body until he had to stop if only to catch his breath.
“Something might have been knocked loose in the fall,” the man was saying when Aubrey finally quieted enough to hear.
Aubrey went to send an icy glare only to find the man had pulled Jasper to the side.
“Sometimes in cases like these, even if the patient recovers consciousness, he’ll never be the man he was.”
Patient.
Suddenly Aubrey connected the man’s black frock coat with his statements and realized the stranger had to be a doctor. A doctor who told Jasper to expect a madman where he’d once had a friend.
Aubrey realized he’d harmed his own cause when reacting to how Jasper wouldn’t listen. He drew in a few deep breaths and stilled his body, though the servants showed no sign of relaxing their hold, another indication he’d appeared the madman.
Only when he could be assured of an even, normal tone did Aubrey attempt to speak once again. “I went into the woods to find a girl. I’d upset her and worried for her state. Before I could find her, I fell down the slope. She could still be lost in there. I have to know she’s all right.” His voice rose on the last despite his efforts, but the words came out sound.
“What is the meaning of this? Jasper? How could you treat him so?” Daphne appeared in the doorway with a tray and glared at each of the men in turn before meeting Aubrey’s relieved gaze.
Jasper stepped between his wife and friend, a move that sent pain of a different sort through Aubrey. “He’s agitated. The doctor thinks he might be a danger to himself or others.”
Daphne pushed her husband to the side with the tray and marched to Aubrey’s bedside. “He doesn’t look agitated to me, or at least not unreasonably so. You’re not, are you?”
Aubrey gave her a slight headshake that ended in a groan.
“I heard what he said before coming in to find all of you manhandling him.”
Willem flinched from her sharp look, and he and the other two released Aubrey to back away.
Daphne gave a satisfied nod. “It seems a simple enough request, and if this girl is still lost in the woods after a full night, reason enough for agitation if you ask me.”
Finally, someone had listened.
A tension Aubrey hadn’t recognized before relaxed with the knowledge he’d gained an advocate at last. Had he been feeling more himself, he would have laughed at the contrite expressions that took over all but the doctor.
“My lady, with an injury of this type —”
She waved a hand to cut him off. “You’d set his injury over another’s life?”
The question threatened to send Aubrey surging to his feet for all he knew he wouldn’t make it upright if his last attempt had been any measure. He fought the urge only to ask again, “What happened to Barbara?”
Daphne turned to face him, placing one hand on his cheek as she met his gaze with enough understanding for him to know she recognized the significance of his interest. “I don’t know, Aubrey, but I swear to you I’ll find out.”
She pulled away to look at the others. “Did the man who brought Aubrey make mention of a girl?”
One after another, the men shook their heads, Aubrey’s hopes sinking lower.
“Well, what are you waiting for, Willem? Run down to the village and seek an answer. It was Ferrier who brought him, was it not? Ask at the farmhouse first. Take the cart. It’s faster. If he came across her, he’ll know.”
Aubrey added, “She’s a servant there. He will know.”
“You heard the man.” Daphne’s tone offered no room for protest. “Get down to the Ferrier lands and find out her state.”
“Ask for her to come if she’s able,” he called after Willem’s retreating back. “I want to see her myself.”
He accepted the tea Daphne offered him if only for a distraction as he settled in for the wait. With the effort to get him his answers begun, Aubrey had to admit he was in no condition to discover her state on his own. He had no choice but to be patient, though fear continued to gnaw at him as he suffered the doctor’s examination.
“He’s as well as to be hoped,” the man said at last. “But he’ll only recover if he rests. No more of this, whether the girl comes or not.” The final sentence was directed not at Daphne and Jasper but at Aubrey himself along with a stern glare.
Aubrey gave a stiff nod, suppressing a wince. He was not ready to forgive the man for pronouncing him insane when no one would listen to his very real concerns. He held on to the realization that had escaped him when he’d charged after her.
The girl grew up next to this forest and worked both at its side and within her whole life. While he’d been risking his own, she most likely had come out a different way and rejoined the others. Only by a miracle had he been found at all.
BARBARA SAW THE YOUNG MAN first as he swung down from his cart and tied the reins to the fence before entering the yard. She stopped too suddenly and felt the splash of warm milk as it soaked through another borrowed dress.
He hurried toward her, and her heart stumbled then started again. Why hurry if the news told of Aubrey’s loss, and why come to tell her at all?
“I need to see Mister Ferrier. It’s urgent.”
She gave him a grim nod even as she bit her tongue to keep any questions from coming out. She’d promised her uncle, and what right had she to badger this man anyway?
“He’s by the stable,” Barbara said at last, turning to show the way. Even if it meant carrying the milk back and forth a dozen times, she would not chance missing any news the man might impart.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Marian asked as they passed the barn, but when she saw the manor servant, she picked up her skirts and rushed after them, catching the attention of the others who did likewise.
By the time they reached the stables, they’d become a crowd.
“What is this?” Uncle Ferrier asked, scanning the faces before him. “Have my daughters decided to rebel?”
Any humor in his expression vanished when his gaze tripped over the servant. “Willem, right? What brings you down from the manor?”
Despite her best intentions, Barbara stepped closer, not wanting to miss a word.
Luckily, her cousins did as well, Sarah joining them, so her choice did not stand out.
“It’s Lord Aubrey St. Vincent.”
A gasp she could not smother hung in the air, but her uncle gave an impatient wave.
“What about the man? I’m no undertaker, so I presume you have not come to announce his demise.”
“Father!”
Which of the girls made the cry, Barbara couldn’t tell. She had no objection, finding relief in his confidence if not in his blunt nature.
“No, nothing like that, though he’s like to do himself further injury if you cannot aid me in this request.”
Uncle Ferrier gave a knowing laugh. “What then can I do to protect the lord from himself? Out with it, man. My girls have more important things to do than listen to your gossip.” He swept them all again with a stern look that landed the heaviest on Barbara.
“He needs to know the fate of the girl he went after into the forest.”
This time no one distracted from her gasp.
Barbara found herself, not Willem, the center of their attention, the man catching on a moment later.
“He need not trouble himself,” Uncle Ferrier said after an awkward pause. “She came through the ordeal with little more than a scratch on her. Go tell him to rest easy.”
Willem stared at her for a moment longer as though expecting her to confess her involvement, but she took the cue from her uncle and kept silent, not even releasing a sigh of relief when the servant finally turned his back.
“If only it were that easy. He has grown quite agitated over his concern and will not rest until he has seen himself that all is well. I was one of those called to restrain him, and the doctor fears for the state of his mind after the knocking it took. Keeping him calm is crucial for his recovery. The only way to calm him was to go seek this girl. I cannot speak to his health should I return with little more than assurances from you.”
Though he spoke the last to her uncle, he twisted to lay his gaze once more upon Barbara, making it clear he’d understood their attention well enough.
“I cannot,” she said, unable to stay silent any longer. “I only bring trouble to his doorstep. It’s best I keep my distance.”
Willem caught her arm when she made to leave the gathering, more of the forgotten milk splashing out. “The time for distance has passed, girl. You only bring him more harm by denying this request.”
Uncle Ferrier closed a tight hand on Willem’s shoulder with a strong enough grip to make the younger man wince. “Let go of my —”
“He meant no trouble by it,” Barbara cut in before he could finish the sentence. She did not want word to get back to Aubrey. Better he think her lost to him than that he knew the truth of her betrayal. “And now he has your word to trust in this. As you can see, I am without injury and glad to hear of his restoring health. But it is not to be. I cannot see him again. No good will come of it. He can take the account from your own eyes.”
“But —”
“But nothing,” her uncle said, stepping between them. “You’ve heard from me and the girl. You’ve seen her yourself. Return to the manor and leave my girls to their chores.”
“Father, you can’t mean it.” Jane’s incredulous tone brought all eyes to her, but her sisters moved to surround Jane and offer support.
“You heard Willem,” Charlotte added. “This could be the request of a dying man. I know you’re angry with Barbara, and disappointed too, but you are not stone-hearted.”
“I don’t want to go,” Barbara said, unwilling to be the cause of a disagreement between her uncle and his daughters. “He is not stopping me.”
Marian put both hands on her hips and glared at Barbara. “He should be forcing you to go. All this time we thought to give you the chance to see him, and now when he needs you, you turn your back? Did you not notice his injury before you ran off to hide? Do you not remember he hadn’t even woken by the time we delivered him to the manor? Do you not care for him one bit? Was it all a lark?”
Barbara flinched under the force of her cousin’s accusations, each one hitting like a blacksmith’s hammer. She couldn’t even protest because the truth, that she sought revenge for a slight, would only show her off worse while the deeper truth of her love for the man meant nothing.
Sarah moved to her side and caught her hand. “She fears for him. Isn’t that evident enough. Can’t you see she holds herself responsible for his accident?”
Marian looked from Sarah to Barbara and back before she relaxed her stance.
“All the more reason to go to him.” Georgiana had kept silent until then, the soft, sensible words not what any of them would have expected from her.
“He asks after you,” Willem injected as though sensing how Barbara wavered. “You worry of trouble, but how much more harm can come to him trapped in his sickbed.”
Uncle Ferrier caught her free hand and stared down at her for a moment. “Is this true? Do your feelings run as deep as all that?”
Tears gathered in her eyes, but she blinked them away only to nod her confession.
A slight smile played upon his lips. “Then what are you waiting for, girl. Go to him. Georgie can take the milk.”
The last startled a laugh from her as her cousin came to pry Barbara’s fingers loose. They didn’t understand. They didn’t know the whole truth, though the girls knew enough to be aware of Aubrey’s ignorance.
Still, though she feared her confession would make him more agitated rather than less, Barbara could not stand against the pressure of all of them weighed against her no more than she could hold fast against the need burning in her chest.
“I’ll go.”
The cousins let out a shout loud enough to startle a horse in the nearby pasture so it reared up, but Sarah only turned to Barbara. “Would you like me to come with you? I’m sure Willem has room for two in the cart he brought.”
Barbara put both hands into Sarah’s and gave her friend a smile. “Thank you, but no. This is something I must do on my own.”
“Do you think it the time?” Sarah asked, clearly catching her full meaning.
Her shrug had nothing of casual feeling to it. “There will never be another.”
Once they spoke, he would cast aside the illusion of a country girl and scorn the deceitful lady that came in her place.
“At least take a moment to change your soiled skirt.”
Barbara stared at Sarah before remembering how the milk had splashed the cloth. Her words would be sour enough without the stench of old milk rising from her.