2
There was an immediate and very crazy scramble as every child raced to sit in the seat they particularly wanted to sit in. And of course, everyone was clamouring to sit next to the new girl. New pupils were always exciting and they did not come along that often.
‘Come and sit with me,’ cooed Candida Smiley, the Most Popular Girl in the School. She patted the chair next to her, where her friend India Marmite usually sat. (India was for some reason sprawled on the floor beside her chair, rubbing her head and glaring angrily at Candida.)
But the new girl replied, ‘No, thanks. I don’t want to end up on the floor,’ and, grabbing her bag, she plonked herself down next to Pippa (where there was always a free place).
‘Hi!’ she whispered hoarsely, ignoring Mr Guttersnipe, who was shooting her particularly dark looks.
Mr Guttersnipe then turned his back on the class and began writing on the board, so the new girl took Pippa’s hand and pumped it up and down. ‘I’m Tallulah. Tallulah Foghorn. What’s your name?’ she said. ‘Oh, and this is Smug – but don’t tell anyone he’s here, will you?’ She gestured to her school bag, where the small face of a particularly gorgeous-looking pug was concealed between a pencil case and yet another notebook. The little dog winked at Pippa.
Well, that did it. Pippa’s serious expression broke into the broadest of broad grins, her turquoise eyes went all glittery and she got one of those tingly feelings that you get in your tummy when you just know that you are going to be very good friends with someone. (You know the feeling. It makes you feel light and floaty and giggly and a tiny bit crazy, doesn’t it?)
‘I’m Pippa Peppercorn,’ she whispered back, ‘and it’s very nice to meet you. Both of you!’ she added, winking back at the pug.
For the first time in her life, Pippa felt school was going to be a very exciting place.
That day Pippa laughed and smiled more than she had ever done at St Crumble’s in the whole long time she had been going there, which was quite a few years already, what with her being ten and three-quarters and a little bit more by now. And she learned a lot about Tallulah Foghorn in the process.
Now, I don’t want you thinking that Pippa was one of those naughty sorts of pupils who chatters and giggles in class whenever they think they can get away with it.
On the other hand, there is no point in trying to hide it: Tallulah was that sort of pupil. But because she was so incredibly brainy, she got away with it. For example, she was in the middle of telling Pippa that she liked to invent things. ‘And Smug here is very useful at helping with all sorts of projects. In fact that is why I have brought him in today.’ She explained that science was ‘in my blood’, as her parents were scientists of the travelling sort, who liked to ‘swim rivers and climb mountains and wade through swamps to find interesting specimens to put in bottles and jars, so they never stay in the same place for more than a week—’
‘Erm! Excuse me, Miss Foghorn!’ Mr Guttersnipe butted in.
‘Yes?’ said Tallulah cheekily. ‘What can I do for you?’
The whole class gasped in shock. And Candida Smiley gave a particularly nasty snigger too, as she could see Tallulah was going to get into trouble.
Mr Guttersnipe raised his thick, hairy eyebrows and flared his thick, hairy nostrils and said, ‘What you can do for me, Tallulah Foghorn, is to stop talking while I am talking!’
‘Ah, technically you were not in fact talking at that moment,’ Tallulah said, holding up a finger in a correcting sort of way. ‘You were actually writing on the board, to be precise.’
‘Tallulah,’ said Mr Guttersnipe sharply, ‘I’m afraid to tell you that I do not allow answering back in this class. Would you be so good as to tell me the answer to the question I just asked?’ he added, glaring at the new girl.
‘How can I answer the question if I am not allowed to answer back?’ Tallulah pointed out.
There was another sharp intake of breath from the other pupils as Mr Guttersnipe’s face went through several shades of purple before he shouted, ‘Tell me the answer!’
Pippa glanced at her new friend and grimaced. She realized there was no way that Tallulah would be able to answer the question because she had not been listening.
Imagine her surprise when Tallulah replied: ‘Well, why didn’t you say that’s what you wanted me to do? The answer is one hundred and fifty thousand, two hundred and sixty-two.’
How utterly amazing, thought Pippa. But she did not dare say so aloud, because Mr Guttersnipe was staring at Tallulah, who of course was right next to Pippa.
Mr Guttersnipe was in fact staring in an almost rude manner. His face had gone from purple to white, his jaw had dropped open and his spectacles had slipped off the end of his hairy nose and now fell to the floor with a clatter. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times without one single squeak of a sound coming out.
Oh no, she’s done it now, thought Pippa. He’s going to explode. He’s just building up to it . . .
However, the teacher merely said, ‘W-w-well, I – I – yes, that’s very good,’ in a dazed tone of voice. Then, clearing his throat and bending down to pick up his spectacles, he attempted to regain control of the situation. ‘I am glad to see that someone is paying attention,’ he said pointedly. He put his spectacles back on and looked over the top of them at Pippa, who pretended to find the ink stains on her desk very interesting indeed.
‘How did you do that?’ she asked her new friend at break-time.
‘What?’
‘That thing where you were talking to me in the lesson but you were also listening to Mr Guttersnipe at the same time? At least I suppose you were listening at the same time, because otherwise how would you have known the answer?’ Pippa babbled.
‘Oh, it’s all a case of extra-compensatory perception,’ Tallulah said vaguely.
The pug in her bag let out a small snort.
Pippa chewed her lip and watched the pug carefully, but the little dog curled up and seemed to go to straight to sleep. Meanwhile Tallulah had cheerfully launched into another long story involving her parents and a rare species of parrot they had discovered, that could play the accordion and count backwards in Mandarin Chinese.
‘This girl is fantastic,’ Pippa said to herself. ‘I do hope Dash likes her dog. Then we can have lots of fun together! I must find a way of introducing them.’