3
‘MRS F., MRS F.!’ cried Pippa, flinging open the door of Chop ’n’ Chat. She propped her skateboard up against the wall, hurled her coat and scarf on to the pegs and skittered down the hall with a hop and a jump. ‘You’ll never guess what happened to me today!’ she shouted.
She was so excited she couldn’t wait until she was in the same room as Mrs Fudge before starting to speak. Although, had she stopped to think, she would have realized that it was a waste of effort, for Mrs Fudge (as you may remember if you have met her before) was a trifle deaf.
And even if Mrs Fudge had been able to hear perfectly through two brick walls and a closed door, the jolly old lady had her hands full as usual.
She was in the middle of dealing with a frisky Border terrier called Jasper whose whiskery face had become more than a little overgrown, which is not a good look for anyone. The whiskers had started to collect unwanted bits and pieces in them such as worms and pencil shavings and biscuit crumbs and Sellotape. Jasper’s owner, a bright-as-a-button and delightful child called Millie Rule, was struggling to keep the pooch still while Mrs Fudge gently removed the offending items and combed the matted fur. She spoke soothingly to the irritable little dog as she worked.
‘There, there, Jasper,’ she was saying. ‘I know it hurts a bit, but you’ve got so many nasty tangles. Nearly done . . .’
Dash was sitting at her feet, yapping out instructions to the dog and sounding a lot less gentle and understanding than Mrs Fudge was. ‘Sit still, can’t you? Mrs Fudge won’t be able to do anything with you if you insist on twisting and turning like that.’
‘Grrrrr,’ said Jasper.
‘There, there,’ said Millie, copying Mrs Fudge’s soothing manner.
‘Miaaooow!’ complained Muffles. The poor cat was trying to have forty winks on the countertop and was finding all these interruptions most aggravating.
‘Ah, thank goodness you’re here, Pippa,’ said Mrs Fudge, looking up. ‘Could you give us a hand?’ Mrs Fudge nodded to Dash, making it plain that she would find her job a lot easier without the noisy little dachshund under her feet. ‘And perhaps a glass of lemonade for young Millie here,’ she added, gesturing to the girl.
Mrs Fudge checked her late husband’s gold pocket watch and tutted. ‘Millicent Beadle will be here in five minutes.’
‘Don’t you want to hear about my new friends?’ asked Pippa, as she scooped up a protesting Dash. But Mrs Fudge was wrestling with the terrier now and could only be heard to mutter, ‘My, aren’t we feisty? Why don’t you take a seat, Millie dear, while Pippa brings some refreshments?’
‘Yes, Mrs Fudge,’ said Millie. She looked longingly at Pippa to emphasize how much she was looking forward to that glass of lemonade.
Pippa sighed and, taking the hint, made her way out to the kitchen. Dash struggled vigorously in her arms.
‘Do you mind?’ he said irritably. ‘I was helping Mrs Fudge. I do object to being picked up and thrown around the place without so much as a by-your-leave.’
‘Actually,’ said Pippa, once they were out of the salon so that Millie wouldn’t hear her having a conversation with a dog, ‘you were not helping. You were in the way. Now, why don’t you stop yapping and listen to me?’
‘Yapping?’ protested Dash. ‘YAPPING? I’ll have you know—’
‘Yes, I’m sure you will,’ said Pippa. She put him down on the kitchen floor and stood over him, her hands on her hips.
Dash never liked it when she did this, as it only served to remind him how under-tall he was. He sat up on his stocky little haunches and held his head as high as he could, with his pointy nose in the air. It was his most distinguished look, and he knew how to use it for maximum effect.
‘That’s better,’ said Pippa. She smiled wryly at the proud miniature dachshund. She put the kettle on and then sat on a kitchen chair so that she was closer to Dash. ‘What would you say if I told you that I have made a friend – at school?’
Dash flattened his ears and showed the whites of his eyes. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I’d say that was a turn-up for the books! I thought you hated the place and everyone in it.’
‘I know. I do. I mean, I have done . . .’ said Pippa, ‘in the past. But everything’s different now. There’s this new girl and she is AMAZING. She doesn’t care what anyone thinks about her, she took no notice of the Popular People like Candida Smiley and she has the most wonderful red hair just like me – only it isn’t exactly like mine as it’s big and whoofy and full of bounce, but it is red! And even better than all of this: she has a dog! I can’t wait for you to meet them. I might bring them around tomorrow. Do you think Mrs F. would mind?’
‘That depends . . .’ Dash began.
But Pippa was not really interested in his opinion. She was too busy jabbering on about her new friend.
‘She is incredibly clever and knows everything about everything! And her dog is a pug, like Coral Jones’s dog Winston. And he is gorgeous. Tallulah brings him to school – that proves she is not like anyone else in that boring old place. None of the others would dare do that. He’s so cute! And she lives with her grandfather who is a famous professor and her parents are famous scientists who travel all over the world –’ she was getting a little carried away here, as Tallulah had said nothing whatsoever about her parents or grandfather being famous – ‘and I’m sure you’ll be the best of friends. We could go on walks, all four of us. Oh, I think life is going to be perfect from now on!’ Pippa clasped her hands together and sighed happily.
Dash snarled softly. ‘Just because you happen to think this girl’s dog is “gorgeous”, it does not necessarily mean that he and I will get along,’ he said. ‘Everyone in Crumbly-under-Edge has “gorgeous” dogs. That’s why Mrs Fudge opened the pooch-pampering parlour, for heaven’s sake. But I am not “the best of friends” with all of them, am I?’
Dash was clearly a little jealous. ‘Do I need to remind you that you already have a friend? And a dog, for that matter?’ he added huffily.
‘What is the matter?’ Pippa frowned, backing away slightly, for Dash’s snarling had gone up a notch.
‘I am your friend,’ said the miniature dachshund. He spoke slowly and clearly as if speaking to someone of very little brain, ‘and I am a dog.’
Pippa blushed. ‘I know you are my friend, but you are not my dog, are you? You are not actually anyone’s dog. You turned up in the middle of that storm and you wouldn’t say where you’d come from. You live at Mrs Fudge’s place, but I don’t think even she would say that she owns you. You are special like that,’ she added, warming to her theme. (She knew how to win Dash round, and it was working.)
‘Yes, w-well – all right, I see what you mean,’ said Dash. He looked up at Pippa bashfully, his chocolate-drop eyes wide and his feathery ears flat. ‘I am very much my own dog, you are quite right. So, this newcomer. Tell me more.’
Pippa gave him a knowing smile. She could see that he was actually quite inquisitive, though he did not like to admit it. Then she told Dash everything she knew about Tallulah and Smug. As she spoke, she became more and more animated, and Dash, try as he might, found himself becoming more and more prickly. When Pippa told him the dog’s name, he couldn’t help yelping in amusement.
‘Smug?’ he squeaked. ‘I bet he lives up to his name too.’
Pippa scrunched up her face into a particularly fearsome scowl and crossed her arms tightly across her chest. ‘Well,’ she said, ‘if you’re going to be like that, you won’t be wanting to meet them, will you?’
‘Meet who, dear?’ asked Mrs Fudge. ‘Have you got that glass of lemonade?’
A very thirsty Millie was right behind the old lady, and an equally thirsty Jasper was straining at his leash.
‘See?’ Dash muttered. ‘You have already forgotten your responsibilities to your old friends.’
Pippa ignored him and beamed at Mrs Fudge. ‘I was talking about my new friends!’ she said. Then, seeing Millie’s puzzled face, she said, ‘I mean, I was thinking about my new friends. You can meet them yourself, Mrs Fudge. I will bring them to Chop ’n’ Chat just as soon as I can.’
Then she whirled around before Dash could chip in with any more spiteful remarks and busied herself with fetching the refreshments.