Anna awoke the next morning to the sound of her alarm chirping, her entire body protesting as she groped for the phone. Four thirty, the screen read, signaling the end of everything. Too soon, too soon.
She flopped back into the bed just as the shower turned on. The man had taken his second shower not four hours ago, but he was in there again, standing under the pounding torrent. Probably to give her time, she thought. He was good at figuring out her needs and making sure they were met. Too good at it, apparently, since now she was almost on her way to Boston, and he was staying here.
After everything they’d done together, been together, she’d managed to screw up her perfect weekend with Jake in the space of fifteen minutes. She’d literally been unable to even string together coherent words at the end of their shouting match. He’d intercepted her when she would have stumbled to the couch, and gently but silently redirected her to the bed. He hadn’t climbed in with her, though. Instead, he’d slept … somewhere. Out in the other room of the suite, on one of the couches, she didn’t know. She’d buried herself in a bunker of pillows and covers and cried herself to sleep as silently as possible. Too soon, too soon.
She was ready at the bathroom door when he walked out, and they passed each other without speaking. By the time she had finished her own shower, Jake was separating their stuff out of the bags, refilling her carry-on.
“Figured a cab might be the smarter way to go,” he said. “That way you don’t have to worry about dressing in boots and a jacket and then having to change at the airport.”
She blinked at him, then automatically moved to the bags. “I can do that,” she said. He let her, standing away as soon as she drew near, and then returned to the bathroom to collect his own supplies. She heard his phone ring, heard him say “Airport,” and her heart twisted again inside. It was all still too soon.
Her hands stilled on the leather jacket she was holding, and she stared down at it, willing the tears not to fall. She heard Jake come out of the bathroom. Without looking at him, she held the jacket up. “Do you—,” she began, then her voice got tangled up. She stopped, tried again. “Do you want this ba—”
“Keep it, Anna,” he said, the words neutral. Polite. “It’s a gift. So are the boots.”
All she could do was nod. She had everything packed not three minutes later, and when she looked up, it was to find him watching her, his eyes carefully distant. “Jake …”
“It’s okay, Anna, really.” He moved forward, away from the counter he’d been leaning against, and picked up her bag. “We’d better get going, though. Get you downstairs. Your flight looks like it’s on time.”
“Great,” Anna said, managing a smile every bit as polite as his. “That’s just great.”
She made it all the way downstairs without shedding a tear. She knew how to do this. She knew how to put on a show. Even their stilted good-bye hug didn’t fully register. It wasn’t until she was in the cab and heading out of town, the hotel no longer looming over her, that she let the tears fall.
The rest of the morning passed in a blur. The cabbie had kept quiet, and no one in the airport had intruded to ask why the tired-eyed blonde was crying her eyes out at five thirty in the morning. It’d only taken her three coffees and the world’s biggest cinnamon roll to drown her tears with sugar and caffeine, and she’d grimly washed her face with shaking hands after that, finally looking almost normal again. The stupid flight had gotten her up to Boston in record time, and now she was already at work, while Jake was still probably somewhere in Virginia. He had to get home eventually, though. Would he ride all the way to Boston? Would he go back to Charleston to return his friend’s bike, then catch a flight? Would she see him again?
She didn’t know. And she sure as hell shouldn’t care. She’d dumped him. Even though his request that she ride off into the sunset with him was absolutely ridiculous, he was entitled to his anger. But as she went over and over everything Jake had said to her, there was something in his words that kept tripping her up, something that clamored for attention, not willing to let her go.
“Earth to Anna. You’ve got to get it together. I need you on your game.”
Anna turned and scowled at Todd, trying to convince herself not to rip his eyes out. “What is it with you, Todd? What’s your problem today?” Her voice was too loud, too sharp, but so what. She had every right to be stressed.
“What? It’s too much to expect you to make it in on time after your big-date weekend?” Todd fumed. “You managed to come off pretty good over the phone, but now, when you actually have to perform in person, you can’t do your job?”
“I am doing my job. I am here.” She picked up a thick file and waved it at him. “I am working on a quarterly client report. That is my job.”
“Not anymore, it isn’t. Things have changed. Again. Which you would have known if you’d been here on time this morning.” Todd’s grin was triumphant, and Anna wondered if this was why she had to come in today, why he’d been so insistent, downright threatening, that she not miss the day’s round of meetings, even though a good third of their staff was out of the office on assignment or vacation.
“What, Todd?” Anna asked, the fight going out of her just that quickly. If he was going to insist on being in her face all week, he might as well be useful and give her information. “What is it that you know that I don’t?”
“I guess you’ll have to wait until the one o’clock now.” Todd shrugged, his smile practically a leer. “But I guarantee you’re going to like it.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Anna’s cell phone chirped, and she glanced down at it. “I’ve got to take this.”
“I thought you—”
“Client.” Anna waved him off and put the phone to her ear, striding toward the back of the office where the private consultation rooms were. “Hello, Mr. Jameson. I’m so glad you were able to call me back,” she said, just a little too loudly.
On the phone, Lacey Dawes giggled. “I’ve never been a Mr. Jameson before,” she said. “Is he cute?”
“Totally hot.” Anna found an empty conference room and entered it, closing the door behind her. She couldn’t lock herself in; this was the best she could do. She made her way to the small, round conference table and slumped over. “How’s London?”
“Amazing—what I’ve seen of it,” Lacey said, and Anna felt a sharp tug on her heart as Lacey ran down the latest adventures of the band, the industry, and their international venues. Her best friend deserved this happiness. She’d had a fairy-tale dream come true in landing the account of rock star Dante Falcone, including serving as his tour handler for the past several weeks. And that was only the boring part of the dream—she’d gone on to hook up with the rock star, a guy she’d crushed on since she was in braces, and now she was his full-time manager. She was on another freaking continent with an international rock god, while Anna was stuck taking meetings with Todd—and missing out on riding through the countryside with her own dream guy.
Her lips twisted. Jake Flynn would have scoffed at being included on any kind of list like that. And she hadn’t made the wrong decision here. Jake was the exact opposite of everything she’d ever wanted in a guy—even his undeniable hotness wasn’t the right make and model for her. She had always wanted someone who was successful, polished, and sexy in a very upwardly mobile way. Someone who was responsible. Who had a good job and the assets to show for it. Not a freewheeling motorcycle mechanic who could randomly up and leave the country for an entire year, without so much as a suitcase or a backward glance. A guy who looked at her as if she was really something, who challenged her every belief about herself. A guy who had more confidence and more genuine swagger than a boardroom full of suits earning six times what he made. A guy who seemed like he’d never need anyone, and yet who said he wanted her. Not to do anything for him … just to share the road for a little while, just to be.
Yup, totally wrong guy for her. Completely.
“Yo, Anna!” Lacey cut into her thoughts. “This has to be the longest I’ve ever gone without you interrupting me. Are you still there?”
“I’m here,” Anna said, forcing the smile into her voice. “Sorry.”
“So, spill already!” Lacey said. “How did the weekend go with Jake? I always was a little scared of him, you know.”
“Yeah, right,” Anna said, though if she was being honest, she’d probably been a little scared of Jake Flynn, too, all of these months. Which is something else she never would have thought she’d look for in a guy. “This coming from the girlfriend of a rock star.”
“I’m serious!” Lacey said. “He just seems so … I don’t know. Wild, but wild in a totally different way than Dante. Like he’d just as soon kidnap you on his motorcycle and do insanely wicked things to you as give you the time of day.”
“Something like that,” Anna murmured, her words trailing off as she stared at the closed door.
“Oh?” Lacey said. “Something like what? Something like kidnapping you on his motorcycle and doing insanely wicked things? Did you two take your fake relationship that far, please tell me yes?”
Anna laughed, but there wasn’t any reason to deny it. “Maybe he did.” Amazingly so. “Maybe we did a whole bunch of wicked things.” A whole bunch of mind-blowing, unforgettable, amazing wicked things that Anna had just walked out on as if they had meant nothing. As if Jake had meant nothing.
“A whole bunch?” Lacey pounced on the word. “You have to tell me everything! Did you have fun? Are you going to keep seeing him?”
“If only.” Anna grimaced. “But the weekend was so much more awesome than I ever expected it to be, Lacey. More awesome than it should have been. He got a bike down there from a friend of his, and we rode around all weekend, even when I had my bridesmaid’s gown on.”
Lacey’s laughter went a long way toward soothing nerves Anna hadn’t really been aware were so frayed, but a sharp knock on the door interrupted the moment.
One of her other team members—not Todd, for once—poked her head in the door. “Sorry, Anna, another meeting’s about to begin. I’ve been sent to rally the troops.”
Anna nodded, but Lacey wasn’t done with her. “So what’s next with you two?” she asked. “I’m serious. Are you going to see him again? Are you guys going to date for real or something, now that you’re both back in town?”
Tears suddenly sprang to Anna’s eyes, and she shook her head, even though there was no way that Lacey could see her do that over the phone. “No dating,” she said. “He’s just about done with his grandma’s place, and, you know. I’ve got work. We … we talked, and, yeah. It’s just … it’s not going to work out like that.”
Lacey was quiet on the other end of the phone for a long second, but when she spoke, her words were soft. “I’m sorry, Anna,” she said.
The dam threatened to burst, and Anna stood up and smoothed down her suit. “Me too,” she said quickly. “I’ve got to go.”
She made it to the large conference room without any waterworks, and sat down in the chair farthest away from Todd. He was busily talking to the execs at the head of the table, and she watched him knowing that he was the guy she’d planned on being with all along. But now, after having spent only a few days with Jake, she wondered how she ever could have even dated Todd. He was so fake when it came to any conversations outside of work, so driven and focused on his career. He didn’t understand the need for downtime, let alone take any of it. In all the time they dated, she’d never seen his parents, even though they lived in the Boston area—they were estranged. It’s not like she’d taken Todd to see her mom, either. They’d just worked and dated and worked some more, racking up frequent-flyer miles instead of memories, exactly what Jake accused her of doing. It was pathetic, really.
The bustle at the head of the room indicated that the meeting was about to begin. Todd launched in immediately.
“We’ve had several intriguing new developments with Zenryou Industries, and I’d like to thank those of you who were able to dial in to our conference call last night. Especially Anna, whose background work and supplemental materials proved our case very well to our Japanese counterparts.” He smiled magnanimously at Anna, and her fingers twitched on her coffee cup, her brain calculating the trajectory from table to skull. “So much so that they’ve extended the contract, and asked to have additional team members join them in Yokomata City. After discussing it with the team leads, the decision has been made to send myself, Anna, Derrick, and Mary—possibly more, we’ll know in a few days. We’ll be in Japan for the remainder of the summer at least, but no longer than the fall at the outside. Congratulations, everyone.”
Anna sat completely still in her chair, staring at Todd as conversation erupted all over the room. He had to be kidding her. Two months—maybe more—stuck with him in a foreign country? The assignment was a coup, she knew that, but—was he insane? There was no way she could endure that.
“Congratulations, Anna.” Suddenly in front of her was Cindy, her direct supervisor, who was holding out her hand and looking as polished as ever in her classic tailored suit. “I received word from our Japanese team regarding your work on last night’s phone call, and enthusiastically supported your reassignment. There’s a lot to do over the next few days, and I know you have family coming in at the end of the week, so I want to make sure that you have that time free for them. But rest assured, your efforts are highly valued here. Your file will be flagged for your upcoming performance review to receive special consideration.”
“Thank you,” Anna said, returning her manager’s handshake firmly and giving her a winning smile, even though she knew she’d probably be spending most of the night at the office—and the following night, too. “I’m delighted to be a part of the new team.”
Only as she turned away, she didn’t feel delighted. She felt a dark hole opening up inside her, so big it hurt to breathe.
By the time Jake made it into his garage Monday night, it was well past midnight. The bike had handled well, and with a little work would be a top-notch machine for a long time to come. His buddy had been more than happy to spring for the ticket up to Boston in return for a souped-up “scooter,” so that was an easy enough swap. He’d wrap that work up while he was finishing his grandmother’s brownstone, then he’d be free to go.
A lot of miles had passed beneath him today, but his head was still fucked up over Anna. He imagined her in her little forties pinup girl suit, walking around her office, chugging coffee, sitting in meetings. He shouldn’t have been surprised that they weren’t good for more than a weekend. She was wound too tight and he flew off the handle too easily. But dammit … there had been more between them than just a weekend fling. He’d felt it. He’d known it.
And yet, for all of that, just one order from her dickhead ex and she was running back to Boston like a soldier reporting for duty. She would always be at the guy’s beck and call, he supposed. What kind of life was that?
He threw his bag down on the table, then picked it up and dumped the contents out. Amid the crap he’d packed for the wedding, a glint of metal caught his eye. He moved his shirts aside, and picked up the small pearl earring. Had to be Anna’s. It was so tiny, especially in his big hand, and he set it carefully down on the side counter. Then he moved it again, and then yet another time, finally deciding it would be safe in a bowl that he placed on the center of the table, until he could get it back to her. He didn’t know if she’d missed it already, but sooner or later she’d notice it was gone—and know where it had to be.
Secretly, selfishly, Jake was glad that she’d misplaced the thing. It meant that he could see her again, and as stupid of an idea as that was, it made him feel good.
He was way too keyed up to sleep, though, and he looked around the brownstone’s kitchen. The place was spotless. Other than cleaning out his grandmother’s bedroom, he really had nothing else to do but contact the realtor. He looked up as if he could see through the various floors into Gran’s tiny bedroom at the very top of the house. He’d been putting this off too long, but there was no time like the present, especially if the herd of them were going to descend on him at the end of the week. Besides, it wasn’t like he was going to sleep. He grabbed the tape and the flattened boxes that had been sitting there for weeks, just waiting for him to start this project, and moved upstairs.
He flipped the light on and entered his grandmother’s rose-pink sanctuary. The entire room was stuffed full of knickknacks, pictures, scraps of cloth from some long-ago dress, costume jewelry, the works. His grandmother, with the benefit of distance and fading memory, had asked for only a few items to be saved. The rest could be given away or dumped. She hadn’t mentioned the pictures, but there was no way Jake wasn’t bringing those home. His own mother would want them, or would at least know who they were, if his grandmother could no longer identify the fading images.
Setting to work, he first tried to find the items his grandmother had wanted, but the pictures caught him up short. He found himself looking at each one, then wrapping it in newsprint and boxing it up, decades of memories caught in cheap black-and-silver frames. He saw pictures of his mother as a little girl, and then the family all through the years, through marriage and a sprawling house full of kids. He spent a long time staring at a picture of himself with his dad, when he was maybe only seven years old. His dad was beaming down at him, both of them proudly holding up just-caught fish. He’d already lost five years with the old man. How many more was he willing to lose?
He cleared away kids’ art and papers, newspaper clippings, and a virtual mountain of cards. And through it all, his mind kept straying to Anna. She was an only child, and then her father had passed away and she and her mother had braved it all alone. Her mother had formed another family and had a baby, but what about Anna? All she had was her work. Work was her family, her one true constant. Was it any wonder that she couldn’t let it go?
But … Jake couldn’t let her go, either. It hadn’t just been the fantasy of the weekend. Anna made him feel … solid. Certain. Like, no matter how intense his emotions, no matter how big, he could let them out with her and it would be okay. And weirdly enough, just having her around seemed to take the edge of desperation off those feelings. Like he could let them be as big as they needed to be, and it would still be all right. He couldn’t understand it all, but he did know this: he didn’t want to let her go. The weekend had been more than fun for him, it had been the start of something, the start of something maybe really good. Something that didn’t deserve to end so quickly, at any rate, just because one little roadblock had been thrown up. So what if Anna worked a lot? He could roll with that. They had the whole summer to figure it out, right? The woman couldn’t work all the time.
And he did have something to offer her, too. Something she wouldn’t be expecting. Something that he’d never fully understood the value of, maybe, until right this second.
He pulled out his phone and checked the time. Two A.M. Too late to call home.
He sent a text off to his mom anyway, not knowing if it was the right thing to do.