“Hey, are you okay?”
“What?” Dani looked up sharply, startled to see Erin in the front parlor. It was the least visited room in the brownstone, but Erin always kept it the way her gran had liked it, with crocheted throws on the couches, and bright, cheery pillows piled up on the threadbare cushions of the curved, upholstered chairs. “Sorry, I thought you were at work. You need the room?”
“Since when would I need the room? I don’t even come in here, other than to clean. I didn’t think you did, either.” Erin crossed the thick-piled rug, picked out in a faded, formal pattern of deep reds and blacks, and took the chair opposite Dani. She was so small she didn’t have to move the pillows to perch, and Dani sat a little straighter, feeling suddenly exposed, though she was covered with one of Gran’s blankets.
“Watching the snow,” she said, gesturing to the front window. Outside, a whirl of broad, faceted flakes broke up the unrelenting gray background. She was grateful for them. They gave her mind something to focus on, her eyes something to watch. She’d schooled herself to check her phone only after she’d counted a hundred separate snowflakes. So far, she’d only made it to thirty before caving and starting over.
“Yeah, well, seriously,” Erin began again, her voice sounding stern enough to pull Dani’s attention away from the winter tableau. “Are you okay? You learn anything more from the hospital?”
“Not really.” Still, Dani fixed her gaze on Erin. Her friend wasn’t an idiot, and she was looking for something to explain Dani’s funk. The news from the hospital was certainly part of that. “Nell has to see a specialist, but at least she had the good luck to have a heart problem in Boston. Children’s Hospital here is the best, and they’re even bringing a guy in from Philadelphia to consult. She’ll be okay.” Dani blew out a breath. “They’ll all be okay.”
“And you? Is everything going well with you and Rand?”
“Well, sure it is.” Dani affected a grin, adding a little more fire behind it when Erin’s brows didn’t stop that scrunching thing they did. “Dude, I’m dating a megamillionaire. What’s not to love?”
“Well, that’s what I mean. You seem seriously down, and I just wanted to make sure you guys hadn’t broken up or anything on top of everything you’ve gone through with Jimmy.”
“Oh, no.” Dani jumped as her phone buzzed. Rand’s typical short, terse text message listed a time, but no location. Her hand spasmed on the device, her heart rate jumping, then she tossed it aside. “See? That was him there, wanting to see me.”
“Well, good.” Erin tilted her head as a smile finally curved her lips. “Soooo, you’re seeing him tonight? Does this mean I’m finally going to officially meet the man? I mean, you guys have been dating each other almost a month, after all.”
“Twenty-seven days, yup,” Dani said.
“Whoa! I never thought I’d see the day when Dani Michaels actually counted the days she’s been with a guy,” Erin teased, but there was no discounting the real affection in her voice. “He’s really got you, doesn’t he?”
“Yeah, he really does.” Dani kept her smile steady, her gaze dropping again to her phone. For the next three days, anyway, she thought. After that, she was home free. No more sneering from Rand’s sister and brother, no more feeling out of place in borrowed clothes. And most importantly, no more wanting something—just a little—that she couldn’t ever really have. She and Rand didn’t just live on opposite sides of the city, they existed on opposite sides of the world. She knew it and he knew it. She wondered if he was looking forward to the end of their agreement as much as she was. Probably, if he was honest with himself.
But first she had to get through tonight. For Jimmy’s sake. For Nell’s sake. Piece of cake, she told herself sternly. Piece of cake.
Hours later, she wasn’t so sure. Dani pressed her lips together as Rand’s car snaked through the now-familiar Boston streets. Thankfully, Erin and Zander had already had plans, and so had left for the evening without even knowing that Rand was stopping by. If they had, there’s no way Dani would have gotten away so cleanly. But by the time Rand had cruised to a stop in front of the brownstone, she’d already been out the door, dressed for a club.
But as they made another sharp turn, she knew that he was heading for his apartment, not any sort of club. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?
Probably bad, she decided. Probably definitely bad.
“Are you sure you’re not hungry? We can stop somewhere—”
“I’m fine,” Dani said, too quickly. Ease up, ease up. She unlocked her face enough to turn to him. “Unless that’s a subtle hint that you’re starving and are just too much of a gentleman to say so.”
“I’ve never been accused of being too much of a gentleman.” He didn’t return her glance, but his smile spoke volumes as he focused on the evening traffic. It was a typically frigid night, but the air felt clean, almost sharp, with none of the damp chill that had been plaguing the city. Any other night, Dani would have rolled down the windows just to suck in the bracing blast, if only for a moment. Now she wanted to burrow down deep and pretend it was already spring.
Still, she was in the home stretch, and she just needed to suck it up and get this done. And after long and careful thought, she had to admit that her memories of their scene together at Darke were not all negative. Not even mostly negative. Once she’d gotten past the idea that Rand was going to restrain her and she’d processed all of the irrational memories and reactions that brought up, she’d remembered the truth of their last experience. She’d even fallen into at least the fantasy of giving him control, letting herself focus on indulging in the heady slide into a haze of pleasure and almost unreasonable relaxation, her brain able to focus only on the intense physical reactions he was generating along every inch of her body.
That’s what she needed to focus on now; that’s what she needed to remember.
It wasn’t working so far, of course. But she still had time.
Or maybe she didn’t. Dani swallowed as they angled onto Rand’s street, which somehow had come up much more quickly than she’d anticipated, but neither one of them spoke. She suspected Rand was enjoying the slow tightening of her tension, not realizing everything that was going on in her mind.
He was probably thinking that she was just some sort of newbie to the kink scene, someone who always looked but never took part, and that she just needed the right hand to lead her onto that path more securely. That with his long, beautiful fingers he could just tighten the cuffs at her wrists, and—
Panic sliced through her again, quick and jolting, before eddying off into a queasy feeling of near vertigo. Okay, definitely not something she wanted explore too deeply. Probably something she shouldn’t think about again until she had to.
Instead, Dani hunkered as subtly as possible into her coat, glad for its warmth. She’d chosen the thing with unusual care—a long, almost ground-length vintage duster that was heavier than it looked. It paired well with her gloves and boots and hat, but Dani suspected she wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all Rand Sterling Winston IV. No amount of layering in the world could hide the fact that she was feeling completely stripped bare.
Rand pulled into the parking spot, and she was out of the car and at the elevator almost before he’d turned the engine off. Without speaking to her, he swiped the sensor with his key, and with gratifying speed, the elevator door swooshed open. Dani let out all the air she’d been storing in her lungs, trying for the yoga breaths Erin was always after her to use. This would be a good time for her to become spontaneously skilled at deep relaxation, that was for sure. They reached the penthouse floor and exited the elevator, then Rand keyed the lock and opened his front door, gesturing her inside. “Can I take your coat?”
“I’ve got it.” Dani stalked into his gleaming foyer, pausing at the coat stand.
“And yet, I’m afraid I must insist.” Rand was right behind her now, trapping her against the stand with the sheer power of his body’s presence. Not crowding her, but looming. “We’ve done this before, Dani,” he reminded her. And they had. Of course they had. It was fine.
Dani allowed Rand to draw her hat off her head. He set it on top of the stand before smoothing her long hair. Then he turned her around to face him. She steeled herself, but Rand wasn’t looking at her, exactly. Instead, his gaze shifted down as he lifted her unresisting hands to remove her mittens. He deposited those on the stand as well, and his gaze did move to her face then, the intense satisfaction in his eyes rooting Dani to the spot.
“I think you’ll find it’s quite warm in here,” he said, as slowly, and with great focus, his hands went to the buttons of her coat. His fingers worked the closures open, and he moved down her body smoothly, even kneeling as he finished the last of them. For some reason, seeing him in that pose messed with Dani’s equilibrium, and it was all she could do not to sway. Then he was standing, pressing the coat back and off her shoulders. Just as she was about to break free of the coat’s restriction, however, Rand pressed his hands harder against her arms, pinning them against her body through the heavy fabric as he lifted up slightly, bringing her to her toes. She blinked rapidly, an objection on her lips as she struggled to maintain her balance, but he just pulled her to him for a long, slow kiss, which he deepened without letting her go, until Dani was forced to relax into his hold, easing her weight into his embrace.
The moment she did, she could feel the curve of his lips against hers.
“There now,” he said, drawing back to look at her. “That wasn’t so hard.”
She smiled automatically, holding on to the tattered ends of her control. “I suppose you’re right.”
He set her back on her feet and removed the coat, his gaze raking over her critically, taking in the simple wrap dress. His eyes held an open question as to what lay beneath it.
On that score, at least, Dani was in her element. The lingerie set she’d chosen for tonight was expensive and unique enough that she hoped Rand wouldn’t get all scissor-happy on her, and the boots were a grade-A fuck-me style to match it. Even her dress had been chosen strategically. It could be unwrapped to hang open, if her being half-dressed was his kink, or he could take it off. The packaging really wasn’t the problem here, she knew. It was the clusterfuck of what lay inside.
Man up, she ordered herself. He is not going to hurt you. He’s just doing this to get his rocks off, so go through with it and be done.
Dani allowed a slow smile to stretch her lips. Well, that type of tough love was helping a lot better than yoga breathing, she had to say.
Rand returned her smile, his gaze searching her face. To her intense relief, he didn’t continue the striptease, but reached out to brush her hair back, tucking a long strand behind her ear. “Thank you for coming tonight, Dani,” he said, and his eyes betrayed a strange softness that hit her by surprise. “It means a lot for me to have you here.”
“Of course,” she murmured, letting him take her hand and draw her down the long, gleaming hallway. She once more admired the sharp cut of his suit over his shoulders, his trim waist, and long, elegant legs. She was almost feeling good about things again as she stepped onto the plush carpeting of his living room. Then she turned fully into the room and stopped cold.
“What the fuck is that?”
At the sharp crack of Dani’s voice, Rand turned, savoring this moment for all it was worth. Dani’s color was high, her eyes bright and hard as she stared at the structure in the center of the room. It was a cross not unlike the one in the club, but he understood her reaction to it. Seeing it sitting in the center of his own expensively decorated home had been jarring even for him. He’d polished the metal to a high sheen, imagining Dani’s body strapped over it, his own body reacting to the thought of her every move, every sigh, every plea.
Even now, he tightened his fist against the pleasure coursing through him, willing himself to take this as slow as she needed. They had all night, after all. And if he had anything to say about it—which, of course, he did—they would have far more than the night to explore every inch of their mutual needs and desires. At least for him, those needs and desires seemed to be increasing exponentially every time he saw this woman.
He took the necessary steps forward, drawing her into the room until she was mere feet away from the cross. Her eyes seemed to grow larger as she stepped closer to it, looking more than anything like some sort of virgin about to sacrifice herself to the gods. He should feel worse about that, awkward that he was enjoying her discomposure so thoroughly. And yet he could also see the excitement lining the edge of her hysteria, the desire to let go burning so hot in her gaze that it was almost a physical thing.
“Where did you get this?” she finally managed, her voice rough and scratchy.
“Wealth has its privileges. You like it?”
“It’s obscene.” As if she were willing herself to reach out and touch a live snake, Dani lifted a faltering hand and pressed it to the cool black metal. It was tipped with deep-purple padded cushions, and featured another cushion where the two arms crossed. The apparatus was intended to be bolted to a floor or a wall, but he’d paid extra for freestanding weighted anchors, which allowed him all of the leverage he needed, with none of the permanence.
Just like he preferred most things in his life.
“Explore it,” he said, stepping back from her. “But first, take off your dress.”
“What?” The panic that laced Dani’s one-word question scored through him. He’d been right about her decision to choose that particular dress for this night. She’d been hoping he’d let her keep it on. But that wasn’t going to happen. This was all about peeling back Dani’s layers, one at a time. The physical ones were the easiest place to start.
He gestured at her dress as she scowled at him. “It’s very lovely, but I’d like to see more of you. Take it off.”
He could see her hesitation as she considered whether or not to comply, the war going on behind her eyes. But in the end, these were just clothes, and he knew the moment she came to terms with that fact, her hands going to the belt cinched at her waist without even a tremor. Instead, she stared stonily at him as she unfastened the long slip of cloth, then pulled the dress open with a smooth movement, letting it drop to the floor. The action was quick and efficient, classic Dani.
But what was underneath was something else again.
There was no way Rand would have been able to stop the low exhalation of pleasure that escaped him, even if he wanted to. And by the way Dani’s chin came up, strength once more vibrating through her, she saw the truth of his reaction. “Very nice.”
And this was the impossible part of the scenario. He would swear that something bad had happened to Dani in her past. Something that hadn’t been crippling, hadn’t been insurmountable, but which she’d felt the need to lock tightly away, to not let stand in the light of day. It had something to do with bondage, and yet, she’d been the one who’d brought him to Darke. She’d been the one whose face had been transformed by the scenes of pleasure and surrender.
And she was the one standing in front of him, dressed like any man’s ultimate fantasy. So what was the truth, and what was the act?
She grinned then, jutting out a hip to give the outfit its due. The lingerie set lay flat against her body; it had gone completely undetected by him through her dress, but that had to be some sort of miracle of modern engineering. Made of a sleek, stretchy material that shimmered like leather but was clearly much more forgiving, it was a bra-and-miniskirt slip set that hugged Dani’s body like a glove. Unlike a glove, however, it was covered with gleaming silver zippers, their pulls flush against the fabric. The bottom of the skirt was pulled taut by thin straps that stretched down toward her boots, hooking into them front and back.
Despite his intention to stay at a distance from Dani for the moment, Rand found himself stepping closer to her, his hands reaching out to finger a pull just over her left breast. He tugged it, and it moved easily, exposing a small peak of smooth, olive-toned skin. Rand pulled it a little farther, and the dusky rose of Dani’s nipple appeared, pebbled and tight though the room was far from cold. Rand dipped down, tasting its sweetness with his tongue, following Dani as she swayed slightly until she repositioned her feet. She didn’t touch him otherwise, and he didn’t touch her. And it was that tiny sliver of control that gave him the strength to lift his head at last, before he threw all of his careful plans to the wind.
He could tell by the dying hope in Dani’s eyes that she’d been hoping that he would.
“Lovely,” he said, pulling the zipper smoothly closed again. Then he stepped back. “But why don’t we get started?” He gestured to the machine behind her, tracking Dani as she stiffened. “It’s not going to bite you, Dani. It’s very safe.”
“You’ve got one sick idea of safety, then.”
“And you should learn to trust someone once in a while.”
“Yeah, right.” He took a moment to remove his jacket, a movement that Dani was clearly aware of by her flinch, but she also seemed intrigued by the heavy cross. She turned and drew her hand along the sturdy beam, her fingers tightening as she attempted to pull the unit forward. It held, of course. Then she trailed her fingers up the bar to where the purple leather cuffs lay open against the gleaming steel. She blew out a long breath, not looking at him. “Is all this really necessary?” she asked, staring at the purple center padding of the cross.
Rand stepped close to her and reached for her wrist—her wrist, not her hand, a distinction she didn’t miss.
“It’s time, Dani,” he said as he drew her around to face him.