It was another two hours before they lay together on Rand’s bed, Dani curled up in his arms, exhausted by her emotional outburst, by his raw need, and by the passion that had flared up between them as it always did. He could just see the edge of her expensive lingerie, forgotten on the floor. Which is where most of her lingerie should remain, in his opinion.
He relished the experience of Dani at rest, her fire momentarily banked. It felt particularly right for her to be in his arms right now, her back against his chest, as she slept. He was careful not to move too much, suspecting that even now, she was just moments away from wakefulness. There was simply too much energy in her lithe form, too much wariness, for her to ever let her guard down completely, even in her sleep.
Even as he considered that, Dani stirred, coming to wakefulness beneath him. “You’re staring at me,” she said, not turning around to verify if her words were accurate, but simply knowing.
“You’re worth staring at.” Rand leaned forward and dropped a kiss on Dani’s shoulder, then shifted back as she turned to lie on her back, her head sinking into the down pillow—one of about a dozen the bed had boasted, most of them now on the floor next to the lingerie. She smiled up at him, her gaze searching his face.
“Should I even ask what you have in mind as an encore?”
Rand looked down at Dani’s beautiful face, her eyes still soft with sleep. And he said the words that had been brewing deep inside him for too long now. Words he didn’t fully understand, but still welcomed. Words that would give form and function to this thing growing between them, as fragile as spun glass.
“I want you to stay with me, Dani,” he said.
She quirked a brow as she looked at him. “Well, I wasn’t expecting to go home tonight.”
“Not just tonight. Ongoing. I want a real relationship with you.”
The stiffening of Dani’s body wasn’t subtle. She went rigid with wariness, sensing the danger but unsure of how to defuse it. “What are you talking about, a relationship?” she asked. “Is this some kind of joke?”
“Not a joke,” he said. He watched her face carefully, already feeling where this was going, but still unable to hold himself back. “A relationship between us only makes sense, Dani. Some would say we deserve each other.”
“Dear God, you are serious.” Dani lifted herself to her elbows, edging away from him. “Why are you doing this?” Her eyes widened, indignant anger sparking to life. “Is this some sort of weird retribution thing for you? Do you feel sorry for me for some reason now?”
“I don’t feel sorry for you,” he said, unsure if it was the force of his voice or his words that were keeping her from bolting outright from the bed. “Far from it. I simply can’t imagine life without you anymore. And I don’t have to imagine a life without you, Dani. There is nothing in this world that is keeping us apart right now.” He smiled at her wearily. “Other than you, apparently.”
“But, Rand, don’t be ridiculous.” The ragged fear in her too-shrill voice speared through him, and she held her body so tightly that it looked like it might shatter. “You have a IV that follows your name around, for God’s sake. I have a record that follows mine.”
Her protest made him want to smile, only now he recognized it for what it was, and continued taking her defenses apart, brick by timeworn brick. “And you’re the one I want to be with, Dani, for as long as you’ll have me. I don’t care if that’s a day, a week, a year. I don’t care if it’s a lifetime.”
“A lifetime! Oh, for God’s sake.” Her anger burned hotter, embarrassment heating her cheeks. “Now you’re just making fun of me.”
“I love you, Dani.”
The simple words took her completely by surprise. She went mute with shock. Rand pressed his advantage, leaning forward until she was forced to lift her chin to meet his gaze. “I want a relationship with you. A real relationship. Are you seriously going to look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want that, too? That you don’t want to be loved by me, and see where this could go?”
The direct question seemed to catch her off guard yet again. Her eyes popped wide, and she suddenly stilled, her entire being focused on him. He felt the thrill of that focus all the way to his bones. It was what he had been craving since the first moment that he had seen Dani Michaels, before he’d even known her name, that first connection when she’d glanced at him across a crowded room and then, just that quickly, had slid her gaze away to focus on some point on the wall. She’d only been looking to con him out of easy money then, but it hadn’t mattered. She’d captured him just that fast without even trying. And he’d been hers ever since.
But she still needed to say it out loud. He could tell she was trying, her lips trembling now as the words seemed to bubble up on their own, finally demanding to be heard. Even then, when speech finally came, it was barely more than a whisper. “I want…,” she began, and then she shook her head, her face suffused with an emotion he couldn’t name. “You know what, no. I don’t want that,” she said. “I want what we have now. I want this.” She waved her hand around his bedroom, the luxurious coverlet askew, their bodies naked and warm in the bed. “I want us to continue the arrangement we’ve already established, finish out the job we’ve already started. I still owe you a few more days on that, and I’m sticking to it. I have to take care of—”
“This is not about Jimmy. Not anymore,” Rand said, and his words came out more sharply than he intended. “Do you think for even one moment that I wouldn’t help ease the way of anyone you were connected with, or that I wouldn’t finance lifesaving surgery for their child? That is the whole point of having money, Dani. You get to spend it anyway you damn well please. So stop acting as if your time with me is some sort of payment for taking care of your foster brother, and accept that you are making decisions for yourself. That you are in charge of your own happiness, too, not just that of everyone around you. And now I’m asking you again, Dani. What is it that you want? What do you want from this relationship with me? To keep it as it is, giving you the excuse to fuck me for fun for the next few days before we both turn to whatever is next in our lives? Is that really what you want? And all you want—at least from me?”
Rand watched Dani with a keen intensity he’d honed over the past two decades, whether across the dinner table as a wary six-year-old finally understanding that he was playing a terrible game with his own father, or across the boardroom table with investors, allies, and enemies, all of them players in ongoing battles of wealth and power. He’d made it his business not to lose such battles, but he could see with each passing second that he was losing this one. Dani was shutting down, scrambling for the easy out, the answer that would placate him most without her giving any ground.
The hollowness that welled up inside him was unlike anything he’d ever felt before. And suddenly, for the first time in his life, he realized he couldn’t take the no.
Not now. Not from Dani.
So he did what he’d been trained to do—he took the answer out of her hands.
“How about you think about it,” he said, his voice once more carefully modulated, his smile easy, understanding. As if she’d change her mind with time and consideration. He leaned forward to kiss her despite himself, tasting the no she hadn’t said on her lips.
His entire body felt leaden as she sighed and smiled against him. “Fair enough. I think that makes sense,” she said, and the words struck him like the frozen rain that even now was pelting the Boston streets outside, coating the world in winter once again.
“So we’re agreed,” he murmured, pleased at the casual tone of his voice, the lack of concern masking the ache that threatened to close off his throat. “Now let’s both get some sleep. I have to leave early tomorrow. You can let yourself out.”
Even her satisfied sigh as she lay back down in his arms sounded like goodbye. Rand closed his eyes against the world and held her tight.