It’s been a week since I started seeing Drake and Derek, and my dad’s been avoiding me like the plague. It isn’t that hard to do because I leave in the mornings before he gets up. Then, while I’m at work, he leaves in the afternoon for his shift at the Drunken Rabbit, and he doesn’t get home until the wee hours of the morning when I’m fast asleep.
I know that my dad set this up, and I need to confront him about this. After all, who would agree to trade their daughter in return for getting their debts paid off? In fact, he’s not even really getting his debts paid off. Derek and Drake merely agreed to take over the loan from the loan sharks so that my dad won’t get his arms and legs broken while they wait for payment.
But I’m going to confront Patrick about this scenario because it’s wrong. He can’t pimp out his daughter this way, and I need to tell him exactly what I think. I sit patiently at the kitchen counter with my crochet again. Patrick hasn’t woken up yet, but I have this Saturday off, and he has to get up sooner or later. In a fit of inspiration, I put some coffee on the stove. The warm, rich aroma is bound to get to him.
Sure enough, within fifteen minutes, I hear some stirring sounds from his bedroom. My fingers crochet faster, and if I do say so myself, the hat is coming out quite well. Althea’s going to love it.
After about five minutes of banging around, Patrick finally makes his appearance in the kitchen. My dad has messed-up hair and obviously didn’t change his clothes before hitting the sack. He’s a rumpled mess and reaches blearily for the coffee.
“Hi Dad,” I say in a deceptively calm tone.
Patrick jumps a mile in the air.
“Oh hey there Mercy. I didn’t see you sitting there.”
I nod.
“Althea gave me today off. Mary Jane’s taken my shift at the shop.”
My dad nods and smiles wanly.
“I guess that explains the hot coffee. Usually I wake up and have to fend for myself.”
I nod, my fingers still a blur.
“Yeah, I know Daddy. By the way, are you still taking those long walks to appreciate nature? Did you ever get around to signing up for a nature photography class, like you mentioned?” I ask innocently.
My dad flushes slightly and busies himself pouring the steaming coffee into a mug.
“Well, I wasn’t going to do a photography class. I was going to sign up for a nature appreciation course, maybe one where they take you hiking and show you lots of plants and trees.”
I wait, expectantly.
“So did you sign up?” I ask sweetly. “You seemed really interested.”
My dad dilly-dallies a bit.
“Well, no, I haven’t gotten a chance, but I’m going to sooner or later.”
I smile.
“Oh great. I was just wondering because Drake and Derek Stone stopped by the last time you were out on one of your nature-appreciation walks, and they wanted to know when they could come by again. You know, when you’re not around.”
This time, my dad has the grace to look ashamed.
“Did everything go okay, Mercy?” he asks in a low voice while looking down at the ground. “They didn’t hurt you or anything, did they?”
My fingers still, and the silence in the trailer is ominous.
“They didn’t hurt me,” I say softly. “But what were you thinking, Daddy? Why would you pimp me out like that? What, am I worth so little to you?”
My dad stares miserably at the floor, still unable to look me in the eye.
“Look baby, it’s not like that. Well, it is sort of. I started gambling, just for fun at first. I’d wager five dollars, and then ten, but soon, it got out of hand and before I knew it, I owned tens of thousands of dollars to the loan sharks.”
“Derek and Drake told me you owe twenty thousand,” I say in a soft voice coated with steel.
My dad gasps as his face goes white.
“No! I thought it was only fifteen.”
I stare at him.
“They said that you’ve owed this money for a while, and with interest, it grew to twenty.”
Patrick hangs his head, looking morose.
“I guess that could be true,” he mumbles. “But the long and the short of it is that we were in deep ka-ka, sweetheart. You know how loan sharks are. They beat you and break your legs if you don’t pay up, so when the Stone Brothers offered me this out, I took it.”
“And what would that out be?” I ask, although the answer is already clear.
My dad shoots me a pleading look.
“Honey, it’s not as bad as it seems. They said that they’d take over the debt for me. They’d pay off the loan sharks, and instead, I’d owe them the money. But they wanted collateral, and we don’t have anything. Something like this trailer,” he says, rapping his knuckles against the cheap fake-wood walls, “isn’t worth anything to them. So I offered them you,” he says in a small voice. “I hope you don’t mind.”
That makes me see red and I jump up suddenly, shaking with rage.
“How could this happen? How could you trade me to these strange men like I mean nothing to you?”
My dad’s chin trembles and tears form in his eyes.
“Sweetheart, I was hoping that Derek and Drake wouldn’t actually … well, ah, collect. I thought it was just metaphorical, and that you’d be theirs in a figurative sense.”
I stare at him.
“What does that even mean? How can you belong to someone figuratively?”
My dad shrugs helplessly.
“I just figured that the deal wasn’t really real, Mercy. They said they were going to claim you, but I didn’t think they really meant it.”
I stare at him again, my heart beating fast.
“So what did you think was going to happen? That you were going to get off scot free? That Derek and Drake would give you forever to pay back the money because they’re such kindly, compassionate men? Come on, Dad. You’ve known these men for ages and they don’t exactly have a reputation for charity.”
Patrick flushes hard, his hand trembling.
“I know, but Derek and Drake are good men just the same. I knew they’d take care of you.”
I snort a bit.
“Daddy, I just want you to know that everything you thought would happen, actually happened. I am your daughter. I have made an enormous sacrifice for you, and I only agreed to it because Derek and Drake promised me that they’d keep you away from the tables. So long as I’m involved in this dirty deal, there’s no more gambling for you. In fact, let’s make that no more gambling ever. You’re done.”
My dad nods haplessly with tears in his eyes.
“I know Mercy, and you’ve been such a good girl. Never in a million years did I think this would happen. It’s all because Herb Posner got sick, and his son Mickey converted the basement of the Drunken Rabbit into a gambling den, and …”
I cut him off.
“You can’t blame this on Herb’s illness, Daddy. You’re a grown man, and you made this bed. Now you have to lie in it.”
He nods furiously, his eyes still teary.
“Yes, I know, but I’m so glad that you’re in my side Mercy. After all, who do we have but one another? You’re my good girl, and I’m your dear old dad. I know I’ve made a lot of bad decisions recently, but I haven’t touched the cards since you met with Derek and Drake. And I won’t, ever again, just like you’re saying.”
Suddenly, I feel really tired and I sit back down, exhaustion overwhelming my frame. This conversation with my dad has taken every iota of energy out of me, and I still have a hard time believing that Patrick sold me out. Yet, it’s not that difficult to believe because my dad’s made a lot of bad choices in his life, and this is just the latest in his progression of life errors. What can I do? The same thing that I always do: try and roll with it.
But as Patrick takes a sip of his coffee, looking at me with hopeful eyes, I merely start my crochet again. I’m not sure what to say at this point. I should do more screaming and yelling, but the truth is that we only have one another in this world. Sunny’s long gone from the picture, and we have no friends or relatives whom we’d call close. Patrick’s the only person on this Earth who’s been with me through thick and thin, and even though he’s the cause of this latest aggravation, I feel that I have no choice but to forgive him.
“So is everything okay between us?” he asks hopefully, taking another sip of his coffee.
I fix him with a look that says you should know better.
“No, everything is not okay with us, Dad. But I don’t have anywhere to go from here. You’re a grown man, and I can’t let you get your legs broken either. So we’ll muddle through this mess as best we can.”
Instantly, my dad’s face brightens because he knows he’s been given a pass of sorts.
“Okey-dokes,” he says cheerfully. “I gotcha, Mercy. No gambling anymore. No questionable decisions, and I go through you first if I have any issues. Now, what did you have in store for today? Want to do something together?”
I stare at him again.
“No, in fact, I don’t want to do anything. I don’t think I can stand to be in your presence right now, actually,” I add in a low tone.
My dad’s face instantly falls.
“Now don’t be like that,” he cajoles.
I want to scream, So how should I be? But instead, I take a deep breath and look out the window.
“Actually, Derek and Drake are going to take me to shop for a Christmas tree today,” I say in an even tone. “So I’ll be stepping out in about twenty minutes.”
My dad brightens again.
“That’s great! See, I told you they were great guys. They’ll take care of you just fine,” he chortles.
I merely shake my head with resignation again.
“Daddy, don’t ever do this again, okay? Because I know you’re all I have in the world, but I just don’t think I can take more of this.”
“Of course not,” he babbles. “You’re all I have too, Mercy, and I don’t want anything to drive a wedge between us. You’re my baby girl, and I will love you forever.”
I sigh, and just nod while focusing on my crochet once more. After all, I’ll never get through to Patrick. He’s just built the way he is, and trying to reason with him feels like hitting my head against a concrete wall. But at least I have this upcoming Christmas tree selection with Derek and Drake coming up. It’s something to look forward to because despite the sordid deal that my dad brokered, I enjoy spending time with the brothers. They make me feel wanted, desirable, and incredibly sexy, and even if all we’re going to do is to pick out a Christmas tree, I want to do it with them.