Cat felt like a teenager during the last days of the holiday, as if they were sneaking around fearful that their parents, or in this case the children, might discover the truth. Cat had to confess that she rather enjoyed stealing secret kisses with Finn. It felt deliciously illicit but also gave her a chance to get used to the idea of a man in her life. She had time to sit back and get to know him better without the complication of sex. If she had met Finn in her usual social setting, without these pint-sized chaperones in tow, she would have very likely slept with him by now.
On the first night after they’d returned from the beach there was an immediate tacit understanding that anything beyond kissing and talking was out of the question for the moment. After the kids had gone to bed, they sat together on the sofa and talked properly for the first time. There was no skirting round the issues now. Cat knew that she could tell Finn anything and, more importantly, she wanted to.
‘Where were you when you found out about your parents?’ asked Finn. They were lying at opposites ends of the sofa. Every now and then he reached out a hand to stroke her feet. It felt very intimate but also unexpectedly natural.
‘We were staying with my grandparents. Mum and Dad thought I was still too young to look after Andrew on my own and we loved staying with Granny and Gramps,’ said Cat with a fond smile. ‘Granny was an even more elegant version of Mum.’ Finn’s gaze was steady and kind, giving her the courage to continue. ‘Mum and Dad left just after lunch. They were excited to be going away for a night. Mum was wearing this new dress she’d bought – it was peach-coloured silk and she wore a headscarf and shades. She looked – well, she just looked perfect.’
‘I remember my dad standing there, smiling at her as if he couldn’t believe how lucky he was, as if she were the only woman in the world. I can remember Mum cupping Andrew’s face in her hands and kissing him on the forehead and the way she embraced me. She looked me in the eye and said, “When did you get so tall?” Because we were almost the same height by then. Then she pressed her cheek to mine and whispered, “My beautiful girl,” and they were gone in a flurry of excitement.
‘That night, as I pulled my T-shirt over my head, I could smell the citrus scent of her perfume from that embrace. I never washed that T-shirt and I tried for years to find the perfume but I think they stopped making it.’ Cat’s voice trailed off as fresh grief washed over her. ‘It was too soon,’ she gasped. ‘It was too bloody soon. I needed them. Andrew needed them.’ Finn moved to a sitting position, wrapping his arms around her, enveloping her with love. ‘I still need them,’ she sobbed. Finn didn’t speak. There were no words he could offer and Cat was grateful that he didn’t try. It was enough that he was there, holding her, letting her cry.
She felt as if she had nearly twenty years of tears to shed, but what surprised her most was the relief. It was unexpectedly liberating to finally tell someone how she felt but, above all, she was glad it was Finn. She felt at ease with him. Cat recognised this as an entirely new sensation and she had to admit that it was rather wonderful too. Finn held her until she was calmer and then reached behind her head for a tissue. He wiped away her tears and kissed her tenderly.
‘I’m sorry. I must look a state,’ she sniffed.
‘Don’t ever be sorry for how you feel and as for your appearance…’ he paused to push her hair back from her face and plant a kiss on the corner of her mouth ‘…you have never looked more beautiful.’
‘Liar!’ laughed Cat, hitting him on the arm. He grinned. ‘I suppose you think I’m a fool for allowing my grief to hold me back,’ she said, studying his face for a response.
Finn kissed her again. ‘“Fool” is not a word I would use for you, Cat Nightingale.’ He smiled. ‘But I do know that you can’t live in the shadow of the past. And from what you’ve told me about them, that’s the last thing your parents would want for you.’
Cat nodded. ‘I know. It’s strange because I thought I was living in the present, when really I was being held back by ignoring the past. It just became easy to live life that way but now…’
‘Now?’ asked Finn, his eyes wide and hopeful.
Cat leant over to kiss him. ‘Now I am revising my official policy.’
He grinned. ‘I’m very glad to hear it.’
‘And what about you?’ asked Cat. ‘You’ve done a very good job of not letting the past hold you back.’
Finn nodded. ‘At first it made me angry at the world. I used to get into a lot of fights at the home. But Ronnie made me realise what a wasted emotion that is.’
‘She’s a wise one, your sister.’
‘She is,’ admitted Finn. ‘And then I discovered music. You can’t be angry when you’re playing music. Unless you’re into thrash metal.’ Cat laughed, reaching out a hand to stroke his cheek. Finn smiled. ‘I suppose it all clicked into place the day Daisy was born.’ Cat studied his face. It was a picture of warmth and joy as he recalled the memory. ‘Ronnie wanted me to be there but I was under strict instructions to stay away from the business end of things.’ Finn smirked at the memory, making Cat smile.
‘Ronnie was amazing. I mean, she’s pretty tough at the best of times, but it was as if she’d become this other being, sort of primal and fierce and completely determined. She knew exactly what to do and I was proud to be by her side. One minute she was squeezing my hand, eyes fixed forwards, steely and determined and suddenly, Daisy was there. She gave this little squawk like she was announcing her presence and then she seemed to turn her face to her mum and then me. I know babies can’t see at first but it was if she was sizing us up and saying, “You’ll do.” And that was that for me. The most important people in the world were in that room and beyond that, nothing else really mattered.’ Finn turned his gaze on Cat and smiled. ‘Until now.’ Cat stared into his eyes and leaned forward to kiss him. It was a long, lingering kiss, which became increasingly passionate.
Cat could feel Finn’s hands moving down her body and she gently pushed him away. ‘We have to stop. What if the kids wake up?’ Finn was kissing her neck, pretending not to hear as he worked his way along her collarbone. She shivered with delight but gave him another shove. ‘Finn?’ He glanced up at her and moved his body towards her, covering her mouth with his. Cat felt the heat rise up inside her, urgent with longing. It would be so easy to give in. She pushed at his shoulders and held his face in her hands. ‘Stop. We have to stop.’
Finn sighed and moved to a sitting position. ‘You’re right but it’s taking all my powers of restraint.’
Cat sat up and leant forwards, whispering in his ear. ‘You will get your chance soon,’ she purred. He turned and they kissed again, slowly and deeply.
‘I’m taking that kiss as a promise,’ he said as they pulled away.
The next couple of days were exquisite agony. Cat felt a surge of excitement every time they stole a secret kiss or she felt Finn’s touch. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d felt this way or wanted something more. She supposed she’d had similar feelings for Jesse once but in truth, this was very different.
They packed up the cars early on the final day. ‘Why are we in such a hurry?’ complained Ellie as Cat bundled them into the car.
‘Don’t you want to get back to see Daddy?’ asked Cat.
‘Ye-es, but I’m sad to leave our cottage. Can we come here again?’
‘I think we should.’ Cat smiled. ‘Okay, I’m going to check the house one more time and say goodbye to Finn.’ She waved at Daisy who was already sitting in Finn’s car and bounded back into the cottage. He caught her as they met in the hallway and pinned her against the wall with a kiss so intense Cat felt breathless.
‘And that’s my promise of things to come,’ he whispered into her ear. ‘Don’t be late.’
‘I’m never late,’ she murmured, gazing at him. Finn closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers before pulling away. He held onto her hand as he walked away and gave it a chivalrous kiss before letting go.
Cat cursed every traffic jam and red light on her way home, willing the cars to move out of the way. She felt heady with excitement as she pulled up outside her brother’s house.
‘Here we are!’ she cried, leaping from the driver’s seat and running round to let the children out. She threw open the boot and pulled out two bags. Andrew had already spotted the car and was jogging down the steps to meet them.
‘Hello!’ he said, ruffling Charlie’s hair and accepting a leg hug from Ellie. ‘Good journey?’
‘Yes. Great,’ replied Cat, pulling the remaining luggage out of the boot and following Andrew up to the house.
‘Fancy a tea?’ he asked as they entered the hall.
‘No I’m fine, thanks. I should probably get off,’ she said with a brisk smile.
‘Where are you off to in such a hurry?’
‘Nowhere,’ replied Cat a little too quickly.
‘She’s going round to kiss Finn,’ reported Ellie. Cat stared down at her niece, open-mouthed. ‘Daisy and me saw you kissing. It was a bit yucky to be honest.’
Andrew stared at his sister with eyebrows raised. ‘Oh yes?’
Cat gave a small cough. ‘And on that bombshell, I should really get going. Bye, kids. Thanks for a brilliant holiday. See you on Monday.’
‘Bye, Auntie Cat. Love you,’ said Ellie, wrapping her arms around her aunt.
‘Yeah, bye, Cat,’ added Charlie shyly. ‘And thanks.’
‘Bye.’ Cat smiled.
Andrew followed her to the car. ‘So,’ he said with a wry grin. ‘Finn not the know-it-all irritant you dismissed him as?’
‘Okay,’ replied Cat, giving him a playful shove. ‘Don’t gloat. You were right. He’s one of the good guys.’
Andrew wrapped his sister in a tight hug. ‘I’m really happy for you, sis, and thank you. For everything.’
‘Thank you,’ she replied with emphasis.
‘For what?’
Cat pursed her lips. ‘For broadening my horizons.’
He gave a gracious bow before opening the car door and ushering her inside. ‘Right, off you go. Have fun, actually, I don’t want to think about what you’re going to have,’ he said with a comical grimace. ‘I’ll see you on Monday.’
She smiled as she drove off, her mind overflowing with thoughts of Finn. She pulled up outside his flat and practically skipped up the steps.
He answered the intercom with the words ‘Cat Nightingale’. Even the way he said her name made the hairs on her arms stand on end. She flew up the stairs and met him at the door, grabbing his face in her hands as they kissed. He pushed her up against the door to close it and covered her face and neck with kisses. She tilted her head back and wrapped her legs around his body. All their movements were urgent and impatient as he carried her to the bedroom. They were pulling at one another’s clothes, hungry and filled with longing. They laughed when he couldn’t get his T-shirt over his head and he gazed down at her with longing as she peeled off her underwear. He pushed her gently back onto the bed and Cat gasped with pleasure as he kissed his way down her body.
She was in a hurry though and pulled him back on top of her. He understood, staring into her eyes as he moved inside her. The surge of pleasure was exquisite for Cat and she arched her back as ripples of intense delight coursed their way through her body. It felt so wonderful, so inevitable. She held Finn’s face in her hands as they moved together, relishing the connection, deliciously intimate as the rest of the world faded into the background. Afterwards, they lay facing one another. Finn stroked her face and body, admiring every inch of her.
‘You are so beautiful,’ he murmured, kissing the corner of her mouth.
‘You’re not so bad yourself.’ Cat smiled, framing his face in her hands and kissing him on the mouth.
He pulled her closer to him. ‘Just so you know, we’re going to do that again in a minute.’ He grinned.
‘Oh really?’ she said, raising one eyebrow suggestively.
Finn stroked her arm and breast, causing Cat to shiver. ‘Really,’ he replied. ‘In fact, we’re not going to get out bed for the rest of the weekend.’
Cat stretched her arms above her head and closed her eyes as Finn started to kiss his way down her body. ‘Oh dear. What a shame. Never mind,’ she sighed. As they made love again, she felt as if a lost part of her was restored and the strange thing for Cat was that until this moment, she hadn’t even realised that it had been missing.
Finn was true to his word. They hardly left the bed that weekend. On Sunday evening, Cat went back to her flat to drop off her holiday bags and get some clean clothes but she took Finn with her. The activities that had taken place in his bed were transferred to her bed that night. On Monday morning they drove round to collect Daisy on their way to Andrew’s house.
Ronnie came skipping out of the flat with Daisy in tow as they pulled up outside. ‘Hey, Cat,’ she cried. She nudged her brother meaningfully as he climbed out of the passenger seat ready to help Daisy into the car.
‘Hi.’ Cat smiled.
She was amazed when Ronnie danced round to her side of the car, reached in through the open window and hugged her. ‘Just let me know when I need to buy a hat,’ she whispered.
‘Ronnie,’ said Finn, shooting his sister a warning glance.
‘What?’ replied Ronnie, stepping back from Cat with feigned innocence. Cat laughed.
‘See you later, sis,’ said Finn, shaking his head.
‘Bye, Mummy,’ called Daisy from the back seat. Ronnie waved them off, a huge grin on her face.
‘Well we’ve made someone’s day,’ laughed Cat.
Finn put a hand on her leg. ‘You’ve certainly made mine.’
As they arrived at Andrew’s house, Cat noticed that her brother was doing his best not to ask them about their weekend. ‘Good morning!’ he cried a little too loudly. ‘Come in, come in. Hello, Finn, Daisy. Did you enjoy the holiday?’
‘It was great thanks, Andrew,’ replied Finn, shaking his hand in greeting. Daisy disappeared down the corridor in search of her friend.
‘Good, that’s really good,’ said Andrew, turning away quickly and gathering up his work bag and coat. ‘Well I should probably get going. Ellie and Charlie are just finishing breakfast. See you later!’ He hurried out of the door, leaving Finn and Cat standing in the hallway staring at one another.
‘Maybe he doesn’t like the thought of me defiling his sister,’ joked Finn. Cat laughed.
Ellie and Daisy appeared in the hallway. ‘Come on, we’ve got a game we want you to play.’
Cat and Finn grinned at one another before following the girls into the dining room. Charlie smiled up from his toast as they entered. Ellie and Daisy were standing at the far end of the room. Rows and rows of dolls and bears had been carefully placed on either side with a passageway down the middle.
Ellie cleared her throat. ‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today for the wedding of Cat Nightingale and Finn Thomas.’ Cat and Finn laughed.
Ellie frowned at Daisy and gestured for her to move but Daisy was staring back at Cat and Finn, a dreamy smile on her face. ‘Daisy!’ hissed Ellie. ‘You’re the bridesmaid. Go and get the happy couple!’
‘Oh, okay,’ sighed Daisy. She skipped back down the room and stood behind Finn and Cat before giving them a shove. ‘You have to walk to the front,’ she whispered loudly.
Charlie watched amused as Finn and Cat made their way towards Ellie. The small girl pursed her lips seriously. ‘Do you, Cat Nightingale, take this man to be your awful wedded husband?’ She and Daisy dissolved into giggles.
Cat laughed and glanced at Finn. ‘I do,’ she said.
‘And do you, Finn Thomas, take this woman to be your awful wedded wife?’ More giggling.
‘Absolutely,’ replied Finn.
Ellie scowled at him. ‘You have to say “I do”!’
‘Oh. Sorry. I do,’ declared Finn.
‘Yay!’ squealed Daisy.
Ellie silenced her with a fierce stare. She turned back to the soft-toy congregation. ‘By the power of Jedi knights and sweet Jesus, I now pronounce you husband and wife.’
‘You can kiss the bride,’ whispered Daisy, shoving her uncle in the back.
‘That’s my line,’ said Ellie sternly. ‘You may now kiss the bride,’ she cried.
Finn smiled at Cat and planted a chaste kiss on her cheek.
‘Euw,’ said Charlie.
‘It’s so romantic,’ breathed Daisy.
Cat grinned at Finn and shook her head. ‘Kids eh?’
He shrugged. ‘They see things as they’re meant to be.’ He smiled.
Cat felt a little unnerved by the inference but quickly dismissed it with a smile. She was determined to enjoy this new shot at happiness and take life as it came for a change.
The children had two more days of holiday left and their mood started to shift from one of post-holiday euphoria to impending school-day doom. Finn and Cat did their best to make the activities as fun and distracting as possible but soon Tuesday evening was upon them. Finn took Daisy home, kissing Cat goodbye. She had promised to stay at Andrew’s that night and take the children to school the next morning.
‘I’m going to miss you, wife,’ joked Finn as he kissed her goodbye.
Cat smiled but there was something about this comment that made Cat’s shoulders tighten. ‘See you tomorrow,’ she replied.
Cat went upstairs and helped Ellie with her shower whilst Andrew sorted out the uniforms and PE kits. Once Ellie was tucked up, she went say goodnight to Charlie. He was sitting up reading in bed.
‘Are you okay?’ she asked, perching next to him. He gave a small shrugging nod. Cat put a hand on his arm. ‘Do you want me to come and see your teacher tomorrow, like we talked about?’
‘Yes, please,’ said Charlie in a little boy voice that made Cat want to pull him into her arms. She resisted though, knowing he would hate it.
‘Okay. Well, sleep well,’ she said, standing up and reaching the door as Andrew entered.
She went downstairs and began to tidy the kitchen, loading the dishwasher and filling the sink with water.
‘Thanks for doing that,’ said Andrew appearing in the doorway.
‘No worries.’
‘So,’ he ventured.
‘Yes?’
‘Obviously I don’t want the details but I just need to know if you’re happy?’
Cat laughed. ‘I think I am,’ she said. ‘Very happy.’
‘I’m really glad,’ he replied. ‘Oh by the way, Melissa’s coming back on Thursday so you’ll be off the hook and able to return to the heady world of PR soon.’
‘Right,’ said Cat, feeling her insides sink. ‘That’s great.’
‘Well, we’ve kept you from your life for too long. It means you can sort out your job and get back to your old life.’ Andrew put an arm around her shoulder and planted a kiss on the top of her head. ‘For the record though, you’re a Grade A aunt and I couldn’t have managed the past few weeks without you.’
‘I’ve had a great time,’ she admitted. She could feel an ache in her chest at the realisation that she was going to miss the children.
‘See? I knew you’d grow to enjoy it. Maybe you and Finn could produce your own little band of monsters. Right, I need to send a quick e-mail.’ He disappeared out of the kitchen, leaving Cat feeling floored and slightly terrified. The thought of going back to whatever was left of her old life coupled with her family’s insistence that she marry and reproduce with Finn was making her head spin.
Her phone buzzed. She pulled off the washing-up gloves and swiped it into life. She had become lax about checking her phone lately and realised with a sense of dread that there were three missed calls from Jesse. She was about to listen to them when a text message appeared on the screen. It was Finn.
‘I miss you and think I might love you. I hope that doesn’t scare you.’
She felt a surge of adrenaline as she replied as diplomatically as she could. ‘Only a little. And I miss you too.’ Really, she wanted to reply. ‘Whoa there, boy! Slow it down! I need more time!’
She pressed a button to listen to her messages. It unnerved her hearing Jesse’s voice after so long. ‘Hey, Kit Kat. Hope you’re okay. Could you call me, please?’
The other messages were variations on a theme but she could tell that Jesse’s tone was becoming more jumpy. In the third message, he was doing his best to keep his tone light but Cat sensed he was getting desperate.
‘Kit Kat, I’m worried about you. I hope you’re all right. Call me. Please?’ The Cat of old would have phoned him straight away, full of concern, ready to help, but this new version was still licking her wounds after Ava’s revelation. She sent him a text instead.
‘Hi Jesse, I’ve been away. Will call you tomorrow. Cx’
She didn’t sign with her usual ‘KK’ and when he replied. ‘Can’t wait,’ she threw her phone to one side in annoyance and took herself off to bed.