Cleon’s boots echoed against the wooden boards as he stepped onto the Hostettlers’ porch. He dreaded this encounter with Grace even more than seeing his burned-out beehives. It was hard enough to return home without a job; it would be harder yet to live with a wife he didn’t trust.
When he entered the kitchen, Grace’s daughter was sitting at the kitchen table with a tablet and a pencil. She looked up and glared at him as though she was irritated with the interruption.
“Hello, Anna,” he said. “Is your mother to home?”
The child squinted her blue eyes.
Cleon moved over to the table and pulled out the chair beside Anna. “I need to talk to your mamm—I mean, your mother.”
“I know what mamm means, and she’s sleepin’ in her room right now.”
His forehead wrinkled. Why would Grace be asleep in the middle of the day? “Is she sick?”
Anna shrugged.
“Guess I’d better go see.” Cleon’s chair squeaked against the floor when he pushed away from the table. As he made his way up the stairs, he hoped for the right words to say to Grace.
When he reached her bedroom, he noticed that the door was open. He stepped inside and was surprised to see that Grace wasn’t there. For that matter, the house seemed unusually quiet, and he’d seen no one except Anna. Surely the child wouldn’t have been left alone in the house.
He hurried down the stairs and was headed for the kitchen when the back door opened and Martha entered the house.
“Cleon! When did you get back? Does Grace know you’re here?”
He shook his head. “I haven’t seen her yet. I just left my folks’ place after seeing what’s left of my beehives.”
Her forehead wrinkled. “What do you mean?”
“They’ve all been burned.”
“Ach! When did that happen?”
“A few days ago, according to Ivan. All my hives, boxes, and equipment are gone, and that means I’m out of a job.”
“I’m so sorry. I’m sure Grace will be, too, but I know she’ll be glad to see you.”
He nodded toward the kitchen door. “Anna said her mamm had gone to take a nap, but Grace wasn’t upstairs in her room.”
“She’s over at your new house. She and Anna moved in there last week.”
Cleon tipped his head. “But it’s not finished—at least not enough so Grace could move in.”
“Jah, it is. When your brothers weren’t helping with things on your farm, they came over here and helped my daed get it done.” Martha smiled. “They weren’t sure how long you’d be gone, and they thought it would be a nice surprise when you got back.”
“It’s a surprise—that’s for sure.”
“Your being here will be a surprise for my sister, too. Why don’t you go over to the house and say hello?”
He nodded and moved toward the door. “Guess I’d best do that.”
As Grace lay on her bed, tossing, turning, and fighting waves of nausea that had kept her stomach churning for hours, her mind rehashed the past. She was still angry with herself for keeping her secret from her family, but she became more upset whenever she thought about her rumschpringe and how she’d wasted so many days dating Gary Walker. She wished she’d never left home to try out the English way of life. But then, if she hadn’t married Wade, she wouldn’t have Anna now.
She sniffed and swiped at the wetness under her nose. It did no good to dwell on the past. She needed to concentrate on a future with Anna and on the new life she carried in her womb. Last night, she’d told her folks about the baby, and they’d seemed pleased. If only she could be sure Cleon would feel the same way.
The door creaked open, and thinking it must be Anna, she wiped her eyes and sat up. Shock waves spiraled through her when she saw her husband standing inside the door. She scrambled off the bed and rushed toward him but was disappointed when he took a step back.
Grace held her arms rigidly at her sides. “Did you get a lot of honey orders on your trip?”
He nodded. “Trouble is I can’t fill any of ‘em now.”
“Why not?”
“Hives, bees, and all my equipment are gone—burned out—every last one.”
“What? How?” Grace could hardly believe her ears, and she wondered why she hadn’t heard anything about this until now.
“Ivan said it looked like someone had deliberately set the fires.” Cleon huffed. “I sure didn’t need this right now.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Don’t know. Guess I need to find another job, because it will take some time before I can get any new hives going well enough so I’ll have some honey to sell.” Cleon’s eyes looked weary and spent. “Just when I was beginning to think I might be able to make a decent living as a beekeeper.”
Grace took a tentative step toward him. She wanted to offer support and let him know how much she cared but was afraid of his rejection. “I’m sorry, Cleon. Sorry for everything.”
His broad shoulders shrugged. “Jah, well, it’s all part of life, I guess. You think you’ve got things figured out and you’re on the path to happiness. Then everything gets knocked out of kilter.”
Grace was sure Cleon was referring to their messed-up marriage. She moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue and decided a change of subject might help. “Were you surprised to see that the house had been finished in your absence?”
He nodded. “Didn’t expect anyone to do the work for me.”
“My daed and your bruders wanted to surprise you, and they thought it would be good if Anna and I got moved into our new home.”
“It looks nice. They did a fine job.” He glanced around the room. “’Course anything that pertains to building would be done well if your daed had his hand in it.”
“You did well with your part of the building, too.”
“It was all right, I guess.”
A sudden wave of weakness washed over Grace, and she sank to the edge of her bed. “Cleon, I think we should talk about us.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said with a wave of his hand. “You kept the truth hidden from me, and that’s that.”
“It’s not as simple as you make it sound. There’s more I’d like to explain.”
“It’s a little late for explaining, don’t you think?”
Grace sat trying to decide how best to respond. Should she list the reasons she had kept Wade and Anna a secret, beg Cleon to forgive her, or suggest that they try to forget the past and move on from here?
Before she had the chance to respond, Cleon spoke. “While I was on the road, I did a lot of thinking.”
A ray of hope welled in Grace’s soul. Cleon had come home, so that was a good sign. She placed one hand against her stomach, wondering if now was the time to tell him about the child she carried—his child, a product of their love. “Cleon, I—”
“Please, hear me out.”
She lowered her gaze to the floor.
“After thinking things through, I realized that I have an obligation to you—and to Anna.”
“Does that mean—”
“It means I’m back, and I’ll provide for your needs. But I’ll be sleeping in some other room.”
“So our marriage will be in name only? Is that what you’re saying?” Grace almost choked on the words.
He nodded.
“Is there anything I can say or do to make you change your mind?”
“Not unless you can undo the past.”
“You know that’s not possible.” Grace clenched her fists as frustration raged within her like a whirling storm. Cleon had come home, but he hadn’t forgiven her. They would be living in the same house but not sharing the same bedroom. He was the father of the baby she carried, yet she didn’t feel free to tell him. Not now. This wasn’t the right time.
“I’m going out to your daed’s shop,” Cleon said. “I need to speak with him about the possibility of giving me a job.”
Grace nodded. When Cleon left the room, she moved over to the window and pulled the curtain aside. What am I to do, Lord? Cleon and I used to be so close, and now it’s as though we’re strangers. I know I can’t keep the news of my pregnancy from him indefinitely. Sooner or later, he’ll have to know.
She squeezed her eyes shut as tears threatened to escape. When Cleon had walked into the room moments ago, her hopes had soared. Now she was certain that nothing would ever be right in her world again.