13

sampson

Two whole fucking days off. I groan. Right now, I am my own worst enemy. I need a distraction to make it through the weekend – a distraction from Laurel. Now that I have seen her, I remember everything about her all too well. Her body, her scent, the taste of her lips… She’s the one I want to be with, and it takes all of my willpower to keep from crossing that cursed border and make her mine after all.

“We could organize a two-day wrestling match,” I think up on the fly. That will cool me down for a while, but judging by Andreas’ expression, he’s not overly thrilled with the idea. I roll my eyes. Since his affair with the Titaness, his weekends are far from quiet.

“I can’t,” he says.

“Aurore?”

“I missed a date last week, since the Keepers hauled our asses to Olympus to dismantle our band. I haven’t seen her in weeks and she has no idea why I wasn’t there. I hope she’ll show up tomorrow night.”

We turn the corner and cross the street to our favorite hangout. At least I’ll have a few hours of distraction in there.

“Sorry, man,” he says, shooting me a regretful look. “I know weekends are hard on you, especially now that we aren’t allowed to perform anymore. Why don’t you crash on Don’s boat for the weekend? I’ll join you when Aurore doesn’t show up. We can catch some fish, write the ultimate sad rock song, and feel sorry for ourselves.”

“Like trouble shared is trouble halved?”

“Something like that,” he says grinning.

As we stand in front of the bar, I feel a prickling sensation all the way up to my neck. An image of Laurel shoots through my head, but nothing disturbing, not like she is in any kind of trouble. She’s looking good. Very much alive. Hot…

Andreas places his hand on the door handle.

“Wait!” I warn him.

He arches a brow. “For what?”

“She’s inside.”

“Really?” Andreas’ face brightens up. “Rory knows about this place. We had a drink together once. Would it bother you if she was here?”

“Dammit, Andreas! You showed Aurore this place? I was talking about Laurel. I’m 99% positive she’s here.”

“You think Rory took Laurel with her?”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know? With her you never know.”

“Hey, watch it!”

“Yeah, give it to me later! We need to get the hell out of here. I don’t trust myself in the proximity of Laurel.”

“All right, let’s move!”

At that exact moment the door opens and two girls rush outside.

Aurore and Laurel.

Oiphō.

“Andreas…” Aurore gasps.

“Aurore?” Andreas says baffled. “What are you doing here?”

“Why?” She immediately becomes defensive. “Can’t I have a drink here with a friend?”

“That’s not what I was saying.”

I shift my gaze to Laurel and my eyes scan her entire body. Except for the fact that she’s still a little too thin, she’s looking perfectly healthy. Her hair, up in a ponytail, is hanging over her shoulder and shining brightly like it always does. I smell jasmine. The corner of my mouth goes up. She still uses the same brand of shampoo and it brings back loads of memories. Memories I’d rather forget.

She turns her head and catches me staring. Our eyes lock. Seal. I almost gasp for air. Just like the last time, her eyes sparkle with life, brighter than the bluest waters. They have a shade that freaks me out. A shade that makes me want to possess her – crave things I can never have.

“Hello, Sam,” she says, her tone of voice firm, confident. It snaps me out of my agonizing thoughts.

“Laurel.” I have no idea how to start a conversation. Whatever I say or ask, she’ll see right through me. It’s time to split.

“We were just leaving,” I hear Aurore say. Seems like a perfect plan to me.

“Maybe you have time for a drink with us?”

What the fuck? I can’t believe what I am hearing.

Andreas just shrugs his shoulders. One drink, his lips mimic.

“I’ll leave it up to Laurel,” Aurore says, looking at her friend.

We all stare at Laurel. I can tell she is in two minds. With my own mind, I try to influence her to leave – but unfortunately, I don’t have that kind of power.

“Yeah, we have time for a drink,” she says resolutely.

“Great.” Andreas opens the door to let the girls in. I fall into step, and shoot him a scornful look as I walk past him.

“You can thank me later,” he says with a toothy smile.

“Yeah, don’t count on it,” I hiss. “I’ll kill you for this, you selfish bastard.”

I let out a sigh of relief when I notice Sara and Jesper sitting at a table. “See you later, Andreas,” I say as I go to join my classmates.

“Don’t be a jerk, Sampson,” Andreas whispers after me.

“Hey, Sam,” Sara calls, “take a seat.”

That was the plan. Her face beams with excitement as I take the seat next to her. “Hey, Sara. Jesper. Everything okay?”

“Typical Andreas,” Jesper says, his voice full of envy. “Picking up not one, but two good-looking women and then keeping them all to himself. Can’t blame him, they’re smoking hot. Damn, that brunette… You know her?”

I glance at Andreas and the girls, who are hitting the stairs to go to another level. I know I am behaving like a real jerk, but I have no other choice. What am I supposed to talk about with Laurel with Andreas and Aurore sitting there lusting after each other? I can’t do casual with her.

“Yeah, we used to go to the same school.” I shift my gaze back to Sara. “You did good today in the basement. Straight incision, not too deep… I believe you have a steady hand.”

Sara turns red in a matter of seconds, which is usually the case any time I say something to her. “Thanks, Sam. I felt nauseous, though. That smell of preservatives… Yuck.”

I smile and she turns even redder. “At least you didn’t faint and you didn’t ruin any muscle like so many others.”

“Is he shaking the sheets with her?” Jesper interjects.

“Excuse me?”

“Andreas… Is he bonking blue eyes?”

I can feel my face tense up. “No.”

Jesper clears his throat. “Excellent. Then I think it’s time for introductions.”

I almost lose my cool, but force myself to stay calm. I don’t want him anywhere near Laurel. “No, it’s not,” I say, sending him a look that is just piercing enough to keep him pinned to his seat.

For a moment he’s confused, but then he holds up his hand. “Ah, I see, you’re sleeping with her. Or she’s your sister. Sorry, man. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

I get up from my seat. Fuck casual. “I’ll see you guys on Monday.”

Before I realize what I’m doing, I’m halfway up the stairs.

I find the three of them hanging out at the bar and I join them. The bartender asks me what I would like to drink.

“A coffee, please.” I place my hands on my hips, and I smile briefly at Laurel. I pick up her pulse, which is going up. “You’re looking good.”

“Well, how can I not look good? The last time you saw me I was dying,” she says dryly.

I nod. “Yeah, you were. How are you feeling?”

The picture of Laurel I have in my mind doesn’t come close to the real thing. I take her in all the way, absorb her, so I’ll never forget the way she looks right now. It will be my last image of her.

“I’m feeling good, actually. Thanks to you, and to Sander’s weightlifting program,” she says, winking. There’s something about her I can’t explain. Something different. She comes across… mature. Like I sent away a girl and am now confronted with a woman.

I take my coffee from the bar. “You’re working out?”

“Yeah, I need to. I lost a lot of strength. But having a personal trainer who knows his way around a gym is a big incentive to working out.”

A wave of annoyance rolls through my body. I don’t know why it bothers me that Sander is acting as her personal trainer. I should be happy that he’s helping her get her strength back after what she has endured. “How’s school?” I try my best to keep the conversation light and casual, but it feels like I am doing a terrible job. Too forced.

Laurel smiles. A gorgeous smile that make me weak at the knees.

“I quit school. I work in a professional kitchen now, as an assistant cook. And I take culinary classes.”

“Really?” I ask incredulously. “What does your father have to say about that?” I immediately sense she doesn’t appreciate my question.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a grown woman, Sam. I am the one in charge of my decisions these days. Not Olympians, not Titans, not even my father. I listen to my heart now; it’s the only way to know that I can trust my own decisions. And cooking feels good, so I cook. To answer your question: Martin doesn’t know yet. He and Mia are coming over Monday. I’m sure he won’t be overly excited.”

I clear my throat. “Maybe he’ll be proud of the fact that you follow in his footsteps.”

“That would be great, but it doesn’t matter if he isn’t. I am happy with my job, making my own money.”

She takes a sip of her drink and I smile. Yeah, she has definitely grown up.

“There’s a couch free,” Andreas says. “Let’s sit there.”

“You want to sit?” I ask Laurel.

She shakes her head. “Let’s give them some privacy.”

I stare after Andreas and Aurore. “This doesn’t bother you?”

She looks baffled. “Bother me? They’re in love. I think it’s great that they won’t let some ancient fight get in the way. I hope they elope.”

I laugh. “Some ancient fight. What, are you an expert on our history now?”

“I talk to people. Titans. But I am sure you’re not interested in what they have to say.”

“What makes you say that,” I mumble, lifting my coffee cup.

Laurel pushes a strand of hair behind her ear and I notice the big rock on her index finger. I have never seen jewelry on her. It looks kind of… sexy. My eyes wander off to her bare shoulder. The strap of her dress has slid down her shoulder. I lower my gaze and I am beginning to feel painfully uncomfortable in my own body. I shift my weight.

“I never thought we would be talking like this. It’s nice. How are you doing?”

I almost choke on my coffee. “Me?”

“Yeah, you, and Storm. I would like to know, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“No, I… I just… Storm’s fine.”

“I’m glad he is.” She pushes back the strap. “And how about making music? The band?”

“We are taking a break with the band. We’re all busy, studying. And our freedom has been scaled down.”

“Why?”

I shrug my shoulders. “We all have to grow up, I guess. There are more serious matters at hand.”

“Like hunting me down,” she says matter-of-factly, her throaty voice so ridiculously low that it arouses me on the spot.

“Like hunting you down,” I admit with a hoarse voice.

We stare at each other intensely. I really need to finish this coffee. Even this fucking elevator music is making my skin crawl. All of a sudden, she places her hand on my arm and it sets off an emotional explosion. If she already noticed, she doesn’t show it.

“Sam, I need to ask you something, and I need you to promise me to give me an honest answer.”

I realize she is showing her true colors. Laurel is here for a reason. I place the coffee cup back on the plate. “I don’t work like that, Laurel.”

“You can’t promise to be honest with me?”

“Ask your question, Laurel. I can’t promise you an answer.”

She sets her drink on the bar, her expression is growing serious. “I’ll take my chances. It’s about the night you came for me. The night you saved me.”

I shove my hands into my pockets. “What about it?”

“I, uh, I knew you were there.”

I shrug a shoulder. “And?”

“I heard what you said to me. About what they had done to me.”

I swallow. “So?”

Her blue eyes pierce me clear through. “Did you kiss me, Sam?”

I stare at her for a long time, trying to process what she just said. She has got to be joking. She was so far gone, there’s no way she could have heard. “I healed you, but I don’t have to explain my actions to you,” I say in harsh voice. “Was that all? Is that what you and Rory came here for? To put me on the spot?”

“Did you have your feelings back, Sam? Even for just that night?”

I lick my bottom lip. “I think we’re done talking.” I grab some money from my pocket and place it on the bar. “Tell Andreas I’ll be waiting for him downstairs.” I turn on my heel and quickly go down the stairs.

I walk straight to the bar and gesture to the bartender. “Whiskey. Neat.” I place the money on the table, pick up the glass, and look for a quiet spot.

I find a small bench in a dark corner and sit down, my hand wrapped around the glass. I swirl the amber golden liquid. It smells fruity. I think of what Bastian has told me about alcohol. Great stuff, numbs the emotional pain. I remember the countless times he has crashed on my couch, intoxicated, passed out, and with a hangover that lasted for days. I don’t even want to know what his intestines look like. Besides the fact that our anatomy can’t handle booze, I never needed it, but now seems a fucking good time to try – to numb my brain. To become totally numb to the ache I feel in my chest. I look up when I sense someone watching me.

“Are you planning on drinking that?” she demands with a slight, sharp edge to her voice.

“Isn’t that obvious?” I reply shortly. “Now leave me alone. We have nothing left to say to each other.”

“You’re wrong. I have plenty left to say to you.” She pulls one of the poufs closer to the couch and sits next to me. “Don’t do this,” she says softly. “Remember what it did to Bastian, how you always had to save him, and this is not just a beer, or even a glass of wine, this is hard liquor. Who will save you, Sam, when you drink this?”

The pain in my chest grows heavier as I listen to her sweet words – words that nearly undo me, because they let me know that after everything that has transpired, she still cares for me, even if I don’t deserve that. I want this ache so much to be over with. I just can’t handle being with her in one room. I want her, but I’ll never have her.

“Please go away, Laurel,” I say quietly as I keep staring into my glass, dying to take a sip. “I don’t need your protection.”

“When you were my boyfriend, I mean, when we were… together,” she goes on, ignoring my plea, “I was so proud of you because you didn’t drink. You are strong, Sam. Whatever is bothering you, you don’t need alcohol to solve it.”

She pries away the tumbler, pushing off my fingers.

“If you drink this, you’ll hurt yourself,” she whispers. “You’ll be immortal some day, Sam. You have a big future ahead of you, don’t ruin it.”

“Damn you, Laurel!” I curse, too weak to push her away. She’s sitting too damn close.

“I know you kissed me. I don’t know why you did it, maybe you weren’t aware of it, and I don’t care. You came for me when I was sick. Deep down you still care for me – it’s what you told me when we said goodbye– and that’s enough.” Her fingers touch my face – a tender caress that makes my body vibrate with heat. “I’ll always care for you, Sam. I don’t want to see you hurting yourself.”

I stare down at her in utter silence, blinking. It’s the only movement I am capable of. She bends forward and tilts her head, kisses me softly. I hold still, refusing to melt into the kiss.

She opens her mouth and brushes her lips softly across mine. I close my eyes, letting down my guard. When she runs her tongue over my still closed lips, I can’t fight her anymore. With a soft moan, I succumb and take her mouth.

I lower my head and grip her tightly, taking over the kiss, dominate it. Taking control of her mouth, tasting her deeply like a starving man. You are going to hurt her. Again. I crave her taste. If I can’t possess her, then at least I can possess her mouth for as long as it lasts. When our tongues clash we moan into each other. Laurels fingers are tangled up in my hair, and her sweet taste and the scent of jasmine are clouding my mind.

In one smooth motion, I haul her onto my lap. My hand moves up her calf as my other hand slides over her shoulder and then around her neck, pulling her closer.

Laurel shudders violently and then breaks off the kiss. “Sam?”

Hearing her say my name is like a wake-up call. This is wrong. What I am doing is wrong. I run my hand through my hair. “I’m sorry… I…” I gently ease her back onto the pouf.

“No, don’t be. It’s just…” She pierces her eyes into mine. “Is this you, Sam? The real you?”

“No, don’t. Not again, Laurel.” I wipe my mouth dry with the back of my hand as I get up from the couch. “I have to go.”

“Tell me the truth, Sam. Don’t be a coward by taking off. I can handle it if nothing has changed, but for sure, this didn’t feel like it.”

I stare down at her. She’s looking up. Her eyes are still dazed from our kiss, but I can already see the hurt flicker. I put it there. And I hope to hell that she can handle what I’m about to say. It’s the only way to keep us both safe. I can’t confide in her, because there is no telling what she’ll do, since I lack the ability to tell the future. Maybe she would want to move back to Sooke. Maybe we would try again to build some sort of relationship. Adrian would go after her, impregnate her, that’s for sure. And I would be standing on the sidelines, observing, letting it all happen, because the Keepers would find a way to cripple me. I just can’t let my feelings get in the way – no matter how much it will hurt us both.

“The truth, Laurel? I’ll give you the truth. This was just a kiss. It didn’t mean anything. It means that I am attracted to you, yeah, that has never changed.”

“That kiss was anything but meaningless. You can’t fool me, Sam.”

“Apparently I can. It didn’t mean anything to me. You don’t mean anything to me – not emotionally. ”

I pick up the tumbler, and throw the liquid into a plant standing nearby. I slam the empty glass on the table with a loud bang. “We are not boyfriend and girlfriend, okay?”

She listens to me with calm dignity. I hid the truth from her, I almost never gave straight answers to her questions, but the one thing I have never done to her is lie. And now I have crossed that line, because that kiss meant everything to me. And even if I tell myself it’s for the best, it’s not enough this time. I lied to her and I can never make that undone.

I rub my chest, the spot where it hurts the most. “I saved you from blood-poisoning, Laurel. That’s it. I don’t have feelings for you anymore.”

I walk to the exit and open the door. By the time I get outside, I feel as if my heart has been ripped out of my chest.