Chapter Seven
Richard bought a case each of Pinot Grigio wine, ginger ale, Coca-Cola, Pilsner beer, and other party essentials and stored it all in the trunk of Dan’s taxi. He had developed a fondness for Dan, the cabbie who had brought him to Pike Hill, and used his services whenever possible. Next, he tackled Marilyn’s grocery list and, by three o’clock in the afternoon, had finished shopping. Dan helped him carry the grocery bags into the house, and Marilyn rewarded the cabbie with a bag of warm buttermilk biscuits. Richard waited in the lounge for Jolene and was relieved when she arrived before five-thirty.
“How do we do these balloons?” he asked her. She showed him, but suggested that they wait until Saturday morning to decorate. She assured him that it wouldn’t take long and suggested that they begin immediately after breakfast.
“Do you like what I bought?”
“Absolutely, and especially the colors. Silver and blue is a dignified combination that suits an older person.”
“I hope you don’t mind that I added candles for the tables.”
“I’m glad you did. I hadn’t remembered, and Marilyn’s making him a chocolate cake. I hope it all goes well.” It amazed him that he had more anxiety about Judd’s party than about some of the big and important international conferences over which he had presided.
“It will be very special,” she said, and added with an expression of awe, “Imagine doing all this for somebody you didn’t know existed eight months ago. Until I came here, I wouldn’t have believed anybody would do such a thing. I’ll be down at seven in the morning, and we can start on the balloons after breakfast.”
“Thanks. I will definitely need your help.” He mused over her words, marveling at their similarities to each other. Because of the treatment she’d received from her mother and the influence of her mother’s attitudes, she had had to learn late in life to care for others just as he had. He wasn’t very religious, but he suspected that Providence had a hand in bringing both of them to Thank the Lord Boarding House.
By noon Saturday, Jolene, Fannie and he had made two dozen clusters of balloons that stood like trees of varying heights, suspended by silver and blue ribbons from the silver-colored sandbags that anchored them.
Fannie stored them in the pantry. “We’ll decorate after lunch,” she told them. “I’m so excited. Richard, the Lord is definitely going to bless you and Jolene for making the old man feel so special.”
Richard cocked an eyebrow. “Fannie, I never think of Judd as an old man. He beats me at cards just about every evening and swims along with me at least twice a week.”
“Yep,” she said. “He’s blessed, all right.”
Jolene put on a yellow crêpe sheath that ended in a flounce at the knee and the first three-inch heeled patent leather shoes she had ever worn, combed down her hair, and ran downstairs to the dining room. She found Judd in conversation with Joe Tucker and joined them.
“You sure do look pretty in this dress, Jolene,” Joe told her. “If I was twenty years younger, I’d stake a claim. Judd looks pretty snappy in his suit, too.” The more she saw of Joe, the more she liked him as a sturdy, decent and self-respecting man, and she was grateful that in her foolish days, she had not tried any antics with him.
“I’m the guest of honor,” Judd said to them with a wink, “so I didn’t have the nerve to come in here looking like a box-car bum. I never been so touched in m’ life.”
Across the room, Richard stood in a corner near the pantry talking with two men who had their backs to Jolene. Rodger circulated among the boarders with a tray containing glasses of wine, soft drinks, beer, and hot hors d’oeuvres. The beer, which Fannie did not ordinarily permit in the house, was her concession to the occasion.
“This is the first party I ever attended,” Jolene said, mostly to herself. “Lord, I sure have missed a lot.”
“Supper’s ready,” Fannie said. “Everybody have a seat. My brother, Reverend Coles, is with us, and he’ll say the grace.”
The minister turned around and, his gaze fell on her, so she rushed over to him, forgetting her behavior during his previous visit. But as she extended her hand to greet Philip Coles, a familiar voice reached her ears.
“Hello, Jolene.”
She looked into the face of Gregory Hicks, and nearly lost her balance. “Hello, Gregory. How are you?”
“I’m surprised that you remember me.”
She couldn’t believe he’d said that. “Of course I remember you.”
Both of his eyebrows shot up, and she said, “I’ve wanted to talk with you, but I haven’t been able to get up the courage. A lot of things have happened to me since I last saw you, and I understand myself and people much better than I did.”
“Why are you telling me this?” he asked, obviously unmoved.
“Because I’m sorry for the way I behaved. I had a lot to learn, and I still do. I’d give anything if I could change your opinion of me, but I know I can’t . . . See you.” Without waiting for his reaction, she left him and walked across the lounge to the dining room to her usual place. Then she realized she hadn’t said one word to Philip Coles.
She was about to take her usual seat when her gaze captured the table that Fannie had added to accommodate Philip and Gregory and found them both looking at her. She waved at Philip and relaxed when he acknowledged it with a smile.
After Philip said grace, Richard stood and raised his glass of wine. “Tonight, we’re celebrating Judd Walker’s eighty-fifth birthday. Judd has done what my father tried but didn’t succeed in doing.” He paused, grinned, and said, “You don’t have to know what that is,” and was rewarded with a ripple of laughter.
“I see Rodger standing at the kitchen door anxious to begin serving the meal, so I won’t test your patience or his. When I decided to give Judd a party, I didn’t have a clue as to what was involved. Jolene came to my rescue. The decorations are her idea and choice, and she and Fannie helped me set them up. I gave Marilyn a menu and she sent me on a shopping trip. All in all, I’ve never enjoyed anything as much as I’ve enjoyed this. Judd, my friend, you deserve the best.”
Judd stood. “I want to thank m’ family for making this one of the happiest days of m’life. It’s the first birthday party I ever had, and I’m loving it. I thank m’friend Richard for brightening m’ life. Let’s eat.”
When Rodger set bowls of oyster chowder before them, Joe Tucker rubbed his hands together as if he were washing them. “Jolene, my friend, I wouldn’t have missed this for the world. We all know Richard is ‘class,’ but you surprised me. The decorations are great. We could be in a five-star hotel. You have changed a lot, right in front of our eyes.”
“I’m learning, Joe. This is the first party I’ve ever been to.”
“What?”
“I don’t want to spoil the party for you. Sometime, if you’re interested, I’ll tell you what it’s like to be your mother’s slave.”
His sharp whistle split the air, and everyone in the dining room looked their way. His silence told her that she had either shocked or scandalized him. After a few minutes, he said, “That fellow over there with Richard is looking at you. You know him?”
“He’s Gregory Hicks, and he goes to Fannie’s church. I went out with him a few times, but I messed up. Joe, I didn’t know anything about men or anything else when I came here. He’s a very nice man.” She marveled at her ability to discuss personal things with a man she knew only as her seatmate at supper. I have come a long way, she said to herself.
“He likes you,” Joe said.
“Maybe, but he won’t do anything about it. Like I said, I ruined things with him.”
The seven course meal ended with crème Courvoisier and espresso coffee, which Marilyn herself served, to a round of applause.
Joe turned in his chair and faced Jolene fully. “You say you don’t know much about men. Well, I guess you don’t. I don’t know what you did to him, but that man over there is interested in more than the dress you got on.”
Jolene smiled and patted Joe’s arm. “Thanks. You’ve done wonders for my ego tonight, Joe.” When she saw Fannie introduce Francine to Gregory, she knew that Gregory still hadn’t settled on a girl. He’ll have to come to me; I’ve made a dunce of myself over a man for the last time.
She headed toward Judd to congratulate him but, seeing the crowd around him, gave up the idea. Feeling a tap on her arm, she turned to face Philip Coles. “I’ve been trying to get a moment to speak with you. You’re finally blooming,” he said, “and it looks as if you have a talent for decorating. My, my. You look wonderful, too. I can’t tell you how proud of you I am.”
In that moment of pride, she could feel her shoulders go back, for only Philip Coles knew what she’d overcome, indeed what she was still climbing over. “You think I’ll make it?”
He nodded vigorously. “Oh, yes. Indeed, I don’t see how you can fail. The difference since I was last here is phenomenal.”
“Well, sir, there’s been a lot of pain to go with it. Mama didn’t give me one positive thing to help me; I’m finding that practically everything she crammed into my head about people was untrue. And especially about men. Why did she hate men so much? Do you know she refused even to tell me who my father is? And that was the least she owed me.”
Immediately, she wished she hadn’t spoken so candidly, for the blood heated his face and neck, and he stammered his sympathy. “What’s d-d-done is done, Jolene. I’m glad you’ve found a home here.”
He seemed anxious to leave her, so she did her best to put him at ease. “I’m glad you’re here for the party, Reverend Coles. Having an outside guest makes it special.” Her gaze caught Judd, Gregory, and Richard looking at her and Philip Coles, and she hoped they didn’t think she was involved with the minister in any way.
To make sure that they didn’t, she excused herself, walked over to Judd and hugged him. “Happy birthday, Judd. Now you know who’s special around here.”
“I always knowed it. I’m twenty years older than Louvenia over there, and the next most important person is the cook.”
“For heaven’s sake, don’t let Marilyn know you’re more special here than she is; she might downgrade the meals,” Richard said.
“Humph,” Judd snorted. “No way. She’s too vain.”
“Would you like to dance?” Gregory asked Jolene. “That music is too good to waste.”
“I never learned how,” she said, unwilling to make an excuse or to give him the impression that she didn’t want to dance with him. “I’m just learning how to walk in high heels.” She had intended to draw a laugh, but the solemn faces before her were proof that they knew she told the truth and empathized with her.
Evidently not to be outdone, Gregory said, “Even if you knew how, I doubt you’d be able to dance in those shoes. I don’t see how women walk in them. Let’s find a glass of wine.”
“Something strange going on here,” Judd said to Richard when they were alone, “and I’m not about to say what I’m thinking.”
“Yeah. I was thinking something like that a minute ago, and I’ve thought it before.” He also feared what he’d start if he articulated his thoughts. “The women are all looking great for you tonight, Judd,” he said, changing the subject. “Strut your stuff, man.”
“I got a lot to thank you for, Richard.” He fingered the few stubs of beard that had begun to emerge on his chin. “Say, I haven’t seen Francine anywhere around here for the last half hour.”
“Maybe she went to her room.”
“It ain’t like her to hide. The gal loves being around people,” Judd said. “Excuse me.” He went to the house telephone, which was, in effect, an intercom, and dialed the number for Francine’s room. No answer. “Where could she be at nine o’clock Saturday night?” he asked Richard minutes later.
“Maybe she has a date,” Richard said, although he didn’t believe it. It crossed his thoughts that Francine may have received a tip as to the whereabouts of Ronald Barnes, and he worked hard at slowing down his suddenly accelerated breathing.
“I wouldn’t worry too much, Richard. Francine strikes me as a woman more than able to look after herself.”
So he hadn’t managed to hide his anxiety from the shrewd old man. “She’ll miss the finale,” Richard said, pretending not to have caught the implications of Judd’s words. He looked around at his fellow boarders, who talked among themselves, and realized that Jolene and Francine were the only ones other than Judd who had spoken to him to thank him for the party.
A few minutes later, Fannie dimmed the lights, Marilyn and Rodger entered the room with a big chocolate cake lit with eighty-five candles, and Rodger lent his baritone voice to the words and tune of “Happy Birthday to You.” As Judd cut the cake, Richard was certain that he saw Francine’s red dress flash up the stairs, and he knew he’d been right when she returned to the party without the gray fishnet stockings she’d worn earlier and which he had admired on her long shapely legs.
“Just in time for cake,” he said when she walked up to him wearing an expression of innocence. But he wasn’t fooled, for the heaving of her chest meant either excitement or that she had been running. He suspected both.
“Thanks. I love chocolate.”
He maneuvered her into a corner. “Any luck?”
She shook her head. “He’s slick as a fish right out of water, but I’ll get him.”
“What happened to those great stockings you were wearing earlier? I liked them.”
Her left eyebrow shot up. “You don’t think I’d risk snagging my fifteen-dollar stockings, do you? It only took me a second to get them off.”
He laughed, as much from relief and from the humor of a police officer removing her stockings before going after a criminal. “You’re a perfect example of a feminine woman doing a man’s job and up to the task.”
“You definitely know how to make a woman feel good.”
“I can do a hell of a lot better than that.” Seeing that they were alone, he leaned down and kissed the side of her mouth. “But I warn you that if you give me a chance to show you, you won’t soon forget it. I’m a thorough man, and nothing pleases me more than to satisfy a woman.” Her lower lip dropped, her eyes blinked rapidly, and she backed away. He hadn’t meant to discombobulate her; he’d looked down at the alluring, feminine bundle so close to him and said exactly what was on his mind. He was in no mood to apologize.
She stared up at him, her face flushed. “How did you get from stockings to sex? I remember your telling me that you aren’t ready for a relationship, so why are you—”
He interrupted her. “You might say my self-control slipped a fraction. Let’s go over there and get some ice cream and cake.”
They walked to the dining room table where Marilyn held court, savoring the plaudits of the boarders who surrounded her, giving her the admiration she craved.
“You outdid yourself tonight, Marilyn,” Richard said. “My hat’s off to you.”
Her half smile and lowered head surprised him. He wouldn’t have thought her capable of diffidence. “I mean it,” he added. “The Waldorf Astoria couldn’t have produced better fare than you created. You’re a master chef.”
“You don’t know what that means to me coming from you, Richard. I did my level best, and I’m so glad you’re pleased.”
He resisted patting her on the shoulder, accepted the homemade ice cream, the best he’d ever had, and a slice of chocolate cake, and looked at Francine. “You can eat all that without worrying about gaining weight?”
“No, but opportunity doesn’t knock often, and this stuff is to die for. I’ll run an extra time around the block. You don’t seem worried about inflating your flat middle.”
“If anybody had told me a year ago that I’d have this conversation with a woman, I wouldn’t have believed it. I never got on a really personal level with women.” He paused as the knowledge struck him. “Not even with—”
“And yet, you loved her. I don’t understand that, and I think you’re in for a stunning surprise, Richard.”
“What do you mean?”
“When you finally fall in love, you will know that you have never truly loved before. Loves comes with intimacy. True intimacy.”
“If it’s more devastating than what I’ve already experienced, I want no part of it.”
Her wink took him back a bit. “Then resist kissing the side of my mouth. I might take a shine to you and, trust me, friend, I go after what I want.”
He straightened up from his slouch against the wall and stared down at her. “You and I have the same attitude toward challenges, so let’s pretend this conversation never took place. I don’t gamble and I don’t accept dares. Before I issue a challenge, I know how I am going to deal with the response. I value your friendship, Francine. Let’s stop this one-upmanship.”
“You’re right, Richard. It’s a substitute for a deeper intimacy, and whether we know it or not, we’re fanning the fire.”
He couldn’t help grinning. “Oh, I know that, but the idea of treating you like a baby sister boggles my mind.” When he looked around, he saw Gregory and Jolene seemingly in deep conversation in the hallway beside the stairs. “How do those two strike you?” He nodded in the other couple’s direction.
“I think they’re picking up where they left off last winter. He must be the one she told me about. Claimed she ruined what could have been a good relationship.”
Francine couldn’t have been closer to the truth. “Could we spend some time together tomorrow afternoon?” Gregory was asking Jolene about that time. “I’ve never been satisfied with the way we split up. You should have been more considerate, and I should have refused to do anything I didn’t want to do. Why did you stand me up?”
“You were the first man I ever went anywhere with, and I didn’t have the slightest notion how to treat a man. I was loaded down with my mother’s prejudices.”
“I understand that. Can we be together tomorrow afternoon after church?”
She had promised herself that she would visit Harper, and she didn’t intend to change her plan; he was in the hospital because of her self-centeredness. “Maybe. I have to visit a friend at the hospital first.”
“A man or a woman?”
“A man, but I won’t stay more than ten or fifteen minutes, if that long. He may not want to see me.” When Gregory raised an eyebrow, she added, “You’re not the only person I’ve mistreated.”
“May I drive you to the hospital and wait while you visit your friend?”
“Uh . . . all right. I’d like that.”
Jolene walked into Harper’s hospital room at three-fifteen Sunday afternoon carrying a basket of grapes, strawberries, apples, dates, and tangerines, fruits she knew the hospital wouldn’t serve. He sat beside the window in a wheelchair, looking out at the gardens now bare of flowers and foliage.
“Hello, Harper.” He swung the wheelchair around with such energy that she knew he recognized her voice.
“To what do I owe this . . . this visit?”
She put the basket of fruit on the table beside his bed and walked over to him. “Regardless of what you think of me, I’m not all bad, Harper.” When he winced, she added quickly, “Please give me ten minutes. That’s all I’m asking. And listen carefully to every word I say. It won’t undo a thing, but you will understand.” He motioned toward the only chair in the room. She closed his door and sat down. Ten minutes later, he knew the story of her life up to that minute with nothing significant omitted. He gazed out of the window, motionless as if hypnotized.
“Why couldn’t you have told me what your life was like instead of pretending to be sophisticated? Woman, I fell in love with you, and you hurt me. You will never know how I hurt. I made love with you to get even, but you were so loving and so giving. Not even a prostitute gives the way you did. After that, I never wanted to see you again. I was afraid I might make a complete fool of myself over you. I don’t remember taking Beaver Road on the drive home. I’m told they had to cut through the wreckage of my car in order to get me out of it.”
“I won’t say that I’m sorry, because you know I am. What does the doctor say?”
“That I’ll be as good as ever, but the therapy is pure hell. Still, I’m blessed to be alive.” He was silent for a moment, and she stood to leave. “Thank you for coming and for bringing the fruit. You think you and Gregory will get back together?”
“I really don’t know whether he can accept the truth when I finally tell him all that I just told you, including about you.”
“You don’t have to tell him all that, just the essence of it. Trust me, he won’t want to know.” She offered to shake hands, but he reached up for a hug. She made it brief, for she no longer teased or played with men.
“I’ll be back,” she said. “Thanks for being so kind.”
When she got back to Gregory’s car, he reached across the passenger’s seat and opened the door for her, locked her seatbelt and started moving away from the curb. “What would you like to do?”
“I’m leaving that up to you,” she said. “Maybe I’ll get an understanding of what you like. Before, we only did what I suggested.”
“How was the visit?”
“Better than I had hoped for. At least we can be friends.”
“You feel like explaining that?”
“I will, but I’m going to start at the beginning and tell you everything about myself. He, that is, the friend I visited today, said I shouldn’t do that, but I want a clean slate, and if you can’t handle it, I’ll understand. To begin with, my mother hated men, and she did everything she could to make me as wretched a woman as she was.”
“You told me some of that.”
“Right, but a lot has happened since then, and I’m not going to spare myself. Let’s go some place that’s not public.”
“The only place I can think of that’s not public is my apartment. You want to go there?”
“Definitely not. How about a place where we can just drink coffee?”
He stopped at a small roadside coffee house near Ocean Pines. “I hope this is all right.”
Her hands shook so badly that she put them in her lap, and when she began to talk, the chattering of her teeth made her words barely understandable.
“If this makes you so nervous, let’s forget it, Jolene.”
“No. I’ve thought of you every day for weeks, and I want a chance with you. But I want it honestly, because you know who I am and still want me.”
He ordered coffee for them, and while she spoke, beginning with her mother’s funeral—almost in whispers at first—she sipped her coffee cold without realizing she tasted it. By the time she finished the story of her life, tears streamed down her face, though she was unaware of that until Gregory’s handkerchief wiped them away.
“You don’t have to comment, Gregory. I’ll know how you feel about this by the way you act.”
“How do you feel about Harper Masterson?”
“Sympathy, I think. I know I’m grateful to him that because of what he suffered, I finally took a good look at myself, and I hated what I saw. I know I’m responsible for his accident, and that is very difficult to live with.”
“But you don’t love him.”
“That’s the awful part, Gregory; I never once thought I did.”
“If I had known you were so naïve, not the sophisticate you made yourself out to be, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Come on. I want to show you something.” He glanced down at her feet. “Thank goodness you’re wearing comfortable shoes. I don’t see how anyone could walk in those things you had on last night.”
She wanted to scream with laughter, to jump and shout. So far, he hadn’t said one censorial word about the awful things she’d told him. She knew he might later, but at least he planned to let them enjoy the afternoon. “Where is this place?” she asked him as he drove down to the water’s edge on the outskirts of Ocean Pines.
He parked, went around and opened her door. Pointing to a low, one-story building, he said, “That used to be a marina, but it hasn’t been used as one for a couple of years. I bought it three months ago, and I’ve started my business making sails for small ships. I also mend them, and so far, most of my business is in mending, but I recently got a nice order to make sails for a racing boat.”
“Congratulations, Gregory. I’m so happy for you. I remember your telling me you wanted to do this. So you left the telephone company?”
“Full time, yes. I have consultant’s status with the company and I give them four or five hours a week, but as my business picks up, I’ll have to drop that. I forgot to ask how your job is working out.”
“I got a raise, and I didn’t have to ask for it. I’m proud of that.”
They walked through his sails factory, and she could see his pride in the first venture that he could call his own, as he showed her the sailcloth, ropes, and other materials that he used. By the time they left the building, they walked hand-in-hand, and she felt that if she breathed normally, he would realize it and drop her hand. She knew she wasn’t out of the woods with him, but maybe she had a chance.
I don’t deserve it, Lord, but if you give me a chance to show my appreciation for what I trampled on and lost, I’ll cherish it and make good use of it. I promise.
He drove her home, talking amiably as they went, and she forced herself not to ask him how he felt about the things she told him and whether they would see each other again. At the boardinghouse, he kissed her cheek.
“Thank you for this afternoon, Jolene. I’ll call you.” He started down the steps, turned and walked back to her. “I meant to ask how you happen to know Philip Coles.”
Flushed with relief that his question demanded nothing more than the simple truth, she said, “He’s pastor of the church my mother attended, and he recommended that I move here. You heard Fannie say he’s her brother.” When his eyebrows lifted sharply, she added. “Fannie said she looks like their father, and he looks like their mother.”
He studied her for a second, causing her to wonder what he was looking for. His right shoulder flexed in a shrug. “It happens. We’ll speak this week.”
From inside the door, she watched him stride to his car. At least he’s whistling a lighthearted tune, she thought. Maybe she wouldn’t see him again, and although it would hurt, she could accept it. Neither he nor Harper deserved her treatment of them, and by telling them, she had gained a sense of freedom, of relief from the burden of her past.
“The way to get along with people is to treat ’em the way you want ’em to treat you,” Judd had said. She would try to do that but, remembering her experience with Vida, she resolved also to watch her back. With half an hour before supper time, she dashed up the stairs to her room to freshen up and met Francine at the landing.
“You looked super in that red dress last night, Francine,” she said.
“Thanks. Not one bit better than you did in that yellow flounce and those spike heels. You were turning heads, girl. See you later.”
Jolene washed her face and hands, repaired her makeup, reached for her comb and stopped. She had just chatted with Francine the way the women in the beauty parlor talked with each other, and they had spoken as equals. She shook her head in wonder. Sophisticated Francine had paid her a compliment. She knew she had changed, that she had grown as a person since coming to Thank the Lord Boarding House, and she recognized in herself a new self-confidence. When and how had it happened?
At supper, she took her usual place between Joe Tucker and Louvenia Monroe and greeted each of them. A little of Louvenia went a long way with her, but as usual, she smiled and kept the thought to herself. Fannie said grace, and Rodger served them chestnut soup that Marilyn had laced with a goodly amount of sherry.
“Richard, why don’t you sit over here with us for a change?” Arnetha called to him from her table. “Percy doesn’t get in till tomorrow morning, and we could use another man at this table.” Silence greeted her suggestion, for Fannie had established a rule that boarders should always take their assigned seats.
“Oh, come on, Richard,” Arnetha, a retired nurse’s aide, insisted. “Ain’t gonna hurt you to bend a little.”
“Aw, leave him alone, Arnetha,” Louvenia said. “Let the man eat.”
“Yeah, leave him alone,” Jolene chimed in. “Some lower class might rub off on him, and we don’t want that, do we?”
“You didn’t have to say that, Jolene,” Joe Tucker said beneath his breath. “After all the nice things he said of you last night. You wouldn’t want him to say anything like that about you, would you?”
She stopped eating and glanced across the room to find Richard staring at her. “Joe, I didn’t mean to . . . I didn’t think. I was just joining in with the talk. I mean—”
“He’s a good fellow,” Joe said, “even if he does stay pretty much to himself. After what he did for Judd, he’s okay in my book.”
Oh, dear. I forgot my resolution to treat people like I want to be treated. “Joe, I’m ashamed of myself. Richard’s been nice to me. I . . .” She lost her taste for the meal, although some of the items were her favorites, shoved her plate aside and asked her table mates to excuse her. But how could she leave the dining room without apologizing to Richard? Both Fannie and Richard watched her as she approached their table.
“Richard, I just realized that what I said a minute ago wasn’t nice. I’m ashamed of myself, and especially when you’ve been so nice to me. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“It’s never good to be clever at another person’s expense,” Fannie said. “I was surprised.”
“I wanted to feel like I belong, so I talked without thinking, and I wish I’d kept my mouth shut the way I used to. Richard, I . . . you deserved better from me.”
“It’s all right, Jolene. Don’t sweat it.”
He didn’t look her in the eye, and that was so unlike him. She had hurt him. “It isn’t all right, Richard, and I’m so sorry. Please excuse me, Fannie. I’m going to my room.”
Richard didn’t join Judd and Francine in the lounge after supper. Jolene’s comment had enforced what he’d come to realize the night before. He stood at his bedroom window staring out at the blackness of the night, which was accentuated by the vast expanse of the bay and ocean in the distance. The boardinghouse had begun to feel like home; he enjoyed his volunteer work at the library and the high school, and the feeling that he belonged to no one and no place, which had plagued him for years, troubled him less frequently. But perhaps he’d been fooling himself.
When he heard a knock on his door, he moved away from the window and went to open the door. He hoped Marilyn wouldn’t provoke him into insulting her.
“Francine! What—?”
“I know it’s against the rules for me to come here, Richard, but I couldn’t help it. She didn’t mean to hurt you, and she’s in her room crying about it. She just didn’t think.”
“You came here to fix it up for Jolene?”
“Yes. No. I couldn’t stand knowing how you’re feeling right now.”
“Last night, I gave a very elegant party for Judd and everyone here enjoyed it, but the only people in this house who thanked me, other than Judd and Fannie, were you and Jolene. Tonight, Jolene made an unfortunate remark about me, and several people snickered. They don’t care about me.”
She stepped into the room and gripped his arm. “Don’t say that. They just haven’t figured out how to reach you. How could they not care about you?”
It seemed that the emptiness inside of him broadened into a deep hole, an aching void. He grabbed her shoulders. “You. What about you, Francine? Do you care about me?”
“Yes. Of course, I—”
“I don’t want to hear that. I need you. Do you hear me? I need you.”
“Oh, Lord.” It slid out of her in the form of a groan and, recognizing it for what it was, he lifted her into his room, kicked the door shut, and plunged his tongue into the warm and welcoming space between her parted lips. Shivers shot through him when her arms went around his neck and tightened as the hard tips of her breasts pressed against his chest, telling him that she also needed him. For the first time in his life, he trembled in a woman’s arms.
“Francine. Oh, Francine, I want you in my bed. I want to lose myself in you.”
Clearly shaken, she broke the kiss and stepped away from him, her breath coming in short, rapid pants. “In all my life, I’ve only made love with one man. He loved me, and I loved him. You need me and want me, but you don’t love me. I can’t do it.” When he reached for her, she put a finger to his lips. “I’m not old-fashioned, but I won’t be an item in your collection, Richard, no matter how badly I want you. And let me tell you, I want you.” She reached up, kissed his cheek, strolled from the room and left him gaping in her wake.
He stood there, rooted to the floor, poleaxed, wondering what had hit him. Footsteps on the stairs brought him back to himself, and he managed to close his door, wiping the sweat that poured from his temples as he did so. What I need, he told himself, is a good run. He put on a sweat suit and sneakers, slipped unnoticed down the stairs and out on to Ocean Road. He welcomed the cold wind bruising his face, and raced into it. At the corner of Ocean Road and Rhone, one block from the boardinghouse, he turned toward the beach.
The more energy he used, the more he enjoyed the punishment to his body, the body that threatened to enslave him to a woman, something he swore would never happen. Estelle had brought him to his knees, but no other woman would be able to claim that. He was through with using women, but he was not averse to a relationship with a woman who understood that he was taking care of his needs and she was taking care of hers.
As he neared the water, he became aware of several human figures near the water’s edge, and he slowed down. In the distance, he saw a light. It was dim, but unmistakable. Remembering Francine’s mission, he turned, raced back to the boarding house and found her in the lounge, talking with Judd.
He greeted Judd as casually as he could. “Francine, I need to talk with you. It’s urgent.”
“I’ll be with you in a minute.”
“Oh, now,” Judd said. “Go on, Francine. I’m not one to stand in the way of romance.”
“You’re way off, Judd,” she said, then looked at him. “Can’t it wait?”
Annoyed that she would put him off in Judd’s presence, he replied. “Of course it can wait, and you will be very sorry if it does.” He spun around and headed for the stairs, but she caught him before he reached the landing.
“What’s so urgent?”
“By now, probably nothing. I jogged down to the beach and caught your boys in action.”
“What? Where?”
“At the end of Rhone Street. A boat with a faint light stood some distance from shore, and at least three men were waiting for it.”
“Excuse me.” She dashed toward her room, and he didn’t doubt her intention to call the authorities.
“You’re probably too late,” he said when she came back to him.
“I’m sure of it. Those guys move quickly. Still, my men will be there in minutes. You were right, I am sorry I didn’t give you a chance to tell me right away, but I’m carrying a heavy weight and I didn’t have the option of running it off.” She looked up at him. “Thank you for helping me, Richard.”
“You’d do the same for me.” Richard went into his room and closed the door. The run might have been good for his health, but it did nothing for his emotions. He took a shower and prepared for a long night. He knew he had mistreated a lot of women, had gladly followed wherever his “devil libido” had led him, but that was behind him; he was a changed man, and he wanted to know when the hell he would stop paying for his past.
Lord, I’m lost, Francine said to herself after she left Richard. Falling for this man is probably the dumbest thing I ever did. She went to her room, closed the door and dialed her captain. Richard was honest, personable and masculine to the core. But he was too handsome and too charming. How was a woman to know when a man had seduced her and when she loved him for his worth as a person, loved him enough to share her body with him?
I’m too old to be so confused. A forty-seven-year-old woman should be too smart to allow a man to hoodwink her. With a sigh, she sank on to the bed, unmindful of its delicate, tissue-taffeta lavender cover. No point in trying to fool herself, she’d fallen for Richard as much for what she saw in him as a man as for his male magnetism. It’s a good thing that man doesn’t know he affects me the way a torch affects dry grass.
“Hello? What did you get?”
“We caught one woman because she’s too old to run away,” her captain said. “We don’t know how many were on that boat. They landed and scattered before we got there, and that little boat was a ghost ship. The smugglers had disappeared, too. Damn, Francine. We were so close.”
“You think we can get any tips from that old woman?”
“Naah. She doesn’t even know she’s in custody. Stay with it.”
“Will do.” She hung up. The captain would give her points for that effort, but the praise really belonged to Richard. She couldn’t dwell on how that could be fixed, however, for the more time she spent thinking of Richard Peterson, the more he would mean to her. She vowed to leave Pike Hill as soon as she put Ronald Barnes in handcuffs.
After a night of wrestling with the sheets, Richard dragged himself out of bed, brushed his teeth, washed his face, dressed, and moseyed down to the dining room, hoping to be able to eat his breakfast alone. It was not to be. Minutes after he sat down, Judd joined him.
“From the looks of you, I’d say you don’t want company,” Judd said, “so I’ll just sit here. You don’t have to talk. I got used to eating m’ breakfast with you, and I like it that way.”
In spite of himself, Richard couldn’t help laughing. “Enjoy your breakfast, Judd. I’m aware that I can’t get around you.”
Rodger brought the coffee and, after cooling it with his breath, Judd took a few sips. “Francine is a nice girl. Intelligent, too. I wish the two of you would work out whatever’s bothering you and accept the fact that you’re going to be lovers.”
Richard stopped chewing his raspberry pancake, placed his fork on his plate and looked at Judd. “Where’d you get that idea?”
“From you and Francine. She came in the lounge looking and acting like a hen tripping over hot asphalt, and you go jogging after ten o’clock. I may be old, but I still got sense.”
Richard sighed in resignation. “All right, but there’s nothing to it.”
Judd pulled air through his front teeth and rolled his eyes. “You hope.” He looked toward the door. “Come on over here and eat with us, Jolene. My, but you look nice and fresh this morning.”
“Thanks. It’s not because I slept well.” She looked at Richard. “Mind if I eat here?” To his amazement, she reached for his hand, took it and held it. “I’d give anything if I could take back that stupid remark, Richard. Do you think you’ll be able to forgive me?”
His first reaction was to suggest that she let him eat in peace, but when he looked at her, he saw pain reflected in her eyes. He remembered her having once alluded to experiencing more than her share of unhappiness and misery, and he accepted that she didn’t want to cause him to suffer as she had. The thought softened his attitude toward her.
“I know you didn’t want to make me uncomfortable,” he said. “You weren’t thinking.”
“No, I definitely wasn’t, and maybe that’s the problem. All my life, I’ve thought only of myself, how to get out of my misery and then, how to get even or how to get what I want. I’m just learning to feel for other people and to care about them.”
He nearly choked on the pancake, for he, too, was a recent repentant, and he only hoped she didn’t have as much to atone for as he did. Or, at least, that the pill she had to swallow would be less bitter. “We all have to start somewhere, Jolene,” he said. “You’ve made a lot of progress since I’ve known you, and you’re to be commended.”
“Yes, siree,” Judd said. “You’re doing just fine. By the way, how’d you happen to know Reverend Coles?”
“He was the pastor of my mother’s church in Hagerstown, Maryland. I didn’t see much of him, though, because I never went anywhere during mama’s illness, which lasted almost seven years, and he came to see her only every three months to bring communion. In fact, in those days, I seldom saw anybody. Reverend Coles suggested that I close up the old house, sell it, move here, and start over.
“You know, I’ve decided to enroll in that Lifelong Learning Program at Catawba College in Salisbury, and maybe I can volunteer at the library one evening a week.”
Richard stared at her. When he asked her months earlier to help during the computer classes, she refused. “That would certainly make our work easier. How about Tuesday?”
“Fine. I’d better hurry, or I’ll miss my bus.”
“You’re doing the right thing, Jolene,” Judd said. “I’m proud of you.”
“Yes,” Richard said. “Congratulations. You will always be proud that you did it.”
“Thanks. See you this evening.”
“I thought I understood women,” Richard said to Judd after Jolene left, “but she is a colossal enigma.”
“If you understand women, my friend, you deserve a medal. Jolene likes Gregory Hicks. Enigma solved.”
Jolene tightened the scarf around her neck as she hurried down Ocean Road to Bay Avenue where she boarded the bus each morning. With the trees totally bare, the wind whipped in from the ocean unrestrained, drawing tears from her eyes. The bus drove up simultaneously with her arrival there and, grateful for the warmth it offered, she jumped in and greeted the driver.
“Did you ever go to see Masterson?” the driver asked her. She told him that she had visited Harper twice. “Yeah? Well, since you two are friends and nothing else, according to you, suppose you and me take in a movie one night?”
She hesitated. Here was a good looking, strong man, and she didn’t really have anyone who cared about her. Maybe if . . . She stared down at him, while he gazed up at her expectantly, as if he knew she wouldn’t resist him, that she was available and waiting for him to make a move. His gaze went to her breasts, their outline visible beneath her coat, and her nipples tightened and she could feel a warm flush in her vagina. Why not?
“Whatever I do, I do it thoroughly,” he said. “No woman has ever complained that I don’t know how to give her the ride of her life. What do you say?”
No pretense about friendship or even that he liked her. Hadn’t she been down that road before and walked off it empty and ashamed? And hadn’t she promised herself never to do it again? She could feel her bottom lip begin to curl. “No thanks. I’m seeing someone.”
“I can definitely believe that, babe, cause you really smoking.”
She didn’t answer but took a seat in the back, proud that she had sense enough not to be a convenience for a man just because he showed an interest in her, proud that hearing a man say she looked nice did not inflate her ego.
As soon as she walked into the beauty parlor, Vida rushed to her with a frantic expression on her face and grabbed her arm. “Jolene! Jolene, I’m so glad you got here before any customers came in so we can talk. Could you ask to get off an hour early and stay at my place till I get home? The nanny has to leave today at three-thirty.”
Jolene stared at the woman, hardly able to believe she had heard her correctly. “Why can’t you take an hour off?”
“Please, Jolene. I want to go to the Bahamas in January, and I’ll need all of my vacation time.”
Heading for the dressing room to change into her uniform, Jolene threw over her shoulder, “Like I won’t need my vacation time? Take a shorter vacation, and when people befriend you, remember not to abuse them.”
“What was that about?” her boss asked. “I told you once you’re better off leaving Vida alone. If you stick your hand into a patch of poison ivy and it swells up and starts itching, you gonna keep doing it?”
She smiled a smile that came from her heart. “No, indeed, sir. I’ve learned a lot since I came here. Vida can’t ring my bell anymore, because I won’t let her.”
“Way to go. You doing good, and if you continue to do this well, I can maybe take some time off and leave you to manage the shop. Business has picked up a lot since you’ve been answering the phone and making the appointments. What I needed was a good receptionist. You got a head on your shoulders.”
“Are you serious? You’d leave me in charge of this place while you go off somewhere?”
“Yeah. You’ll get another fifty bucks in your envelope Saturday.”
“What? I . . . thank you. Thank you, sir.”
She walked to the cash register thinking how different her life was now from what it was the day she began working in the beauty parlor. Her mama said she wasn’t worth a cent. Well, mama, that’s one more thing you misled me about. Who knows what I might have become if you hadn’t bathed me in your misery? She dusted the counter, the computer/cash register, and the vase that held the artificial calla lilies.
I think I would be happy now if only Gregory would call as he promised. But if he doesn’t, I’ll have to live with it. It won’t kill me. At least I have a clear conscience. Well, almost. I ought to try and put things right with Percy Lucas. He acts as if what happened between him and me took all the air out of him.
When she left work that afternoon, she stopped at a florist shop and ordered some roses for delivery to Harper Masterson. Doing that gave her a good feeling, elevating her mood, and she headed for the bus stop with light, spirited steps. As she hopped on the bus, her cell phone rang.
“Hello, Jolene. This is Gregory.”