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THE cold air hits my face as we walk to the bus stop. A few months have passed by, and Em has been out of hospital for some time now. I only see her when she is with Jane. Em hates that I don’t live at home with her anymore. She hates how Sam and Jeremy want to be parents to her, and she hates that they never told her about me. Em confided in Jane one day, and Jane told her the truth. Em walked down the road to Dakota’s place and cried her heart out. I held her in my arms the whole night. I took her home the next day. Sam was more relieved to get Em home than seeing me. Not that I cared. I was happy that Sam looked scared that her daughter was missing after everything that has happened.
The ground cover is white—the winter’ fallen snow. Hot smokey-breath escapes my mouth with every exhale of breath. Dash is walking with Archer another brother, who keeps to himself. Archer looks young like Dash, but he is older in age. They are making art with the hot air. Archer can only blow out a heart, and Dash keeps calling him cupid. I shake my head, and Dakota chuckles beside me.
Jackson and the boys treat me like family, and for the first time in my life, I feel as though I belong. The love they have for each other is something I have never witnessed.
And it’s something that I know I have missed out on.
The blue and white bus with the Avalon High emblem on the side comes into view. Dakota drapes his arm over my shoulder and pulls me in closer to his warm body.
Dash and Archer walk ahead of us and get onto the bus. Archer had some sort of tool he needed to pick up in town, and the only way he could get there, was via the school bus; since Jackson is currently fixing their car. So he dressed up as a student and joined us; not that the bus driver would notice. And he does kinda look our age.
A cold hand touches mine, and I flinch back. I look over my shoulder.
Em is standing in line beside me.
I grab a hold of her and try to warm her up.
She is wearing a blue cardigan over her school uniform. Her little nose is red, and her teeth chatter. Dakota shrugs off his jacket and puts it around Em’s shoulders.
My heart flutters a little.
‘Why aren’t you getting a ride with Jane?’ I ask.
‘She is sick,’ Em replies.
‘Where’s Sam? I mean, your Mum?’ I ask.
‘She ... and Jeremy ...’
I don’t need to know anymore. I tuck Em close to my side and we get on the bus behind everyone else. I ask the bus driver if he’ll make a detour to Em’s school.
* * *
I DOODLE IN MY NOTEBOOK. I hate maths. It’s such a boring class, and none of my friends are in here with me. We always used to goof around so they split us up. Well, if you call passing notes goofing around, then you’re just as silly as the teachers. This is the only class in which our phones get confiscated as soon as we walk through the door. Ms Rogers is writing up some equations on the white board for us to copy down. I look across at the girl sitting next to me, and I study her notes and copy them down. She has written the answer next to each problem.
She tries to cover the page, but I have already copied all the answers. She huffs and blows out some of her fringe that sits just above her eyes.
I start to pack up my books, then sit and wait for the siren to go.
As soon as the whir sounds through the building, I get up out of my seat and then run out of the door.
‘No running in the corridor,’ Ms Rogers calls out.
The canteen always smells of hot food. Pastry from the pies and sausage rolls, the muffins and the smell of salad from the many rolls waft through the area. I grab some food and an orange juice, then go and sit in our usual spot with the other year twelves.
Dakota has his arm draped over the seat next to him as I casually sit down. His hand squeezes my shoulder, and then he plays with my hair, twirling it around his finger. Dash is talking about some footy game he watched on the weekend.
Sienna sits down next to Parker, and Jess sits opposite Dash. He looks at her and carries on with his story. Jess flicks her hair over her shoulder. Sienna is watching her, but then immerses herself into Dash’s story. The other boys from the house join us. The table is overcrowded with testosterone.
* * *
‘AVA, CAN I TALK TO you?’ Parker asks as we wait for our rides home. Dakota lets go of my hand and waits on the bench. He sits on top of the backrest of the seat.
‘Sure.’ I follow Parker towards the cars in the parking lot.
‘Um, can you keep a secret?’ Parker looks back over her shoulder.
‘Yes, of course I can,’ I say as I think about Dakota and his secret life.
Parker nods her head. ‘I, um, kissed Dean,’ she blurts out.
My eyes grow wide.
WOW!
I blink a few times to let it sink in.
‘What! When did this happen?’ I ask her.
‘Um, a while ago, but he is still with Raybaby.’ Her shoulders slump and her eyes are downcast.
‘Oh, I don’t know what to say,’ I reply.
‘That’s okay. I just wanted to tell someone. Dean asked me to keep it a secret, but I couldn’t any longer. I know Raychelle is cheating on him. I just don’t know who she is cheating with.’
I do, but I’m not telling anyone, just yet.
‘So are you okay with that?’ I ask her.
She nods her head. ‘Yeah, I mean, it was just one single kiss. Would that mean anything?’
‘Yeah it would. The first time Dakota and I kissed, it was magical. I feel like my lips belong to him and only him. Now, I could never kiss anybody else. Just the thought of that makes me sick.’ My stomach rolls.
‘How can your lips belong to him?’ Parker’s forehead creases.
‘I don’t know. They just do.’ I shrug. ‘Dakota’s lips know exactly how to please mine, and my lips know how to please his. I could kiss him forever and never grow tired of it. And the little noises he makes.’ I moan, as I think about Dakota and his magical lips.
‘So, does that mean I can’t kiss anybody else?’ Parker raises an eyebrow.
‘No, of course you can.’ I point to my chest. ‘I just choose not to.’
And I know deep down in my heart that I won’t be able to kiss just anybody.
‘I’m just sick of waiting for Dean. Did you know that he messages me on Facebook and to my phone?’ Parker studies her nails.
I frown. I wonder if she realises that Dean might be just playing with her. Male double standards shit me. ‘Don’t let that get out, but maybe you should sit down and to talk to Dean about what you want.’
Parker nods her head. ‘Well, thanks for listening. I better go and wait by the car. Are you getting a lift with us today?’
‘No, I’m good.’
Parker walks towards Dean’s car and waits for him.
I walk over to Dakota.
‘How much of that did you hear?’ I ask him as I snake my arms around his waist. His woodsy smell engulfs me.
‘Not all of it.’ Dakota rubs his chin.
‘I know how good your hearing is. Just don’t tell anybody.’
Dakota’s hands cup my face. His stare is intense.
‘You have my word.’ He gives me a chaste kiss on my lips.