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DAKOTA
While the snow falls and there’s a chill in the air from winter, I chop wood for the fireplace. As werewolves, we don’t feel the cold as much as humans do. Ava is sitting in the lounge room, watching Cooper play some game on the PlayStation 4 about killing pirates.
Through the glass window, I can see her movements. She lifts her legs up and hugs her knees as she watches Cooper drive a car around on the screen. Ava misses her sister, and being around Cooper and Duey help her cope a little.
‘Damn it,’ Cooper yells at the TV. The red hatchback he was driving collided with a tree.
‘Can it be fixed?’ Ava asks. She’s intrigued by the game.
Cooper leans his head to the side and stares at Ava as though she has grown another head.
‘Yeah, you just do this,’ he says, sounding a little miffed. I don’t think he likes all the questions when he is playing the game.
He presses buttons on the control and starts working on the car. The screen shows the wreck being fixed.
‘Do you want a turn?’ Cooper asks as he holds the control out for Ava.
‘Ah, no thanks. I’d rather just watch.’ Ava runs a hand through her long, white-blonde hair.
‘Yeah, girls don’t normally play games.’ Cooper’s head turns to the side as he looks Ava over. ‘Well, that’s what the girls from school tell me anyway.’ He continues.
‘I think some girls do,’ Ava mutters.
Something hard clanks when it hits the floor. I feel Ava jump from the noise, and my body shakes. I hear a low growl midway through the chop of a piece of wood. I drop the axe and run at hyper speed into the house. Everyone moves in slow motion. Cooper has frozen in his seat, and his eyes look out the corner. A chill spreads over the room, and Ava looks over her shoulder. Cooper leaps over the couch in a blur. He and Duey stand shoulder to shoulder, ready for a fight.
‘Young Delinquents,’ Katzé says. Her chestnut hair blows with the slight icy breeze. ‘Have you no idea who I am?’ She sticks her nose in the air. Not a piece of clothing is out of place. Her beauty radiates through the room. She lifts up the sleeve of her T-shirt to reveal the Föehn mark on her arm. Both the boys bow, but Ava slouches further down into the chair after she notices their reaction.
I walk towards Katzé with my palms facing up.
‘Kat, what are you doing here?’ I ask, as I hug her. I notice Ava peep over the top of the couch.
‘I haven’t heard from you in a while, and I thought that I would check this place out.’ Kat shrugs.
I nod my head, knowing that this is a lie. Well, yeah I haven’t spoken to her since we moved here, but this feels like her father Efrem’s doing. I push Ava’s bond away. I don’t want Katzé to see her.
‘This town, Butler is small,’ she ponders. ‘I missed you, Kody.’
Her nickname for me grates on my every nerve.
Katzé trails her hand down my arm.
I flinch and move away.
Kat’s head moves back slightly.
Kat narrows her eyes at me, and then looks over at where Ava is slouched into the couch. She twitches her nose as she studies Ava.
‘Who ... is the human?’ she asks.
‘A friend of Cooper’s— from school,’ I say, automatically going with the human story. I notice out the corner of my eye Ava’s mouth hanging open. Cooper walks over, puts a finger under her chin and closes it shut. My nostrils flare as I give Cooper the death stare.
‘You allow them into your home?’ Kat asks in wonder. She has never spent any time with any other species but werewolves.
‘Yes, to keep up appearances,’ I whisper rubbing the back of my neck.
I know Ava can hear every word that I am saying.
‘Cooper, please take your friend home,’ my voice trembles a little, betraying me. Pull yourself together man. It’s my duty to protect the pack and ... Katzé, but all I want to do is hold Ava and protect her. The trouble is that Ava needs protecting from me. I’m hurting her. Right now. God! Why is Cooper just sitting there, prolonging this?
‘Now.’ I frown when Cooper and Ava don’t move.
Cooper stands next to Ava. She holds her hand up to ward him off.
My stomach hardens. I feel sick.
As Cooper and Ava reach the front door, she looks back over her shoulder; her eyes brimming with tears. I die inside, knowing that I’m doing this to her. My wolf spirit is ripping me to shreds, trying to fix this. He knows that he can’t survive without our mate.
‘Does she know about us?’ Katzé asks.
I rub my eyebrow. ‘No,’ my voice is stern as I lie.
I know Katzé wants to talk, but right now all I want to do is follow Ava back to Sam’s place. I hear every crunch of the snow under Ava’s feet as she drags them to her old house.
It’s as though I’m having an out-of-body experience. I can see her. Oh, God. I know that Ava has her hand pressing hard against her chest. We’re still connected. I know that Ava has her hand pressing hard against her chest, because I have my fist against mine.
Cooper helps Ava to her room. He sits her on the bed.
My world is spinning as all of our emotions, both mine and Ava’s, overwhelm my senses. I don’t know if it’s just me in the living room or if others are watching as our hearts break into billions of pieces.
Cooper says something. ‘That girl is the princess and she doesn’t like humans,’ but neither Ava nor I can hear him. Our hearts are beating in our ears.
‘What?’ Ava says, numbly.
‘She—that girl—is the princess. She doesn’t like humans,’ Cooper repeats.
‘I’m sorry,’ he whispers, and I don’t know if he is talking to me or Ava anymore. I run out the back door of our house, and I run for Ava’s bedroom window, but my feet won’t take me anywhere near her. I linger by the back fence and use my other senses to seek her out.
Ava crawls into the middle of her bed and curls up into a ball.
I feel her try to push away the hurt in her chest, but it’s winning. I hang my head. I did this, me, no-one else! I should have protected her from myself. I need to hit something. I run towards the training grounds.
I know to Ava, this feels worse than anything Sam has ever done. Seeing Em in the hospital bed probably didn’t feel as bad. And to me, it hurts more than never saying goodbye to my Mum.
* * *
I JUMPED THROUGH THE trees until I can’t feel my arms and legs anymore. And that was after I punched into a tree and broke my hands. I didn’t feel anything. I was numb; I still am. I know Jackson has told the everyone in the house to give me room, but why the hell is Katzé not listening to him. I suppose he isn’t her Alpha so his orders don’t matter.
‘What do you want, Kat?’ I grumble.
She pokes her head in the door. I am lying on my bed staring up at the ceiling. Katzé comes in and leans against the wall with her hands behind her back.
‘That girl means more to you than anybody else in this house,’ she states.
I hold my breath.
‘Dakota, I don’t want to lose you. That was the sole reason for me coming here. I could feel you pulling away. You never text me back or call when I asked you to. And all of that is because of her!’ Kat continues.
I can’t even look at her. Though her disappointed expression doesn’t hurt as much as the look Ava gave me. That was really painful! It killed a part of me. It still is painful.
‘Dakota, start breathing. You’re turning blue,’ Kat scolds. ‘Look—’ She sighs. ‘I know that you’re hurting right now, but you have to know that I’m not giving up on you ... us.’ Kat leaves the room and closes the door quietly behind her.
I thought that I would have more time with Ava before Katzé ever came looking for me. I never got to explain the whole transformation thing to Ava. Fuck, she is going to hate me when it happens.
I roll over and dig my nose into my pillow. Ava’s heavenly scent fills my nose. I look up, hoping that she is here and that this is all a dream. I groan when I realise that it’s reality.
Ava’s smell is still on my pillow.
Fuck!