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WINTER was heartbreakingly cold, but before I realise, it is Spring. On the outside, I show courage, but I’m far from courageous. In reality, I’m broken and tired of watching Dakota and that girl— what was her name? Katrina, Katzé or Kat what-ever-her name is! Seeing her parade around the school grounds has been hard.
‘You ready for graduation?’ Parker asks. ‘No more coming to school and dealing with ...’ Her eyes linger over Raybaby. ‘... Bitches.’
‘Yeah, I can’t wait to get out of here,’ I say.
‘Oh ... where are you going?’ she asks.
I forgot I haven’t told any of my friends my plan after we graduate.
‘I’m going to find my dad. It’s about time he faced up to the consequences of leaving me.’
‘But you’re already eighteen. Well, nearly anyway. What does it matter now?’
Did I need the reminder that I turn eighteen in two weeks? No, I don’t, because I will be eighteen and all alone.
Sam, Jeremy and Em have gone out of town to spend some time with Jeremy’s family again. They are both undergoing treatment for their drug addictions. One day, Sam mentioned something about not liking Jeremy’s family and that she hates staying with them when he is not around. They both do the treatment at different intervals so that Em is never by herself. Sam doesn’t take me because she never really regarded me as family, and I never saw her that way either. We were just two people who never really got on, but we did it anyway. I am grateful, however, that Sam gave me a place to stay when I had nowhere else to go.
‘Anyway—’ Parker interrupts my thoughts. ‘The graduation party is at Pickett’s Barn now.’ Parker brushes some hair out of her face. ‘I don’t know why they keep changing it.’
‘Why don’t they do a Facebook event and post the address on the day? Surely that seems more logical.’
‘Yeah, they have. That’s what I’m talking about. The address for the party keeps changing on the event.’
‘Oh,’ I mutter. I haven’t been on Facebook for the last six months.
‘Trevor is driving me insane with his Dux speech,’ Sienna whines as she sits on the bench with Parker and me. ‘You’re supposed to be quiet in the library.’
‘We graduate in a few days, so he could be nervous. He might need to talk about it,’ Parker pleads.
‘Maybe he had nowhere else to go,’ I say.
‘You’re not any help,’ Sienna says. ‘Can I stay at yours— the night of the party?’ she asks.
I narrow my eyes. ‘Who? —Me,’ I point to my chest.
Sienna nods. ‘Yes, you. I can’t really stay at Parker’s.’
‘And why not?’ Parker asks.
‘Because you have too many brothers in the house.’
Parker snorts. She is the only girl in the family, and her brothers are much younger.
‘Mum’s having another baby. Dad thinks she is better knocked up.’ Parker rolls her eyes. ‘We already have a house full of boys. I hope, this time, she has a girl.’
Sienna and I gape at her.
‘What?’
‘Is that why you have been staying away from your house?’ Sienna asks.
Parker nods. ‘Mum can be a hormonal bitch.’
‘Parker, that’s all a part of being pregnant,’ Sienna scolds.
Parker rolls her eyes.
Dean pulls up, and we all pile into the car.
* * *
I GET OUT AT THE OLD fig and walk home through the thick forest—something I haven’t done in ages. Birds chirp and sing as I walk further into the trees. I hear the bus come to a stop on the road behind me. People get out chatting and saying their goodbyes.
I’m almost ready to leave. I wish I could go now, but I can’t. I still have to graduate and act normal, which I’m far from it.
The asbestos fence comes up quick. Climbing over slow and steady, my jeans get stuck on the metal railing. My leg is hanging in the air, while my other one is on the ground. I hold onto the top and lean back.
‘Why?’ I throw my head back and yell.
I pull myself up again and pull at my leg to rip the jeans.
The grass is ankle-deep as I walk through it to the backdoor. The house is empty and quiet, apart from the low hum of the fridge.
The floorboards creak under my feet as I make my way to the bedroom. Sam has improved more on the housekeeping, but I’m not sure how long that will last.
I rip the school shirt off and search through my drawers for something more comfortable. Pulling the hair tie out of my hair, I shake the blonde mane to hang loose over my shoulders and down my back.
I slip off my shoes and walk around the house, looking for something to do. This place is pretty tidy, and the rooms are neat. I open the hallway cupboard to see if I change the shelves around, but Sam has already beat me too it. Something glistens, and it catches my eye. I move things out of the way and reach in.
It’s cold and hard to my touch.
Pulling it out, I find a sliver chain with an almost-teardrop ornament and an intricate pattern all over the surface. I let the necklace dangle in front of me, mesmerised by the delicate pendant.
I walk to the bathroom and slip the necklace over my head. I adjust the pendant so that it hangs between my breasts. The ornament glows, and bright colours surround me in the small area. The room warps. My head starts spinning, and I hold onto my knees to keep my balance.
Black spots appear in my eyes.
My heart beat throbs in my ear, cutting out all other noises. I feel my body temperature rise as sweat pours out of my skin. My eyes become blurry as my hand reaches out for the wall to lean on. My legs buckle from the dizzy spell, and I collapse in the hallway.