Katenekwa spent the day oscillating between excitement and panic.
She made several attempts throughout the day to put her dilemma to rest once and for all. Would she go against her principles or let Wezi down?
Those few seconds after he’d invited her out had been the hardest, most indecisive of her life. She’d felt like a spectator in the battle between her mind and heart.
The heart had won. But was it the right choice?
Unable to focus on her work, Katenekwa announced that she’d be leaving the office early. She needed time to get her shit together before her date. After all her years of pining for Wezi, she owed it to herself to give it a try—damn the consequences and fears.
“Gwen, I’m leaving soon. Do you need anything before I go?” she called from the back office. No answer. “Gwen?”
She picked her bag, suppressed the desire to skip, and went into the front office. At the sight of Josiah at the door, her elation took a speedy exit. Blackness claimed her soul and extinguished the last shreds of euphoria.
She forced a smile, shunted away from the part of her brain that was screaming and spoke. “Hi. I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Hey. I met Gwen at the bank earlier, and she mentioned you were leaving early today. I figured I’d come by and see if you’re up for an evening out.”
So many reasons not to.
She had a real chance with Wezi, the guy who had no idea Josiah even existed. She wasn’t dating Josiah per se, and by per se, she meant she refused to label their romantic entanglement. Was she two-timing them? Was this what cheating looked like?
Oh, God! How had it come to this? Dating two guys at the same time went against her every moral fibre. No matter how acceptable her peers and her elders made it seem, she didn’t believe in having a guy on the back burner. And in this scenario, who was on the back burner? Or was she switching them around like board game pieces?
She inhaled and postponed her panic attack. “Oh. Okay. Um. Let me finish here. I’ll meet you downstairs.”
“Sure thing.” He beamed and walked out.
Oh, Lord! How was she going to get out of this? She couldn’t lie to his face again. He didn’t deserve that from her. He didn’t deserve any of the heartbreak she’d put him through if she chose Wezi.
Wait. Hadn’t she already chosen Wezi?
Gwen walked into the office as Katenekwa stumbled toward the back office.
“Hey, you leaving now?”
Katenekwa glared at Gwen. “You told Josiah I was leaving early? Why?”
Gwen halted halfway into the office and looked at her, face set in puzzlement. “Because you’ve been complaining about not having time to go on a proper date with him. I guessed that’s why you were leaving early. You had an I-have-a-date look in your eyes all afternoon.”
Katenekwa rubbed her temples. “I do have a date. With Wezi.”
Gwen’s jaw dropped. “I thought you said you were just friends?”
“We are. It’s complicated. Oh, God, what do I do?” The strength left Katenekwa’s knees, and she leaned into the door frame.
Gwen eyed her suspiciously. “You always say you don’t date musicians. Wezi is a musician.”
“You think I don’t know that? I just—Gwen, stay out of my love life, okay?” she said, her tone harsher than she’d meant it to be.
The amusement fled Gwen’s face. “Yeah, sure thing, boss. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” Katenekwa was sure she heard a sneer in Gwen’s statement.
“Thanks,” Katenekwa said in lieu of an apology.
Josiah was waiting in the reception area, perusing a National Geographic magazine. She’d seen this guy read food labels with the same fervour. It’s what had attracted her to him in the dentist’s office where they’d met a year ago.
She had been so unfair to Josiah. It was her fault things hadn’t progressed between them. She’d been putting him off, keeping a light in the window for the would-be playboy who’d abandoned her. She was stupid, wasn’t she?
Here was a man who’d been waiting for her for over a year, and she was fawning over someone who’d ghosted her for almost two years.
Lillian was right. There was no future with Wezi. So, she exiled her emotions and libido to a dark corner of her being and faced Josiah with the resolve to give him a real chance.
“What did you have in mind?”
“A client gave me some tickets.” He pulled the tickets from his back pocket. “I think it’s an amusement park. Want to check it out?”
Katenekwa kept herself from gaping at him. “Um, sure. You really want to go there?”
He shrugged. “Sure, sounds like fun. We need to change, though.”
***
The park was rather busy for a weekday. There was a queue for every single ride. Katenekwa and Josiah spent most of the time leisurely exploring the park, contented simply to be in each other’s company.
Dates with Josiah were always so comfortable. So familiar. He didn’t plunge her into raving madness and spur irrational thoughts. His presence didn’t make her want to dance in the rain or sprint across highways. His touch didn’t send her into insatiable need, and she didn’t moan his name when he met her gaze. He was what she needed. Sanity. She’d be foolish to not recognize the far-reaching potential of this match.
Afterwards, guilt met her at the door of her flat with the realization that she’d stood Wezi up. Uncertainty sprouted, and she wrestled with the what-ifs.
What if Wezi wasn’t a flirt? What if things could work out? What if he loved her like no one ever would?
But in all her inquiry, one fact stuck out: She’d only believe he could be an honest man if he wasn’t a singer. Thus, she marched into the house, determined to put the brakes on the runaway car that was her entanglement with Wezi. But seeing him, legs tucked under him, playing his guitar, knocked her hat full of sound reasoning into the abyss. How could she let him down? Her restless mind demanded that she turn tail, but her feet ignored the instructions.
Wezi looked up from writing on his music pad and took off the headphones. “Hey. Couldn’t get off work?”
She hated to lie and scratched her neck instead. “So, I guess we’re going out another night.”
“Are you kidding me? The place really starts to liven up around this time. We can still go.”
To a rough pub, at eleven at night. This was the life Wezi represented, and she had to admit she wasn’t the spontaneous, outgoing type. She’d never been dancing, and as far as drinking, she only did so at social gatherings and never in pubs. This wasn’t the life for her. If ever there was a reason to let Wezi down, here it was.
“I’m beat. Maybe some other time. Or we can have a quiet dinner instead?”
With all the double meals she’d had this week, she’d gain a few pounds by the time Wezi left or her lies caught up with her. Imagine, not only was her deception costing her mental health, but it could also literally cost her physical health. Talk about karma.
Wezi studied her with accusatory eyes as if he knew she was rejecting him because of another man. “Yeah. I guess we can.”
She suffocated in the disappointment in his eyes. “Why did you want to go to a pub anyway? You said you aren’t a party boy.”
“I’m not. It was part of this whole K memorial tour I had planned. I know everyone sees K as the reckless playboy, but that’s not the K I knew. He was so much more. And it’s not all pubs. Just this one. It’s special.”
Now she felt like an ass. She deserved to drown in an endless ocean of guilt, forever and ever. Damn it. “Oh, fine then. Let’s go.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. A drink or two won’t hurt.”
***
They arrived at the pub a few minutes shy of midnight and parked in a spot on the far end of the crowded lot. If one could call the unmarked lot – about the size of half a football ground – a parking lot.
Katenekwa stared in awe at the venue. It gave the phrase ‘beer garden’ a very literal meaning. Different coloured patio chairs and tables were arranged in no discernible pattern around a stage, where a trio of drunk girls sang at the top of their lungs, breaking every single law of music and torturing their listeners. But they seemed to be having the time of their lives, and the audience didn’t look like they’d come here for the entertainment.
“Is this place for real?” Katenekwa stared after a waitress who walked past them from the bar. She carried a tray, filled with beverages, strapped to her like a cigar girl from an old movie.
Wezi led her to a low table with an outdoor modular sofa a little distance from the stage. “Fun, right?”
“That remains to be seen,” she shouted over the din. “K used to come here?”
"We met here. I was the bartender. He spotted my guitar behind the bar and asked me if I could play or if it was an accessory. He asked me to go on stage with him.”
“Did you?”
“Hell no. I did later, though. Many months later.”
Katenekwa reached out to hold his hand. “Thanks for sharing this with me.”
Wezi beamed and called over a waitress. “Now, let’s get some beers into you and see if we can’t get you on stage.”
“In your dreams.”
It was a night out of a dream. She threw caution to the wind and joined Wezi on stage. They sang to a drunken crowd. They danced. She let herself stay in that moment. The crowd thinned faster than she’d thought possible, and by one, they were two of the few still around.
The DJ quieted the music and played classic R&B to the few drunken couples still hanging around.
Talking to Wezi was so akin to breathing. He didn’t belittle or judge her ambitions and experiences. Instead, he was everything she’d ever hoped for and nothing like she’d imagined. There was a depth to him she could have never dreamed flirtatious Wezi possessed. And for tonight, everything made sense.
In between tender kisses that went no further, Katenekwa and Wezi shared their lives and dared each other to stay awake until sunrise.
“Who won?” Wezi had stirred a few seconds after she awoke but kept his eyes closed, his arm wrapped around her.
“Nature did. We, on the other hand, failed completely, and I’m not entirely sure who fell asleep first.”
He chortled. “Then why did I get the prize?”
“What prize?”
He opened his eyes and gazed deep into her soul. “You.”
Katenekwa’s chest became too small to contain the joy growing inside. “You should write love songs.”
“Who says I don’t?”
Katenekwa rolled out of his arms, sat up and stretched. They’d finally fallen asleep on the sofa in the early hours of the morning. The garden was deserted except for the workers who were hard at work cleaning up the evidence of last night’s reverie—time to get back to reality then.
“We’re lucky it was a warm night. Imagine the headline if they’d found us frozen.”
“As if.” He, too, moved himself to an upright position. "Doesn’t it feel good to be spontaneous sometimes?"
He brushed a loose braid away from her eyes.
“Once in a while. Don’t make it a habit.” She leaned in for a peck on his lips, and he pulled her in for a kiss that made her want to somersault. She lay her head on his chest, wishing for nothing more than to stay there and forget the world. But she wasn’t built that way.
“I need to use the bathroom.” She pulled away and slipped the phone out of her jeans.
“Someone’s attached to her phone,” Wezi commented.
“Don’t be an ass. I’ll meet you at the car,” she announced and strode off.
She’d agreed to turn off her phone with reluctance, but she had to admit it had paid off. She’d enjoyed the night. Perhaps she’d turn it off more often. Barely a second after rebooting, it began to ping desperately. So much for turning her phone off more often. She stared at the ‘CALL ME’ texts popping up and the missed calls from Lillian. She was still debating whether to call Lillian back immediately or after using the bathroom when the phone rang.
“I’ve been trying to reach you all night,” were Lillian’s first words.
“Good morning to you as well. What’s going on?”
“Our headliner doesn’t want to do the show.” The desperation in Lillian’s voice was almost palpable.
Katenekwa had never seen or heard Lillian panic. She was the most put-together person Katenekwa had ever met. But here she was, seemingly exhaling for the first time in hours.
“Felicia?”
“She’s being quite the diva. Katenekwa, without Felicia, there is no show.”
And without the show, Katenekwa was ruined. But Media GQ would bounce back. They had deep pockets and many artists. She, on the other hand… “Can’t we have a different singer headline?”
“Are you nuts?! We’ve been advertising this for months. We can’t change a headliner. We need her back. We must find a way to get her back. I need you to work a miracle.”
“What do you mean I need to work a miracle? I organize. I don’t handle the talent.”
“And I don’t panic. But here we are.” Lillian inhaled loudly. “Look, she won’t talk to me, and frankly, you have the most to lose. You’ll figure it out.”
Katenekwa rubbed her temples to abate the oncoming headache, which wasn’t a symptom of the hangover she’d thought would be her only problem today. “Does Mike know?”
“God, no. I haven’t told him yet. She refuses to even hear of Mike. I don’t want him panicking just yet.”
“You’re panicking.”
“Well, someone has to.”
Katenekwa refused to let despair overwhelm her even though all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry. “Ok. I’ll figure something out. I’ll call you back when I do.”
Her mind was still reeling when she joined Wezi at the car. She slipped into the passenger's side and let him take the driver’s seat despite her desperate urge to keep her hands busy. She’d never dealt with artist bookings, and she had no idea how to handle the Felicia crisis. She hated it when she didn’t have a plan. She got all fidgety and panicky, and keeping her hands busy would help.
Unthinking, she slipped her hand down Wezi’s pants.
“Holy shit.” He gasped and let go of the wheel.
Encouraged by his response, she continued stroking him, fully aware that her own body was reacting. She yanked her hand out of his pants. Nope, she wasn’t the kind of girl who’d have parking lot sex.
Wezi gave her a look that was a mix between hunger and shock but a pleasant kind of shock. “Wow. You’re not what I expected.”
Katenekwa scratched her hair. “Sorry. I get weird when I’m stressed.”
“Maybe you should be stressed more often,” he whispered and kissed her lightly. “What’s got you wound up?”
He put the car in reverse.
“Felicia is refusing to perform.”
Katenekwa waited for a gasp or any sign of surprise from Wezi. “She must be having one of her episodes. God, that woman is a piece of work.”
Katenekwa kept her eyes on the road, unsure what emotions looking at him would incite within her. “Oh. How do you know her?”
“We used to date.”