The wheels in her head stopped turning. She watched as if having an out of body experience—she was there, but not quite. Pressure squeezed her heart, and darkness claimed her soul.
With the last of her strength, she willed herself to return to the car, wondering if she’d driven Wezi back into Felicia’s arms.
He re-emerged an eternity later with Felicia on his arm. They seemed to be on talking terms again, judging from the Afro-pop diva’s carefree laughter.
Katenekwa watched what was probably the most perfectly matched couple she’d ever set her eyes on walk toward her. Ken and Barbie made for each other.
She chased the despair away and stepped out of the car. “Hey. You seem to have made up.”
Felicia shrugged. “We just needed to have a grown-up talk. I’ll play at your festival. For Keystone.”
“Thanks. It would have meant the world to him.”
“Sure. He was special.” Felicia rubbed Wezi’s arm as if reluctant to let him drive away with another woman.
Sure. Like Katenekwa ever stood a chance with Felicia back in the picture.
The drive to her office took longer than she’d anticipated. She stared out the window. Wezi drove with his hands gripping the wheel as if for dear life. The space inside the car shrank with every uncomfortable breath they took.
Outside her office, Wezi spoke up. “Are you ever going to talk to me again?”
“We are talking, aren’t we? And thanks for helping with Felicia.”
“You’re welcome.” He hunched over the steering wheel, his tall frame filling up space. "And we aren’t talking. This isn’t us. We don’t fight.”
He turned to face her, worry ingrained in his features.
“Wezi, we changed our dynamic when you kissed me, and I let you. Things are never going back. We have to move forward.”
“I want to move forward,” he whispered with intent. Intent to take their relationship in a direction that was no longer an option.
“No. You want what’s already gone.”
“Kitty.” He paused and sought out her eyes. “I love you.”
Hot tears welled up in her eyes. “No. Please don’t do this to me, Wezi.”
“Do what? Confess that I’ve been dreaming about you from the moment we met? That I begin and end with you? That my heart aches for you? Kitty, I love you.” He reached for her hands and covered them in kisses.
She refused to let the tears come. The memory of Felicia on top of him, his arms around her, was still fresh. “No. I can’t do this, Wezi. I can’t.”
“Kitty.”
She pulled from his grasp and ran all the way to her office, where she locked herself in the storage closet and ignored Gwen’s pleas. Where she snubbed Wezi’s attempts to coax her out. Where she heard Gwen advise him to leave. She stayed there until she stopped trembling. Until the world around her stopped spinning.
She stepped out minutes later and feverishly threw herself into work, her irrational feelings neatly locked away behind a wall of determination. Gwen watched in silence, pretending to browse a wedding dress catalogue for one of their clients.
Tired of her staring, Katenekwa confessed. “We fought.”
“I see that. What about?”
“He said he loved me, and I ran.”
“Oh, sweetie, you are messed up.”
“I know.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Wezi is…. I just can’t with him. Besides, things are good with Josiah. I don’t want to ruin that.”
“So, you and Josiah are officially a thing now?”
Katenekwa nodded, unable to utter the deciding words. But why not? She’d obviously made up her mind about which man she preferred. All she had to do was say it out loud, make it real. Audibly choose Josiah.
She was glad for the knock at the door. But the sight of her visitor kicked her heart into her feet.
“Hi.” She forced a smile. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Yeah, you left your day planner in my car. Thought I’d drop it off. You’re here early.”
Katenekwa accepted the binder. She’d been so distracted by Wezi that she’d forgotten the most essential tool she had.
Lillian was right: nothing good could come out of her dating that guy. She stepped forward and embraced Josiah, holding on to his familiar and comfortable frame as if her life depended on it. For sure, her sanity did. She’d always known he was suitable for her. Still, her foolish heart had gone on an escapade, running after the heartbreaker of a bastard who said he loved her and used the same lips to pleasure another woman.
“Are you all right?” Josiah looked her at with concern in his eyes.
She nodded. “Just had a crisis. It’s all better now. Thanks for this.”
“Do you want to grab a bite and talk about it?”
“I might. Aren’t you busy with work, though?”
“I can take an early break. I’m here for you.” He placed a gentle kiss on her lips.
Josiah’s touch didn’t set her ablaze and drive her into desperation as Wezi’s did. Instead, it was warm and relaxing, like the warmth of the sun on a cold day. He was comfort, sanity, and peace. She needed this. She needed Josiah.
Josiah’s company left her less sore and bruised from Wezi’s betrayal. By the afternoon, she was feeling more like herself. Perhaps Lillian wasn’t just being insufferable about dating the talent.
Katenekwa bid Josiah farewell around three in the afternoon and swung by Media GQ for her daily debrief with Lillian. She was met with music as she approached the foyer. Odd. The studios and rehearsal spaces were soundproof, and she’d never heard the receptionist play music.
She stepped into the foyer to a sight she hadn’t prepared herself for: Wezi and Felicia, singing a duet as he strummed on Kitty, their voices in perfect harmony. Katenekwa quickly scanned the room. They’d attracted a sizeable audience - Mike, Lillian, some employees of Media GQ and a trio she was confident from media coverage were Felicia’s entourage. She walked in but hang back.
Katenekwa’s eyes stung at the melody of the song and the lyrics she’d committed to heart. How dare Wezi desecrate K’s memory by singing that song with Felicia? It was their song—her, K and Wezi. The one song K had never recorded. Wezi had no right to share it with someone else. She wished she could slip back out without being noticed but instead sidestepped to stand beside Lillian.
“Aren’t they so perfect together?” Lillian whispered in her ear as if reading her mind.
“They sure are.”
“I heard you saved the day with Felicia.” Mike leaned forward. “Lillian was right to hire you.”
“I told you she was a winner, didn’t I?” Lillian glowed with pride, and Katenekwa wished she could let it wash over her and release her from her pain.
“Now, I wonder if you can turn some of that magic into making that man sign with us. His voice—divine.”
Katenekwa spoke through the waves of heartbreak the sounds of Felicia and Wezi were sending her way. “No luck on that one. No one can make Wezi do what he doesn’t want to do.”
“Sounds like you,” Lillian said and joined the applause.
Wezi lifted his head, and their eyes met. Katenekwa refused to be drawn in by the cascade of emotions in those deep black eyes. When they shared a glance, all else faded. There was nothing like it in the world, and she loathed, yet adored, how her heart felt at home in the chaos of emotions that his presence induced. He gave her an uncomfortable smile, and needles stabbed the insides of her eyelids. Felicia drew his attention away from Katenekwa, and together, engaged the adoring audience with their duet.
Swarmed by fans. This was Wezi’s future, and he needed a leading lady who understood and loved the life.
Katenekwa hated to admit it, but Felicia was his perfect match—frying pans notwithstanding. Besides, Josiah was a good enough guy, and if Katenekwa didn’t feel any sparks, she could always find someone else. Just not the handsome singer who’d dashed her life into a million pieces.
“Are you going to sing a duet at the festival? Oh. That will be amazing,” a voice exclaimed.
Katenekwa steeled herself against the rush of emotions—the most prominent of all, betrayal.
“Again,” Mike said, squeezing her shoulder on his way out, “great job. You are on to great things. The sky’s the limit.”
But she’d already fallen to her death.
***
Katenekwa managed to get through her debrief without getting teary and exited the building with the haste of someone too busy for small talk. She feared what a normal conversation would do to her in this raw state.
She marched with purpose to her car and came face to face with Wezi.
He looked like he’d been waiting at her car forever.
Katenekwa debated going back into the building, but sooner or later, she’d have to face him. If not here, then at home.
“Riveting performance.” She forced a smile.
“You don’t have to pretend you liked it.”
“I did. You were perfect. I can’t imagine why you ever broke up. You’re a power couple.”
He looked at her, face strained. “Can we not fight about this right now?”
“When would be an appropriate time for you, your majesty?”
“Kitty.” His tone was plaintive.
Katenekwa released her bottled frustration. It wasn’t as if she could make things any worse between them. “No, Wezi. You came back into my life, and you brought chaos. I was happy. I had accepted losing K, and then you showed up and promised me the world but gave me hell. I’m hurting so much. I can’t even think.” She breathed against her shrinking rib cage.
He folded his arms across his chest and kicked the ground with his boot. “What would you have me do? Stop loving you?”
“Stop saying you love me. Please. Stop.” She squeezed her eyes shut as if sight was her enemy in this situation.
“And deny how I feel? How I’ve felt for so long?” He bared himself to her, and there was no denying the depth of emotion in his words, his being. He believed he loved her. He did. Oh, how cruel of him to do this to her!
“You don’t love me. You don’t. And maybe you think you do right now. But what happens when you get famous? Hmm? When you’re surrounded by adoring fans, who want to please you. Will you remember the sad little event planner who gave you her heart? I don’t want to hurt anymore, Wezi. Please.”
“You wouldn’t hurt if you stopped thinking about a future that will never be. Stay with me in this moment. In this time and space where you are the only woman for me. Can you do that?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Why?”
“Because I saw you kiss Felicia.”
He shut his eyes and took pause. “And I suppose you won’t believe me when I say she kissed me.”
“No. I can’t accept that.”
“Okay, then,” he said quietly. “I’ll move out. You don’t have to see me again.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. You can stay. I made a promise. I can handle you being around as long as you stop saying you love me.”
“But I can’t stick around you, knowing you want me to stop loving you. You’ll find the keys under the mat. Goodbye, Kitty.”
He walked out of her life, guitar on his back, and he left a canyon in her heart. But it was for the best. Wezi needed to exit her life for her to move forward.
Even if it hurt as though she’d taken a bullet to the chest.