I was enormous. There was no other way to describe me. Looking at the black and white dress I was trying to squeeze myself in, I was reminded of Kim Kardashian's unfortunate "killer whale" dress during her first pregnancy. This was not a flattering look for someone who resembled an enormous whale.
It was amazing to me how fast my body had changed. Three and a half months ago, I'd been a tiny thing, half-starved and rail-thin from everything I'd been through on this planet. Not saying that was a good look at all, but it was incredible that my body could go from that...to this, in that amount of time.
Maybe I was just forgetting what human pregnancies were like, but I couldn't recall any of the pregnant people that I'd seen on Earth ever getting this big. I turned to the side and examined my belly. Corran had assured me that there was only one baby in there, but I wasn't sure that he was telling the truth. This better not be one of those things that they decided was better that I found out at birth than before. We'd done an ultrasound, but the image had been suspiciously blurry. Somehow I didn't think that Vepar technology - which was always leagues ahead of Earth on everything else - would somehow be lacking in the ultrasound department.
I guess it didn't really matter, there was nothing more that I wanted from life than this baby, healthy and here in my arms.
After some prodding, I'd finally convinced the guys to get me information on a Vepar birth. Of course, there wasn't anything out there about how it would go for a human who was carrying a Vepar, but the information was still useful just the same. It at least explained some of the odd things that I'd found myself doing.
For example, I'd begun nesting. Now I knew that on Earth, it was called nesting when a human mother began cleaning her house, organizing, and putting the nursery together in preparation for the birth. But my version of nesting had been nothing like that.
I was literally creating a nest that consisted of every piece of clothing from my husbands, blankets, and pillows that the safe house had, along with all sorts of other things. The instinct to create this "nest" was so strong that at first, I hadn't even realized I was doing anything strange. That is until the guys asked where all their clothes had gone, and we realized that they all had ended up in the giant pile of things that I'd put together.
I'd started hoarding snacks as well. I would get sealed packages of snacks from the blessed Vepar machine in the kitchen that gave you whatever food you wanted, and I would hide the snacks in various places in my nest. Apparently, my subconscious was very worried about being hungry while giving birth.
I'd also made Corran get rid of the feature that allowed you to see outside. I needed my nest to be dark and cozy. I had the guys bring in pieces of furniture to put around the bed so that the room didn't seem as big, since my limited supply of blankets and pillows limited how large the nest could get.
I spent most of my time in the nest at this point, adding little things here and there. This safe house also had the machine that could make you clothes, and I'd been having fun getting it to create little baby outfits. Since we'd decided right before Corran did the ultrasound that we weren't going to find out the baby's sex until he or she was born, I was having the machine create clothes for both genders. Those found their way into the nest as well.
I'd seen the guys exchanging amused glances, but I didn't care. Besides, the information that Corran had given me said this was totally normal. I'd checked a few times to confirm that, since I felt like I'd been going crazy.
There were some other odd things that I knew were not normal for a human pregnancy. For example, besides the ever-present feel of the baby pummeling the hell out of my insides, every once in a while, I would feel something sharper jab into me. The first time that it had happened, I'd shrieked, sending the guys hurtling into the room. I'd thought that it was just a sharp kick until it happened again, and I realized that there was no way that was a foot unless that foot had a sharp set of claws attached to it…
Luckily, the book assured me that my baby was not going to be born with claws. But it would most likely be born with horns...and maybe a tail. Vepar didn't learn to hide those traits until they were at least ten years old. At first, I'd been a little disoriented about the extras my baby would come with, but then I'd thought of Hasso's sweet child, and it no longer scared me. Horns or not, I was going to love the hell out of this baby and think it was the cutest thing on Veon.
Another strange thing, I could actually hear the baby inside of me. And I didn't mean that I could hear its heartbeat with a stethoscope. I could actually hear the baby, clear as day, every time it cooed, gurgled, and cried inside of me. It was like my stomach had been stretched so thin that there was nothing in between the baby and me but skin.
Corran assured me this was not the case, and the baby information confirmed that, but it was exceptionally strange to be trying to have sex with one of your husbands and for the baby to begin crying.
I guess it was good preparation for after the birth.
Most of the rest of my symptoms were pretty normal for humans. I wanted to eat everything in sight, but the baby had gotten so big that I could only eat a few bites at a time before having to take a break. Of course, then I would be hungry again half an hour later. Keeping myself fed was a full-time job.
My swelling was also terrible. My feet could barely fit into shoes since my legs and ankles were so large so I spent most of the time barefoot. Since walking on cankles wasn't the most fun, and I was beyond tired anyway, I spent most of my time curled up in my nest, reading up on the baby. Whenever I wasn't in my nest I was either eating, cleaning, or setting up for the baby, even though I knew we would have to leave the safe house soon after the baby's birth.
The thought of leaving our little home filled me with dread. Alone in the middle of nowhere, it was hard to remember how terrible the rest of Veon actually was. The temptation was enormous for me to just forget about all the problems that existed out there. But I knew we couldn't do that. I wanted a world where my child would be safe. And that wouldn't happen without us, that much was clear based on the news that continued to stream in every day.
"Owwww," I all of a sudden hissed as a contraction hit me. I'd been having Braxton Hicks the last two months, but over the last week, the contractions had been getting heavier and heavier. Corran hadn't needed to tell me that it was almost time for the baby to get here. My body was making that part clear.
I'd just caught my breath when another contraction hit. There'd barely been a couple of minutes between the two of them, and my heart began to race.
Was today going to be the day?
Panic coursed through me. I couldn't be a mom, especially a mom of an alien baby. I didn't know the first thing about motherhood. I was going to mess everything up. And how was I going to keep my baby safe with everything going on? Its parents were the most wanted beings on Veon.
"Fuckkkk," I all but screamed as another contraction hit, cutting off the doomsday road I'd been heading down.
Derrial popped his head into the room, a concerned look on his face.
"Everything alright, love?"
"Nooo. Everything is not alright. I think the baby is coming," I wailed as I struggled to get off my nest. I had to pee and eat and make sure the baby's room was ready.
"The baby's coming...today?" Derrial asked in a panic.
I screamed as another contraction hit me. Weren't these supposed to build in intensity? How was I possibly going to survive if they were already this bad? Corran had better have figured out the right dose of epidural to give me because....fuckkkkkk.
My knees buckled from the pain, and Derrial barely made it in time to catch me.
"I'm not ready,” I sobbed.
"Let's get you back in bed, baby," he soothed. He pressed his comm. “Get in here," he barked into it before sweeping me into his arms and walking me to the bed.
He had just set me down right in front of my nest when I felt something wet and warm trickling down my leg.
We both stared at the floor in astonishment as a small puddle collected under me. "Did I just pee?" I asked in horror. I needed to go to the bathroom but…
"Your water just broke," said Corran as he rushed in. "Clean that up," he barked at Derrial before gathering me into his arms and helping me into the nest. "Bring me some towels," he ordered Thane, who'd just rushed in as well.
"Ahhhhhh," I yelled out as another contraction hit. Thane handed Corran a wet towel and a dry towel, and Corran wiped me down, helping me out of my undergarments so I was just in the comfortable nightgown type clothing that the machine had created for me earlier that morning.
"Spread your legs, I'm going to check you," he commanded me gently, and I took a deep breath before spreading my legs wide. Corran inserted a finger to check me, and I flinched from the pain. "Your cervix is still as tight as a rock," he explained. "And you're only dilated to a one. It's going to be a while yet."
"How is it hurting this bad at a one?" I sobbed as another contraction ripped through me. I knew I had an above-average pain tolerance so this wasn't about me being a wimp.
"We don't have anything to compare your symptoms to, Ella. You're the first..."
"I know I'm the first," I screamed as tears rushed down my face. I knew I was out of control...but this seriously hurt. It was like my insides were being forcibly ripped apart. "Is there anything you can give me?" I whimpered, not sure how I was going to make it.
Corran was already shaking his head though. "If I give you anything for the pain right now it could delay the labor, basically freezing you at this point which could be dangerous for you and the baby. We're going to have to wait until you're at least at five before we can do it."
Derrial had settled in beside me and was holding my hand while I cried. Thane was pacing behind Corran as he ran his hands frustratedly through his hair.
The next hours were literal hell. I'd tried to imagine what labor was like, tried to remember what people I'd talked to back on Earth had mentioned about it, but nothing could have prepared me for this. I'd been crying the entire time, unable to stop since the contractions were coming in one after the other, barely giving me a breath to recover before the next one hit.
The worst thing was, in all of that time, I had only progressed to a four.
I started to sob harder at the news, and Derrial started yelling at Corran that there had to be something they could do.
"I'm going to start the epidural. It's a little different process on Veon, but it’s still a needle in your spine," he explained, and I nodded gratefully, up for anything if it could mean that there would soon be relief.
I remembered that one of my mom's friends had said she loved delivery day. She and her husband got a break from her other kids, she would get the epidural early, and then they would spend the day watching movies and reading as she progressed.
"Loving" delivery day was probably the last thing I would say at this moment. Thane had tried to put up a movie for me at one point, trying to help me take a mind off what was happening, but after I threw one of the books I'd hid in my nest at the screen when the female actress looked a little too pretty and skinny for my current pregnant self to take, we'd all quickly decided that movies weren't going to work.
Derrial helped me set up as I tried to breathe through the almost constant pain. Corran cleared off the area with the cleansing solution and then he picked up a shot looking object that seemed closer in size to a sword than any shot needle I'd seen on Earth.
"What the hell is that?" Thane asked in horror. I was right there with him, trying to decide if I really could live through the pain I was dealing with because that thing was going to slice through my spinal cord.
"I know it looks a little menacing, but you will barely feel anything after the skin numbing solution kicks in," he explained as he applied said solution with his other hand.
"There's no way that can go in me," I squeaked, and Corran moved it out of my eyesight. Thane could still see the needle from his vantage point and he looked like he was about to pass out.
"Take a deep breath," he said. "You'll be thanking me for this later."
I nodded, tears squeezing out of my eyes as I took my deep breath right after a contraction had stopped.
Sure enough, somehow I only felt a small pinch as the needle went in. Corran talked me through the whole process and within five minutes, my contractions felt like light period cramps instead of the soul-shattering contractions they'd been prior.
My whole body shook as I laid back down in my nest. The adrenaline rush from hours of extreme pain was hard to recover from and Corran frowned as he examined my vitals. "Your heart rate is a little low," he muttered as he concentrated on listening to my chest.
"How is that possible?" I whispered, feeling light-headed. "It feels like my heart is going a million miles a minute."
"How are you feeling?"
"There's barely any pain...but - " My voice broke off as my lungs seemed to close up. It was hard to breathe and I felt so freaking tired.
"Ella!" Corran yelled sharply. "Stay awake!"
"She's having a reaction to the epidural," he explained as I faintly saw him reach to unhook the device in my back from the medicine that had been flowing into it. He then grabbed another bag of fluid and attached it to my IV.
A few minutes later and the fuzziness that had built up in my head, and the pressure in my chest...they both eased, and I was able to start breathing again.
Unfortunately, with those changes came the return of my contractions.
"You're going to have to do this unmedicated, baby," Corran explained softly. "We can't risk that reaction happening again."
I cried as I nodded. There was no other choice, and screaming and protesting wasn’t going to change the fact.
Pain. That's all I was conscious of for the next few hours. Hours that seemed like days. Everything was pain.
I was only faintly aware of the others' presence in the room. All of my concentration was on surviving the next contraction. I'd begun to progress, thank heavens. So I lived for the checks that would get me closer and closer to it all being over.
"It's time to push," Corran announced triumphantly and I mustered a small smile right before I almost broke Derrial's hand that I was holding as another contraction rolled through.
Corran pressed a button, and a small table suddenly rose up from the ground at the bottom of my nest. Derrial and Thane helped me scoot so that I was right up against it.
"Ok, I want you to take a deep breath and then push as hard as you can," Corran explained and I nodded hesitantly. It hit me once again that I was about to meet my baby. Everything had hurt so much that I hadn't really been able to think about it much.
Taking my deep breath, I began to push. And I pushed, and I pushed, and I pushed.
And the baby didn't budge.
"Fuck," Corran muttered as he brought up the complicated ultrasound type system to the side of my nest and held it over my stomach.
"What?" Thane asked anxiously. He hadn't stopped looking nauseous.
"The horns are preventing the baby from coming out," he said quietly. "Ella's vagina doesn't have quite the stretching capability as a Vepar mother's would to accommodate them."
"The horns?" I gasped out. "Our baby is stuck inside me because of its horns?"
Corran nodded, not making eye contact with me. They thought I was freaked out because our baby had horns, but I was actually way more freaked out over the fact that the baby was stuck inside of me because of the horns."
Corran began gathering supplies. "What are we going to do?" I groaned as another contraction hit. They were basically constant now, maybe fifteen seconds in between each one.
"I'm going to perform a cesarean," he said calmly, despite the fact that I knew Corran had never done one before.
Thane looked like he was about to pass out, and Derrial's hand was probably broken from me holding onto it so tightly.
"Is that really necessary?" I asked, knowing it was a stupid question.
Corran stopped what he was doing and knelt next to me. "Ella, you are doing so well. And I know it hurts, and I know you're scared. But we're about to meet our little baby. And then all of this is just going to be a faint memory. Because it's going to be here." There were little tears gathering in his eyes at his little speech. Hell, everyone had tears in their eyes at his little speech.
I nodded determinedly, until he brought another bag to my IV. "What's that for?"
"I can't just use an epidural for this because of your reaction. I'm going to have to knock you out. But luckily, our drugs are much more concise than you’re used to and I'll be able to wake you up as soon as you're sewn up."
I cringed at the thought of being knocked out with my insides splayed out, but a quick glance at the heart rate monitor showed that the baby's heart rate was showing it was starting to be stressed.
No sooner had I said, "Ok," then everything faded to black.
The sound of a baby crying was the first thing I heard when I woke up. It took me a minute to open my eyes, but when I did, everything hit me at once. That was my baby I was hearing.
"You did so good, love. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," whispered Corran as he handed her to me.
A girl. We had a girl. I started sobbing as I examined our baby who was wriggling in my arms. She'd stopped crying as soon as he laid her in my arms. She had dark hair, so dark it was almost black, and almond-shaped, hazel eyes that looked the same shade as Corran's. I knew that human babies were usually all born with blue eyes, but Vepar babies must come out with their eye color already in place because the proof was right in front of me. She had bow-shaped lips and a tiny nose. And...she had two tiny white horns.
She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and I immediately burst into tears as I looked at her.
Looking up at my men who were all gathered around me, they were all openly sobbing as well. My heart felt like it had expanded in size by a million somehow. I'd never known I could love something so much, so immediately.
She let out a little cry that sounded like a dove cooing and we all laughed through our tears. "She's probably hungry, my darling," said Corran in a choked voice, and he helped me take off my top so that I could bring her to my breast.
To my surprise, she immediately latched and started sucking, her eyes closed and her tiny fist clenched on top of my breast.
I had been wrong before at feeling like home. We'd always been missing something before this. Only now, with her, were we truly complete, were we truly home.
"I'm so proud of you, my pet," Thane cooed and pressed a kiss against my forehead.
I smiled tremulously at him.
"Thank you for giving us a family," added Derrial, blinking furiously as he tried to control his emotions.
"I love you," added Corran.
Despite all the pain and agony, this was the best day of my life.
We'd been parents for a few days now. We'd all instantly agreed that we should name her Rory, short for Aurora, after my mother's name. We were all exhausted, but the happiest we'd ever been. I spent every second in my nest with Rory, while the guys took turns in the room with me while the others would work on the antidote and keep up to date with what was going on around us.
Despite my fears that I wouldn't be able to be a mother, I realized quickly that most of being a mother was just loving your baby. She kept us awake most of the night, and even with the fancy Vepar diaper technology, I was pooped on at least twice a day. And sometimes I cried when she refused to latch. And I still just loved every second of it.
Vepar babies advanced faster than human babies, but because Rory was half-human, she developed at a speed more advanced than a human, but less advanced than a Vepar baby. It was fascinating to see her change almost every day though. She smiled constantly. And because of how advanced she was, you couldn't even say it was gas. Everything the guys did was funny to her, but she was a momma's girl through and through. She liked to be holding on to some part of me at all times and her upper lip would quiver if I left the room for even a minute. I didn't mind it one bit. She laughed at two weeks old, and I wanted to bottle up the sound and keep it forever. It sounded like a tinkling of bells, very different from a human laugh. And it was the most amazing thing I'd ever heard.
We were in heaven.
A couple of weeks passed like this and as much as I tried to block it out, I knew that we had stayed away for about as long as we possibly could. The guys were getting more and more concerned with what was going on, and with what the reports were saying, it wouldn't be too long anyway before the trouble out there would find our safe house.
We had no other choice.
Our babymoon was about to end.