THE MAGIC SIX
We set out in this book partly to reveal the therapeutic process we take people through on a F**k It Week. We’ve elaborated and deeply investigated that process here. And on our weeks we tend to work around a Six-part Magic F**k It process. In fact, we elaborated it so much that we realized it would be nice to sum it up and distill it again for you as a new F**kiteer. And we’ve done so in the ‘secret section’ – i.e., it’s not visible on the Contents pages. We’ve even taken off the page numbers; which will make it a bugger1 to refer back to. It also makes it a bugger for us when we sign books, because we normally turn randomly to a page, like taking a Tarot card, and offer that as our gift to the person. It’s often spot on.
(Digressing for a moment about the books we write. If you mention a particular section or story to me and I look confused, it’s because I don’t remember writing it, sometimes because I wrote it a while back, other times because I’m just plain forgetful. I had two people in the last week say to me, ‘I loved F**k It, the only bit I struggled with was when you suggest that it’s fine to smoke.’ Fine to smoke? What? I said that. Why would I say that? I don’t smoke. It’s clearly dangerous to smoke – for me and for others around me. Why would I say it’s fine to smoke? Is there someone on the editorial team who’s secretly funded by a tobacco giant, who slips in positive references to smoking on the sly? Did she think ‘Aha, F**k It is the perfect medium for my pro-smoking message. It’s been so tough with all these spiritual and healing books getting in a mention, but Parkin will love it, yeah, say F**k It and smoke yourself to death, they’ll love it.’
Well, I just looked it up. I wrote, under the chapter Say F**k It to Illness and Disease:
‘Some people get so tired and bored of trying everything and spending lots of money and investing so much energy that they simply give up. They say one big F**k It and finally give up wanting to be whole and well and perfect. They’re still feeling pain and discomfort like they always did and they just say F**k It and give in to it. Nothing makes any difference anyway, so why should they go through the added pain of hoping it’s going to go away?
They give in fully to their condition. They surrender completely to their pain. They give up wanting to be any different to how they are, just as they are, now. They probably start eating things they haven’t eaten for a while, they may start drinking and smoking again. What they certainly do is RELAX. The one thing you’ll always do when you really say F**k It is relax.’
Blast. And what I meant, of course, was that the relaxing and giving up has surprising effects, because you don’t care so much, even in ways that look so unhealthy.
I didn’t mean smoking is good. It’s probably better if you don’t smoke, don’t do drugs, don’t consciously harm other people, don’t fart in lifts, don’t say you don’t like food that’s been cooked for you by other people, and don’t do a garlic burp in someone’s face.
Now, if you come to me in five years’ time and say, ‘John, I loved F**k It Therapy, the only bit I struggled with was when you say it’s wrong to fart in lifts, because I’m chronically flatulent and it’s not a voluntary thing, it just happens, like, all the time, and, rather than sticking an orthopedic cork up my bottom, I prefer to say F**k It and let it go, and relax around it,’ I’ll do a garlic burp in your face. In fact, I’ll carry some garlic in my pocket especially for signings. And if you do mention something that hasn’t quite worked for you, I’ll pause, reach for the garlic, chew on a bit, gargle some sparkling water, then burp on you.)
This is the Bermuda Triangle of F**k It Therapy. Enter this magic, focused, and distilled area at your peril. The distilled magic techniques are so powerful that you certainly won’t exit the section the same person. You might not exit at all. Or if you do, you’ll come back in the pristine uniform of a World War II bomber pilot.
This may well become the most thumbed bit of the book for you.
And, talking of thumbs, the Magic Six is so easy to remember you can almost count it on one hand. In fact, we had one guest who was so keen to be able to count off the Magic Six on one hand that she had surgery in which one finger was taken off her left hand and then sewn on to her right hand. Where did she put it, you’re wondering, aren’t you? Good question. She had it sewn right in-between her index and ring fingers. To be honest, as well as the pain and the expense, I don’t personally think it was worth it. It now plays havoc with her ability to identify which one is her ‘ring’ finger. Is it the finger that was previously her ring finger? Or is it this additional finger, which now sits there next to the index finger? I don’t know whether she’ll ever figure it out.
1 Tricky or difficult to pin down.
Open to new possibilities. Open to things changing. Open to life panning out in a way you would never have expected.
Relax your body. Relax your mind. Take some deep breaths and feel the tension dissolving as you breathe out very slowly. Consciously relax every part of your body.
Just getting perspective is a shift in perspective. See that things you worry about don’t matter so much in the grand scheme of things.
Become conscious of what’s going on for you at every level and really feel it, without judging it and without ignoring it.
Trust what you feel when you tune in, or that the messages you get when you tune in (e.g., ‘I’m tired’) are valuable and true. Pay attention to them like you would to the words of a legendary guru.
Follow whatever it is that feels right once you’ve tuned in. If you trust that movement or feeling enough, you will feel it and express it fully in your life.
Start by using the Magic Six in your daily practice. You can use the guide to Qigong in Energize It to get into how the qi feels. Then really start to play with Spontaneous Qigong.
Using the Magic Six, it goes something like this. Put some music on and stand still.
Open to the possibility that amazing things might happen in the next 20 minutes, possibly something that could make a dramatic difference to your life.
Relax your whole body, using your breath if need be.
Shift perspective when you realize that you’re tapping into something that you don’t fully understand here, that life and healing might well not work in the ways that you thought or believed.
Tune in to what’s going on for you. Do so by asking, ‘What do I feel like doing?’
Trust that the messages you get back (e.g., ‘Shake your arm about’) are valuable.
Follow that message – go ahead and do what it tells you (e.g., shake your arm about).
Go through that process until you don’t have to think about it anymore in your practice: you’ll just be standing, then following the qi in the end.
You’ll see soon enough the magic of this practice.
And, if you do continue to practice like this, watch as the magic spreads out into your life. Use the Magic Six steps consciously if you wish. But it will soon start to happen naturally (though there’s likely to be the Magic Six process present in everything that you do, underneath).
We explore how to live like this in Life On the Outside – Being Free (Living the F**k It Life) in Part VIII, Being free and arriving in a town where you forget what you came for.