“I don't understand why you can't tell me what the hell is going on.” Brady pounded his fist on the counter when he said “hell.”
The nurse behind the counter arched both of her eyebrows. “You are not family. We can't release medical information without permission. Which you were already told. Now, take a seat or I will call security.”
Julia rested a hand on Brady's forearm. “C'mon. Let's sit down.” She smiled passively at the nurse and her touch on Brady's arm turned into a not so gentle pull in the opposite direction.
He gave in and sat down beside her on the waiting room sofa.
“I know you're scared,” Julia started. “But getting kicked out won't help Lo.”
Brady turned to her, the stark reality of what he was facing threatened to cripple him. “I don't know what's going on. Julia, I don't even know if she's alive.”
Saying the words out loud ripped a hole through the middle of him. No, she had to be alive. He'd have felt it if she were gone. Because his heart would have stopped beating.
Her limp body in Scotch's arms flashed through his mind again and he closed his eyes against the sight , but it didn't help.
Julia sucked in a shaky breath. “I know.” Her eyes gave away her own worry.
It had been hours. Agonizing, tortuous hours.
Lo had been medevac'd to Sydney. The last Brady saw her, she had been strapped to a board and was being unloaded from the airbus. She hadn't regained consciousness. And they wouldn't let him follow them into the hospital.
He'd been trying to get any kind of an update since he'd been there, but no one would tell him anything because he wasn't family. But what did they know? He was her family more so than the people she shared blood with.
“Where's Steve?” Brady asked, looking around at the faces of Scotch and Nadia. They had all taken a helicopter from the island.
“Um, bathroom, I think,” Nadia said, looking around with a frown.
Steve, his face freshly washed and red, strode into the waiting room, looked around at the serious faces and went straight to the nurses' station. “I need information on Halo Fredericks' condition.”
The nurse rolled her eyes. “Unless you're family—”
“I'm her brother.”
Brady's shoulders stiffened at the lie.
The nurse eyed Steve suspiciously.
“Would you like a DNA sample?” Steve asked, all trace of his joking and jovial demeanor absent. It had been replaced with a cold, sarcastic edge, his face a stony mask of resolve.
Brady looked at his friend, really looked at him. He wasn't okay with this either. But Lo did that. She sucked people into her warm wind and they were happy to follow her to the next destination.
The nurse sighed. “I'll find out what I can and let you know.”
“Appreciate it,” Steve said, pulling out his phone.
“Brother?” Julia asked as Steve joined them.
He glanced up from his phone, his eyes rimmed in red. “We need to get a hold of her parents if we can. Does anyone have any contact information on them?”
“Maybe Tessa?” Brady guessed.
It was the not knowing. Not having any idea if she was okay that was really getting to him. The last image he had of her, she had been strapped to a board and covered in bloody scrapes from being raked over the reef.
She was so... still.
No breeze, a flat wave, the color gray.
Things that had never been used to describe her before and now they did.
A doctor in scrubs came out into the waiting area and approached them.
“Halo Fredericks family?” he asked.
“Yes,” Steve answered confidently.
The doctor hesitated, but it was obvious he didn't want to have to make them wait any longer. “You might want to sit down.”
The bottom of Brady's stomach fell out and the waiting room quieted into an ominous silence.
The doctor took a deep, slow breath.
“It appears she suffered a high velocity impact to her head which caused severe spinal injury and rendered her unconscious. It's difficult to say how long she was without oxygen, but the longer it was, the more likely she will suffer some brain damage. The spinal injury requires surgery... which she's being prepped for now.”
Brady licked his dry lips. “Who's doing the surgery?”
The doctor tilted his head to the side. “Philip Pho. He's a leading neurosurgeon—”
“I know who he is,” Brady interrupted.
The doctor cleared his throat and his voice gentled. “He's one of the best in the world...”
Brady nodded. “I know. He's a colleague of my mom.”
The doctor straightened. “Who's your mom?”
“Doctor Cassandra Samson.”
“Oh.” The doctor's reverence was hard to miss. “She's actually the best.”
Brady pressed his lips together and leaned back. Still unable to look up from his stare down of the horrible hospital carpet.
“How long?” Julia asked when it became clear Brady was done.
“A few hours.” The doctor stood back up. “I'll let you know as soon as I have something definite. When you do go into to see her, you should be aware sixty percent of her body is covered in superficial reef burns. Barring infection, she should recover with minimal scarring. But her appearance may be startling at first.”
Julia thanked him and the doctor left again. Leaving the group to their own thoughts and fears.
Brady stood up and pulled his phone from his pocket. He left the hospital and went outside. The phone rang three times before she picked up.
“Brady? Is everything all right?”
The sound of his mom's voice finally pushed Brady over the edge and his sinuses burned. “No, mom. Everything is very, very wrong.”
“What's happened?”
Brady told her everything. From meeting Lo at the wedding reception to their work with Soaring Bird, to falling in love, to the accident.
“You have to come here, mom,” Brady said firmly. “You have to come to Sydney right now and save her.”
“Oh, sweetie,” she breathed. “Doctor Pho is amazing. She's in excellent hands.”
“But your hands are better,” he argued. “Please.” His voice broke and he stopped his pacing to rest his forehead against the brick of the building.
“Please. You have to save her.”
The beeping of the monitors wad the only thing keeping Brady grounded to reality. Everything else about this day felt false. A nightmare he couldn't wake up from.
He had turned off the light above her bed because he knew she liked to sleep in the dark. The nurses weren't happy with him, but they didn't fight it. He had pulled back the curtains to let in the moonlight.
His mom hadn't come. Dr. Pho did the surgery. And now they had to wait.
One thing his mom did do, was talk to Pho. She gave as much information as she could to Brady. He thought having the details would help. But nothing did. Nothing helped.
Brady engulfed her small in hand in both of his and pressed her knuckles to his lips.
“I hope you know you're not alone. I'm here with you. No matter what happens, I'm gonna be right here.” He turned her hand over in his and studied them. She was always looking at his hands in reverence, like she wanted to memorize them. He traced the small scar along her thumb and followed it with a kiss. The promise he made to her in Nicaragua came back.
“I'm gonna hold on. Forever. I'm not gonna let you go. And we'll get through this. I'll get you tacos and we'll dance. How hard could it be, really? To stay with someone like you... Not hard at all.”
The range of scenarios kept on the constant rotation through his mind. Everything from her being fine, to her legs not working, to her mind not returning, to her never waking up again. He confronted every possibility in his mind and planned his actions just in case.
Everything single one resulted in him by her side, with minimal changes in the details of their lives.
Nothing could take him away from her.
Even if she didn't survive this night. A part of him would go with her to the next life. His body might remain as an empty shell. But he was hers. Beginning to end.
He never imagined the end might possibly come so soon.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” he asked, swallowing the tightness in his throat. “You promised you would tell me later. I'm gonna hold you to that.”
The only reply was the sound of the ventilator as it kept his soul mate alive.
Humans were such delicate creatures. Easily formed and easily broken.
“You were gorgeous out there today. Perfect miracle.” His throat grew tight again. “My miracle.” His thumb softly stroked the back of her hand. “Show me another miracle, Lo. We have plans to make, you and I. I can't make them without you.”
Julia knocked softly at the door, a look on her face he couldn't identify. What he did notice were the tear tracks down her face. He frowned at her and she stepped into the room, her eyes going to Lo and more tears fell.
“What's going on, Jules?” he asked.
She swallowed hard, trying to regain her stiff upper lip.
“Lo wrote you a blog.”
When Brady simply stared at her, she handed him her phone.
“It went live about an hour ago. She must have had it scheduled.”
Brady took the phone, a slight tremble in his hand. He kept hold of Lo with his other as he read her words.
Live, Love, Tacos
The Blog of Lo Fredericks
Cloudbreak
I will not love you quietly.
I have loved people in secret too long. I have been silent in my affection and I never saw anything wrong with it.
But I cannot love you quietly.
I will not admire you from afar and keep my hopes for our future a secret. I will not temper my feelings for you in an effort to keep my expectations low.
I will love you the way you deserve.
I will love you with all the force of life I have. From the start of my breath to the words it makes.
Please stay with me. Even when it seems hard or impossible. I've never asked anyone to stay before, because I never thought I was worth staying for. And then there was you. In all your Bradyness, like a crack of thunder disrupting the monotony of my simple life.
I want to keep the peace you bring to my loud thoughts. I want you stay in my space, invading my life in new and unexpected ways.
So, stay.
If you were to leave, it would break my heart. And I won't be able to keep quiet. I will make a big deal out of my broken heart. For losing you would be the kind of loss no one recovers from. I will give it the credit it deserves, that it has earned.
I could never be the silent sufferer with silent tears and dignified poise.
Not with you.
For you are more than that.
We are more than that.
I intend to make it difficult for you to go. I plan on tangling myself into your heart and life so deeply that you will have to cut parts of yourself out in order to remove me. And I won't apologize for it.
I will love you with a boldness I've reserved for only you. Because I believe my heart knew you were out there. It's been preparing for you for forever.
You're it for me. The perfect break, the wildest ride, the most beautiful place to land.
Never before has my soul been so nourished, so exposed, so cherished.
I know life is hard. I know we have challenges ahead. But I look forward to facing them with you.
Teammates to the end.