“KOMM!” CASS COMMANDED Hero out of his pen at the canine center. She had made friends with him over the past couple of weeks so she had no trouble encouraging him to come to her. As he exited the cage she clipped on the leash. “Fuss.” Hero walked beside her to Lyle’s car.
He opened the door and Cass said, “Komm,” and Hero jumped into the backseat.
Less than a minute later they were on their way into Cluchlochry.
Cass clutched her hands in her lap. It hadn’t been long since she’d had an assignment and worked with a dog, yet it seemed like years. She was a bundle of nerves. What if she broke down? What if they couldn’t find the girl? What if…? All that fear and sadness that had held her heart in a vise had returned. If Rufus was here she’d have no doubts about locating the girl but she didn’t know Hero well or his abilities. Still, she had to try.
Lyle drove faster than the speed limit, but every minute mattered. Hero sat calmly in the backseat of the car. Lyle pulled into a parking space close to the market cross. With the market over for the day, there were plenty available.
The policeman who had come to Lyle’s cottage was waiting. As soon as they joined him, he handed Lyle a small orange jacket. “I understand she was wearing this earlier today.”
“So she has no coat on?” Lyle asked, concern lacing his words.
Cass shivered as much from the cold as from her fear for the little girl.
The officer’s face was grim as he said, “From what her parents tell me, she’s wearing a jumper, jeans and boots. We don’t know if she still has gloves on or a hat, or anything like that.”
“Then we need to worry about exposure as well.” Cass’s words were flat and to the point.
“I’ll get a thermal blanket and my medical bag out of the car.” Lyle wasted no time in doing so.
“May I see the jacket?” Cass reached out her hand.
The policeman handed it to her and she knelt so that Hero could get a good sniff of the clothing.
Lyle returned with a satchel on his hip, the strap across his chest. He looked at her. “Ready?”
“Yes. You have a blanket?”
He patted the satchel and clicked on a large torch.
She gave the command to find. “Voran.”
Hero started off across the village square with his nose close to the ground. Cass followed and Lyle was close behind.
Hero led them down a side street and out into a lane. Cass remained encouraged because he acted as if he had located a scent.
Her hand stayed on the leash as they continued walking at a brisk pace. Well outside the village Hero headed off the road and onto a path.
“It looks like he’s taking us to the ruins,” Lyle said, walking close beside her.
Her leg began to burn as the gradient grew steeper. She would push through it; she had no choice. When she faltered, Lyle supported her with a hand on her forearm. “Let me take the lead. I know this path.”
“Okay. I’ll let Hero go off leash.” She unclipped the dog and he moved ahead of them.
Lyle took her hand and they worked their way up the path. It became more difficult to maneuver the closer to the Heatherglen Keep ruins they climbed.
Occasionally Hero would stop and look back at them. He acted impatient for them to join him. He didn’t have the same trouble with the steep terrain. Soon Cass’s leg went from aching to really hurting but she wouldn’t let on. She was the expert in this work. A little girl’s life depended on her.
Now that the sun had gone down it was pitch black. There was no natural light from the moon. Making matters worse was the fact that clouds were rolling in. It would snow tonight.
When—if—they found the girl she could very well be hypothermic. She would need medical attention immediately. Could they find her soon enough?
Cass stumbled and Lyle caught her before she went down.
“Do you need to stop?” His concerned look touched her heart.
She shook her head. “No. We have to find her.”
For a second he looked as if he were going to argue. “I don’t need two patients.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Cass trudged forward.
Lyle pursed his lips and nodded, then joined her.
Not soon enough for Cass they made it to the ruins. In the daylight she had no doubt the area was interesting but in the dark it had an eerie feel to it. Hero sniffed around, making a circle. Finally he stood beside a couple of huge stones and barked.
“Have you found something?” Cass said to the dog as she made her way toward him, with Lyle shining the flashlight that direction. “Setzen.”
The dog sat.
She and Lyle were looking into a hole.
“This was the dungeon at one time,” Lyle murmured.
“Looks about as much fun now. Do you see anything?” Cass searched while being careful not to lean over too far.
Lyle went down on this belly. He directed the light straight down.
“There she is,” Cass cried. A small body lay curled on the ground, not moving.
She stepped closer and Lyle said, “Cass, careful! Don’t fall in.”
“How’re we going to get her out?” Cass was already looking for things they could use.
“We’ll call for help.” Lyle pulled out his phone. “Damn, I don’t have a signal. One of us will have to go for help. But right now we’re going to have to see to her. Minutes could mean the difference between life and death.”
“We’re going to have to get down to her somehow.” Cass paused, panic filling her. The girl just couldn’t die.
“I’ll climb down.” Lyle was already in the process of removing his bag.
“It looks too slick to do that. You’ll have to lower me. I’m the lighter of the two of us. We can use the strap on your bag. It might not be long enough, but it’ll get me close enough to drop the rest of the way.”
“What about your leg? It might not hold up under that kind of pressure.” Everything in Lyle’s voice said that he wasn’t going to agree to her plan.
Cass faced him. “That’s just a chance I’ll have to take. You know the path back better than me. The girl needs help now. I’m not going to argue about it anymore.”
The determination in her voice must have got through to Lyle because he started unclipping the strap from his bag. With it removed, he pushed the extender so that the strap was as long as possible. “You ready?”
Cass took an end of the strap, wrapping it around her hand. “I am.”
They both moved to the side of the hole. Lyle shined the light into the hole.
“There’s still no movement.” Cass’s chest tightened. They had to get to her soon. Was she gone already?
Lyle dropped the flashlight into the hole giving them some light to work with. He then wrapped the strap around his hand just as Cass had done. She lay on her belly and crawled backward, going feet first into the hole. Lyle went to his knees, holding her under her arms as she slipped over the side.
“Feel for footholds.” His voice was tight from the effort of holding her.
She did as Lyle instructed and located one. It was near the foot of her injured leg. She couldn’t let the pain that shot through her slow her progress. She had to keep moving. When she was completely over the side she hung onto the strap as Lyle lowered her. She went further into the dark abyss. Thinking she had gone as far as possible, there was a sudden jerk and she was lowered further. Lyle must be on his stomach with his arms extended. She could only imagine the strain holding her was putting on his shoulder muscles. Guessing she was only a few feet from the ground, Cass let go.
She fell, hitting the ground. Pain that made her clench her jaw rocketed through her leg. She rolled onto her hip. “Huh.”
“Cass?” Lyle’s fear-filled voice came from above her.
“I’m fine. Harder landing than I anticipated.” Cass picked up the flashlight and crawled over to the girl. She still hadn’t moved. Worry leaped in Cass. Was she already gone? No, she wouldn’t believe that.
Placing two fingers to the girl’s neck, Cass found a pulse, but it was weak. The child’s skin was icy to the touch. Hypothermia had set in. Pulling off her jacket, she wrapped it around the girl. Cass removed her hat and scarf and put them on the girl as well.
“Cass, move far to one side so I can throw the bag down. I want vitals before I leave.”
“Ready.” A few seconds later Lyle’s bag landed with a flop a couple of feet from her.
“Check her temperature and let me know what it is. Also, can you tell if anything is broken?” Lyle was giving her more orders than she could carry out at once. He was in full doctor mode.
Cass pulled the bag to her. Searching through it, she found the thermometer. Cass positioned the flashlight so that it shone on the girl. Thankfully Lyle had a battery-powered tympanic thermometer that Cass could just push into the girl’s ear. Removing the girl’s clothing would only make things worse. At least she wasn’t wet.
Hero barked.
“Bleib!” Cass yelled and the dog stopped barking. “Braver hund.” She called up to Lyle’s shadow as she spread out the thermal blanket. “Temp is ninety degrees Fahrenheit—that’s 32 degrees Celsius. Pulse is weak. Skin pale and cold to touch. Her breathing is shallow. I’m wrapping her in a blanket now.”
“Can you do a BP?” There was an anxiousness to his voice.
“I’d rather not remove the warmth I’ve already given her.”
“Aye. There’s no question she has hypothermia.”
Cass lay down on the thermal blanket and pulled the girl to her then wrapped the shiny, crinkly material around them. Maybe her body heat would help some.
Lyle’s voice rang out again. “There are two heat packs in the bag. Squeeze them and put them under her arms. Don’t put them against her skin.”
She already knew that from her own training, but Lyle could only be frustrated by not being in the hole and the one taking care of the patient. He was a hands-on type of doctor.
“I’m leaving to call for help. Please don’t take any chances. Stay put. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Hurry.”
“I will. Cass? I want your promise you won’t do anything foolish.” Lyle’s worry laced every word.
Cass’s heart swelled. He was such a good man. “Hero will be here. We’ll be waiting for you.”
“I’m counting on that.”
* * *
Lyle hated to leave Cass but he had no choice. He had to go for help. They needed more than his to-go medical bag to save the girl’s life. She needed hospital care. Right away.
Without his flashlight the walk down the rocky narrow path was slow, frustrating and dangerous. The fact that it had started sleeting only added to the difficulty. Despite that he had to keep moving. Not just for the girl’s sake but for Cass’s as well.
Lyle stopped often to see if he had a cellphone signal. Everything in him pulled at him to return to Cass. As brave as she was, she still must be frightened in that black hole with a child close to death. Lyle worked his way down the hillside. He had no idea how far he would have to go before he found a signal but it couldn’t be soon enough for him.
The weather was taking a turn for the worse. To complicate the conditions, the ground was slick, the path narrow and the rocks numerous. Could the situation get more dangerous?
His heart jumped when the phone connected and started ringing. Finally. The police officer answered. Lyle told him where they were and that they had found the girl. He then gave him instructions to call the hospital in Fort William and have the ambulance sent. Also, to call the clinic for the medical van. They would meet the ambulance. Every second counted. The girl might not make it if she didn’t get to the hospital right away.
Lyle wasted no more words and started climbing up the hill once again. More than once he slipped as the sleet grew harder. Before he reached the ruins the sirens of help could be heard, filling the air. On flat land again at the top, he ran to the hole. Hero was still obediently sitting beside it.
“Cass!” There was no answer. “Cass?” Still nothing. Fear washed through him. What had happened to her? Had a rock fallen and hit her? All kinds of horrible scenarios played like a movie through his head. He couldn’t lose Cass. He yelled louder. “Cass!”
“I’m here.” Her voice wasn’t strong, but it was there.
Relief flooded him as if a dam had broken.
She turned on the flashlight and pointed it toward him. “I hope help is on the way. I know now why the dungeon was the least favorite place in a castle.”
Lyle chuckled. “Help is on the way. Has there been any movement out of the girl?”
“No. But let me take her temp.”
He waited impatiently for her report.
“It’s ninety-one Fahrenheit—a little under thirty-three Celsius.”
“That’s progress.” He would take that. “How’re you doing?”
“I’d rather be cuddled up next to you.”
Lyle’s heart melted. He wished that too. He was in love with Cass, he realized. “Honey, I promise you I’ll make that happen just as soon as I can.”
“Promise?”
“You have my word on it.” When he got his arms around Cass again he might never let her go.
The sounds of people hurrying up behind him drew his attention. “Over here.” A group of six people headed his way. “They’re down here. In this hole.”
“They?” one of the rescue men asked.
“Yes. A friend of mine, a woman who works in search and rescue. I lowered her down.” Guilt pricked him. He should have gone. “We’ll need a rope. I’ll go down.”
“You’re staying put. We’ll need your skills up here when we get them up.” Les McArthur, the leader of the group and a man Lyle had known all his life, said, and pointed to a spot near the dog. “You stand there out of the way. What’s the name of the woman in the hole?”
Lyle didn’t like the idea of not being the one in charge but he did as he was told, knowing his friend was right. Still, that didn’t calm his nerves. “Cass.”
One of the men dropped a bag on the ground and unzipped it. He pulled a rope ladder out. Securing it to a large slab of stone, once part of the keep, he dropped it into the hole.
Les walked to the edge. “Cass, it’s Les McArthur. We’re coming down. Rope ladder first.”
“Okay.”
Lyle watched as Les went over the side. Behind him was a man with a foldup stretcher strapped to his back. Soon a bright light shone from the hole. Apparently Les had a portable light in the pack on his back.
“We’re going to need ropes down here,” someone called from inside the hole.
Another man pulled ropes out of a bag.
Lyle shifted from side to side, not just to keep warm but in his need to do something active. “Can I help?”
“No, this will go a lot faster if you let us do our part. Then you can do yours,” one of the men said. “They’re going to be fine.”
Cass had better be. The girl as well.
The men threw the ropes in. A few minutes later Les called up, “Ready.”
Everything in Lyle wanted to go down into that hole to Cass. Instead he stood watching all that was happening with his hands fisted at his sides and shoulders braced against the sleet-filled wind that was blowing harder by the minute.
Slowly the men started hauling the rope up. Soon the stretcher with the girl on it was being laid on the ground. At her feet was his medical bag. Cass had made sure he would have what he needed. She impressed him more every day.
“Let me check her pulse. I need to tell the hospital what to prepare for.” Lyle went down on his knees beside the stretcher. He wasn’t going to stand on the sidelines any longer.
The child was wrapped up in the thermal blanket. On her head was Cass’s hat and around her neck was her scarf. Lyle pulled a section of the blanket back. And there was her coat. Cass had nothing to protect her from the elements.
With two fingers, he checked the child’s pulse. He found it, but it wasn’t easy to locate. The girl needed to leave for the hospital now. As much as he hated it, he had to trust that Les would take care of Cass. His next call after the ambulance would be to Charles and Flora. They’d also see to Cass. But he wouldn’t be satisfied until he had her in his arms again.
He quickly stood, putting his bag under his arm. Giving the hole that Cass hadn’t emerged from a longing look he said, “Let’s get her down the hill. There’s no time to waste.”
* * *
Cass’s body shook violently. She was so cold. Where was she? In a damp, dark, freezing hole.
No, that wasn’t right. She had been cold, down to her bones. Now she was in a soft place, huddled in warmth. Her eyes flickered open. It was dark outside and a fire burned in the fireplace. She could see the flames reflecting off the wall. That was the only light in the room. Her room at the castle.
She turned her head to find Lyle asleep in a chair too small for him next to her bed. He was close enough to reach out and touch. His hair was tousled, as if he had run his fingers through it more than once. He snored softly. He must be exhausted.
The last thing she had a clear memory of at the ruins was the men securing the girl to the stretcher. She’d been so cold that all she’d been able to think about was sleeping. One of the men had given her a blanket but that hadn’t stopped the cold from seeping deeper. She vaguely remembered her teeth chattering as she’d stumbled down the hill with the help of one of the rescuers.
Lyle hadn’t been there when she’d come out of the hole. She’d known he wouldn’t be. He would be with the girl, as he should have been. Still, that didn’t mean she hadn’t missed having his arms around her or his heat. It would have been preferable to those of a stranger, no matter how nice they were.
At the bottom of the hill a police car had been waiting. She’d climbed into the rear seat and the officer had turned the heat up high. Despite that, she had been bitterly cold and in a daze when she’d arrived at the castle. Charles and Flora had been waiting for her in the foyer.
“Lyle called us. Gave us strict orders to give you a full examination,” Charles had said, pushing a wheelchair over to her.
Cass had been glad to see it, despite saying, “I don’t think all that’s necessary.”
“Lyle does. And based on what he told us, you earned our attention. Thanks for what you did,” Flora had added.
“Hero?” Cass had mumbled as Charles had pushed her and Flora had walked beside her.
“Esme is seeing to him. One of the police officers took him to the center. I understand he’s going to get an extra helping of food. Esme said she could use a person with your skills at the center.”
Cass had gone in and out of awareness while Charles had been examining her. When he’d finished, Flora had taken her turn, flexing and contracting her arm and leg. “We need to increase your therapy a bit for a few days, but I don’t see why you can’t be discharged on time.”
Cass looked at Lyle. Discharged. At one time, all she’d wanted to do was to get home. That day would be here soon. Flora hadn’t given her a specific date yet, but it was coming. Her leg and arm were much better. Despite all her efforts not to become involved, it had happened. It would be hard to leave Lyle. But she must.
She’d arrived with her emotions in a jumble and they weren’t in any better shape now. In fact, her feelings for Lyle had only added to the issues. He deserved better than a woman who was so messed up. How did she even know the feelings she had for him were real? Maybe she was just reacting to her need to have someone care about her in a weak moment. That wasn’t fair to him.
It didn’t matter. After all, they had agreed only to a good time while she was here. Lyle hadn’t said anything about wanting more. She’d made it clear she didn’t. So what was she worrying about? She would leave as planned. He understood that. She would be home for Christmas.
But what if Lyle asked her to stay? Would she?
She couldn’t. Heavens, she didn’t know what she wanted. Taking a chance on them being together would be like jumping off a ledge. They didn’t really know each other. What if it was just sexual attraction? It was best for Lyle to think of what they’d had as a nice friendship and let him move on.
It would be better for her as well. She’d learned last night that doing search and rescue was too emotionally hard for her. If that little girl had died, she would have as well. So what would she do now to make a living? Where would she end up living? There were too many unknowns.
Cass shifted. That was enough to wake Lyle. “Hey.”
He sat straighter in the chair. Wrinkles filled his forehead as he studied her. “How’re you feeling?”
“Better.” She looked toward the window. “It’s not morning?”
“No, it’s still early. Do you need anything?” He leaned toward her, studying her.
“A hot bath.”
“That I can handle.” Lyle got to his feet.
Cass was confident he could handle almost anything.
“Let’s get you into the bath. While you’re there I’ll go down and brew you some tea.”
She grinned. “There it is again. The cure-all, but it does sound wonderful.”
He started toward the bathroom. “I can tell your smart mouth isn’t frozen any longer.”
She giggled.
“You stay put and I’ll be back for you,” Lyle ordered.
“I can walk.”
“Maybe so, but I’d like to carry you.”
She would enjoy that. Seconds later water began running into the bath. The sounds of Lyle opening and closing cabinet doors soon followed. In a few minutes he returned to her.
“I know you’ve been sitting here thinking how you could walk in there by yourself but it’s not going to happen.” His accent became more pronounced when he was trying to make a point.
“You don’t know me well enough to know what I’m thinking.”
He put his palms on the bed and leaned in close enough that his nose almost touched hers. “Then deny it.”
She met his gaze with a smirk. “I do. I was actually thinking how much I’d enjoy being in your arms.”
Lyle’s look turned to one of bewilderment as he continued to stare at her. It quickly changed to one of pleasure that included a smile spreading across his face. “Then we have a plan.”
Cass pushed the covers back. Lyle placed an arm around her waist and under her legs then lifted her against his chest. The overlarge T-shirt she wore slipped up, exposing her thigh. Lyle’s hand was warm and sure on her skin. She looped her arm around his shoulders and enjoyed the ride.
He sat her on the side of the tub. “Let me check the water temp before you get in.”
Cass waited, watching him trail his fingers through the water. She like the tender attention from Lyle. It made her feel cherished. When had another man come close to giving her that feeling before? Never.
Jim had come the nearest, but he hadn’t understood her, her job—and especially not her relationship with her dog. His idea of caring had been to tell her she should quit doing something so dangerous. He’d never appreciated what drove her. If it had been him there tonight instead of Lyle, Jim would have never trusted her enough to care for the patient while he was gone. Jim hadn’t seen her as a partner, a strong person. Lyle did.
She respected him for that. Felt Lyle returned that respect. He had searched for a missing child without questioning her judgement of using a half-blind dog, then had lowered her into the hole on her directive, and cared for the girl when she’d been pulled out. Now he was looking after her. Was there anything he couldn’t do?
“How’s the girl doing?”
“She’ll recover with a good story to tell. I understand her family went hiking up there last week. She’d lost her doll and was convinced that it was in the ruins. She went looking for it.”
“I didn’t see a doll.” Surely she would have noticed one.
“I didn’t either, so I had a new one sent to her.” He said it as if it was no big deal.
“Lyle Sinclair, you’re a really nice guy.” She meant every word. Too nice for her to screw up his life.
“This is ready, if you are.” He reached for the hem of her T-shirt and pulled it over her head.
Cass watched him but he didn’t let his gaze drop below her face. He was being such a gentleman. Scooping up her feet, he placed them in the water. Cass slipped into the bath with a sigh of contentment. It rose to just below her breasts. She glanced at Lyle. His focus had fallen lower now.
“Hey.” She took his hand. His gaze met hers. A flame of awareness burned in his eyes. “It feels really wonderful in here.” She closed her eyes and lay back, giving him the full view.
Lyle groaned. “I’m going down for the tea. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Cass smiled, then said in her best seductive voice, “I’d much rather have you warm me up.”
“I’m the administrator of this clinic. I can’t be climbing into the bath with a patient.” He didn’t sound convinced.
“Lock the door, put out the Do Not Disturb sign. Live a little. Take a walk on the wild side. You know you want to.” She tugged on his hand. “Mmm…it sure is nice.” Cass opened her eyelids to slits. She could see the small upward curl of Lyle’s lips. He was weakening. “At least kiss me.”
Lyle leaned over her, his lips finding hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gently pulled him into the tub. Water sloshed everywhere but she didn’t care and apparently neither did Lyle. She continued to kiss him as he settled around her and brought her against him, taking the kiss deeper. When they broke apart Cass pulled at his long-sleeved shirt until her hands could wander freely over his back.
“Cass, you’ll be my undoing. And the end of my job if I’m not careful.” He kissed the sweet spot behind her ear.
She started working on the opening of his pants.
“How am I supposed to get out of your room without being seen in soaking wet clothes?” He sounded more perplexed than angry.
She wanted him that way. Her hand brushed across his hard manhood. “You have other things to worry about right now. I’ll show you a secret passage out.”
“Secret, uh?”
“First things first.” She gave him an open-mouthed kiss while pushing his pants over his hips.
* * *
A few days later, Lyle sat on the couch in his cottage with his arm around Cass and her cuddled under his arm and her head on his shoulder. All the lights were off except for those on the tree. It was the prettiest Christmas tree he’d ever seen. Or maybe it was because he was sharing it with Cass. Yet he sensed something was bothering her.
She had walked home with him after work but had been more quiet than usual. Normally she told him about her day or something a dog had done during her therapy. Today had been different. They had prepared dinner of soup and sandwiches, working together like a long-married couple who knew the next move of the other. Still she’d said nothing.
Was it worry over her leaving? He’d certainly spent more time thinking about it than he found comfortable. Flora had said nothing specific about planning to discharge Cass, but he and Cass both knew the time was near. He would find out before they went to bed what was going on in that busy mind of hers.
Lyle smiled to himself. He had really come out of his respectable world with Cass’s stunt of pulling him into the bath. She had added excitement to his life.
Cass had helped wring out his clothes with a grin on her face. They’d laid them to dry near the fire and climbed into her bed. Just before dawn he’d pulled the damp clothing on so he could go home and put on some dry ones. He’d shrugged into his coat, grateful it wasn’t wet. Cass gave him a goodbye kiss that had been hot enough to make them both steam. He had slipped out of her room and down a back staircase, with the jubilant thought that he wouldn’t be seen. The second he had put his hand on the doorknob, Charles had pulled the door open. Lyle could only imagine the dumbfounded look on his face at that moment. Charles often came in early, but Lyle hadn’t realized he used the side door.
“Hey. Aren’t you going the wrong way?” Charles looked beyond him as if searching for something going on.
“I was sitting up with Cass.” And other things. Very nice things.
Charles’s forehead wrinkled with concern. “I checked her out last night. She seemed fine. Was something wrong?”
“No, I just wanted to make sure she was okay.” Lyle made to step to past him. All he wanted was to get home and change his clothes.
A look of understanding came to Charles’s face along with a grin. He gave Lyle a pointed look. “And is she?’
“She is.”
Charles continued to block the opening. “Glad to hear it. Cass is a really special person. I heard what happened and how she jumped in to help.”
Lyle couldn’t agree more. Cass was very special. “She is special.”
“Freya did you wrong. Not every girl will.” Charles’s words were said softly but matter-of-factly. “Maybe it’s time to give someone else a chance.”
Lyle had been thinking the same thing. “You’re one to be talking.”
“Just because I’m a bachelor it doesn’t mean you should be one. Just think about it.” Charles slapped Lyle on the shoulder as he went by. “Are you wet?”
Apparently his fingers had touched Lyle’s shirt. “I fell in the bath.”
He heard the roll of Charles’s laughter as he hurried out the door.
Cass shifted beside him now. “What’re you thinking about?”
He gave her shoulders a squeeze. “I was just thinking about Charles catching me leaving the other morning.”
Cass smiled against him. “So he knows about us?”
“Yes. But he would anyway. The Laird knows everything that’s going on in his domain.”
“Do you mind?” She turned to look up at him.
“Mind? Why would I? You’re wonderful, smart, beautiful, fun to be around. Why should I mind? I’m honored.”
She shifted to face him and gave him a gentle kiss. “Thank you. That was a nice thing to say.”
“I meant every word.”
Lyle did. He wanted more moments like this with Cass. If the truth be known, he wanted her forever. Yet he wanted to do it right this time. Make no mistake. For him there could be no long-distance relationship. He didn’t want to feel pressured to ask her to stay, because they would soon be separated. But could he let her go without letting her know he cared?
* * *
Cass moved away from Lyle, then turned to face him. They had to talk. She’d put it off while they’d walked to his place, through dinner, and now she had to tell him. It shouldn’t be this hard—after all they had an agreement. She’d made it clear where she stood. So why was she having such a difficult time bringing up the subject?
“What’s wrong, Cass? Tell me.”
She clasped her hands in her lap. “I can’t hide anything from you. You always read me so well. Flora said this afternoon she plans to discharge me in three days. I can start making travel arrangements. I’ll be home for Christmas.”
Lyle studied her a moment before he said, “I knew the time was coming. We both did.”
“Yes, we did.”
He had sounded resigned, while she was a ball of growing sadness. It should be easier than this.
There was a pause as if Lyle was considering what he was going to say. “If I asked you to stay, would you?”
Cass slowly shook her head. “It’s a nice thought, but not realistic.”
“What about it isn’t realistic?”
Her chest tightened. “My life is a mess. I don’t even know what I want to do for a job now. My emotions are everywhere. I fear I’ve used you because you were nice to me and I had no one else to turn to. I can’t make a life-changing decision like staying here with you based on that. It might not end well and you deserve better.”
“We can figure it all out together.” His words were said softly, beseechingly.
“Lyle, I’ve enjoyed every minute. Well, almost every one of them.” She made an attempt at humor, but his serious look didn’t change. “But I have to figure out my life on my own, otherwise it would never work.”
“It seems to me it’s been working great up until now.” He sounded mystified that she might not think the same.
“I’m just so confused. My feelings are so jumbled up right now. I have a poor history of keeping relationships alive. I’d never want to do to you what Freya did. You’re a wonderful man who shouldn’t be treated that way. I can’t take the chance that you become like the other men in my life, and I disappoint you. I couldn’t stand to see that look on your face.”
Lyle watched her for a moment. There was grief in his eyes. “Do you really believe all that rubbish? After all we have shared?”
“We’re good together in bed, but that was never supposed to last forever. We talked about this when we started out.” She waved a hand between them. “We had an agreement. You can’t change the rules now.”
“The hell I can’t. Why can’t you call this what it is? A relationship. I care about you. I think you feel the same about me.”
“And let’s just say that I do, then what? I still live in America. I may return to a job that takes me all over the world. Anytime, day or night. Or what if I decide to do something else and it’s still the States? Do you think we have a chance at a long-distance romance? How did that work out for you last time?”
He flinched. “There will be no long-distance relationship between us.”
“So you plan to move to America to be with me?”
His face fell. “We can work something out.”
She hated what she was doing to him. That she was pushing him away. “What I’m hearing is that you want me to give up everything and come here to you.”
“Put that way, it sounds unfair. Still, I think we have something real here. Something that doesn’t come along often in a lifetime. Come on, Cass, stop hiding behind your fear. It’s easy to keep a wall up, it’s harder to let go, start again. Stop being dishonest with yourself.”
“Dishonest! Like you are with your father? Have you ever made it clear to him that you don’t want to return to the army? Even tried to make it clear he can accept that or not, but it won’t change things? That you want him to be happy, but not at the cost of your own happiness?”
Lyle looked at her as if she had slapped him. “It’s complicated.”
“And my issues aren’t? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You and your father’s issues are none of my business. But what I do know is that if you return to active duty for someone other than yourself you will be miserable. Do you really think that’s what your father wants for you?”
Lyle stood. “You’re right, my issue with my father isn’t any of your business. It has nothing to do with us.”
“I’m not sure that’s true. Here you are, asking me to stay with you, yet you might be going off to who knows where with the army. What am I supposed to do? Sit here waiting for you? I thought that was the kind of relationship you didn’t want. It seems to me that we both need to make some major decisions in our lives before we involve someone else in them.”
The ferocity seemed to go out of him like air from an air-bag. “All I want to do is make his last days happy ones.”
“I know. But is re-enlisting the right way to do that? Or would the truth be better? You deserve to be happy as well. If you make him happy, you won’t be. I know for a fact you’re valuable to the clinic and this area. That you’re happy with the work you do now. You’re thinking of making a decision, a life-altering one, based on emotion. That’s not a good way to do things. I can’t do that. My decisions have to be based on more than hot sex with a handsome doc. I need to think. Need to regroup.” She hated to hurt him but one of them had to think rationally. “I think it’s best we leave this as a nice interlude.”
“Interlude,” he growled with eyes blazing—and not in the way she would have liked. “An interlude. I see.”
What did he see? Lyle made the word sound nasty, ugly. “That’s what we said it would be.”
“If that’s the way you feel then I wish you the best. Since this interlude appears to be over, I should escort you back to the clinic.” He walked into the hall and took her coat off the hook.
* * *
Cass didn’t see Lyle again until three days later when she was getting into the taxi that would take her to Fort William to start her trip home. She’d cried into her pillow each night since their breakup as loneliness consumed her, then worked hard not to show her sorrow during the day. Still, she felt she had done the right thing, for both of them.
She looked longingly at Lyle. Her heart thumped in her chest. If he asked her to stay again, would she? She needn’t have worried. He remained near the front door, watching her without a smile or raising a hand in farewell.
Cass closed the car door. As she rode away, she swiped at her cheek. Unable to resist one last look, she turned to see the steps empty. Lyle had gone back inside.
If the last three days had been awful, leaving Lyle was truly horrible. What would the next week or month, or her life be like when she was thousands of miles away from him? She couldn’t count the number of times she’d told herself, “Stay strong.”
What she had planned not to do she had done. She’d let herself take the chance of caring again. She had fallen for Lyle.