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Chapter Nineteen

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Gabby

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I sat on the edge of my bed and listened to the weather howling outside. I should just go to sleep. Unfortunately, I couldn’t sleep. He was out there completely naked. How in the hell was I supposed to sleep with that happening? I wanted nothing to do with him. We were fire and ice. He was so damn sexy and stubborn.

Even the way we argued was hot. He made me want to strangle him and kiss him at the same time. I had never met anyone so damn infuriating. I liked to think I was pretty easy going. High-strung, but still easy going when it came to people. I didn’t let them bother me. I dealt with so much crazy stuff all day every day, I couldn’t let a few insults get to me. It was the suit of armor I wore to keep myself safe from people and their feelings. People could be very emotional. I used to describe it to my friend as watching Hallmark movies all day, but rarely did those movies have a happy ending. It was a constant assault on the emotions. I would be severely dehydrated if I let myself cry all day.

I climbed under the covers and tried to force myself to go to sleep. The storm would be over by morning, and he would be gone. He’d go back to his section of beach, and I could just do what I did all day, which was a lot of nothing. I wasn’t going to admit I was a little bored. It would have been nice to hang out with him. Unfortunately, I burned that bridge. Hell, I blew that bridge to smithereens.

I pulled the pillow over my face and tried to count sheep. I started going through the things I was going to do when I got home. No matter how much I mentally distanced myself from the naked man on my couch, it kept coming back to him. I couldn’t stop picturing him naked in the kitchen. His body was forever imprinted on my brain. He would have made a hell of a pinup. I wondered why he was single. I knew he wasn’t gay. He was sexy, successful, and despite how much he irritated me, he was charming.

If I met him in the real world, I would be attracted to him. I knew my dad would like him. Although my dad was all about me marrying and settling down with a nice doctor or maybe a lawyer, I knew my dad would have liked Jake. He had that downhome thing that appealed to my dad. If he were alive, he would tell me to quit being so damn mean to the man and go out with him.

My dad had warned me I was going to end up very alone in my later years if I didn’t cool my jets. Those were his words. He was always telling me to cool my jets. Yet, he was also the man who pushed and encouraged me to work harder. I had a tendency to be dismissive of people that tried to get into my personal orbit.

I closed my eyes and went to that place in my mind that I could talk to my parents. It usually ended up just being Dad I talked to. Mom had been gone for ten years. It was sad to admit, but I barely remembered what her voice sounded like. I couldn’t quite conjure up her image. Not like I could with my dad.

It’s me, Dad. I miss you. This last month has been so hard. I thought I would be okay. I went right back to work after your funeral. I didn’t tell anyone where I’d been for the weekend. I couldn’t bring myself to actually say the words. Now I’m here on this island and I’m just making a real mess of things.

“Ah, my sweet Gabriel,” I could hear him say. “You are such a strong girl. I blame myself for teaching you to push through all the things that make us human.”

“I’m not strong, Dad. I’m on autopilot. I don’t know what I’m doing. You always told me I should focus on my work. I’ve done that. I always do that. What if I’m doing it all wrong? I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life but every time someone even thinks about getting close to me, I push them away.”

I could hear his soft laughter bouncing in my mind. “Gabby, you’re still young. You’re going to have a full life with a family and friends. You just have to find the balance.”

“It took you and Mom a long time to find that balance,” I told him in my mind. “You guys were almost forty when you decided to start a family.”

“Your mom and I wanted to make sure we were established and could give you everything you would want and need,” he explained in that way he always did. “We used to talk about having more kids, but it just wasn’t in the cards. One of our biggest regrets was not having you sooner. Don’t make that same mistake. It’s okay to love. It’s okay to be loved.”

“But what if I get hurt?”

“You probably will get hurt,” he said. “That’s part of living. We’ve always tried give you plenty of room to grow and explore. I think we should have done a better job teaching you how to love.”

I almost laughed. “I don’t think you have to be taught to love. Most people don’t, but apparently, I do. I just don’t know how to let down my guard. I can’t lose anyone else.”

“Gabby, you didn’t lose us. We’re here with you. We’re always here. Let yourself love. Be loved.”

“How do I know what love is?” I asked.

“You know,” he assured me. His voice in my head grew faint. “Go easy on yourself. Let yourself love.”

I sighed, feeling a little better after having the pseudo-conversation with my late father. If I ever saw a shrink, I’d probably be committed if I admitted to talking to dead people. I had work friends, but I had no one truly close to me. My father was all I had. I was going to try and take his advice. I wasn’t going to pretend Jake was my destiny, but he was a practice run. This very strange relationship I had with him was opening new doors that had been previously closed. It was making me think about things I never imagined I would be considering. I was thinking about love and babies and all the other things.

When I finally fell asleep, it wasn’t at all restful. I tossed and turned and thought about everything, but mostly him. We were stuck on the island for another week. I could make the best of it and choose to get along with him, or keep fighting what was happening. Then again, he wasn’t exactly leaning towards being my best friend.

When I woke the next morning, I felt unsettled. Nothing felt right. It wasn’t just the weather that was out of sorts. I got out of bed and walked to the window. “Dammit.”

It was still raining, and the wind was still blowing. That did not bode well for the day. We were going to be trapped in this stupid cottage together. It was like putting two feral animals in the same cage and hoping they got along. I couldn’t kick him out of the cottage. Not with weather like this. That meant I was likely going to be stuck in the bedroom while he took the rest of the house.

I walked to the bedroom door and very slowly opened it. If he was still sleeping, I didn’t want to wake him. I was hoping to sneak into the kitchen and grab something to drink and maybe some food before I retreated to the bedroom once again. I needed to shower. I was hoping to get in and out before he rose. The house was dark with the clouds blocking the sun. I tiptoed down the short hall and looked towards the living room to see if he was still inside.

My breath caught. He was on the couch with the blanket half on the floor. One leg was over the back of the couch with the other stretched out and resting on the armrest. His nudity was on full display. I immediately averted my eyes. Almost immediately. It was hard not to look at such a beautiful specimen of the male body. He was tanner than he had been when he first got to the island last week. His hair looked wild, but his expression was one of peace.

I looked away but it was too late. His eyes popped open and stared directly at me. “Yes?” he asked in a gruff voice.

“I was just getting a drink,” I said and quickly went into the kitchen.

I grabbed a bottle of water and a box of crackers, which wasn’t exactly what I had been going for, but he flustered me. When I turned around again, he was just getting off the couch. He tossed the blanket to the couch and stared at me. “Problem?” he asked.

I had told myself I was going to be nice, but damn if he didn’t bring out the worst in me. “Just wondering if you plan on spending the rest of the week naked.”

“I might,” he said. “Aren’t you the one who wanted to be a nudist?”

“When I was alone.”

“You’ve seen me naked,” he said. “Shouldn’t you be used to this by now?”

“I just don’t understand why you feel the need to be naked all the time,” I spat.

“I’m not naked all the time,” he said. “I don’t want to wear wet cloths. I’ll chafe.”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. It’s still raining out, so I assume you’ll be hanging out in here today.”

“I might.”

“I’ll stick to the bedroom and stay out of your way,” I said. “I’m going to take a quick shower, then you won’t see me again.”

“Good,” he said, and started walking towards me.

I panicked and froze. I couldn’t move. He walked right up to me and brushed his body in front of mine before moving down the hall. I hated it, but I watched him walk away. He walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

“What are you doing?” I frowned as I walked to the bathroom door.

“I’m taking a shower,” he called through the door. “I got chilled last night. I need to warm up.”

“I just told you I was going to get in the shower!”

“Too bad,” he said.

“That’s so rude!” I shrieked. “If we’re going to live together, you have to be polite.”

“That’s good advice,” he said. “You should take it.”

“Why would you do that?” I growled and slapped my hand against the door. “I wanted to take a shower and then you could have the whole place to yourself.”

“I’m already in here,” he said with a laugh. “You snooze, you lose.”

“You jerk!” I growled.

“Why don’t you go outside and take a shower in the rain?” he teased. “You made me do it. Try a little of your own medicine. Lucky for you, it’s a little warmer.”

I slapped the door again. “I didn’t make you do anything!”

Arguing through a closed door felt very futile. It wasn’t getting me anywhere. He just pissed me off so much. I could walk away and go to the room. I didn’t have to shower right this very minute. It was the principal of the matter. He heard me say I was going to shower, and he pushed his way inside. It was so damn rude. Every time I thought we could possibly be friends, he did something like this. He was insufferable.

“Go away,” he said. “Let me shower in peace. I’m asking for ten minutes without you squawking about this being your cottage. Ten minutes, Gabby.”

“You know what,” I snapped. “I have half a mind to walk in there and brush my teeth regardless of your state of dress. Like you said, I’ve already seen you naked.”

The door pulled open, and he looked at me with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. There was a spark of mischief in his eyes. His gaze held mine for several seconds before he turned away. I watched him rinse and spit and then walk to the shower to turn it on. I stood in the doorway with my box of crackers and bottle of water.

Before stepping into the shower, he looked over his shoulder and smirked. “I’m going to start charging if you keep ogling my body.”

I glared at him and stepped into the bathroom. I dropped my crackers and water on the counter and reached for my toothbrush. I could be just as calm and cool as he could.