TARA HAD LEFT Levi and Joey dozens of times, and most of them were fairly seamless, other than Joey’s pleading for Tara to stay. That always broke her heart, but Tara would carry that heartbreak and her secret love for Levi onto the ferry, and by the time she arrived on the island, she’d tucked it so far down, all anyone saw was happy-go-lucky Tara. But this time, as Levi put her bags in her trunk and Joey clung to her hand, she felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest. It shouldn’t be so hard. Especially after all the promises she and Levi had made last night. But she didn’t want to go back and deal with her mother or figure out her life. She wanted to figure out her life there, with them, and continue what they’d started building.
Her father had called and given her an out from taking pictures at the clothing drive, and she’d been tempted to accept. But she couldn’t build a life with Levi and Joey when her own life was so unsettled. She had to figure out where things stood with her mother, or it would hang over their heads like a rain cloud waiting to burst.
“You’re all set, blondie.” Levi closed the trunk.
“No.” Joey threw her arms around Tara’s waist. “Can’t you stay? I don’t want you to go.”
“I wish I could.” Tara hugged her, Joey’s tears making her tear up, too. “We’re going to see each other more often. I promise.”
“Daddy said you’re going to get an apartment or a house on the island. Will you have room for me?”
“I’ll always have room for you. I might stay at Aunt Jules’s old apartment for a little while. There’s only one bedroom, but I’ll make sure there’s a really comfy couch. Okay?”
She nodded, more tears spilling from her eyes. “Please don’t go.”
Tara hugged her, struggling to keep her own tears at bay. Levi’s jaw was tight, his eyes dry but as sad as theirs. She drew back so she could see Joey’s face and wiped her eyes. “I had so much fun these last two weeks. I want you to promise me something. I want you to have the best day today. Water our plants and maybe spray Daddy with the hose.”
Joey nodded, swiping at her tears. “I want you to have a good day, too.”
“I will. But I’d better go before I miss my ferry.” Or break down in tears. She gave Joey another quick hug and looked longingly at Levi as he reached for her.
“Get in here, T.” He drew her into his arms, holding her so tight, she was pretty sure he didn’t want to ever let her go. He slipped his hands into her back pockets and pressed his cheek to hers, whispering, “I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but this is harder than when I moved away from the island.”
Too choked up to speak, she closed her eyes for a moment to ward off tears.
He pressed a kiss to her cheek, and then he gazed into her eyes and slid one hand beneath her hair, his thumb brushing over the spot he’d just kissed. “I love you, blondie.”
“Same” was all she could manage.
“Call me when you get a chance. Let me know how things go with your mom.”
She nodded, and they kissed, a sweet, Joey-appropriate kiss, and then she climbed into her car and started it up, quickly taking a mental inventory to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything. She knew she hadn’t, but it helped to stave off the sadness.
At least until she glanced at Joey, clinging to Levi with tears in her eyes and waving. Tara rolled down the window. “I love you both. See you soon.”
With a wave, she drove away. Joey ran to the end of the driveway, waving as Tara drove down the street. When Tara turned the corner, tears slipped down her cheeks.
By the time she boarded the ferry, she’d stopped crying, and as they pulled away from the dock, she began her silent pep talk, shoving her feelings down deep as she’d done so many times before. Her phone rang, and she reached into her back pocket for it and pulled it out along with an unfamiliar folded piece of paper. Her mind tiptoed back to Levi sliding his hands into her back pockets. She let Jules’s call go to voicemail and quickly unfolded the note.
Blondie, before we got together, my father asked me if I was lonely, and I said I wasn’t. It was true, but the last few weeks made me realize it was because when you were around, you brought so much joy into our lives, it held me over between visits. This time everything is different. Now that I know what it feels like to hold you, kiss you, love you, and do dirty things to you (and vice versa), I’m already lonely for you, and you haven’t even left yet. As I write this, you’re lying next to me in bed, fast asleep. Know I’m with you today as you face your mother, and as you take the first steps in figuring out how to move forward, be sure you’re leaving room for me and Joey to walk beside you. XO, Levi
Tara swiped at the tears wetting her cheeks, wondering how she was supposed to figure out her life, when she’d left the best parts of it behind.
TARA TEXTED JULES before driving off the ferry and made plans to meet her and Bellamy at Jules and Grant’s bungalow after seeing two properties she’d lined up with Charmaine. She drove to Seaport, remembering the night Levi had taken her out to dinner. Her life had changed so much since then. She’d changed.
She wasn’t the lovesick girl who had pined after Levi and taken shit from her mother and sister. For the first time in her life, she felt like a woman. She didn’t know if it was from standing up to her mother or her relationship with Levi, but she had a feeling it was both.
As she drove toward Gallow Pointe, where the charity drive was taking place, she gave herself a pep talk, mentally preparing to see her mother. The lighthouse appeared in the distance when she rounded the bend, and her nerves flared. She drove under a banner announcing the event, and the Gallow family’s bed-and-breakfast came into view. She gripped the steering wheel tighter. The inn was run by Goldie Gallow, a tall, thin, high-spirited eighty-year-old who patterned her attire, shag hairstyle, and heavy use of eye makeup, after Joan Jett, looked more like she was in her seventies, and acted like she was in her thirties.
Goldie had been holding community breakfasts and potluck dinners for island residents forever. Tara had attended those events many times, but as her mother’s need for perfection had become more irritating, she’d stopped attending as a guest and had shown up only as a photographer. Hiding behind her camera had certain benefits. It allowed her to catch up with people she didn’t get to see very often, while avoiding being dragged into her mother’s world of putting on airs.
The parking lot by the lighthouse was packed, and the charity event was in full swing. Crowds of people milled about the grassy lawn, some carrying bags toward gigantic donation bins and others checking out the food beneath a white canopy. Children ran around with balloons tied to their wrists and cookies in their hands.
Tara found a spot at the far end of the lot, grabbed her equipment, and headed over to the event. She loved community events where people came together to help others. Her thoughts turned to Levi, working hard to make Autumn’s dreams come true. She missed him desperately, but she couldn’t afford to get lost in those feelings. She needed all the strength she could muster to get through a conversation with her mother.
With her camera to her eye, she took pictures of children laughing and playing, couples holding hands, and volunteers helping to sort through donations. Her mother was holding court over a group of women by the lighthouse entrance. She was impeccably overdressed in a pretty mauve shift and heels. Tara headed in the opposite direction, taking more pictures of people giving donations. She warmed all over when she saw her father talking with a group of people who looked younger than Tara. She took a few candid shots and would get more when he took his turn at the podium thanking everyone for attending.
She spotted her grandmother talking with Goldie, who deserved a spotlight for all she did for the community, and Goldie’s petite bestie, Estelle. Estelle was a pistol. She had thick, curly gray-blue hair and wore red-framed sunglasses. Tara’s grandmother looked cute in tan capris, a bright blue top, and matching blue glasses, while Goldie wore black skinny jeans and a purple shirt with a dangerously low neckline and NOTHING’S SEXIER THAN A MAN WHO GIVES emblazoned across her chest. Gives was the only word in bold.
Tara took several pictures of them before her grandmother waved her over.
Her grandmother had called her a few times last week, making sure she was okay and commiserating about Tara’s mother. Tara had asked her grandmother if she knew why her mother acted the way she did, and her grandmother had said It’s who she’s always been, which wasn’t exactly helpful.
“Hi, Gram.” Tara hugged her.
“Tara, sweetheart, give Grandma Goldie a hug,” Goldie drew her into a warm embrace.
“It’s nice to see you both. How are you?” Tara asked as Goldie passed her to Estelle, who also hugged her.
“From what I hear, not nearly as good as you,” Estelle said.
“What has my grandmother been telling you?”
“Nothing that isn’t true,” her grandmother said.
“I hear you and Levi Steele are knocking boots,” Goldie said.
Tara gave her grandmother a disapproving look.
“He’s a good egg, darling,” Estelle added. “A whole lotta man and quite a fine father.”
“Fine is right,” her grandmother added.
Tara was caught between amusement and a little put off that they’d checked out Levi in that way.
“Why do you look like your panties are too tight?” Estelle asked.
“Because I’m trying not to think about you checking out Levi,” she said honestly.
“Oh, honey, we check out everyone. Men, women, makes no difference,” Goldie said.
“We have to make sure our Silver Island young’uns are getting the partners they deserve,” Estelle said.
“Maybe you should open a matchmaking business.” Tara was teasing, but they didn’t get the joke, because they began brainstorming business names.
“Two for Tea?” her grandmother suggested.
“Too boring,” Estelle said. “How about Love Connection?”
“The Love Ladies?” Goldie offered.
“Sounds like a brothel,” Tara said.
“That could give Goldie’s bed-and-breakfast a whole new clientele,” her grandmother said, and they all cracked up.
They abruptly quieted and schooled their expressions. Tara followed their gazes and saw her mother approaching. She stood taller, drawing her shoulders back, readying for battle.
“Tara, honey, I’m so glad you made it.” Her mother kissed her cheek.
Irritated that she had the gall to act like everything was fine between them, Tara said, “I’d never let Dad down.”
“Of course not, and we’re so proud of you for taking your responsibilities seriously.” Her mother turned her attention to Goldie and Estelle. “Did Tara tell you that our beautiful granddaughter won a skateboarding trophy? We had the greatest time watching her perform her tricks…”
If Tara listened to any more of this, she was going to be sick. “Excuse me. I need to go take pictures.”
“I’ll help you.” Her grandmother fell into step beside her and lowered her voice. “I bet you want to hop the first ferry back to Harborside.”
“More than you can imagine.”
HER MOTHER KEPT up the act throughout the event, and by the time Tara left, she was fit to be tied. Poor Charmaine probably thought Tara had lost her mind, she was so quiet while looking at the rental properties. Tara was afraid to speak for fear of misdirected anger coming out, and since she’d been seeing red, she hadn’t been able to pay attention to the tour of the rentals.
She drove out to Brighton Bluffs and walked along the cliffs, letting the sea breeze kiss her skin, trying to calm down before seeing Jules and Bellamy, but it didn’t help. Levi texted to see how the event and her rental appointments had gone, but she didn’t want to burden him with her troubles. He couldn’t fix them, and although being in his arms would make her feel better, she’d screwed herself over on that one by telling him not to come. So she simply said the event had gone fine, and she’d decided to stay at Jules’s apartment for a while. She promised to text when she got settled in for the night.
It was almost six by the time she got to Jules and Grant’s bungalow. Knowing she was going to see her besties took the edge off. She parked between Jules’s bright yellow Jeep and Bellamy’s steel-blue Toyota Camry hybrid and took a moment to just breathe.
A cold breeze swept up from the water as she walked to the porch. She wrapped her arms around herself, remembering how run-down their bungalow had been before Jules and Grant had gotten together and how it had reminded her of the way Grant had seen himself at that time. He’d lost more than his leg with his amputation. He’d lost his brotherhood, the men with whom he’d carried out covert missions, and worse, he’d lost his sense of purpose. Jules had helped him get that back and rediscover his love of painting. Tara’s thoughts turned inward. She hadn’t felt broken before she and Levi had come together, but she hadn’t felt complete, either. Now she felt complete, but a piece of her was broken because of the fight with her mother, and she didn’t know if it was fixable.
She lifted her hand to knock, but the door swung open, and Jules and Bellamy converged on her with open arms.
“Finally,” Bellamy said.
“We missed you,” Jules said. “Are you okay?”
They ushered her inside. “I’m fine.”
“How was it seeing your mom?” Bellamy asked.
“Do I need to have my mom give her a harsh talking-to?” Jules asked. “Wait. Sit down and relax and then we’ll talk. We poured you a glass of wine, and Belly brought snacks.”
“Comfort food,” Bellamy explained. “Pizza bites and chocolate.”
“I love you guys,” Tara said.
“Of course you do. We’re the best besties a girl could have,” Bellamy said as they sat on the couch, with Tara in the middle.
Tara toed off her sneakers and sat cross-legged, telling them how her mother had put on a charade of the perfect family all afternoon and how painful it was. She rested her head back and gazed up at the ceiling. “How can my life be so perfect in one way and so broken in another?”
“I think some things need to break in order to heal in a better way,” Jules said.
Tara met her gaze. “Why? It’s so painful.”
“Because sometimes broken turns into normal, like how your mom makes comments about you, and she doesn’t see it—”
“Wait,” Tara snapped. “She might not have realized it before, but she knows now. I made it crystal clear when we were arguing.”
“And we’re proud of you for doing that.” Bellamy put her arm around her and hugged her.
“Thanks. But it didn’t help.”
“Maybe it’s easier for her to pretend it never happened and she’ll still change her ways,” Jules said.
“Nope. Before I left she said, ‘Next time you might want to wear something a little more fashionable.’” She closed her eyes against the sting of tears. “I don’t get it. I’m not a horrible daughter.”
“You’re an amazing daughter. This is her issue, not yours,” Bellamy said.
“Then why does it hurt so bad?” She leaned forward to grab a handful of chocolate, then thought better of it. “See? She makes me want to eat my feelings away.”
“It hurts because she’s your mom,” Jules said. “Why don’t you talk to her?”
“I’m afraid to. I’m not sure what will come out of my mouth.”
“Good point,” Bellamy said. “Have you heard from Amelia?”
Tara shook her head. “No, thank God. I don’t think I could deal with her right now.”
“How was your dad today?” Jules asked.
“Fine. He stood up for me when my mom commented on my outfit. He told her to back off in a way I’ve never heard him speak to her before. I got the impression things were not great between them, and I feel guilty about that.”
“Don’t,” Jules warned. “My mom says children should never take responsibility for their parents’ issues and that what happens between parents often has nothing to do with whatever is going on around them at that time.”
“What does that mean? They got along fine before,” Tara said.
“You don’t know that. You only know what they wanted you to see,” Bellamy said. “Look at my parents.” Her parents were still in love but had lived in separate homes for most of her life.
“You’re right,” Tara said. “Jules, would you mind if I stayed in your apartment for a while? It won’t be for long. I’m still looking around, but don’t think I could stomach sleeping at my parents’.”
“Of course. I thought you might want to, so I made you a key.” Jules picked up a pink key from the coffee table and handed it to her.
“Thanks.”
“Was it hard to leave Levi and Joey?” Bellamy asked.
“So hard. He wanted to come with me, but I felt like I needed to prove that I could do this on my own. And now I wish he were here.”
“Aww,” Jules and Bellamy said in unison, and hugged her.
“Okay, no. We’re not getting bummed about this,” Tara said. “I need you guys to lift me up and make me laugh, not commiserate about how much I miss Levi. Tell me something fun.”
“I have some juicy gossip,” Jules said.
“Do tell,” Bellamy urged.
“Leni told me that Shea just took on Duncan Raz as a client.” Leni worked for her cousin Shea’s public relations firm, and Duncan “Raz” Raznick was a gorgeous A-list actor.
“Whaat?” Bellamy squealed. “I heard he had a really bad breakup with that Jacinda chick he was dating.”
“I read something about that,” Tara said. “She cheated on him with a costar. No wonder he needed a new PR company.”
“Hello.” Bellamy waved her hand. “Her loss can be my gain. Tell Leni to hook me up with him!”
“You might not want that,” Jules said. “Leni told me that he drives Shea crazy. He never wants to do what she tells him to.”
They talked for two hours straight, catching up on gossip and circling back to Tara’s parents, Amelia, and Levi and Joey. Tara admitted how wonderful it was to truly feel loved. She and Jules commiserated about how much they missed their guys when they weren’t together, and Bellamy complained about feeling left out and needing a man, which brought them to Bellamy’s submission to the reality show. She hadn’t heard back yet but said it could take a long time.
Sometime after the sun went down, Grant walked in and found them chatting animatedly with their feet on the coffee table. He stopped cold, like a deer in headlights. “Oh, uh. Still girl time?” He hiked a thumb over his shoulder. “I’ll be working out, Pix. Lemme know when it’s safe to come in.”
He walked right back out the door.
“Okay, girls. Finish your wine. You gotta go,” Jules said hurriedly.
“What? Why?” Bellamy whined.
“He’s going to work out. That means shirtless. There is nothing sexier than your brother shirtless and in gray sweats.” She fanned her face. “Hurry up. I’m getting hot already.”
Tara and Bellamy laughed.
“I feel your pain. I’m leaving,” Tara pushed to her feet. “Want help cleaning up?”
“No. I don’t mean to be rude, but…” Jules pulled Bellamy up to her feet.
“Hey!” Bellamy complained.
“You’ll understand when you find your forever love, right, Tara?” Jules hugged them and ushered them playfully toward the door.
“It feels weird agreeing since I’m with your brother, but heck yeah.”
BOTH OF TARA’S parents’ cars were in the garage when she got home. Tara’s stomach twisted painfully, and she debated playing her mother’s game and just letting it go. Could she even pretend everything was okay? Levi’s voice whispered through her mind. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for Joey…She learns from you. She touched the thin leather bands of her bracelet, thinking about Joey having seen the tail end of their argument. If she backed down now, it would have all been for nothing.
She allowed herself to feel the hurt and anger, to carry it like the burden it was. To use it to fuel her determination as she plowed through the kitchen door.
Her mother was sitting at the table, her back to the door, head bowed, resting on her hand. She didn’t look up as Tara strode past. Tara told herself not to blow up, not to say a word until she’d packed her things, so she wouldn’t have to stick around in the awkward aftermath of their next argument. She tried to steel herself against the hurt of being ignored, and she almost made it out of the kitchen, but the argument and today’s farce rushed in, and she was unable to hold back. She spun around, snapping, “Where’s my fake hello, sweetheart? Where’s the show you put on for everyone else after saying horrible things to me, and about Levi, and not speaking to me for a week? How do you think all those people would react if they knew the truth about how you treat your daughter? What then, Mother? Would you still pretend it never happened?” Tara paced, anger spewing as fast and hot as lava. “I don’t know why I’ve never been good enough for you, but I don’t care anymore. I’m good enough for me, and I’m proud of who I am, and I’m proud of who Levi is. And I will never treat my kids the way you treat me.”
Her mother lifted her face, eyes red and swollen, tears streaking her cheeks.
Tara blinked several times. She’d never seen her mother cry, and the shock of it pulled her out of her own head long enough to see that her mother’s clothes were disheveled, her hair was messy, and her eye makeup had streaked down her cheeks. Her mother’s mouth hung open, as if she were unable to speak. Tara averted her eyes, and that’s when she noticed the empty pint of ice cream lying on its side on the table, a spoon lying in a puddle of melted ice cream.
Panic spread through Tara. She could think of only one thing that would cause her mother to look like that. “Did something happen to Dad?”
Her mother shook her head. “Other than him not speaking to me? No. He’s fine.”
“Grandma?” she asked frantically.
“She’s fine enough to give me hell every freaking day since last weekend,” she said flatly. “And don’t ask about your brothers—they’re fine—and I know you won’t ask, but it’s not Amelia.”
“So, what, then?” Tara crossed her arms and realized she was shaking. “You’re having your own pity party?”
Her mother shook her head, looking ten years older than she had that afternoon. “I don’t want pity. I want a do-over.”
“Why? Did something happen after I left the event? Didn’t they get enough donations?”
“Not for the event, Tara,” she said in an utterly exhausted voice. “I want a do-over in raising my family and being a wife. I hear the things I say, and they’re all the things I swore I never would.”
Tara’s heart hammered against her chest as fresh tears spilled from her mother’s eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“There’s a reason we rarely see my parents. I only know how to be one person, and that’s the person they raised. My mother was a perfectionist. She used to get on my case about everything. How I stood, how I walked, how I talked. Nothing was off-limits.”
Conflicting emotions rained down on Tara, empathy for her mother and anger at herself for feeling that way. “You’re not getting any pity from me. You had a choice every time you spoke to me, and you chose to be overly critical.”
“I don’t want your pity,” her mother said sharply. “I just want to explain. I know you might never forgive me, but I hate myself for the way I’ve treated you, and I never saw it. I heard it come out of my mouth, but I told myself it was to help you be the best you could. I rationalized the very thing I grew up loathing.”
“But it’s only me you do it to,” Tara said shakily.
“No, it’s not. I do it to your father, too, and I did it to Carey when he needed a reminder.”
“You never did it to Amelia.”
“When I had Amelia, she was so easy. She loved being in the spotlight. She was happy to wear pretty dresses and let me style her hair. And as she got older, I never had to remind her of the importance of putting forward her best image.”
“Don’t you mean her fake image?”
“No. It wasn’t fake for her. But then you came along, and you were this sweet, beautiful quiet girl who didn’t care if you got dirty and didn’t want to impress anyone. You wanted to be comfortable and you wanted to be you. I should have celebrated that about you, but I was lost. I didn’t know how to relate to you. That’s a horrible thing to say to your child, but it’s true. You hated to slow down enough for me to brush your hair or put bows in it, and you wanted to wear sneakers, not Mary Janes or cute sandals. You wanted jeans and leggings and the things your friends were wearing, and that should have been fine. A relief, even, that you weren’t like me. But it was ingrained in my mind that I needed the family to look and act a certain way, and I didn’t know how to break away from that.”
“Well, that’s messed up,” Tara said, refusing to give her an easy out. “And I paid the price.”
“You’re right, and so did the rest of our family, and Levi, and his family, and that wasn’t fair of me. I have so many regrets. I didn’t want to believe Amelia could be so rotten to you when you were younger. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I had believed you and never given her the chance to be mean to you. Never given myself the chance.”
Tears welled in Tara’s eyes at that admission.
“I promised myself I wouldn’t do that to you today. I had a plan. I was going to take you aside and apologize and tell you all this, but then we were at the event, and all those people know me as the person I’ve always been. I didn’t know…I fell right back into my old habits. I don’t know how to act any other way. But I want to, Tara.” She pushed to her feet, and Tara instinctively took a step back. Her mother stopped and bowed her head, more tears falling. “I don’t blame you for keeping your distance.” She met Tara’s gaze, and the love in her eyes was inescapable. “I don’t know how you turned out to be so lovely when I have been such a shit.”
Tears slid down Tara’s cheeks at the deep-seated anguish she carried toward her mother and the raw pain in her mother’s voice.
“But I’m going to get help.” Her mother lifted her chin. “I know you might never forgive me, but I want to change, and I want to be a better mother and wife.”
Suddenly she wondered if her parents were on the brink of disaster. “Where’s Daddy?”
“He’s in his office.”
“Are you two…breaking up?”
“No. At least I hope not. Your father is not a quitter. He loves me despite my faults, and you should know that he has always stood up for you. Not just today. In the past, in private, he always tried to get me to say the right things, and I wanted to. But then our days would start and they were chaotic and I’d try…and fail, and I’d tell myself I’d try again tomorrow.”
“You didn’t always fail,” Tara admitted through tears.
“I failed enough,” her mother said. “I let you down, and I let your father down. He saved me when I was younger, and I made all sorts of promises to change. When I had Amelia and your brothers, I truly believed I had changed. But then—”
“So it’s my fault?”
“No, sweetheart, not now and not ever. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that I was wrong. I hadn’t changed. I just hadn’t been in a position to be tested. Robert has always done what he was told, and Carey knew how to play the game and walk the walk until he could walk far away from us and get off the island. I know that’s my fault, too.”
“Carey’s a vagabond at heart,” Tara said softly. “He’d have traveled all the time no matter what.”
“Maybe or maybe not. We’ll never know. But I’ve spoken with a therapist in Chaffee, and I’ll be seeing her every week.”
“You’re serious?” Tara asked carefully. “This isn’t just some ploy for attention?”
Her mother shook her head. “The last thing I want is attention. I’m embarrassed by the things I’ve said and the way I’ve acted and horrified that I’ve made my own beautiful, kindhearted daughter feel so bad.”
Tara’s heart ached for both of them. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about how your mother treated you?”
“Because it hurt too badly to talk about it, especially since I was putting on a repeat performance.” She closed her eyes and held on to the counter for balance, breathing deeply. When she opened her eyes, she didn’t even try to dry her tears.
For the first time ever, Tara saw the woman beneath the steely facade. She saw her mother’s faults, vulnerabilities, and to her own shock, her mother’s strength, because of all people, Tara knew what it was like to carry a secret that felt bigger than herself and how much strength it took to admit it.
“I’m going to apologize to everyone,” her mother promised. “To Levi, his family, Joey. Please give me a chance to make it up to you. To make it up to our family. Please don’t move out.”
Tara’s heart told her to say okay, that she’d stay and do everything she could to make things better. But she thought of Joey and what advice she might give her in the same situation. Staying might make it easier for her mother, but it would also leave Tara in a situation where she was forced to endure the same treatment while her mother tried to figure herself out. If Joey were in this situation, Tara would not want her to stay. She mustered her courage and said, “I’m glad you’re getting help, and I hope things can change. But I’m going to move out, Mom. I’m going to stay at Jules’s apartment for now, and I’ll find a more permanent solution when I can. But I can’t stay here.”
“I don’t blame you for hating me,” her mother said quietly.
“I don’t hate you.” Tara swiped at her tears. She was sad for all they’d lost and would never get back, and despite everything, she was hopeful for what they might one day have. “I love you even though I hate some things you’ve said to me and the things you’ve said about Levi. But it’s time for me to be a grown-up, and maybe it’ll be easier for you to work through your issues if we put some space between us. I’m going to pack a few things before I leave.”
Her mother’s shoulders slumped, sadness weighing down her features despite her agreeable nod. “Do you want help packing?”
Tara reached for the olive branch. “Sure, if you promise not to make me feel like my packing isn’t good enough.”
“I promise.” Her mother pretended to zip her lips and throw away the key.
Gifted with a rare dose of her mother’s humor, Tara said, “Okay.”
As they headed upstairs, Tara’s hopeful heart, the one that had been so swept up in Levi, she hadn’t been able to hope for much else, led the way.
A LITTLE WHILE later, Tara drove toward Main Street, the reality of her situation hitting hard. She didn’t have a home, and she had no idea if her mother was capable of changing. What if she couldn’t change? Where would that leave them? A lump formed in her throat. She couldn’t go there. She was already mired down with enough for one night, but at the same time, she felt an unexpected flutter of something else. Something good. The contradicting sensations caught her off guard, and she looked up at the glow of the old-fashioned streetlights, closed shops, and empty sidewalks. The flower boxes were vibrant with colorful blooms, and the giraffes in front of the Happy End gift shop wore cheery SEE YOU TOMORROW signs around their necks.
And then understanding of that unexpected flutter hit her. Not hard or all at once but soft, like the gradual feeling of the temperature dropping, the sky darkening, and the promise of a new day forming. Only it didn’t feel like a promise. It felt like a possibility, and it wasn’t just the possibility of one new beginning. It was the possibility of many. For herself, with Levi and Joey, and if the stars aligned and her mother really wanted it bad enough, then maybe they’d have a new beginning, too.
As she parked in front of Jules’s shop, she mentally covered those seeds of possibilities with care, patting the soil around them with nurturing hands, and watered them with hope. Feeling lighter but lonely without Levi there to tell of her awakening, she gathered her purse and computer bag and popped the trunk button on her key fob as she stepped out of the car. As she closed the door, a shadowy figure appeared at the entrance to the alley beside the building. She froze, her heart racing, fingers clutching the keys like a weapon.
“Would you like some help with your bags, blondie?”
Tara’s heart leapt as Levi walked into the glow of the streetlamp. She ran to him and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. “You’re here! I can’t believe you’re here.” How had he known she needed him?
“I promised to let you fly solo when you faced your mother, but there’s no way I’d leave you to deal with the aftermath of all those feelings alone.”
“IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.” She kissed his lips, his cheeks, and his lips again, unable to believe he was there. “Where’s Joey? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“Joey is staying with Jesse tonight, and he’s taking her to school tomorrow. And I didn’t tell you because I knew you would tell me not to come.”
Tears slid down her cheeks. “I would’ve, but I’m so glad you’re here. I have so much to tell you.”
“I have to be on the first ferry out in the morning, but I’m yours all night.”
“I hope you’ve got that wrong. You’re here for the night, but you’re mine for much longer.”
“Every second of every day, sweetheart.”
Moonlight shimmered in his eyes, and with the man of her dreams holding her, her mother’s promise, and all those other glorious possibilities waiting in the wings, he sealed his vow with a deep, delicious kiss.