It took me days to tell Hailey that Elton had made a pass at me. I used Parker’s party as an excuse to put off the long conversation I knew it would start. I only had six weeks to put it all together, and I needed to get invites out quickly. Plus, I still had Taylor’s wedding to help plan.
When Hailey came into work with her eyes glistening with tears, however, time was up. My first thought was that she’d found out on her own and that’s what her tears were about. When she handed me Xander and collapsed onto the couch, I figured it had to be something else or she wouldn’t have let me within ten feet of Xander.
“What’s wrong?” I asked and rushed to her side, sitting next to her and planting Xander on my lap.
“Roshan’s leaving,” she said, lifting her face from the same cushion I’d used to smother my Roshan problems in.
“What do you mean he’s leaving? Forever?” I wanted to be disappointed for her, but mostly I was relieved. Maybe I wouldn’t have to tell her about Elton.
“No, only a couple of months, but that feels like forever!”
Xander leaned over and patted Hailey’s legs. Maybe he sensed she was upset, or maybe he was just doing what babies do, but either way it soothed her enough to sit up and dry her eyes.
“Two months isn’t long.” I wished Xander would soothe me. I’d still have to tell Hailey about Elton, only now it would add to the blow of his leaving. “Where’s he going?”
“To this amazing yoga retreat geared toward visualizing and actualizing your dreams.” She rubbed her nose then wiped her hand on her pants. “And then he’s going on a speaking tour to all these different places where he’ll meet amazing people. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him!” Xander took the place of the couch cushion, and she laid her cheek on his head. He squirmed, but she only tightened her hold.
I rubbed my hand in circles on her back trying to find words to comfort her, but all I could come up with was a question. “What exactly is ‘actualizing’?”
“You know, when you actually make something happen. You make it actual.” Hailey paused long enough to set Xander on the rug at our feet.
“It’s like my plan to have my own nail shop and do the coolest designs anywhere,” she went on. “When school is hard and all I want to do is paint nails, I visualize what my shop will look like so when I’m done with school I can actualize it.”
No matter how hard she tried to explain the concept, I didn’t get it. Actualizing still sounded kind of . . . made up. More and more, that’s how all of Elton’s stuff sounded.
“Are you sad he’s leaving because he’s a sort of mentor to you?” I asked slowly. “Or are you sad he’s leaving because you have deeper feelings for him—like romantic ones?” I sent up a desperate prayer that my matchmaking magic hadn’t worked on her.
“Well, obviously, I like him as more than a guru kind of guy,” she answered too quickly for my prayer to be heard. But who am I kidding? Like that prayer would have worked anyway. I was good at what I did.
“You’re the one who told me we’d be perfect together,” she added, driving a theoretical knife deeper into whatever organ in the body is responsible for humiliation. “Things aren’t going as quick as I thought they would, but I’m cool with that. It’s not like I can introduce someone into Xander’s life super fast anyway.” She touched the top of his head when she said his name, and he banged his plastic ring on the floor in response.
“Maybe what you could focus on while he’s gone is finding ways to motivate yourself,” I suggested. I had to find some way to undo what I’d done and to soften the blow of what I knew I had to tell her. “You’re already so amazing you should have all the confidence in the world.
“In the meantime,” I added and stood to pull her up next to me. “Let’s get some pizza.” The news I had to deliver would be easier to swallow with some deep-dish pepperoni pizza from my favorite pizza place. Sal’s made everything taste better.
My plan probably would have worked, too, if Elton hadn’t already convinced Hailey to go vegan. No slice of cardboard covered in fake cheese was going to make bad news better. Ever. I tried. I waited until she’d finished half her pizza, but when she cringed through an entire slice from first bite to last, I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer. I spilled everything about what Elton had said to me.
“He wants to take you out?” she asked, her eyes already watering. Though, to be fair, that could have been from the pizza.
Either way, I could only nod.
“Of course he does.” She set her pretend pizza down. “I knew he was way outta my field. Why would he wanna go out with me when he could have you?”
“First of all,” I said and passed her a slice of my pepperoni pizza. “He can’t have me. And second, you’re out of his league.” I assumed she’d meant league and not field, but I’d wait for another opportunity to fix her mixed metaphor. Instead I listed every talent and good quality she had. There were a lot. By the time I was done, she’d finished my pizza, and I figured she could give up Elton as easily as she had veganism.
Wrong.
The next day the first thing she said to me was, “If I’m all those things you say, why doesn’t he want me?” Her lip quivered, but Xander beat her to the tears.
The day after that the bells at the door chimed, prompting a deep, jagged sigh. Apparently they reminded her of the last time Elton had come in to see her. Except now she knew he’d been coming in to see me.
A couple days later I said something about yogurt, and her chin started quivering. “It sounds so much like yoga,” she cried. She didn’t have to explain. She couldn’t have anyway. She’d flown to the bathroom, wiping at her eyes as she went.
After two weeks whatever punishment I thought I deserved had been served up in heaping spoonfuls of sighs and hidden tears. I hated myself for ever thinking Elton would be right for her.
The only thing that kept me from running away was the fact my sister would soon be home for Thanksgiving. Most days when Hailey wouldn’t stop talking about Elton, wondering where he was and what he was doing, I focused on planning everything I would do with my sister during her visit.
She and Preston arrived the day before Thanksgiving. Even though Caroline and I talked at least once a day, I hadn’t seen her in five months. As soon as I walked in the door from work, I ran into her arms. After weeks of comforting Hailey, I needed some comfort of my own.
Parker came in five minutes after I had and shook Preston’s hand before pulling him into a hug and asking, “How’s married life?”
Preston slapped him on the shoulder. “You need to find someone like Caroline.”
“There’s only one Caroline.” Parker broke away from Preston to hug my sister. “And you took her. I’m resigned to bachelorhood.”
“You’re right.” Preston took Parker’s place and wrapped his arms around Caroline’s waist, pulling her close. “There is only one Caroline.” He bent down and kissed her. Not a peck. A good long kiss. Long enough for Parker and me to glance at each other then quickly glance away.
“There’s always Liza Belle,” Preston said breaking away from Caroline to hug me. “She’s a close second.”
I winced and inched out of his hug. I didn’t mind being compared to my sister. It had been happening most of my life. I was used to it. It just got old always coming in second.
“Preston!” Caroline smacked his arm. “She’s not a cheap knockoff. She’s an original.” She put her arm around my shoulder and squeezed. “An original who has no interest in getting married. What would Daddy do without her?”
I didn’t respond. I’d said the same thing about myself at least a thousand times, so there was no reason hearing her say it should make my chest close up tighter than the sea anemone I used to poke when the tides were low. But there I was, pretending I wasn’t gasping for breath.
“Where is Daddy anyway?” I asked.
“He went for a walk on the beach,” she answered.
A walk on the beach meant he was having a good day. I should have been thrilled. Daddy was feeling well enough to do the thing he loved most, and Caroline was home, but all I could think about was why I suddenly didn’t like the idea of not getting married.
“Let’s see if we can find him,” Caroline said to me and grabbed Preston’s hand. “I could use some beach time anyway. It’s been too long.” She and Preston headed for the door, expecting us to follow. I glanced at Parker, who motioned for me to go first.
“For the record,” he said in a low voice as I passed by him. “I don’t think you’re second to Caroline. If anything, you’re first among the Woodhouse sisters.”
“Thanks.” I smiled.
Not everyone would understand all my complicated feelings toward my sister. I worshipped her, but it wasn’t always easy measuring up to her straight A’s, her UCLA undergrad degree, and her USC master’s degree. Or her perfect smile, size-four figure, and long list of accomplishments that had nothing to do with her looks. It was hard to compare myself with her and not feel second-best.
Somehow Parker got that without me ever saying anything about it. The longer he was back, the more grateful I was for his friendship—even when it came with a healthy dose of “advice.” I slipped my arm through his, and we followed Preston and Caroline into the sunset, so comfortable in our familiarity that we didn’t need to say anything at all.
We kept a few paces behind Preston and Caroline, and for the first time since Elton had ruined my matchmaking plans for Hailey, my world seemed right again.