Caroline wasn’t due for another seven months, which seemed like a lifetime. On the other hand, I wished I had to wait a lifetime for Erica and Elton’s reception. Unfortunately it was fast approaching, and he hadn’t stopped putting pressure on me to make it spectacular. Or, in his words, “a positive energy experience where everyone’s auras will connect with hers.”
Whatever that meant.
Choosing a flower that evoked “positive energy” was no easy task, especially in January. So I was pleasantly surprised when Jami came up with the perfect suggestion while we were planning all the details.
“What about chrysanthemums?” she asked as we scrolled through Pinterest for vegan recipes while we sat in my favorite coffee shop. “They’re a happy flower.”
“That’s not a bad idea.” The more I got to know Jami, the more I realized she rarely did have a bad idea. “They’re cheap, easy to find, and even easier to arrange. I’m feeling more positive about this whole thing already.”
Jami let out a laugh, the first one I’d ever heard in response to my snarky comments. And there had been a lot of those over the past few weeks as we’d planned. Especially when I’d given Elton the guest list for his approval—which I’d stacked with my friends—and the only name he’d crossed off was Hailey’s. His excuse was that she’d probably feel uncomfortable. True, but he still could have invited her. I knew she would feel snubbed when she found out, and I would have to be the one to tell her.
“Sorry. I really need to quit saying rude things about Erica.” I glanced at Jami, hoping she’d disagree, because I doubted I’d be able to stop. “She’s probably not as bad as I think she’s going to be.”
“I don’t know. She is vegan. Odds are you’re right about her.”
Now it was my turn to laugh. Jami continued to scroll through recipes but with a hint of a smile on her face. A comfortable silence fell between us—the first we’d ever shared—and I decided I liked her. I liked her, and I liked hanging out with her. Especially since Taylor cancelled our plans more often than not the closer we got to her wedding.
We were interrupted by a buzzing from Jami’s phone. My eyes were involuntarily drawn to it laying on the table between us. It buzzed again, and Blake’s name, picture, and number came up. She must have seen my surprise because she grabbed the phone and jumped up.
“I’m sorry, but I’d better take this.” She pushed the Receive button but waited to say hello until she’d stepped out the door.
Obviously I watched her. How could I not watch her, with questions racing through my head about why Blake would call her? Was it a church thing? I knew they went to the same meetings every Sunday, so it had to be. He’d barely texted me since he’d been gone, and Jami got a phone call? That didn’t seem right.
It also didn’t seem right that I wasn’t more upset about it. Definitely curious, but not upset. I’d missed hanging out with him, but not as much as I should have if I’d actually been into him. In fact, most days I had enough to do that I didn’t have time to think about him.
It looked like Jami had been thinking a lot more about him than I had. I caught the hint of a grin when she’d answered, but she kept her back to the window she stood in front of. The call only lasted five minutes, and the blank look on her face didn’t reveal anything when she came back inside.
“Sorry about that. Where were we?” She sat down, keeping her eyes focused on the hot chocolate in front of her, despite my hard stare. When she didn’t offer up any info on her own, I resisted the temptation to dig for it.
“I’m not sure. Vegan menu, I think,” I said slowly, with my eyes boring through her, still hoping to root out what I wanted to hear.
“Right. Vegan menu.” She faked a smile. “Cardboard sandwiches with some kale on the side? Something like that?”
I blinked and let another few seconds pass before forcing my own smile and answering, “Something like that. Maybe we can do some research on our own and meet up again in a couple days.”
“Yeah, let’s do. Unless you can think of any other details we need to hammer out . . .” She trailed off and glanced at her phone. I could think of a million details I wanted to “hammer out” with her, but none of them involved Erica’s party.
“No, I think we’ve got it. I’d better get back to work anyway.” I stood and pushed in my chair. “Have I told you how much I appreciate you helping out with this thing when you don’t even know either one of them? Which, by the way, you should be grateful for—the not knowing them, not my appreciating your help.”
“I knew what you meant.” She gave me a real smile. “And it’s been fun. It reminds me of when we were kids and we used to play together.” She slipped her purse over her shoulder and handed her cup to the waiter who’d come to wipe down our table.
“You remember that?” I figured she’d forgotten. It had been so long since we’d talked, let alone been friends, I was surprised she had any memories of me.
“Of course. You were nice to me when things weren’t so good at home.” She opened the door, and we walked out together.
I didn’t recall being kind, but all of my memories of her were wrapped up with the nights I’d spent listening to Nancy rehearse over and over the long list of Jami’s accomplishments. Maybe I’d always thought she was boring because I was so bored listening to everything about her rather than getting to know her. Maybe I actually liked her. In which case, Parker had been right and now had one more thing to gloat about.
“I’m glad you remember when we were kids,” I said and pulled my wrap tighter even though it wasn’t that cold. “I’m afraid I haven’t been very nice since you’ve been back.”
She lifted her shoulder slightly, not disagreeing with me but not agreeing either. “You gave me a job, and it’s been fun planning this party with you.”
We reached the door to my shop, and I didn’t know whether to wave goodbye or go for a hug. She solved the problem by opening her arms and wrapping them loosely around me. Not quite a bestie squeeze, but definitely a friend hug.
We broke apart, and I waved goodbye. I watched her walk to her car and mulled over her call from Blake, wondering what was going on, searching deep for some reaction other than curiosity.
There was nothing. No hurting heart, no feeling of emptiness, no spilling of tears or any other romantic cliché I’d read about broken hearts.
“I guess he’s just a friend.” I shrugged then glanced side to side to see if anyone had seen me talking to myself. I stepped inside my shop and continued the conversation, but in my head this time. Maybe this is why I don’t have any interest in getting married. Maybe I’m incapable of love. That didn’t seem quite right either. The more I saw Caroline and Taylor with their “soulmates,” the more I envied them. To be honest, part of me even envied Elton and Erica.
Now that Caroline was having a baby, I spent a lot of time wondering if being an aunt would be enough for me. Would I want kids someday? The more I pictured myself as a mom, the more I liked the idea. But no way would I do it alone. I’d seen how hard it was for Hailey.
An even bigger reason for my not wanting to ever be a single parent was my own experience. Most of the time I didn’t miss my mom because I’d never known her, but every once in a while, I had an overwhelming feeling of emptiness. I couldn’t figure out where it came from, but the thing that made it go away was looking at old pictures of Mom. If I ever had kids, I didn’t want them to have that same aching for a parent they’d never know.
My thoughts about Blake and Jami and my own future were taking up so much of my attention I didn’t even notice Parker behind the counter holding Xander.
“Hey.” His voice brought me back to the present, and seeing him bouncing Xander up and down brought an involuntary smile to my face.
“Hey. What are you doing here?” I held out my arms for Xander, but he snuggled closer to Parker, burying his face in Parker’s shoulder.
“He likes me better.” A smug grin spread across Parker’s face.
“Traitor.” I patted Xander’s back as I called him out for refusing me. I looked behind Parker to where Hailey was curled over her books, her face scrunched up with frustration.
“Homework?” I asked as I set my wrap and purse on the seat next to her.
“Yeah. Parker came to help.” She glanced at him, and her face smoothed over.
“Oh . . . that was nice of you.” I followed her gaze back to Parker. He hadn’t come to see me. He’d come to help her with her math. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. But I felt something. Something like what I’d expected to feel when I saw Blake’s number come up on Jami’s phone.
“How was your meeting with Jami? Got everything planned?” Parker handed Xander back to Hailey and leaned over her shoulder to check her homework.
“What are you planning?” she asked.
I hadn’t told her about Erica’s party yet, and I’d hoped to put it off a little longer. Or not at all, since she hadn’t been invited. I glared at Parker, who didn’t take any notice of his screw-up.
“I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you this.” I took a deep breath. “Elton hired me to plan a reception thing for Erica.”
Her face went white, and she clutched Xander tighter.
“I knew you wouldn’t want to help me with it, so I hired Jami. I really don’t want to do it, but he kind of suckered me into it.” Words sped out of my mouth but not fast enough to keep her chin from quivering and her eyes turning watery. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine.” She sucked in her lips then shook her head violently enough to make Xander whimper. “I’m over him.” She set her shoulders back and tossed her hair. “I’ll go, and I’ll act like there was never anything between us. I’ll be fine.”
I clamped my teeth together but then forced myself to say what I really didn’t want to say. “You’re not invited.”
Her eyes grew to the size of sand dollars.
“I put you on the list, but he took you off,” I hurried to explain. “I told him he should invite you, but he thought you’d be uncomfortable—”
“I’d be uncomfortable?” She rolled her eyes. Hard. “He’s the one who pretended to be into me to get me to buy all of his crap.” She marched to the back of the store and set Xander in his playpen. “I am so over him. What a—” She stopped herself. She knew my feelings about cursing in front of babies.
I breathed a sigh of relief and glanced at Parker, whose thoughts were so obvious he could have had “I told you so” tattooed to his forehead.
He kept it to himself, though, and directed his comments to Hailey instead. “You did pretty well on most of these,” he said, pointing to her book. “I made some notes. Try them again, and I’ll take another look tomorrow.”
Tomorrow? How often were they getting together?
“I’ve got to run.” He closed the pencil he’d been using inside her book.
“Thank you so much! I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Hailey held out her arms for a hug, and Parker hugged her. Parker wasn’t a hugger. I mean, he hugged me, but he’d known me forever. He’d known Hailey for, like, a couple months.
“I’ll see you later,” he said to me, without a hug.
“Yeah. Come by for dinner if you want.” It had been a while. I’d been so wrapped up in planning Erica’s party and Taylor’s reception, I hadn’t really noticed. But now that I thought about it, I didn’t think he’d been over since Christmas. Two weeks was a long time.
“I’ve got plans, but thanks.” He opened the door and walked out, leaving me to wonder what kind of plans.
“He is so awesome,” Hailey said once we couldn’t see him through the front window anymore, although she kept staring like she might conjure him up again.
“You’ll never believe what happened,” I said to break her trance.
“What?” She tore her eyes from where Parker had been and looked at me.
“Guess who called Jami while we were having coffee.”
“Who?”
Now I had her full attention.
“Blake.”
“What?” Her brows went up into sharp peaks that nearly reached the top of her hairline. “You’re kidding me!”
I shook my head and recounted the whole story. She listened and let out all the right exclamations at all the right places, and I was sure she wasn’t still thinking about Parker. I just wished I wasn’t either.